PETER 
PIPER 



PETER PIPER 



Peter Piper 



BY 

DORIS EGERTON JONES 

With Frontispiece by 
HENRY J. PECK 




PHILADELPHIA 

GEORGE W. JACOBS & COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 



CONTENTS 

BOOK I THE BOY. PETER - i 

BOOK II THE GIRL, PETER- 89 

BOOK III THE WOMAN, PETKR - 249 



PETER PIPER 

BOOK ONE THE BOY, PETER 

CHAPTER I 
Piper's Pretty Boy 

PETER PIPER, you are seventeen and three-quarter years 
old. You're not a kid any more, and your old diary is 
full, and you've got a talkative mood on, so, while you're 
starting on a new blank book, you might just as well 
give an account of yourself. I suppose anyone else would 
think it funny to write everything that happens down as 
I do, but I guess if they hadn't got anyone to talk to from 
one year's end to the other, except father and Dick, they'd 
just long to have a real old yarn with someone now and 
again. Ever since I was fifteen I've done it. I don't 
really keep a proper diary ; I scarcely ever date things, 
and sometimes I don't put anything down for a couple of 
months if things are too dull and uninteresting. 

I started because I did want sometimes so dreadfully 
to talk to another girl. I'm a girl, you know, and so I 
pretended this book was one too my greatest friend. 
I call her Di short for diary, but it might just as well 
be Diana and since of course no one ever sees it but me, 
I tell her everything I do or think or read. I used to 
tell her lots about books and the people in them once, 
but now I think a lot more about myself. I suppose it 
is because I am growing old. I never used to think there 
was anything funny about me, or wonder why I was different 



2 PETER PIPER 

from other girls at least I suppose I'm different ; I'm 
not like girls I read about in books, anyway I never knew 
a live one. 

There are a few girls at East Magnet, where we go for 
our mail and stores, but I have only seen them from horse- 
back. I have talked to the girl at Mason's store, but she 
is a vulgar little piece, and made eyes at me. I kissed her 
once across the counter to see what she would do, and 
she slapped my cheek and laughed ; but she was pleased. 
If I were a girl I would not let a stranger kiss me. Of course 
I am a girl, but nobody knows it. Everyone thinks I 
am a boy. I have never worn girls' clothes in my life. 
I don't know why ; I never thought about it till lately. 
It was just me, same as living away in the bush by our- 
selves was me. I suppose father dressed me as a boy at 
first because he could manage it better than girl's things. 
You see, my mother died when I was born, and afterwards 
I just went on wearing them. 

They're lots more comfortable, I'm sure ; besides, I 
could never ride in skirts. I wonder what I really look 
like to a stranger. People often stare at me when I go 
into the township. The girl at the store told me they 
call me " Piper's pretty boy." But I can ride better 
than any of them for miles around all the same, and they 
know it. They had races at Lennville last month, and 
father let me go with Dick, for a wonder, and I won the 
hurdles. Phew ! it was a scamper, but it was fun. I 
lost my hat, and I was scarlet ; and when the judge gave 
the prize to " Mr. Piper " I nearly died laughing at the 
sudden queerness of the situation. 'I'm used to being 
just " Peter," of course ; but " Mr. Piper " sounded so 
funny. I looked at Dick, and he was grinning like a 
hyena. Some ladies came up and talked to us real ladies, 
and they made us go and have lunch in their tent, and 
they had champagne, and they laughed and talked and 
betted, and I was the shyest, silliest, stuck pig on the 
face of the earth. I didn't mind the men, but there were 
girls there ; and somehow their pretty frocks and silk 



PIPER'S PRETTY BOY 3 

stockings and truck made me feel a fool. My hands 
seemed like elephant's feet, and I got in everybody's wayj 
There was one girl there called Marion, who was so pretty, 
she reminded me of the girl at the store. She made eyes 
at the men too, only she did it more slyly. I suppose 
that is what makes the difference between them, because she 
was a lady, and all the men were paying her compliments. 
I hated her all of a sudden ; I wished I had frills too, and 
that the men would look at me like they did at her. 

She would talk to me too I suppose because I didn't 
speak to her, only stared. I suppose she thought I admired 
her but was too shy to say so, and of course I could have 
got some fun out of it if I hadn't been silly ; but Dick 
grinned so I couldn't get a word out, and once,when he 
winked, I blushed outright. I suppose it was a blush 
I'd never done it before, but I got burning hot ; I felt as 
if my face would scorch the Marion girl as she leant over 
me. She was saying : " How is it I've never seen you 
before, Mr. Piper ? Don't you care for dances and parties ? 
We have such jolly ones at Lennville." 

" I don't know," I blurted out. " I've never been to 
any," and I got up and walked away. I suppose it must 
have been an awful thing to do, for everyone looked a 
bit surprised, and one man whistled softly under his 
breath. 

" Pretty cub ! " he said to another man as I made 
for the door ; and as I fled outside I heard Dick say in 
an explanatory sort of way to Mrs. Delmar, the fat woman 
who seemed to own the place, " Peter's not used to girls." 

I wouldn't go back ; I just knocked about on my own 
till Dick was ready to go home. He roared over the affair 
as we cantered back, but after a while he frowned, and 
said seriously : " Look here, Peter, this is getting over 
the fence. You're nearly eighteen now ; your father 
ought to send you away to Perth or Melbourne for a bitj 
I shall just speak to him myself about it." 

" Yes, you're likely to," I jeered. " Bet you a level 
sov. you haven't the pluck." But in a way I almost 



4 PETER PIPER 

wish he dared. I should like to see something besides 
bush. Not that I don't love it I do, I do ! every bit of 
it. The big, blue-black skies at night, like ball dresses 
that I read about in the papers sometimes, with the stars 
sewn on for spangles, and the white gums like shiny 
skeletons seeming to wave you back with a mysterious 
warning when you go outside. And then the goldness 
and gaiety of it all in the sun ! But I like the nights best ; 
it seems so much easier to think at night. I think a lot 
now. 

But I haven't described myself yet. Now, Di, here's 
an old hand-mirror. I'll tell you just what I'm like. 
I'm fairly tall and slim, my eyes are a no-colour sort of grey, 
and my lashes are long and black, and make my eyes look 
as if they were black too but they're not. My face and 
arms are tanned by the sun, and the bridge of my nose is 
just powdered with freckles, and where my shirt opens 
my neck is brown too, but the rest of me is white enough. 
My hair is cut short, and it is a mass of tiny little curls, 
wee frizzly ones ; I expect I'd look like a negress if I let 
it grow long, but perhaps if I did it would not curl so hard. 
And I don't look so bad even dressed as a man, especially 
in my working clothes that is, a blue shirt and buff 
trousers and leggings. 

I've lived here always, as far as I know. I can't 
remember anything else or anybody but father and old 
Fran. Fran does the odd jobs about the place and most 
of the cooking. I don't know whether there were ever 
other people here or not, because you can't ask father 
questions he only told me to hold my tongue or mind 
my own business the few times I have tried and Fran 
doesn't know anything to tell ; he says I was about two 
years old when he came, and there was no one here then. 
I don't know anything about my mother ; father gets 
in a rage when I mention her I wonder why ? Did he 
love her so much that he wants to forget about her, or was 
he cruel to her and does the thought of her reproach him ? 
I should think it was that, myself, because sometimes he 



PIPER'S PRETTY BOY 5 

starts telling me about her without my prompting him, as 
if he were sort of lashing himself into a rage. I don't 
believe he could have loved her a bit because he always 
has a nasty sneering little laugh when he speaks of her. 
Perhaps he married her for her money, and then found 
it was settled on her so that he couldn't touch it, and 
they separated. Perhaps she isn't dead at all but she 
must be, or surely she wouldn't ever have left me with 
him. I'd never leave a baby of mine to a man, if he was 
its father forty-six times over. 

Our house must have been a nice one, although it is 
not big ; it is built mostly of galvanised iron and wood, 
but the walls are all neatly boarded inside and there are 
some beautiful pictures hanging on them. There's a 
veranda running round on three sides too, though I expect 
it to topple down any day. It's just alive with white ants ; 
they've got at the flooring, too, and you have to be awfully 
careful where you tread in some places or you'd go through. 
It's all untidy-looking, like the picture I once saw of a 
girl's bedroom, in a magazine, where she had been dressing 
for a dance ; but it's not such a pretty untidiness as that. 
I suppose it wants a woman to look after it ; perhaps it 
was gay once, when my mother was alive. I read in a book 
once that houses have souls ; ours hasn't, it's dead, it's 
like a middle-aged frump who has lost all care about her 
appearance. 

I usedn't to think about it once, I was always outside 
riding ; I only came in to eat and sleep, and often I used 
to sleep out in the bush if I was too far away to come 
home ; but now it sort of worries me. I wish I knew 
how to make it look nice, though what's the use anyway ? 
there's no one to see it if I did. There's no one lives 
near us except Dick. We only see drivers going through 
and prospectors and sundowners ; and sometimes, but 
not often, father talks to men in East Magnet, but no one 
ever comes to see us but Dick. 

Dick is my pal ; he's got a station about ten miles 
away from us. He knows I'm a girl, of course. I just 



6 PETER PIPER 

loved his father ; I called him " Dad " as well as Dick ; 
he used to be so good to me. And old Emma, the woman 
who keeps house for them, would make us cakes and 
sweets ; and Dad Harcourt would give Dick and me 
lessons in the evening, and tell us about all the famous 
men in history, and all the good and beautiful women, 
and sometimes he told us about the bad ones too. He 
said I ought to know, because one day I would be beautiful 
and the lovelier a woman was the better God meant her 
to be, otherwise she made beasts of men. But father says 
there is no God. 

He sent Dick to college in Adelaide when he was thirteen, 
and then, because I missed him so dreadfully. Dad Harcourt 
was sweeter to me than ever. He used to give me lessons 
every afternoon, and that is why I know a good deal, 
even if I have never been to school like other girls. I 
know some geography and whole lots of history, I love 
reading about battles, and even a bit of geology ; and I can 
crochet too I saw directions how to do it a couple of 
months ago in one of the magazines Dick lent me (he 
gets lots of books and papers sent up from Perth every 
month), and I've made some such pretty mats only I 
don't know what to do with them now that they are 
made. I didn't tell Dick I had, though ; he'd laugh. 
He's got a big square jaw and heaps of freckles ; and 
we're awfully fond of each other, but we've taken to 
quarrelling lately sometimes. I suppose it's because I'm 
a woman and not a real boy. I don't think he's very 
polite to me sometimes ; he doesn't talk to me, anyway, 
like men do to girls in books, but perhaps they behave 
differently in real life. I wish I could see real live people. 
I feel like the " Lady of Shalott " ; I'm sick of shadows, 
I'm tired of the looking-glass ; I want to meet real girls 
and men men who will make love to me. I want to be 
made love to, and I want to be kissed. There ! 

I don't care if it is shameless and bold and worse than 
the girl at the store I want just to see what it's like. 
So now you know the sort of girl you're talking to, Di, 



PIPER'S PRETTY BOY 7 

are you horribly shocked ? But I've never seen anything, 
anything at all, and I can't help being human, can I, Di 
dear ? And I've never been kissed in all my life. Perhaps 
there isn't any romance in the world really outside story- 
books ; father says there isn't, but I should like to pretend 
for a while there was. How dreadful this looks written, 
and yet it isn't more awful to write it than just think 
it, is it ? I didn't know I thought it, even, at least not as 
bad as all that, till I started to write, and then my vague 
crossness seemed to gather to a head and burst all over the 
paper. 

What really upset me is, Dick said to-day while we 
were yarding some sheep that he was going to sell out 
and go to one of the Eastern States. I expected it in a 
way, for he has been restless ever since Dad Harcourt 
died, and I suppose it is even worse for him than it is 
for me, he having seen a different life, but all the same 
it makes me feel bad. It's rotten enough with Dick, but 
without him I can't bear it. I shall clear out, too. I 
must be of some use in the world, only when you've never 
seen any of it the prospect of facing it on your own is a bit 
scarey. But one thing is settled : live here alone after 
Dick's gone I won't ; and I shall tell father so, if I can 
screw up my courage ; but stay I will not, as sure as my 

name's Peter P . But is it, now ? It can't be, of 

course ; I wonder what it is ? Perhaps it's Marjorie, or 
Eileen, or Beatrice these are my favourite names ; per- 
haps it's Bridget I'd sooner have Peter than that. 

The other night I said, " Father, haven't I got another 
name besides Peter ? " 

" No," father said shortly. 

" But I wasn't christened Peter," I objected. 

" You weren't christened at all," he said ; " don't 
ask questions." 

" But," I persisted, wondering at my own daring. 
" I must have a sensible name ; every child has a name." 

" Net some," father replied grimly. 

He put down his book and looked at me between his 



8 PETER PIPER 

half-shut eyes in a way that made me feel horrid. " Why ? " 
was all he said. 

" Well," I said, " you're my father, aren't you ? And 
so I suppose " 

Father laughed in his nasty way. " And so " he 

echoed. " Your father," he added over his shoulder as 
he left the room, " if it comforts you to know, was reckoned 
a most honourable man." 

Of course father always is queer, but, Di, wasn't it a 
funny thing to say ? 



CHAPTER II 
Peter's Birthday 

IT'S January now, three whole months since I have had 
a talk to you, Di, and I'm eighteen. It is my birthday 
to-day not that father ever takes any notice of it, but 
Fran always gives me a present ; the darling swears off 
drink for a whole week beforehand in order to get enough 
to buy me something decent. I believe that's what re- 
minds father of it, for he usually gives me some money, 
although he never wishes me a long and prosperous life, 
like Fran does. Sometimes I think father hates me ; 
I believe I must remind him of my mother perhaps I 
have her mannerisms. Yesterday when he was talking 
to me I started to chew my little finger I often do it 
when I'm thinking, I don't know why but father said : 
" Don't do that ! " so suddenly that I jumped. He added 
after a minute, " It's babyish " ; but you could see that was 
an afterthought. 

I've been out riding. It was a great afternoon. Coming 
home the gums threw big interlacing shadows across the 
track, and Nugget picked his way among them as daintily 
as if he were a cat on a velvet pile carpet. 

I wonder if Dick will remember it's my birthday ; 
he generally does. Last one he gave me a glorious gun ; 
it cost him seven guineas, I know, because I accidentally 
saw the bill. It's a real beauty. I suppose it's rather 
hard to know what to give me, one wants so few things 
up here. 

Do you know what I often think I'd like to do, Di ? 
In the magazines there are always advertisements of face- 
creams and powders and scent. I'd like to send some money 
down and buy some. I wonder if they'd improve my skin. 

9 



io PETER PIPER 

The advertisements say even the worst will yield to steady 
treatment ; and mine is so brown, it must look queer 
with my grey eyes. But there's no one to see if I did 
improve it Dick would only laugh. 

It's so funny Fran always gives me girl-presents. 
I've got a whole lot of scent-bottles and pin-trays and stuff 
he's given me ; but last birthday was the limit. The poor 
dear had been rigorously sober as per usual all the week, 
and he couldn't hang out any longer (usually he has a bust- 
up the day after the gay event), but this time as soon as 
he got to East Magnet he made a bee-line for the pub. 
And when he was simply rolling in his saddle he went 
to Mason's store to get me a present. We examined it 
together the next day, and neither of us could make out 
what it was. It was very pretty, a long box, looked as 
if it was made of crocodile skin, but Fran said he guessed 
it was only pressed paper, and it had all sorts of turquoisy 
stones stuck round it. We both admired it, but neither 
of us had the ghost of an idea what it was for. But next 
week when I was talking to Mason's girl I saw another, 
something like it, on the counter, so I said carelessly 
" What's that ? " 

" That ! " the girl said, grinning like a cat. " Oh, 
that's a glove box." 

" But what's the use of it ? " I said. 

" To put your gloves in when you're not wearing them," 
she said. " Want to give me one ? " 

I stared at her for half a second, and then some miners 
who were leaning against the counter at the other end 
talking to old Mason laughed, and one called out : " She's 
cornered you, Piper ; you'll have to pay." So I did, but 
I think it was disgusting. Do all girls ask men as shame- 
lessly for things they want ? Father says no woman 
knows what decency means ; and the funny part was, 
the girl beamed and rolled her eyes at me after as if she 
thought she'd done a great stroke. 

Fran and I've just been watching the sun go down 
on my birthday; it was like a lump of liver, red and 



PETER'S BIRTHDAY H 

nasty, dripping on to the horizon, and the clouds around 
it were smoky like the flame of a sulphur candle. The 
trees were so still you could hear them, and when a mopok 
called out we both started, it sounded so witch-like. Fran 
was smoking, sitting on a bucket, and I was lying on the 
earth, which was still warm. I like the smell of the earth 
and the touch of her on the back of my neck, she makes 
me drowsy and peaceful-feeling. It seems when you curl 
up in her nice old lap as if millions of invisible hands were 
patting and cuddling you in nice and warm, and little 
chirpy crickets seem to grumble all sorts of incompre- 
hensible jokes in your ear. 

Fran's face was all red from the sky glow ; his scarred 
old features his nose is quite flat, and he's only got one 
eye looked just like Satan's in the illustrated " Paradise 
Lost," that Dad Harcourt had. Fran's a Portuguese, 
and he used to be a prizefighter in Melbourne till he got 
knocked out ; then he drifted up to Magnet like so many 
others do. The people are always shifting here pros- 
pectors, drovers, storekeepers, they splash into the quiet 
pool of our lives and then drift away, leaving only a ripple 
of memory behind that soon gets lost in the deadly flatness 
of it all. 

I wish that I could slide away and see the world 
beyond ; it looks as if I'm fixed here for good and all. 
I wonder why father never leaves the place ; perhaps he's 
a criminal and is dodging the police. That's the likeliest 
explanation after all. I wonder why I never thought of 
it before. How exciting ! Perhaps some day a trooper 
will ride up here and arrest him in the King's name, and 
then I suppose Fran and I would have to play bushrangers 
and rescue him on the way to jail. The pistol Dick gave 
me would come in handy then ; only I never will be able 
to shoot straight at least, Dick says I won't. But I'm 
not really as stupid as he makes me out, though I must 
admit I'm better with a gun. Dick is a pig not to have 
come over to-day ; I suppose he has forgotten. Just wait 
till I see him, and I'll tell him what I think about it. Per- 



n PETER PIPER 

haps he's writing to that silly old girl of his in Adelaide, 
Marjorie what's-her-name. Whatever Dick can see in her 
beats me ; her photo's sort of pretty, I grant, but she looks 
as empty as a walnut-shell. Dick used to be sweet on her 
when he was over at the 'Varsity there, and they still write. 
I'd like Dick to marry a nice girl, not a feather-headed 
frivol ; not that I want him to marry anybody I shall 
be horribly jealous of her, even if she is an angel, I 
suppose because Dick's the only pal I've got. If I were 
an ordinary girl and had heaps of men nice to me I don't 
suppose I would mind so much. I do wish I had. I wish 
someone would fall in love with me just to see what it's 
like. 

I wonder if I wore frocks and did my hair like the 
fashion plates whether Dick would love me instead of 
Marjorie. When I was riding with him yesterday I couldn't 
help noticing how brown and hard his cheek was, and I 
wondered what it would feel like against mine. Oh ! 
I am an ass ; whatever would Dick have thought of me 
if he had guessed my thoughts ? Stop being a fool, Peter. 
But I am a girl, hang it all, and I can't help thinking a 
little bit about things other girls do. I'd like to see what 
they're like, just for fun. Fat chance I've got of doing 
it up here. I never meet a decent man, and if I did he 
wouldn't be likely to fall in love with a girl with short 
hair and trousers. 

I want to get away, anywhere. I believe, after all, 
Dick must have said something to father about sending 
me away, for his temper has been simply villainous the 
last week or so, and he and Dick glare at each othef like 
basilisks whenever they meet. They always did hate 
each other. And last night, just as he was going out, 
father suddenly took me by the chin and turned my face 
to the light. 

" So you're not happy up here any longer ? " he said. 

I quaked in my boots, but I answered defiantly : 
"No, father." 

" You're safe and healthy, and have enough to eat 



PETER'S BIRTHDAY 13 

and drink," he growled at the back of his throat. " What 
more do you want ? " 

" I I I want to be a girl," I blurted out, getting 
red for the second time in my life ; " and please let go 
my chin." 

Father glowered at me for a second or two and then 
laughed silently. " I might have known you'd be your 
mother's daughter," he said. " I tried to give you a fair 
chance, to keep you unspotted from the rest of the frail 
crew, but the taint is in your blood." His voice got 
fiercer and more excited. " You want the pleasures of 
the chase, do you ? You want to sully yourself in the 
sordid scramble of lust ; to learn to lie, and love, and 
trick, and ruin a man's faith, do you ? do you, you 
smooth-faced, innocent little fool ? And I tell you again. 
no daughter of mine Oh ! my God ! " His voice 
broke suddenly in an awful sort of laugh that was more 
like a groan. 

I stared at him in sheer fright for a minute or two. 
Father often has black rages, but never anything so horrible 
to look at as that ; his lips were drawn back off his teeth 
like a snarling dingo, and his eyes were downright red bits 
of fire. Then he began to laugh in a jeering, staccato 
way. 

" So you're frightened, are you ? " he jeered. " Fright- 
ened of a man's devil ? The day will come when it will no 
longer alarm you, when you'll play on the beast in him 
with your dainty fingers just to relieve the ennui of a dull 
hour, when you'll lash him into madness with your laugh, 
and break his soul in pieces with the droop of your eyelids 
between dinner-time and the theatre. Oh ! you'll do it 
fast enough when you're melted in the fire of low passion, 
you ignorant statue, you fragile, ignoble toy ! " He 
stopped for want of breath, and I gasped with rage myself ; 
I had never been so Jurious in all my life. 

" How dare you ! " I flamed out at him. " How dare 
you speak to me like that." 

It was almost dark now, for the sun had set, and night 



14 PETER PIPER 

comes down pretty quickly after that. The room seemed 
full of eerie shadows ; I could only see father indistinctly, 
and my voice, too, broke in a fair shriek of anger. I 
expected him to throw me out of the house, but instead 
of that he only said in a queer amax.ed and yet pitiful 
voice. " Trixie ! " and made a half -step towards me ; 
then he seemed to snatch himself back. 

" Go and see if Fran has brought the horses in," he 
said coldly, and I was only too glad to get out. 

Really I think father is a little mad sometimes ; but 
I wonder who Trixie is I wonder if she is my mother, 
or some other woman father loved ? It seems too funny 
for words to think of father ever loving anyone. Perhaps 
he was horrid to my mother because of Trixie, and that is 
why she died. Oh dear ! isn't it awkward not knowing 
anything about oneself or one's parents. I might just 
as well be a foundling. It's fun in a way, being able to 
make up stories about them, but it's too bad never knowing 
whether you're near the right answer or not. 

Dick says he is going to sell out ! There's really no 
reason he should stay here now Dad Harcourt's dead ; 
he doesn't care about station life, what he likes is engineer- 
ing. He took his course in that in Adelaide, and now he 
wants to get rid of this place, and after trotting round 
the Eastern States for a few months' holiday, he's going 
on cne of the mines or to get some billet or other. He says 
he has rather a good chance of making a good deal at 
present ; there's some one wanting to buy several miles of 
land round in this direction, and Dick's place comes in the 
middle. He says they're going to send up a lawyer or 
land agent or somebody to arrange the details personally. 
I suppose he will be a fat middle-aged father of a family 
and going bald. And Dick is a plain beast to have forgotten 
my birthday ; it's ten o'clock, so he won't come now. Of 
course I shan't say anything if he chooses to be nasty ; 
1 shan't show I care, but he might remember I haven't got 
so many friends that I don't notice the neglect of one. 



CHAPTER in 
An Evil Aura 

THE lawyer-man has come up, and he isn't old or fat. 
He's the loveliest animal I've ever seen. Di, he's fairly 
magnificent. He reminds me of the bull Dad Harcourt 
used to be so proud of ; the great weight of his shoulders 
is, if he wasn't built in such a lavish cathedral size, almost 
too much for his hips. I didn't notice his face the first 
time I saw him riding by ; I couldn't get past those shoulders 
I could feel myself being slung across them and carried 
off to his cave. He looks awfully prehistoric somehow, 
although he is dressed better than Dick, and his face is 
smooth like a boy's. I looked at his face the second time 
I saw him ; I was riding back from East Magnet when I saw 
him coming, so I pulled off among the trees where I could 
see him without his seeing me. He looked a bit puzzled 
when he came up and found I had disappeared, and as 
he went slowly past I noticed he rested his hand on his 
revolver. I suppose he thought me a suspicious character. 
That was when I saw his face properly ; it looked rather 
nasty, but fascinating. He'd be a brute to cross, worse 
than father, I should think. I don't think I should like 
him, but all the same I want to see whether I do or not. 
He's staying with Dick. He's been there three days 
now. I asked Dick what he was like, and he said he was 
decent enough, as if that was an answer. 

I got out of Dick later that he has asked him about 
me, but Dick said he didn't bite. I wonder if I wish he 
had? 

I'm beastly dull, I wish I had something to do. I've 
finished the last book Dick lent me ; it's an American 
novel, such a nice one ; the hero's just like the lawyer-man 
to look at. It's comic, but you know I'm a bit like the 



i6 PETER PIPER 

girl too her picture's on the front ; she has grey eyes, 
and a bonnet-hat with big flimsy bows tied under her chin, 
The hero tells me she has a sweet red splendid kissing 
mouth ; he stole that from Swinburne, I know, because I've 
read it. I wonder if I have a kissing mouth ? It curls 
over at the edges just like hers, but perhaps that's not 
what makes it kissable. I wonder what kissing's 
like? 

I asked Dick the other day if he often kissed girls. 
He said : " Not much ! " 

" Why not ? " I queried. 

" Mug's game ! " he retorted laconically. 

I was sitting on an old case out in their shed, and when 
he got up to go out and see after some of their stock I 
still sat there trying to piece it all together. You know 
the hero in that book said it was the heart-throb of life, 
and Dick says it's a mug's game. Now, which are you to 
believe ? I suppose it must all depend on the bent of the 
people doing it. I read once that the desirability of a 
woman is not measured by her beauty but by the passion 
of her lover. I suppose the hero wanted to kiss girls, and 
Dick doesn't. 

Oh, dear ! how stupid it is to be only able to quote 
other people and say what you have read about all the 
things that matter in life. I do wish I could live instead 
of looking at everything through a mirror like the Lady 
of Shalott. I am like her, am I not, Di ? But when 
she did wake up she got a curse ; I call that jolly unfair. 
I wonder what really happened to her, why did she have 
to die ? Tennyson might have explained. Did she fall 
in love with Sir Lancelot ? I say, Di, the lawyer-man's 
like Sir Lancelot, isn't he ? Big and handsome like I 
always fancy him, only he's got yellow hair it's like the 
wheat Sir Lancelot rode between and he's come riding 
into my life just like he did into hers. What fun ! I 
wonder will he wake up too ; but I don't suppose he'll 
ever find out I'm a girl. I almost wish Dick had told 
him. 



AN EVIL AURA 17 

I like Swinburne, he seems to like women a lot ; his 
song about the bad old women makes me want to cry. 
I think it's only a translation. They are sighing because 
old age is laying his finger on them, because their cheeks 
and breasts are withered, lovers no longer delight to play 
with them ; and when they look at the beautiful girls 
filling their place, they glance down at their wrinkled 
hands and say sadly, " And we were once so sweet, even 
we!' 

It must be terrible to see yourself old and unwanted, to 
see yourself fading day by day until you sink into nothing- 
ness. It hurts me to watch even flowers wilt. I can't bear 
to pick them. I wonder if I'll die like that, and wither 
on my maiden thorn in single blessedness, as Shakespeare 
puts it ? I'm getting sick of Shakespeare. I wonder why 
Swinburne's bad old women are bad ? All the books you 
read seem to have some of them in them, but they never 
quite explain them. I wish I could ask somebody, but 
there's only Dick, and somehow I feel as if I couldn't talk 
to him about it. I wonder why. I never thought of 
anything I couldn't ask Dick about before. 

Never mind, Di, perhaps we'll find out everything 
there is to know some day. 

Last night was glorious ; the sky was as clear as a 
frost could make it. Have you ever tried to count the 
stars, just for fun ? I often do. I was hanging out of 
my window doing it, and all of a sudden I got frightened. 
Have you ever felt evil, Di ? Felt it in the room, creeping 
closer and closer, and folding round you like a blanket 
stifling the air in your nostrils ? I'd got to a hundred and 
forty-four when I felt it first. It must have been there 
some time, because all of a sudden I felt it near me, and I 
nearly died with terror ; my heart stopped beating, and 
then started with such a rush it seemed to choke me, and 
I could feel the beastly thing at my back. I tried to still 
go on counting and ignore it, but oh ! Di, I'm not a coward, 
but I had to face that. I wheeled like a flash, and stood 
pressing my back against the window. My hand went 
c 



i8 PETER PIPER 

up to my throat to steady my breathing ; I tried to pierce 
through the blackness of my room to see where the Thing 
was. I never want to feel so utterly helpless and deserted 
again. It seemed as if there was no one on the earth but 
me and It, and I didn't know what It was or what It 
was going to do to me. 

" I'm not afraid of you," I tried to say, but nothing 
came out ; and then I couldn't bear it, Di, and I suppose 
it was babyish of me I jumped through the window, and 
I almost felt it clutch me as I jumped. For a half -minute 
I lay where I fell, trembling all over, but even outside the 
beastly thing wasn't quite gone, and then I was so unnerved 
I did a thing I'd never done before I prayed like people 
do in books. I stretched up my arms to the stars and 
whispered, " God keep me from evil, God keep me from 
evil, God keep me from evil ; " and I stood like that 
until the beastly thing went away. It went away, Di. 
I wonder if God did hear ? 

I didn't go back to my room that night, I slept under 
the trees. It sounds rather mad and fanciful in the broad 
daylight now, but I don't think it was fancy. You know 
Dad Harcourt used always to say that evil was a real 
thing, a sort of spiritual aura that enfolded people like a 
mist. It felt like that too. 

There was another queer thing, though ; while I was 
talking to God I didn't hear hoof-beats coming along the 
track, but as I stood waiting they came close and a horse- 
man went past me. It was the lawyer-man. I saw his 
yellow hair in the moonlight, and when he galloped away 
the evil went too. Do you suppose it could be anything 
to do with him ? Oh ! it's absurd, isn't it ? He has too 
nice a face. 

What on earth will I do with myself ? Shall I go over 
and see Dick ? But then the lawyer-man is with him, 
so I won't. What an ass I am ! Because I want to see 
him again awfully ; but that's the very reason. 

One man I read about said psychology (whatever that 
is) proves we always do what we want. I don't think he'd 



AN EVIL AURA 19 

have said that if he'd been a woman. I think I'll just 
saddle Nugget and go to the top of Lover's Rise. There's 
a lovely dippy view there, bending in and out over the 
russet heads of the gums down to East Magnet and the 
train that takes you away to Perth and civilisation and 
life. Ta-ta, Di 1 



CHAPTER IV 
Hercules 

EVER peeled spuds, Di ? I think it's a rotten occupation, 
but I suppose it's got to be done. One must eat, and of 
course Fran can't do everything. He cooks beautifully, 
and he has taught me lots too ; he says I am quick at 
learning, and I really can fry exquisite omelets. Fran 
says mine are almost better than his that is a great 
concession. 

But, of course, I can't make all the dishes he can. 
He used to be a chef once in Paris (he has been almost 
everything there is in every place), so I mostly have to 
do the dirty jobs, cutting up beans, stoning fruit when 
we can get it and peeling spuds. To-day I sat outside, 
with the dish between my knees and my shirt-sleeves 
rolled up, peeling spuds. I hate the nasty feel they leave 
on your fingers, but nothing could make me bad-tempered 
on such a heavenly morning. The sun makes all sorts of 
vicious jabs at you when you least expect it ; his favourite 
trick is to leave you in shadow for a while till you think 
you're safe, then through a crack in the leaves to land 
you a beauty in the eye. 

Fran was inside, making a veal pie. I think anyone 
would be quite surprised to see our kitchen. It is beautifully 
clean and neat. Fran looks a dirty old pig, but he is really 
scrupulously particular. He is so wizened-up and small 
and dark-skinned, and one eye's gone you see he can't 
look very nice, but he never starts to cook without washing 
his hands ; and we've got all kinds of saucepans and 
pans and pots, rows of them, and egg-whisks, and all the 
latest cooking appliances. (That's how they put it in 

ao 



HERCULES *i 

the catalogues.) He won't often let me use the egg-whisk, 
though, he says eggs are lighter beaten with a fork. 

Fran and I do all the inside work between us. You 
see, we have no women here. He scarcely does anything 
about the place ; there really doesn't seem anything to 
do beyond feeding the horses and watering them. They 
have to be led to the dam morning and evening for a 
drink, we give it them in a bucket at midday. Father 
mostly does that ; the rest of the time he goes out riding 
or reads. He doesn't keep any sheep or stock like Dick 
does. I don't know where he gets his money from ; he 
can't be a remittance man, because he's an Australian 
I know that much. 

Fran does the housework, and I fill in my time anyhow 
I like. Father never asks any questions, and the less he 
sees of me the better pleased he is. I never used to be 
dull, but somehow the things that used to satisfy me 
don't any more. Once I thought life held nothing nicer 
than to go off on Nugget's back, take a gun and some 
food, and shoot wild turkey or kangaroos ; often I would 
stop out all night ; but I haven't done it now for weeks 
and weeks. 

I read most of the time, but I get sick of it ; I'm jealous 
of the girls in books. I hate Alison Lee now that's the 
girl with the chiffon bows under her chin who's like me. 
I pitched her across the room the other day, I was so 
utterly tired of the way the hero kept adoring her. I 
want someone to adore me. 

Peter, you are an ass ! 

One bit of excitement happened to-day, Di. I've 
been keeping it to the last. Hercules came past our place. 
Hercules, of course, is the lawyer-man. He is beautiful, 
Di, just like a print I once saw of Hercules such a glorious 
muscley look. He is not delicately built enough for Apollo, 
he is force incarnate ; I could just sit and worship him. 

I saw him coming ages off down the track, and I felt 
so excited I kept putting up my hand to my face, which 
streaked it beautifully with potato water ; I must have 



PETER PIPER 

looked a nice object by the time he arrived. I pulled my 
hat down over my eyes so he shouldn't notice me, then I 
pushed it right on the back of my head so he should. 
Then I told myself what an all-fired fool I was, as if he'd 
look at me at all of course, he'd ride straight past. 

He did too, although he slackened his horse to a canter 
and I felt ridiculously disappointed. Why on earth should 
a perfect stranger make me feel like that ? What is the 
matter with me ? I went on peeling the spuds and calling 
myself names. Then he turned his horse and came slowly 
back. He reined up beside me. I went on peeling spuds. 
" Good morning," he said. I nodded. I was shy, but I 
suppose he thought I was sulky. He scratched the mare's 
neck with the whip-handle. " Mr. Piper, isn't it ? " I 
put down the dish and stood up. " He's my father." 
I said. " My name's Peter. Is there anything you 
want ? " And then I looked at him. 

He smiled down, and then I saw his eyes were like 
two bits of the sky on a sunny day. " I was going to ask," 
he said, " if you would mind giving my mare a drink ; the 
poor brute's hot, I'm no light weight, you see." 

He didn't look it, but he swung himself down from 
the saddle lithely enough. I looked at the mare, her sides 
were heaving. 

" You've come a good way," I said. " I'll give her a 
rub down," and I went to the outhouses to get a rag. 

When I came back he had planted himself comfortably 
in the shade. " I say," he remonstrated once, " it's 
awfully good of you, but I ought to be doing that." 

" You're hot yourself," I said curtly. " I'll get you 
a drink presently," and I went on rubbing. 

His gaze wandered to the half-finished dish. " Well, 
I'll have a go at the potatoes," he said. 

" You'll do nothing of the sort," I retorted, " we want 
some for dinner." I was getting over my shyness now. 
so I didn't make my voice so curt and grumpy, and I was 
so amused at the idea of him tackling those spuds with his 
dandy clothes on that I just threw back my head and 



HERCULES *3 

laughed. And at that he started in his seat, a look of 
incredulous surprise came into his eyes for a minute, and 
he made as if to speak, but I ducked my head and 
returned vigorously to the rubbing. I wouldn't talk any 
more. 

While I was doubled up underneath the mare's belly 
I could look at him without him noticing. He was still 
staring at me, or as much of me as he could see, with 
that puzzled, almost suspicious look in his eyes ; it was 
as if a grey cloud had drifted across them. 

He couldn't for a minute imagine I'm a girl, do you 
think, Di ? How could he ? Of course, my laugh but 
even then 

When I brought him the drink I still wouldn't look at 
him. He must have thought I was an uncouth cub. 
But when he'd had it he didn't show any signs of going, 
so I picked up my tin of potatoes, settled it between my 
knees, and started work again. After a while it seemed 
to occur to him that he was rather cool. 

" Do you mind my staying a bit ? " he asked with such 
a lovely smile, the sort that thaws you right out, and 
makes you feel as if a ray of sunshine had hit your heart. 
" You see, I've nothing to do this morning, and Dick's 
out after some of his stock, and I'm tired of riding about 
by myself unless you'll come for a ride, too ? " 

" I've got to finish the spuds," I said, but I did want 
to, awfully. 

" Well, they won't take long." 

" Then I've got eggs to beat up." I hadn't, and I 
don't know why I said it, for I wanted to go. 

He stared at me, and slowly the twinkle began to 
deepen in his eye, and then he laughed a rich, deep- 
throated laugh ; it gurgled and bubbled and roared with 
merriment, like the creek coming down at flood time. 
I would liave been angry if he'd laughed any other way, 
but he checked himself in the middle and got up. " What 
an uncivil brute you must think me," he said, " but 
on my honour I wasn't laughing quite at what you 



24 PETER PIPER 

said ; it looks rather as if you didn't care for my 
acquaintance." 

" Oh ! " I said. " Indeed " 

" Well, will you come riding with me to-morrow morn- 
ing ? It's fearfully dull with no one to talk to but Dick ; 
we always quarrel, you see, always did at college ; some- 
times I'm driven in desperation to flirt with Emma." 

I tried to petrify a smile. The idea of him and old 
Emma ! And then I saw father coming. Somehow I 
felt scared. " Do go," I said quickly ; " here comes 
father." 

I thought it nice of him not to ask a single question. 
" Right," he said, and held out his hand. " Good-bye," 
I gave him mine, and as he held it he looked down at me 
with that calculating sort of flicker in his eyes again ; 
it did look rather small in his. 

" To-morrow, then," he asked, " at the Forks ; what 
time ten ? " 

" Yes," I said quickly. " Go." 

I was peeling spuds when father got round. 



CHAPTER V 
Lover's Rise 

FRAN and I had quite a heated argument this morning. 
He wanted to have a grand baking day, and of course he 
needed me to beat his eggs up and keep the fire going, and 
odd jobs like that ; he nearly fell over when I said I was 
going out. 

" It bake day ! " he expostulated. 

" You can bake to-morrow just as well," I said. 

" You go ride to-morrow just as well," was his retort; 

" I'm going to-day," I said. 

Then Fran lost his temper. I shrugged my shoulders 
till he'd spent all his everyday oaths and then I said : 
" I've fixed the bunks and done the spuds. Good-bye ! " 

" Obstinate devil," Fran said. " One tink you got 
lover." 

" Mind your own business," I said, and walked off to 
the stable. 

It didn't take me long to saddle Nugget, and he was 
as pleased as I. He sidled all over the road pretending 
he was scared to tread on the heavy blue shadows. I felt 
absurdly happy, I just had to sing. My voice is like an 
omelet having a dispute with the frying-pan, but I don't 
mind when there's no one to hear. Nugget is used to it. 
So I sang at the top of my voice : 

" Now this is the lilt of rollicking Kate, 

Who rode on a handsome bay : 
Lovers may come and lovers may go, 
Lovers there be from high and low, 
But little she recks of them all, I trow, 
The rollicking lass of the Lowries." 



-A PETER PIPER 

It's a great song. Alan McTaggart used to sing it 
to me ; he was an old rouse-about over to Dad Harcourt's. 
He's dead now ; he got killed when he was drunk. He was 
nearly always drunk, but there was one quite surprising 
thing about Alan ; when he was too far gone to walk he 
could still run, so when they were kicked out of the pub. 
the other men used to stand him up against the wall, 
he'd sight a tree fifty or a hundred yards off and make 
for it full tilt ; when he reached it he would cling to it till 
he could make out another object to run at, and if he 
missed it he would fall down and lie there till he recovered. 
That's how he would get home. But one night he must have 
run the wrong way, for they found him three days later 
at the bottom of a shaft. Anyway, he was a great hand 
at singing. I wish I could sing. 

I hurried Nugget up like anything not that he minded 
I was so afraid of being late, and when I got near the 
Forks I was afraid of being early and I made him walk. 
I wished after all I had put on a silk shirt, I had only put 
on a clean blue one ; I have some silk ones I wear when 
I want to feel specially clean and on Sundays. Sunday 
makes no difference at our place, but I always go across 
to Dick's to dinner, though I didn't go last Sunday because 
of the lawyer-man. I don't know what Dick thought of 
my not turning up, because I haven't seen him since ; he is 
so busy, I suppose, showing Hercules about. I wanted to 
go, too, but I didn't like to, and though I called myself a 
blithering ass I knew I couldn't. 

And then I turned the corner, and he was there waiting 
for me. He looked like a bronze statue sitting motionless 
on the mare, for he had a brown rig-out on and the sun 
struck red sparks out of the mare. 

I half pulled Nugget up, I felt like turning round and 
bolting for home. I had wondered whether I'd tell him 
I was a girl, but as soon as I saw him I knew I couldn't. 
As soon as he saw me he waved. 

" Hallo ! " he called out gaily ; and I stopped being 
shy. It didn't matter whether he thought me a boy or 



LOVER'S RISE vj 

a girl ; he was dull and wanted someone fresh to talk to, 
and so did I. Let's get what fun out of it we could and 
lump the worry ; so I waved back and called out : " Hallo 
yourself ! " 

" You're late," he said as he drew alongside. " I was 
beginning to be afraid you weren't coming. By the way, 
it only struck me after I left that I never introduced myself. 
My name's Ware Rex Ware." 

" I know," I said thoughtlessly ; " Dick told me." 
And then I bit my lip and glanced at him, but he took 
no notice. 

" I supposed he had," he said, " but still I should have 
mentioned it. What's the best direction to ride in ? " 

I considered a minute. " There are several good rides 
round this way, but I think the very nicest is to follow 
this track a couple of miles and then turn off to the left 
and go to Lover's Rise, and then home round the New 
Star Mines." 

" Lover's Rise ! " his eyes looked quizzically down at me. 
" That's a queer name for such a lonely desert-like place." 

" It was named after a man named Lover," I explained. 
" He died there prospecting. Thirst, you know ; and there's 
a creek within a few hundred yards of it, too, though it 
may have been dry at the time I don't know exactly; 
it was in the early days." 

" Poor beggar ! " Hercules commented. " The men 
out back have pluck. I suppose you know every inch of 
the country round ? " 

Our horses were cantering along together kicking up 
the dust, as gay with the freshness of the morning as 
were we. 

" I guess I do," I answered ; " I've ridden and shot 
over it ever since I was born." 

" You've always lived here, then ? Must be a pretty 
lonely sort of life. There aren't many fellows of your 
age, are there ? " His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. 

" Only Dick," I said frankly ; " I don't know anybody 
else. I've no friends at all." 



28 PETER PIPER 

" Poor kid ! " he said, but so nicely that I didn't mind 
his pity. " I suppose you know Dick pretty well ? " 

" Rather ! You do, too, don't you ? " 

" The same as one knows heaps of chaps. I went to 
college with him ; we were never pals. I had no idea it 
was Bully Harcourt I was coming up to, though. He's 
been very decent to me, I must say. You've never been 
to college ? " 

" No, I haven't ; but how do you know ? " 

" Because you've You might be offended ? " 
The blue eyes fairly bored holes in me. 

" No, I won't. Go on." 

" Well, I suppose you won't like it, but you'd have 
had a lot more things knocked out of you if you had. In 
some ways you're almost " he hesitated a second, and 
then added" girlish ! " 

I tried hard not to, but in spite of myself my mouth 
stretched in a smile. " Am I ? " I said as indifferently 
as I could ; and at that Hercules drew a slow breath that 
sounded like " A ah ! " as if he were satisfied about some- 
thing. 

" You know," he went on, " I've been rather curious 
to meet you ever since the first time I saw you." 

" When was that ? " I asked, turning in my saddle* 
I didn't know he had seen me. 

" One day Dick and I were out, you passed close to us, 
but you didn't notice us. I only saw your face just over 
the top of the scrub, and " again the blue eyes narrowed 
" I thought you were a girl." 

" Did you ? " I kept my eyes down because they 
were dancing. " But what made you still curious ? " 

" Well, Dick was so confoundedly mysterious about 
you ; at least, I couldn't drag any information out of him 
the more questions I asked the more he shut himself up. 
Men usually aren't so dashed close about another man." 
Again the eye battery. 

" Look ! " I cried quickly, " there's a quandong tree ; 
do let's get down, I love them ; " and in half a second 



LOVER'S RISE 29 

I was off Nugget's back, gathering them. He came too, 
and for a while we just ate and ate, and he left me and 
Dick alone. But I wonder why Dick wouldn't tell him 
anything ; perhaps he thought I wouldn't like it. 

We chatted about nothings till, moving round the tree, 
I suddenly stumbled over a root, and should have fallen 
but for his arm which I grabbed ; then, as if acting on 
a sudden impulse, before I'd time to guess at it, he en- 
circled me with his other arm and for a moment held me, 
then his eyes widened out to their widest. 

" You are a girl ! " he cried triumphantly. 

For the third time in my life my face turned to blazing 
fire ; then with all my might I struck him across the 
mouth and flung myself into my saddle. I looked over 
my shoulder and hurled one word at him. " Cad ! " I 
said, and went for home like the wind. How dare he touch 
me ! I'll never forgive him never ! Never 1 Never 1 



CHAPTER VI 
Hercules Peels Spuds 

I WAS sitting outside peeling spuds again when I saw 
him coming. First I thought I'd clear inside and lock the 
door ; the next I thought I wouldn't let him think I was 
afraid, so I just went on peeling away and not taking the 
least notice of anything. Fran was down in the wood- 
shed. I felt him beside me, but I wouldn't look up, not 
even when his shadow fell across the dish. 

" Are you still angry with me, Peter ? " he said. 

I peeled away industriously. 

" I'll go down on my knees if you like ! ** 

Still silence. 

" I'll even knock my forehead on the ground, Eastern 
fashion." 

The picture it conjured up was so ludicrous it was hard 
work to choke down a smile, but I did. Then he was 
silent for a minute or two, and when he spoke again his 
voice was different. 

" You were right to be annoyed," he said gravely ; 
" my action was most discourteous, but you must remember 
you stood on the footing of a boy. I may have had my 
suspicions, but I did not know you were not what you 
seemed to be, and I acted without thinking. I most 
sincerely beg your pardon." 

This time I looked up ; he stood bareheaded and the 
wind ruffled his yellow hair, and somehow the quiet 
courtesy of his manner made me feel an awkward, clumsy, 
ill-behaved fool. 

" Please don't say anything more," I said quickly ; 

30 



HERCULES PEELS SPUDS 31 

" and and I'm sorry I hit you but," I added, "I'd 
do it again." 

The sun came out in his eyes once more. " I'm glad 
you would," he said, and we shook hands. Then we stood 
looking stupidly at each other, and neither of us knew 
what to say next until his glance happened to fall on the 
dish beside me. 

" Do let me help you with the potatoes," he said ; 
" really I can peel them, my sisters used to make me often 
when I was a kid," and without waiting for me to forbid 
him he drew an old kerosene case forward and began. 

When Fran came back from the wood-shed he nearly had 
a fit. 

" Fran," I said hastily, " this is Mr. Ware ; he's staying 
with Dick ; he's a lawyer." 

Fran blinked at him like an opossum. I forgot he has 
a down on lawyers ; he says they cheated him out of some 
money he had left him once. " Lawyer," he said dis- 
paragingly, " one big tief." 

" Then you should be all the more pleased to meet a 
comrade," Hercules laughed, " for " his glance summed 
him shrewdly up from the dirty old cap on the side of his 
grey wire hair to his slightly bowed legs " I should say 
you'd been a pirate in your time yourself." 

Fran was quite won over. " Mebbe," he said oracularly, 
though his broken old teeth showed in a grin, " mebbe," 
and he took the wood inside. 

" He is very old," I said by way of apology ; " it was 
nice of you not to mind." 

" What rot ! " he replied ; " all business is robbery, 
more or less organised, if it comes to that. I should 
say he was a character, myself ; I'd like to get him 
talking." 

" That's no hard matter ; if you like I'll get him to 
tell you about Brazil some day ; he comes from there, 
and according to him there's no place like it. His tales 
beat Sir John Mandeville's ; even the Baron Munchausen 
is nowhere beside him." 



32 PETER PIPER 

He looked at me with a curious expression. " You 
must have read a good lot." 

" I've nothing else to do," I explained. " I often 
spend whole days in Dick's library. Dad Harcourt had 
crowds and crowds of books, he was a B.A. or. something 
of Oxford. He was awfully clever, and he used to tell me 
stories about Greeks, and history and things, when I was 
quite little, and so made me want to read about them." 

He reached for another spud. " Do you go over to 
Harcourt's much ? I've never seen you about." 

" Just when I feel inclined," I said. " I haven't been 
lately because I had brought home all the books I wanted ; 
but I always go to dinner there on Sundays." 

" You didn't last Sunday." 

" No, you were there." 

" Am I such an ogre as all that ? " He threw back 
his head and laughed. 

" No," I said, a little embarrassed, " but I didn't 
know you, and Dick didn't say anything about it, and 

" I see ! " He frowned and made a vicious jab at a 
piece of peel. " Seems to me our friend Dick has rather 
an objection to us meeting each other." 

" You're imagining things," I said ; " why should he ? " 

" Easy enough to find a reason." His eyes made me 
uncomfortable, so I peeled vigorously ; he did too, and 
then he said without looking up, " It's cheek of me to ask 
it, and you needn't answer if you don't want to, but " 
he jabbed at the peel again " are you engaged to Dick ? " 

" Engaged ? " I echoed. 

" Yes, are you going to marry him ? " 

" I know what you mean," I said, " but but 
and I went off into a peal of laughter. " I'm awfully rude," 
I added, contritely, " but oh ! Dick and me. How 
lovely ! Can I tell him ? " 

" As you please, but I don't think he'll like it." He 
looked up, and the sun came out in his eyes. " So it's a 
clear field ; I had no right to ask you, but I can't see why 
he's trying to keep me off the grass." 



HERCULES PEELS SPUDS 33 

" He isn't," I said. " Dick is just my pal why, 
here he is ! " It was only too true ; he was within a 
hundred yards of the house. We hadn't heard the hoof- 
beats on the soft track. I don't know why, but Hercules 
and I looked at each other in sudden dismay. Of course 
there was no reason why we shouldn't be there together, 
only 

Dick sprang down. " Hallo, Peter ! " he cried, 
" thought %d roll over, you why ' he stopped for 
just one fraction of a second, and added a little less 
cordially, " Hallo, Rex ! " 

Hercules went on peeling calmly. " Hallo, old chap ! " 
he rea^nded. " You arrive, with your usual shrewdness, 
at th^nd of the lesson ; " he shook the water from his 
hands. " Miss Peter is teaching me domestic economy." 

Dick smiled, but there was the hint of a frown in his eyes. 
" You look industrious," he said. I knew he was aching 
to ask when we met and how, but Dick is a gentleman.! 
" Oh, well," he said, " I just came along to see how you 
were ; you haven't been across lately." 

" I find out," said Hercules, " I'm the cause. I'm 
sorry I scare your visitors off, Dick." 

" Oh, rot ! " said Dick. " Well, now you know each 
other," his tongue dwelt ironically on the word, " there is 
no excuse for you, Peter." He was fairly trapped. "We'll 
expect you as usual next Sunday." 

" Are you going already ? " I asked. 

" Yes, I didn't mean to stay." He turned to Hercules : 
" I was wondering if I'd strike you anywhere, I'm going 
to take you to Ten Mile Creek this afternoon. We must 
make an early start." 

A sort of shadow flitted across the Greek god's face, 
but he answered pleasantly : " I'd better come with you, 
then. Good-bye, Miss Peter, and thanks for the lesson." 
But as Dick turned away he said quickly and in a low 
voice, " If I can get away any time to-morrow wifl you 
come riding ? " 

I nodded and picked up the dish of water to take it 

D 



34 PETER PIPER 

inside: I watched them from my window till they were 
out of sight. Hercules looked back twice, but they couldn't 
see me. I believe he is right Dick doesn't want him to 
know me. I wonder why ? Well, it's not Dick's affair. 

" Peter," Fran said to me that night, " he big fine 
man ; he you lover ? " 

" Don't be a fool," I said. 

He chuckled. " That why for you no stop home 
bake day, eh, Peter ? No such fool as you t'ink." 

I don't believe he isj 



CHAPTER VII 
In the Firelight 

I STAYED home to-day as I had promised, but when four 
o'clock came I began to think he hadn't been able to get 
away ; it commenced to rain, too, a heavy wetting drizzle, 
so I concluded that finished it. Really I was most ridicu- 
lously disappointed, but it is so lovely to have someone 
new to talk to. Besides, I like looking at beautiful things. 
Anyway it wasn't any use sitting there with my nose glued 
to the window, so I went into the kitchen and started to 
fry some scones for tea. You needn't laugh ; the way 
Fran does them they are nicer than baked ones. I had 
an apron tied round me and my arms all over flour, when 
the door flung open and he came in half-drowned. 

He stood there, his wet clothes shining like tinsel in 
the firelight, staring at me with a comical apologetical 
look. " I came to say," he explained, " I was sorry I 
couldn't come ; and here I am mucking up your kitchen." 

" Never mind the kitchen," I said, " sit down and get 
dry." 

" -I'm not very wet," he said, squinting at himself 
critically. " I'll hang my coat on the chair if you don't 
mind, it hasn't come through to my shirt ; and if you 
lend me an old towel I'll wipe my trousers down it's a 
rough tweed, and the water clings to it more than soaks 
in." 

When we got him dry a bit, he explained that Dick 
had simply taken charge of him all day. " I shouldn't 
be here now," he said, " only a message came in that 
some cows or camels or rabbits or something were sick, 

n 



36 PETER PIPER 

so Dick had to go and see about them, and I came over 
here to explain to you." 

" You needn't have bothered," I said. " I'd have 
understood." 

" I wanted to come," he said, and somehow he made 
me drop my eyes. 

" Well," I said, returning to the scones. " Won't will 
you stay to tea now you're here ? It's too wet to go 
riding." 

" Nothing I should like better," he said promptly, 
" but 

" Father's gone to East Magnet," I supplemented ; 
" he won't be back till nine at the earliest, and if he gets 
drunk, till much later." 

He looked at me with such a queer expression. " You 
poor kid ! " he said again ; " and are there no women 
here at all ? " 

" Only old Emma, and she is so cross I keep out 
of her way as much as I can." 

The blue eyes grew stormy. " It's a shame," he 
declared ; and I looked up and smiled. 

" Thank you," I said. 

He watched me a while. " What beautiful round arms 
you have ! " he said irrelevantly. " By George ! it is 
a shame ; and no friends ! " 

" Only Dick." 

" You're lonelier than I, and I thought I was bad 
enough. I'm an orphan, and I've only two married 
sisters, much older than I ; they brought me up, but of 
course they have families of their own now, and since I 
was big enough to go to college they haven't wasted much 
affection on me. As a matter of fact they're only step- 
sisters ; my father married again late in life, and my 
mothei died when I was about five years old I can only 
just remember her. My father was quite broken up by 
her death, and he soon went too. I don't think his children 
ever quite forgave him his second marriage, so naturally 
they didn't care much about me. I've had a lonely life, 



IN THE FIRELIGHT 37 

too, you see." He looked at me with a whimsical smile: 
" Peter, shall we two lonely ones be pals ? " He held out 
his hand, and, forgetting all about the flour, I laid mine 
in it. He held it and smiled down at me. He's so big. he 
almost stifles me. 

" We're pals then ? " he queried: 

" Yes," I said. 

" Yes "his eyebrows lifted a little" what ? " 

I knew what he meant, but just for mischief I looked 
him in the face and gravely said : " Yes, thank you." 

He burst out laughing, but he wouldn't let go of my 
hand. " Yes, Rex," he said. 

I looked out of the window. " Let go my hand," I 
said quickly ; " here comes Fran." 

" Yes, Rex," he insisted. 

" Yes, Rex," I snatched it away just as Fran came in, 
but he saw the flour on Hercules' hand, and his old face 
wrinkled in a positively wicked grin. 

" You are a bully," I said crossly to him as I rinsed 
out the frying-pan ; but I wasn't really cross. We had 
such fun at tea and after. As it was still too wet to think 
of going out, we all sat round the fire. We couldn't talk 
properly with Fran there, so Rex just held my hand. I 
didn't like it at first, it made me feel as if I had pins 
and needles, but after a bit I did. I hope Fran didn't 
see. 

Then a brilliant idea struck me. " Fran," I said, " tell 
us about Brazil. Mr. Ware's never been there tell him 
about that stone man." 

Fran beamed at us through his spectacles. " You 
wan' hear ? " he demanded of Rex. 

" Very much," he replied. 

Fran leant forward with pleased importance to start 
his pipe afresh, and Rex murmured to me, " In the firelight, 
Peter, your ear looks like a roseleaf blown against your 
cheek." 

I tried to draw my hand away, but he wouldn't let me, 
and then Fran began. The room was dark and eerie because 



38 PETER PIPER 

there was no light but the fire dancing up the walk, and 
somehow it suited his tales. 

" Dis tale I tell you," he said solemnly, " it true. In 
Bre-zil was a man what had famille, big famille, and ten 
nannies. You know what a nanny is ? A bill-goat. 
Yes, and he go out to feed his nannies and he come to little 
spring. Dat," Fran pokes an unoffending brick with his 
stick, " de spring. Not far he come on by flat stone here." 
Fran tapped another brick. " He tell his wife bring his 
dinn' to de flat stone. De stone here jus' lak dis brick 
here 'tween you and me. He sit on de stone eat his dinn' 
an' no can get up. He put up one foot lak dis, try push 
himself, de foot stick, den he tak' he han's to push. De 
han's stick. His wife she fright and try to pull him off. 
No can. She fetch de police, dey no can, de man stick. 
It true," he said earnestly, " de man die and turn to 
stone too ; he dere still, I haf seen ; he sit lak I tell you 
his foot and hands stick ; it near big city in Bre-zil." 

" What big city ? " I demanded. 

" Dey call it San Domingo you know it ? de cit' 
San Domingo." He nodded his head soberly. " I have 
seen." 

Rex and I smiled at each other. 

" What sort of stone would that be, Fran ? " I asked. 

" I not know de Engleesh name," Fran replied seriously ; 
" it haf name in Bre-zil. Dey haf noder rock dere ; it 
haf tree corner, you see one corner, two corner, tree 
corner lak my finger, and it go to point top ; when you 
hit wiz your knuck' it ring lak bell. Dey try to dig it out, 
take it way ; dey no can break it it too hard." 

" What a character ! " Rex whispered. " I suppose 
you've a good many strange animals too in Brazil ? " 

" Oh, lot strange animals in Bre-zil," Fran pursued in 
bland innocence. " One beast dere, oh ! he horrible, he 
haf twenty eyes." 

" A spider," I suggested. 

" Oh, no ! he big, big as small pig, and when he go 
to sleep he shut half his eyes and de oder half dey watch. 



IN THE FIRELIGHT 39 

Yes, and de nex' night dose eye sleep and de oder watch. 
He draw de sleep eye right back in his head. Dey have 
noder queer beast lak small pig dat live at bottom of 
rivers, always under de wat', I haf seen." He wagged 
his old head complacently. 

" Haven't you any mermaids ? " I said mischievously. 

" Mermaid " Fran caught me up at once " dat it ; 
I no remember de English name. I haf seen mermaid. 
You know de hot spring, a fountain come up boiling, all 
steam and mud, dat where de mermaid live." 

" Phew ! " Rex whispered, " cosy winter quarters at 
any rate. Go on." 

" Sometimes," Fran continued, gazing dreamily into 
the past, " de mermaid come up and sit on de bank, an' 
you see her. If you see her before she see you it all right ; 
but," he continued impressively, " if she see you before 
you see her you sick for fourteen days." 

" Oh ! " I said. 

" Yes," Fran repeated, " if she see you first ; if you see 
her first it all right, but if she see you first you sick for 
fourteen days jus' lak I tell you. You no can keep food 
on your stomach, it all come up ; after fourteen days you 
get well again." 

" Have you ever seen one ? " I at length summed up 
courage to inquire. Fran's statements are so positive 
that it requires some self-possession to question them. 

" I have seen dead one, not live." 

" Are they pretty ? " 

" No," Fran replied, thereby destroying a long cherished 
illusion, " dey haf coarse hair lak Indians, not prett' lak 
yours ; but dey live in de hot springs, it true. Dere noder 
strange ting dere," he continued. " I see litt' man, so 
high two-tree feet ; dey live right way in de big fores', 
and on mount'ns de sierras dey call 'em ; dat where I 
born, in de Sierra Grande. No one ever see them, dey 
tin' litt' men and dey haf de foot turn backwards ; dis 
bone," he touched his tibia, " turn backwards. Ver' 
funn'," he reflected ; " an' when dey sleep at night dey 



40 PETER PIPER 

hang themselves on branch of tree. Dey live wid pigs 
in de fores', de wiT pigs, no one ever see them ; but at 
night on de sierra, when it all still, you can hear dem 
cry dey cry, ' Ai ! Ai ! ' all troo de fores'." 

He rested his chin on his bent old knees and seemed 
sunk in the reflections of the past. 

Rex and I sat very still, but he kept his eyes on me all 
the time. He has promised to come riding with me again 
to-niorrow if he can get away from Dick. It was lucky 
father came home late, because we forgot all about the 
time; but he was drunk I thought he would be. 



CHAPTER VIII 
Fairy Tales 

How funny it is to think that a week ago I hadn't even 
spoken to Rex, and now it seems as we'd known each 
othrr all our lives. He is a lovely pal. Of course there's 
nothing like an old pal ; I'm no turncoat, but all the 
same Dick has never tried to please me as Rex does. He'll 
do anything at all I like. He even played fairy tales with 
me to-day ; Dick never would. 

I didn't like to tell him at first when he asked me how 
I amused myself, but he sort of wormed it out of me some- 
how. I suppose it's because he's a lawyer, and it's his 
business to get people to say things they don't want to. 

" Rex," I said, we were sitting in the shade resting 
half-way after our ride, " Rex, what do lawyers do ? " 

" People," he answered with a 'twinkle in his eye, 
" the same as other business men." 

" No, but seriously," I pouted. 

" Anything in the legal line that brings in shekels," 
he replied, " at least, our firm does. If anyone stumbled 
in here and saw you lying stretched out like that, Peter, 
they would think they had come upon Artemis." 

" Why ? " I said. 

" I don't know. I think she must have been like you, 
so boyish and sh'm, and with such frank grey eyes that 
know nothing of love." 

" How do you know I don't ? " I retorted. 

" Well, do you ? I don't believe you can feel." 

I wonder why his eyes make me wriggle. 

" What made you want to be a lawyer ? " I asked. 

Rex followed my lead at once, he is always courteous, 
4* 



42 PETER PIPER 

with a ceremonious old-fashioned sort of courtesy that 
seems so out of place on top of his teasing. He teases 
awfully, but, as he says, pals ought to be able to say 
anything to each other. 

" My father was one, and his reputation helps me a 
bit ; besides, I'm ambitious." His jaw set in that un- 
pleasant sort of way like when I first saw him from the 
shelter of the trees. " I want to make money, and I want 
to make a name for myself." Amusement made his eyes 
Like running water. " My demands are rather modest, 
don't you think ? " 

" And how will you do it ? " I asked. 

" I wish I knew the answer myself," he laughed. 
" Work, I suppose, and perhaps marry a girl with money or 
influence like the famous banister in Pinafore." 

" I don't know him," I said disparagingly ; " but 
would you marry a girl for her money ? " 

" Why not ? " he shrugged his shoulders. " You've 
been brought up on novels I see ; marriage is a business 
proposition." 

" But but " I said, " won't you wouldn't you like 
to love a woman ? " 

He seemed just tickled to death. 

" I would," he agreed. " But that doesn't say I'd 
marry her. Some say marriage and love aren't compatible." 

" Oh ! " I said ; then the laughter in his face reassured 
me. " You're just teasing me," I said. 

" Perhaps I am," he agreed. " You see, I never met 
a girl with a perfect mouth before, and I'm sure that's 
the only sort of girl I could love." 

" You do talk rubbish," I said, crushing the dead 
gum leaves in my palms. " I believe fairy tales would 
be more sensible than you." 

And that's how it all came out. It was mainly because 
I had always been so lonely and I've had to play games 
by myself, so I used to act fairy tales. I've got a lovely 
collection of them called the " Blue Fairy Tale Book " 
Dad Harcourt gave me when I was little. The book is 



FAIRY TALES 43 

blue, all covered with gold stars, and it has an old witch 
riding on a broomstick on the cover. I take it with me 
nearly everywhere I go, I love them so. I suppose I'm 
really too big to play games, but there's nothing else to 
fill in the time with ; besides, I invent all new conversations 
not in the book, I make the loveliest sort of dialogues 
between the prince and the princesses. Of course I have 
to be all the characters myself, and it was so lovely to have 
Rex to help me. 

I didn't like to let him in at first ; I thought he'd laugh, 
but he didn't. He said he adored make-believe, he'd 
never properly grown up himself. He said there were 
hundreds of people like us, but the way they satisfied their 
longing to pretend to be something else to what they 
were was by going in for amateur theatricals. " It's 
only a grown-up way of carrying on ' make-believe,' ' 
he said, " and not nearly as clever as the children's, because 
they only say words set down for them by someone else. 
Now, I rather pride myself on my improvising. You give 
me a trial, Peter ; I'll make a splendid prince." 

So finally I did, and oh, it was forty times as nice as 
playing it by myself. First we played Cinderella, and when 
it came to the ball he took my hand and we zigzagged up 
and down in a sort of dance like they have in the picture, 
and he said things about my little glass slippers I'd never 
have thought of myself. Then we played the Sleeping 
Beauty, and he had to wake me with a kiss. I forgot 
that when we began to play, but it was only my forehead, 
and as it was all pretence it didn't matter, Di, do you think ? 
He was right though, he can invent beautifully. When 
he stood looking at me while I lay asleep, he said the 
loveliest things I'd ever heard ; and his voice is so rich, 
too, it made them sound lovelier than they do just telling 
you. He said my hair was like a thousand secrets of 
love curled jealously close to my head, my eyelids were the 
veil of Isis covering beauty too radiant for human eyes to 
bear, that my neck was a satin cushion crying out for a 
lover's head to rest upon it, and my chin the epitome 



44 PETER PIPER 

of a caress. I forget what else, but I never knew people 
could think of all the things he did. 

Oh, Di, I shall miss him when he goes away. He ought 
to have gone before, he says, for his business is practically 
concluded, but Dick has told him to stay as long as he 
likes. 

I asked him whatever was he staying for in such a dull 
place, but he only laughed and wouldn't tell me. He 
said a few days' holiday wouldn't hurt him or his firm 
either. His partners could look after affairs quite well. 
" We're not that rushed with business yet, you know," he 
said, " worse luck ! " 

To-morrow I go to dinner at Dick's. 



CHAPTER IX 
What They Mean by Love 

I FELT quite excited on Sunday morning ; I suppose it 
was partly because I hadn't been to Dick's for such a 
long while, and partly because Rex was going to be there, 
too, and somehow I felt Dick didn't like me being with him 
I can't imagine why. Surely if he's good enough to be 
Dick's friend he's good enough for me ? It isn't even as 
if Dick and I were more than pals, and he could be jealous 
like men in books, but all the same I feel he's trying to keep 
Rex and me apart. 

I've half a mind to tell him to mind his own business. 
I put on one of my white silk shirts and a wide blue tie 
I do love the feel of silk against my skin and my best 
suit, which is grey, with long-cloth leggings instead of my 
everyday leather ones. I wetted my head and tried to 
brush some of that beastly niggery curl out of it, but it 
was no go. 

Fran had saddled Nugget, and was holding him for me 
when I came out. The villain was prancing and fretting, 
and if Fran took his attention off him for a second he'd 
give him a sudden jab with his nose trying to push him 
over. Fran hates Nugget ; he says he's a vicious devil 
and will break my neck for me one day. But he is quiet 
enough with me. I think he knows Fran is afraid of 
him. 

I got up and sat still for a minute. I suddenly remem- 
bered I'd forgotten to water my Kennedya, and I wanted 
to tell Fran to do it ; but Nugget was impatient and 
fidgeted away, and the saddle didn't feel safe. 

" Quiet, Nugget ! " I ordered sharply. " Fran, the 

45 



46 PETER PIPER 

saddle's too loose, haul the girth a hole tighter." He 
attempted to, but the brute side-stepped and danced and 
finally, when Fran laid a hand on him, kicled. That was 
quite enough ; I will have animals obey ; he must be 
taught a lesson. 

" Quiet ! " I ordered again, and laid my hand on his 
neck. Fran approached gingerly, and Nugget kicked 
again. I lashed him sharply. He bucked. Then I got 
mad. " Would you ?" I said, and gave him two or 
three smart cuts. 

This was ah 1 my lord needed ; in two seconds he was 
doing fancy curves with his heels somewhere over the 
front of his ears. Nugget was a fine buckjumper when 
he was first broken in, but it's not for nothing I've ridden 
since a kid, half-broken colts too, though they never would 
actually let me break them in. 

For a few minutes it took all my time to stick on; 
once I thought he had unseated me ; but after that I 
gave him the hammering of his life, and when I drew 
him up again exactly in the spot we started from, there 
wasn't a more disgusted, quieter animal in W.A. 

" You try any of your fancy tricks again," I said 
savagely, for it annoyed me to have him play up like that 
in front of Fran ; I always say he is easy to manage, 
and Fran must have seen the time I all but went off. 
Nugget didn't show any more desire to, he just stood 
there trembling and sweating from his efforts. I ran 
my fingers over his shoulder and held up the beads of sweat. 

" Look at that," I said disgustedly. " Here I wanted 
to start out looking decent, and you'd think he'd done 
twenty miles. What do you mean by it, you you stupid 
cow, you ? " A little shudder ran all over Nugget, for 
he hates me to scold him, but Fran interposed* 

" I wipe him down again, Peter." 

Nugget let him peacefully enough this time; Several 
times while he was rubbing Fran looked at me. 

" I no like to be your enemy, Peter*" 

" Why, Fran ? " 



WHAT THEY MEAN BY LOVE 47 

" You be very how they say ? savage ; you never 
forgive." 

" I suppose you mean vindictive," I said. 

" Oh, I dunno ! I no like to see you face that way." 
He rubbed on vigorously. " You smile you face meant 
for smiles, Peter," the sly old rascal wheedled. " I think 
you handsomest girl I ever see in my life." 

" Rats ! " I said, but I had to laugh. 

He smiled, too, at the success of his ruse. " That why 
I no like you ride this old devil. Some day he kill you, 
and you too handsome to have harm happen, Peter. I 
old man, and I smell harm. Take care." 

But I only laughed. " Don't be an old croaker," I 
said. " What harm could come to me up here, such a 
glorious morning, too ? So-long ; don't forget the 
Kennedya. Come on, Nugget, shake it up ! " 

And he did. We had a gorgeous gallop ; we raced 
our shadows all the way, and he snorted with joy, and I 
laughed when the goannas fled out of our path up the 
blue-streaked gums, and the little lizards scuttled away 
under the dry leaves like the wind blowing on them. He 
behaved very nicely ; only once he shied and swerved 
when a bob-tailed lizard lying like a piece of bark in the 
middle of the road opened its blue-and-yellow mouth 
and spat at him. It even startled me. I suppose if I 
were an old Greek I'd have called it an omen. 

There's nothing like a gallop in the morning, everything 
smells so clean, and the sky was that drowsy blue that 
makes small white clouds fall asleep in it. 

Rex wanted to ride over and meet me but I wouldn't 
let him ; I didn't think Dick would like it. 

I wonder if I really am as beautiful as Fran thinks, 
but then he's only got one eye and it's half blind. 

Dinner was rather awkward ; it was all Dick's fault 
too, but gradually he thawed, and he and Rex swapped 
yarns of their college days, never taking the least bit of 
notice of me. The minute Rex spoke to me, Dick would 
get disapproving again. He simply wouldn't leave us 



4 PETER PIPER 

alone for a minute. I don't know why he acts like an 
old dog in the manger, for he doesn't want to talk to me 
himself he's had years to do it in but he won't let 
Rex. 

But after tea it was beautiful. We had tea fairly 
early, and Emma had made some awfully nice cakes. 
She glared at me nearly all the time. She doesn't like 
me ; she thinks it awful a girl of my age trolloping round 
in men's clothes, she said so one day, and other things 
that I didn't understand. As if it was my fault it's 
father's. I wouldn't know how to put on girls' things, 
anyway. 

But I wonder if Rex thinks it's not nice of me ? He 
said he didn't when I asked him. He said he'd seen the 
prettiest girls in Adelaide in their silk and chiffon ball- 
dresses, and they were not half as lovely as I in my old 
blue shirt.- 

But, of course, he only said that because we are pals. 
I wish I could dress beautifully like a girl, he might think 
me nicer then, but he says he couldn't. But how can he 
care for me after all the lovely girls he must have known 
over there ? He can't ; he only thinks he does, but he 
says I'm wrong, and I can't help hoping I am. 

When we went into the library it was just the beginning 
of evening. You know that soft, still time when it is 
yet light, but all the witchery of evening is beginning 
to float like a grey film into the air. Rex said as I sat 
down in one corner and Dick in another : " Shall I sing 
to you ? " 

" Do, old chap," Dick said, thawing at once. Dick 
adores music ; besides, while he was singing he couldn't 
talk to me. But he still waited for me to speak. " Please 
do," I said stiffly ; " we should all be very pleased." 

He opened the piano then. Dad Harcourt used to play ; 
he tried to teach me awhile, but as I could never conquer 
scales he had to give it up. He said he supposed beauty 
was a talent in itself, and he couldn't expect much else 
from me. Dick told me Rex had tuned the piano since 



WHAT THEY MEAN BY LOVE 49 

he came up, and that he could sing a bit, but oh ! I never 
knew what singing meant before. I've never heard anyone 
but Dad Harcourt and Alan McTaggart, and sometimes 
at East Magnet as 1 went past the inn. I've heard a girl 
screeching inside. 

But Rex's singing ! 

It was like thunder, and moonlight, and dreams come 
true. It was birds in the early morning and the Kennedya 
at my window drinking in great gulps of the sun my heart 
seemed to get too big for my ribs and I wanted to fling 
myself face down on the carpet before him. Now I know 
why Fran says they sing all the time in heaven. 

He sang for a long time, one thing after another, and 
in between he played dreamy weird little bits of music 
that made you feel as if the rain had got down your collar. 
Once he turned round and said : " Am I boring you ? " 

I couldn't say a word, but Dick said, " My dear chap ! 
Go on till you're tired, we never will be. Why ever didn't 
you take up singing as a profession ? " 

Rex didn't take any notice ; he began another soft 
little humming on the keys like a bee, and said : " This is 
a gipsy song." These are the words. You could hear 
every syllable distinctly, they seemed to drop off his lips 
like honey : 

" You are my darling, 
You are my soul, 

Light of my life, my sun, my goaL 
You are my being, 
My delight, 
Star of my darkest night." 

Then the music changed to silver trumpets. 

" Sun of my soul, 
Sweetheart of my heart, 
Hark how the birds 
Sing in your praise ! 
Hark how the breezes 
Wandering by 
Whisper, I love you always I " 



50 PETER PIPER 

Here Emma called Dick out of the room for something. 
It had grown dark now ; I could hardly see Rex, he was 
just a big blur against the piano, and his face when he 
turned it to me a pale glimmer. Then he began again 
very softly, as if he were whispering in my ear, the first 

verse : 

" You are my darling, 
You are my soul, " 

He seemed as if he were drawing my soul out of me. 
Everything hushed suddenly to listen. I believe some- 
times the earth is really curious. 

my delight, 



Star of my darkest night." 

Even the whisper had died, and we just sat and looked 
at each other. We couldn't see, and he never moved off 
the stool, but I felt him so close to me that I was stifled, 
and I put up my hand as if to push him away. 

And then Dick came in with a blaze of light. " That 
fool McAndrews," he said savagely ; " I've got to go again. 
I'd discharge the idiot if it wasn't that I'll be out of the 
place in a few weeks' time ; it's hardly worth bothering 
with a new one. I'm sorry, Peter, I won't be able to 
ride home with you. Do you mind going alone or," 
he put as much cordiality into his voice as he could, 
" perhaps Rex will go with you." 

He saw us off, and that is how Rex and I came to be 
going home alone together in the dark. There was no 
moon, and the stars even seemed to have a pressing engage- 
ment elsewhere. Our horses slowed down to a walk, and 
he took my hand like he did by the fire. But this was 
different. I didn't say anything because I couldn't. 

Then he shifted my hand to his left and put his arm 
round my shoulders. The bridles were hanging loose on 
the horses' necks but they paced along as if they knew 
they mustn't interfere. I couldn't look at him, and I 
couldn't move truly, Di ! if he had been going to kill 



WHAT THEY MEAN BY LOVE 51 

me. I felt like cold lead, and yet I burnt. Then with 
his hand he slowly turned my chin round towards him, 
and pressed his lips full on mine. 

He kept them there until I couldn't bear it, it hurt 
so ; and yet and yet I loved it. 

Oh, Di ! he has taken my soul. What I told you in 
jest has come true. My Lancelot has come and I am 
awake. I know now why I was born. It was just to love 
him and to love him. 

Di, I can't wait till to-morrow to see him again. It is 
not me who sits here writing, Di, it's not Peter Piper, 
it's only an empty casket of flesh, my soul is with him 
in the hollow of his hand, his to make or mar. I don't 
care so long as it pleases him, for he has given it to me. 

Now I know what they mean by love. 

Oh, Di 1 If he had never come 1 



CHAPTER X 
Too Happy to Live 

Di, I'm too happy to live. Rex came over yesterday and 
to-day but I can't explain it to you, it's no use trying. 
You must just believe there's nothing like it in the world. 
I only live when he is here, the rest of the time I go about 
in a dream waiting. How can he love me ? I can't 
believe it yet, it's too incredible after all the girls he must 
have known real proper girls to give his heart to me. 

I can't write, Di ; I'm living now, and I've only time 
for that. I wonder what Dick will say when he knows. 
He is still so queer about Rex and me, it makes it very 
hard for us to meet. Once he said to me rather awkwardly : 

" Look here, Peter. I know you think I'm butting in 
where it's none of my business, but you've got no one to 
look after you, and and " he got red and fidgeted. 
" Look here, Peter, Rex is well, women don't count 
much to him." 

I just blazed at Dick. " And that's how you speak 
of your guests behind their backs ! " I said cuttingly. 

Dick flushed again. " Hang it all, Peter," he said, 
" that's not fair. You don't know anything about life. 
I like Rex, he's all right with men, but you're a woman." 

And at that a little bubble of joy welled up in my 
heart, and I forgot all about Dick. " Thank God I am," 
I murmured under my breath. Dick stared at me, and 
then frowned and walked away, but he tries to keep us 
apart more than ever. But, of course, he doesn't know 
Rex loves me. How surprised he will be. He has got 
to go to Perth to-morrow on business ; he got a telegram 
to-day, and will be away a whole week. Rex and I are 
just living on the thought of it. We are going to ride in 
with him to East Magnet to-morrow to see him off by the 
train. Di, life is glorious ! 

5* 



CHAPTER XI 
Off the Chain 

WHEN the train puffed away carrying Dick inside, Rex 
and I turned and grinned at each other. We felt as if 
we'd been given a holiday, that's what Rex said. " Whoop ! 
there goes Papa Bulldog ; and now we've got a whole week 
off the chain, what will we do with it ? " 

" Be mad," I said, " quite, quite mad. What shall we 
do first ? " 

" Come and buy chocolates. I suppose you can get 
them at the store ? " 

" Yes, let's. How Mason's girl will stare at you ! 
But do let us go home soon, people are looking at us so 
hard." 

" That's at Piper's pretty boy," he teased. 

" Not they, it's at you." 

" The most adorable thing about you, Peter," he 
said, " is that you don't know how adorable you are." 

" Don't make fun of me," I said pettishly. 

" You exquisite baby," he laughed. 

" Stop," I said, with my cheeks on fire, " if you look 
at me like that in the township streets people will think 
you're mad." 

" I am when I'm with you," he retorted. 

We were sparring so hard we forgot all about the 
chocolates. We thought of it half-way home. 

" I'll get up early to-morrow morning and go in and 
get them for you," he promised, " before I meet you." 

" Oh, but," I objected, " it's such a long ride, and 
they're not that important." 

" Anything you want is important, so I shall go." 
53 



54 PETER PIPER 

I never had people want to do things for me before. 

" But we must do something special with our week," 
I said. " What shall we play at ? " 

We weighed the question seriously, that is the loveliest 
thing about Rex, he can make believe so beautifully. Now, 
Dick can't a bit ; I think he would even play with dolls 
if I asked him, but, of course, I haven't any, and fairy 
tales and adventures are more fun. " Shall we play 
Cinderella again ? " I said doubtfully, " or 

" I have it ! " he cried, " the very thing. We're out 
in the bush all day ; it shall be the Forest of Arden. I 
shall be Orlando, and you my Rosalind. Rosalind was 
dressed as a boy, you know why, it's perfect ! " 

" But we haven't got a Celia," I objected. 

" Never mind, she's gone down in the train with Oliver 
that's Dick." 

" And we simply must have Touchstone ; who's going 
to be Touchstone ? It couldn't be Arden without him, 
Rex ! " 

" That is a difficulty. I can't be him, too, can I ? 
Got it again ! What wouldn't you give for brains like 
mine, Peter ? Fran is Touchstone, he's got quite enough 
wit." 

" Lovely ! " I screamed, getting excited ; " but, oh ! 
Rex, what shall we do with father ? " 

The actor-manager considered the question deeply. 
" He can be the Duke because he appears so little," he 
decided ; "or how about the melancholy Jaques ? Can't 
you just fancy him declaiming ' All the world's a stage ' ? " 

" Or coming in to me, after telling Fran to unsaddle 
his horse, and saying, ' A fool, a fool ! I met a fool i' 
the forest. Motley's the only wear,' " I suggested, " though 
he always calls Fran a fool." 

We giggled so inanely the horses caught the mad spirit 
of the hour and bolted off with us. Our giggles grew to 
uproarious laughter as we thought of the morrow. " On 
the whole," I said, as I wiped my eyes with my shirt-sleeve, 
" I think father had better be the Duke." 



OFF THE CHAIN 55 

" I don't believe he's got enough humour for Jaques," 
the actor-manager agreed. " Where shall we begin ? " 

" In the middle, of course ; everything in the world 
begins in the middle, then you start hunting for the cause 
of it and guess at the finish. That's excitement." 

He smiled down at me. " Sometimes you really are 
a woman," he said. 

I tossed my head. " ' Dost thou think because I am 
caparisoned like a man, I have a doublet and hose in my 
disposition ? ' " 

" I bar that," Rex declared with emphasis. " It will 
be strictly against the rules of the game to fire cold slabs 
of Shakespeare at each other. This is to be a new Arden, 
our very own, and we've got to invent all our own dialogue. 
Don't you think we can find enough to say to each other 
without borrowing other people's words ? " 

" Very well, then," I threatened, " you must make 
up some new poetry for Rosalind." 

" I will, only my Rosalind is called Peter. Why, it's 
easy 

' Have you seen my darling Peter ? 
Than her there is no one sweeter, 
Fairer, daintier, or neater, 
In the kitchen you can't beat her ; 
Faith, my lips just ache to greet her. 
I can't wait till next I meet her ; 
If by chance you ' " 

" Stop, stop ! " I cried. " ' This is the very false 
gallop of verses.' ' 

" There you go again ! " he said, aggrieved. " And 
anyway you've no business to talk Touchstone's lines. 
Tell you what, the penalty for quoting is a kiss." 

" Is it ? " I retorted. 

" Yes, it is, and you owe me two already. I'm going 
to have them." 

" Are you ? " I said again, and I dug my heels into 
Nugget. 



56 PETER PIPER 

" You do ask pointless questions," he laughed as he 
drew abreast of me. " I said I was." 

He did too. 

Oh, Di ! I wish you could see him, he is like a god. 
I wish I were a diamond so that he would carry me on his 
breast, or a gold band that I might bind myself about his 
ringer. If I could be the bread he eats, the water he 
drinks, so that I were his, his for ever ! That that sounds 
unmaidenly almost, but there's no one but the stars and 
you. 

And Arden starts to-morrow ! 

Do you think us a couple of babies, Di ? But oh ! 
I never knew one could be so happy. 



CHAPTER XII 
The Forest of Arden 

OH, Di, it was a lark to-day the first morning in Arden, 
you know. I didn't tell you where it was, did I ? It's 
just behind Lover's Rise. There's a big dippy hollow 
on the left that's somewhat cleared, and the grass grows 
thickly there ; just now it was green as green, and lots 
of flowers poked out silky faces as if they were saying : 
" Well, here we are, blast it, and we might just as well 
make the best of it." Oh, I forgot, I mustn't say, " blast 
it " any more ; Rex doesn't like it when I swear. At 
least, I don't call that swearing, but he does ; but he should 
just hear father. 

A creek runs through it too, and it wasn't dry yet, 
so it was all as fresh and Ardenish as could be. The 
sun had turned on full pressure, and the birds were twitter- 
ing in the gums ; it is mating-time, and it was too early 
to have to bother about snakes. Rex had printed a huge 
card 

YE FOREST OF ARDEN 

and he insisted on tying it to one of the gums at the entrance 
to the hollow. And we kept laughing just at nothing at 
all the most idiotic remarks, Di, they seem hardly worth 
repeating, and yet they were perfect at the time. But 
when two people feel with each other it does not matter 
what their lips say, it is each other's hearts they hear 
beneath the words. 

The purple Kennedya fairly rioted there. I made a 
garland of it and hung it round his neck ; and then we 

57 



58 PETER PIPER 

found a big patch studded with dandelions, it looked as 
if there had been a shower of stars. 

" My throne," Rex said promptly, " purple and gold, 
the royal colours. Peter, I shan't be Orlando now, I 
shall be a king. You shall have a royal lover." 

" I shan't," I declared. " I'm Rosalind, and I won't 
have any lover but Orlando, and if he isn't here ' I'll go 
sigh till he come.' " 

" Every quote a kiss, remember ! " Rex said oracularly. 

He had to chase me for nearly five minutes round the 
trees to get it though. 

" I believe you quote on purpose," he said mischievously, 
as we sat trying to get our breath back. It took us another 
five minutes to make that up. 

" All right, Peter Rosalind," he said, " see if I don't 
pay you out, not letting your lover be a king." 

I stared hard at my boots for a minute, and then I 
looked at him. " My lover is a king," I said softly, and 
then I looked at my boots again. 

" Peter, don't say things like that," Rex begged in a 
low voice ; " you shame me." And in a queer, passion- 
ately respectful sort of way he lifted my hand and kissed 
my wrist. 

Then with one of his sudden changes of mood he laughed 
merrily. " We mustn't get too serious in Arden, must 
we ? It's all make-believe." 

" Everything ? " I said. 

" Everything," he repeated firmly ; and then the 
gurgle crept into his voice again : " Isn't it hard to make- 
believe we care, Peter ? " 

" I believe it is only make-believe with you," I said 
to tease him. 

But to my surprise the sky of his eyes clouded over, 
and he said sombrely : "I wish to God it were ; " then 
he laughed again, and the cloud vanished as quickly as 
it had come. " But you are going to cure me. Come, 
make a start, Peter-Rosalind-Ganymede, ' laugh like a 
hyaena for I am disposed to be sad.' ' 



THE FOREST OF ARDEN 59 

" Who's quoting now ? " I reminded him. 
" So I was ; never mind, I'll pay the penalty." 
" No you won't," I protested, " it's not fair." 
" Why not ? That's what we arranged." 

" Not me, it was only you, and " Rex's face came 

closer, " besides, Orlando never kissed Ganymede." 
" More fool he," said Rex. 

" But," I said, when I had succeeded in pushing him 
away and sitting up straight, " what shall we do now ? 
Shall we go shoot , hunting ? " I corrected. 

" Certainly not ; one never does anything but make love 
in the forest of Arden." 

" Yes they do ; Orlando killed a lioness and a snake." 
" And so will I, if they turn up. Well, suppose I sing 
to you ? " 

" Yes, do ; sing ' Blow, blow, thou ' No, that's 

too noisy ; sing ' It was a lover.' ' 

He lay flat on his back with his knees drawn up and 
his hands clasped behind his head, and the liquid notes 
poured out ; the birds seemed to hush their squabbles to 
listen. I leant up against a tree trunk and gazed down 
at him ; it seemed like heaven to be alone there by our 
two selves. 

" It was a lover and his lass, 

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, 
That o'er the green corn-field did pass, 

In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, 
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding; 
Sweet lovers love the spring." 

Every note came like melted moonlight. 

" Between the acres of the rye, 

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino." 

He broke off abruptly. " I've got a glorious idea. 
Let's go paddling in the creek. We'll be Paul and Virginia 
now." 

" What fun ! " I said ; so we took off our boots and 
rolled our trousers up to our knees and waded in. It was 



60 PETER PIPER 

glorious ; the water was clear as clear, and in places it 
simply rushed along, we could hardly keep our balance on 
the slippery stones, and some of them were so sharp. And 
every now and then through the foliage the sun seemed 
to drop sovereigns in the water. 

" Rex," I said in one place where the cold current 
swirled round my ankles, " it's trying to cut my feet off." 
Then we came to a long shallow where the water slipped 
over a tray of gravel and quartz ; little green and red and 
grey-blue bits of stone glistened among the brown gravel, 
the quartz looked pure as marble, some of it rosy at the 
edges, some of it streaked with lines of gold. Rex stooped 
and picked up one piece ; it dripped diamonds on the 
surface of the water that widened out into winking ripples. 

" This looks like paying stuff," he said, squinting at it. 

" It's good stone," I agreed, " but costs too much to 
crush. It comes from a shaft round the bend they opened 
last year, but they gave it up. Rex, do look at the sun- 
shine on the water, it is making rings on the creek bed 
and trying to slip them on to my toes. I shall be like 
the Lady of Banbury Cross soon oh ! there's one on my 
big toe now ; do look ! " 

I laughed with the joy of it, and Rex watched me with 
his face growing soft. 

" You adorable baby," he said at last, with something 
between a laugh and a sigh ; and it sounds silly to tell 
you, Di but he picked me up and kissed my wet feet. 

He is so gloriously strong. 



CHAPTER XIII 
From Jest to Earnest 

ARDEN gets lovelier and lovelier. But perhaps it's because 
we've got the springtime in our hearts. Is there anything 
more beautiful than to be young and in love ? How 
stupid and tame books sound after the real thing. 1 
wondered what this love was they talked about, but I 
guess it isn't because the writers don't know, but because 
there are no words to tell it with. It is a burning flame 
in your breast, and flowers opening out in the sunshine, 
and the hard cold earth of your everyday self bursting 
away as when the mushrooms push their heads up ; it 
is sweetness so sweet it is almost bitter ; it is a hothouse 
where all the finest possibilities in you expand it is 
oh, Di, I can't explain any more than the books can. 
You've got to feel it to understand. I love him ! I love 
him ! Why can't I tell you what those words mean ? 

Even heaven must be an anti-climax after this. 

What do you think we did to-day, Di ? We fished : 
we sat patiently holding our rods in the creek bed till 
I nearly went to sleep. Rex yawned awfully, too, but I 
made him sit quite a foot away from me. I said we would 
be real proper fishermen; of course we caught no fish 
there are none in the creek to catch but that only mace 
us the more real. 

You see we take it in turns to choose the games, and 
as Rex always plumps for playing lovers I just have to 
choose something sensible. But his turn came again before 
sunset, and we sat hand in hand isn't it queer what a 
lot it is even to feel another person's fingers across your 
own ? and we watched the sun sliding down the sky like 

61 



62 PETER PIPER 

a Chinese lantern on a string, casting pink and yellow lights. 
Half the time we don't want to talk, it's just enough to 
be with each other. I couldn't have understood that once. 
Then I broke the silence. 

" You know, Rex," I said, " you've never told me yet 
why you love me." 

" But there aren't any whys in love," he said. " You 
are you and I am I, and that's all there is to it. One 
can't reason or fight against a thing like this." His eyes 
took on that inside look again as if he were turning them 
back on his own soul. " Don't I know it ! " 

" Well, anyway," I coaxed, leaning back on his shoulder 
and running lazy fingers through his hair, " tell me how 
nice I am." 

"I'm telling you that all the day long with every 
glance." 

" Yes, but not with your lips. Do, just for once. 
Pretend I'm Jaques Orlando tells him about his sweet- 
heart ; and then you shall be Celia, and I'll tell you what I 
think of mine." 

" What a woman you are ! " he mused. 

" And yet you always call me a baby." 

" That's the eternal puzzlement of you. I never know 
which I'm talking to. Sometimes I make up my mind 
to say things to the woman, and then they stop on the tip 
of my tongue, for you look up with those grey eyes of 
yours, and " he paused. 

" And ? " I insisted. 

His gaze was fixed stubbornly on the fading lantern, 
and for a moment he did not answer, then he said in a 
low tone, " They are not fit for the baby to hear." 

At minutes 1 feel there's a cloud between me and Rex, 
but I cannot understand what it is. Sometimes when we 
are happiest he will get up abruptly and suggest doing 
something else, and lots of funny things like that, but when 
I ask him what is the matter he just says nothing. And 
one day when we were lying in the grass after lunch I 
got so drowsy, and all of a sudden I felt his arm tremble 



FROM JEST TO EARNEST 63 

under my head, and he said in a sharp sort of voice : " Don't 
go to sleep, my arm aches ; let's fish." 

But his arm never aches. Had I done anything wrong, 
or what ailed him ? Of course he is always Rex, and it 
sounds disloyal to say it, but sometimes he is a nicer Rex 
than others. Sometimes I don't like the way he looks 
at me. But I shouldn't say things like that, Di ; it's 
my fault, of course ; I'm not used to men. 

And then he turned to me with that rare smile of his, 
" And so, good Monsieur Jaques, you want to know what 
she is like, this lady of mine ? " 

" Nay, then," I pouted, " an't please you to speak 
of her, speak on ; an't please you not, do the other thing." 

" First, then, good Monsieur Jaques, you shall have an 
inventory of her personal appearance." 

" Ripping ! " I said, hugging my knees up and resting 
my chin on them, my pet position. " Go on." 

" She is just tall enough to lean comfortably in the 
hollow of my arm ; she is slim and graceful as a young 
sapling, and as strong and clean ; her cheeks are like 
running blood veiled in crystal and other women's hands are 
less fair than her naked feet ; her eyes are like the dawn 
wind over still lakes ; her mouth is the gate of heaven ; 
and every limb and curve of her cries out for love and 
rapture, and passion," his voice grew tense ; " and her 
clean white soul is a veil across her beauty and a sword 
and shield between desire and her." 

" Not to the man I love," I cried quickly, " there is 
no veil for him, he is my god, my hero, his voice is the 
noise of rivers joining the ocean and cataracts leaping over 
the crags and the song of the world in one, he is as beautiful 
as morning, or Seigfried when he rode the flame, he is 
Baldyr the Beautiful, my Viking, my sea-robber." 

" Don't, Peter, don't ! " he said, and covered his face 
with his arms as if he were warding off something. Our 
play seemed turning to earnest. 

The sun had set now, and the light was going grey, 
it was very still ; now and again a Kttle petulant chatter 



64 PETER PIPER 

came from the branches, and once a great flock of cockatoos 
swept like a floating scarf over the tree-tops their screams 
came to us faintly. 

" And I," I went on, softer still, for the hour was 
casting its spell over us both " if I am beautiful in his 
eyes, I would all my fairness were a cup of water, that 
he might drink it down ; I would I were a flower on the 
ground, that he might crush me out of life with his foot. 
Eyes, cheeks, lips," I cried and I was startled at myself, 
but something inside me seemed to be talking " every- 
thing is his. My lord," and then a queer old phrase I 
had read once in Dad Harcourt's Bible surged up to my 
lips, and I said with a little bubble of happy laughter, 
" behold his handmaiden ! " 

Rex's face in the half-light took on an expression 
I'd never seen before, it fascinated and frightened me, too, 
and for a minute I thought he was going to crush me to 
death in his arms, and I wanted him to. And instead he 
laughed a harsh, short laugh that wasn't a bit like him, 
and cried : " Excellent, well acted, i' faith, Rosalind ! " 

I had never been so hurt before. Does he think I could 
act a thing like that! 

And yet when he said good-bye at the slip-rails he 
said with sudden tenderness, " Peter, girl, I'm fighting a 
battle, you can't understand, and that's why you make 
it harder for me. I've never denied myself anything before ; 
some day you'll see that when I'm roughest and coldest 
to you, blood of my heart, that's when I love you best." 
And he rode away quickly. 

No, he is right, I do not understand. But why was 
I frightened of him that minute ? Father always scares 
me in his rages ; but I love Rex. I suppose it's because I 
don't know 



CHAPTER XIV 
His Career 

IT'S such a nuisance, but Fran guesses about Rex. I 
know he won't tell father, but still I wish he didn't know. 
He is so pleased about it he quite annoys me, and then 
he says things I don't like at all. He was greasing some 
bridles when I came out ready to start this morning, 
and he looked me up and down with a critical sort of glance ; 
his one eye which is half-shut blinked at me through his 
heavy specs, and his wizened brown old face wrinkled up 
like a monkey's in a smile of comprehension. 

" Eh, Peter ! " he said. " You beautiful ; you go 
meet the lawyer-man ? " 

I nodded curtly, and began to saddle Nugget. 

" You lak sun on de flowers, Peter. Eh, but you 
beauty woman now, you make lover happy. Birds sing 
in you eyes, Peter. He gran' lover too, big, fine, blood 
run hot in heem. He lof you mad, Peter ; girls lak you 
make young man mad " 

" Hold your tongue ! " I snapped, going scarlet ; 
but Fran let the bridle slip out of his hands and pursued 
dreamily : " Eh, but I was fine man too, not big, but strong, 
ver' strong, Peter, eh ; and women, they lof me too I 
am so old, I forget. There one in Valparaiso, an' Lola 
over to Bre-zil, her husban' he fierce man but fool, he 
mak' trouble, he try tak' her away." 

" And what did you do ? " I was tightening the girth; 
Fran tells such queer yarns at times, I often wonder if 
they're true. 

" I kill him," Fran answered placidly. " He bleed, 
ah ! lak one pig. Lola she have lips so red as his blood." 

F 6 



66 PETER PIPER 

" Ugh ! " I shivered, " and what became of her ? " 

" I know not'in'." 

" You don't mean to say you went away and left her 
after killing her husband ? " I demanded. 

" Ah, bah ! " Fran spat disgustedly, " my boat sail nex' 
week man must live his life women for pleasure, not 
to hinder." 

" You callous beast," I said with conviction ; but Fran 
took it as a compliment and tried to straighten his bent 
old shoulders. It was so pitiful to see a flash of devilry 
come into his one half-closed eye. 

" Gran' young man once, Peter," he sighed, " but old 
now, and the women all old, too. Old and withere' ; they 
come back no more, th^, young days, but " and his voice 
grew sharper " I no sorry. The priest he say ' Repent ' ; 
I say bah ! I do it again, regret not'in'. You be happy 
while you young. Eh, Peter, but I old man now." 

His head sank on his hands. Nugget and I crept out 
as quietly as we could. For a long while the shadow of 
Fran's grief for his young days seemed to hang over me 
till I remembered that I was still living in mine and the 
joy of life was dancing like wine through my veins, that 
the sun was flinging nooses of light round my shoulders 
through the swaying tree-tops, and pricking Nugget on 
with golden whip lashes ; and at the end of my journey 
would be my lover, my gran' fine lover, to swing me out 
of my saddle like a featherweight and hold me hostage for 
a good-morning kiss. 

Eh, but Fran was right, it's good to be alive and young. 
It is near the finish of the Forest of Arden, for Dick comes 
back some time to-morrow, and so every moment is more 
precious, but we've promised not to talk about it. I think 
in a way this afternoon was lovelier than any yet. We 
had a long serious talk we are so seldom serious. But 
in the morning we had been sillier than ever, perhaps it 
was the reaction. We played fairy tales again. There's 
one pet one of mine about three princesses, who were kept 
spinning gold by a wicked witch until, one day, the prince 



HIS CAREER 67 

comes (Rex, of course), and one of them runs away with him 
(that's me). We have a lovely time in the forest for a 
while until the old witch finds us out, and then she sends 
a fireball after us made of seven different kinds of 
enchanter's nightshade, and a pinch of salt, saying : 

" Whirlwind, Mother of the Wind, 
Lend thy aid against her who sinned, 
Carry with thee this magic ball, 
Cast her from his arms for ever, 
Bury her in the rippling river." 

The fireball comes dancing up to us as we are crossing 
the creek river, I mean ; the horse shies and sends me 
hurtling into the water, where I turn into a water-lily. 
The prince goes away grieving, and I stay in the river 
and sing 

" Alas ! alone and all forsaken, 
Tis I shall lie for evermore ; 
My beloved no thought has taken 
To free the maid who was so dear." 

But Rex was most provoking, he couldn't go away 
and grieve ; he said it was much nicer to sit on the bank 
and watch the water playing on my feet. " You're doubling 
the tale, Peter," he said, as he lifted his gaze from them 
for a moment, " I can see two water-lilies." Of course, 
when he would talk nonsense like that, the play broke 
up in disorder. 

We lay on the grass in the afternoon, and he sang to 
me. He is always singing it seems as if he can't help 
it it bubbles up in his throat like speech in others. 

" Rex," I said, " Why didn't you go in for singing 
instead of law a professional, I mean ? " 

For once he answered me gravely : "I did consider it, 
Peter ; some of my teachers advised it ; but well, you 
see, as I told you before, I'm ambitious, but I know my 
limitations. My voice is good, but it's not one of the 
three voices in the world ; moreover, the theatrical way 



68 PETER PIPER 

is thorny, and talent short of genius isn't much good 
there without influence. I have none. I've got nothing 
but my mother-wit to help me and my own brains ; and 
better a first-class lawyer than a third-rate singer. I 
shall die a Chief Justice yet ; mark my words, Peter, I'll 
arrive." 

He sat up, and a grim hard look I'd never seen before 
came into his face, and yet it was familiar. All of a sudden 
it dawned on me it was the same sort of look that had 
been on Fran's face when he said " Women for pleasure, 
not to hinder," and I felt chilled, but Rex went on as 
if he'd forgotten me. 

" I'll arrive, by Heaven ! I'll make 'em sit up. There's 
nothing between me and my work. I've no ties and I'll 
make none. I'll die in the woolsack yet. I've sacrificed 
much for my career, I'll sacrifice more ; nothing shall 
stop me." 

For a few minutes he sat silent, gazing ahead with 
that triumphant visionary expression, it seemed as if he 
Was miles away from me. Then he glanced at me and 
began to laugh. 

" Meantime here's a remarkably poverty-stricken 
young barrister who's still fighting for his bread and butter 
and hasn't succeeded yet in overawing or astounding 
the court by his ability. It's nice of you not to laugh at 
his dreams, Baby Peter. Besides, why talk of bread and 
butter and ambition in the Forest of Arden ? Nothing 
matters here but love, does it ? Kiss me, Peter." 

But I drew away from him. Somehow his lightness 
jarred on me. He lay silent again with his eyes shut, 
and when he spoke next it was in that grave, courteous, 
almost distant manner that I loved and feared at once. 
Loved because it seemed to set me above him in reverence, 
and hated because his reverence kept him from me. He 
spoke slowly ; even his speaking voice is melody. 

" How like a cathedral this is ! These trees, trunk 
after trunk, are the great pillars supporting the lofty 
carving of the roof, the light niters in on us softened and 



HIS CAREER 69 

shaded as it does through the green stained windows, 
and for the slow chanting of the organ pipes we have the 
wind carrying the last notes of the birds that fall to silence 
in the creek's murmur." 

" I should like to see a cathedral," I sighed. 

" Yes," he assented, " it suits this fanciful, dreamy 
mood. It appeals to the artistic temperament, the emo- 
tional the swelling song, then the silence ; the rich 
voice of the preacher, the quaint imagery of the Book ; 
the feeling of such a mass of fellow-men joining with you 
in worship of the invisible. But it doesn't do to give way 
to it," he added, the grim look coming back to his mouth ; 
" it Won't do for everyday life, it's each for himself and a 
short shrift for the blunderer. One must succeed." 

Then again one of his sudden changes of mood came. 
He is like a day in January, now dust, now rain, now sun. 
He took my hand and drew it lightly, caressingly across 
his lips, and he began to sing the little gipsy song my 
song, he calls it now. The sun was sinking down like a 
jewel in a mother-of-pearl casket. Rex turned his head 
and smiled at me, but his eyes were as unfathomable as 
the sky. 

" Peter," he said, " if we were two little silver boats 
that could set out in that sky lake and sail across to a 
harbour on the shore of Paradise ! Ah ! Peter, why is 
a man fettered by his birth and," he paused and added 
gloomily, " by his own soul ? " 

The sun sank and he began to sing again, a new song, 
one I had never heard, a simple tune that ran out of his 
throat like water poured on flowers. It made me remember 
when I was little, and Fran hushed me to sleep in his arms 
crooning to me. As he sang the shadows lengthened. 

" Now the day is over, 

Night is drawing nigh, 
Shadows of the evening 
Steal across the sky. 

** Now the darkness gathers, 
Stars begin to peep, 



TO PETER PIPER 

Birds, and beasts, and flowers 
Soon will be asleep. 

** Jesu, give the weary 

Calm and sweet repose, 

With Thy tenderest blessing 

May mine eyelids close. 

>f Grant to little children 

Visions bright of Thee; 
Guard " 

The song ceased abruptly, and he turned over on his 
face and lay with it hidden in his arms. It grew dark 
very quickly. Suddenly he rose to his feet and held out 
his hands to lift me up. 

" Rex," I said, " what was that ? " 

" My my mother used to sing it to me," he answered 
in a low voice. " It is getting dark, let us go home." 

And I have never had a mother t 



CHAPTER XV 
Do Men Do Such Things? 

Di, I feel no, I am too dazed to feel. Rex is going away ! 
He told me at dinner-time to-day. We were in Arden 
all the morning, and he was his sweetest, and as we came 
back he told me. Dick comes back this afternoon, and 
he is going to-morrow. 

Oh, Di ! Do men do such things ? How can he ? 
For he loves me you know he does. I don't understand 
it. I never said anything, I was too bewildered. I suppose 
he must go some time, of course, our idyll couldn't last 
for ever, not now that Dick has come back, but I didn't 
expect it so soon, and Di, he oh, I can't bear to 
tell you he spoke as if he was saying good-bye to me. 
How can he, how dare he ! after this week ? Besides, 
he loves me. 

Why ? Why ? It seems so tangled. Have I blundered 
anywhere ? But I've done nothing but love him, and is 
that a mistake ? He was so strange when he told me ; 
he didn't till we were just going to part, and he said it 
casually, almost carelessly ; it seemed to mean nothing 
to him, he was like a stranger. What does it mean, Di ? 
Will he forget me or will he come back ? Oh, I must make 
him promise. I can't live without him now ; he has 
taken my life and crushed it in his hands, he has no right 
to fling it away. 

He is coming to ride with me again this afternoon, 
" The last ride together," he said and laughed. How dare 
he laugh ! I could have killed him ! He shall not go, 
he shall not, and leave me. I think my heart will break. 
What does it all mean ? 

He has never promised anything, of course, but oh ! 
men don't do things like that. He should not have 
made me love him if he meant nothing. 

71 



CHAPTER XVI 
The Last Ride Together 

THE last ride together ! I can't believe it's true, but 
to-morrow he goes, to-day is the last in our Forest of 
Arden. It has been a golden week, and to-morrow no, 
I won't think of to-morrow. He said we would have 
a long last ride for the finish ; he was to come for me at 
six, for he would be busy with Dick in the afternoon, and 
we were to ride until eight ride all the time, like Brown- 
ing's man and his lady, through all the old haunts ; and 
we would not get off, but ride and ride in the moonlight 
through the Forest of Ardcn. 

As we cantered along we did not talk, I think we 
both felt too much. Then Rex slowed to a walk as we went 
up Lovers' Rise. It was very still. Even the moon crept 
behind the clouds for a while. It was a mackerel sky 
full of grey ribbed sand. He came alongside me, and 
Nugget paced demurely step by step with the mare, and 
Rex had my head on his shoulder. He began to say almost 
in my ear 

" What if we still ride on, we two, 
With life for ever old yet new, 
Changed not in kind but in degree, 
The instant made eternity 
And Heaven just prove that I and you 
Ride, ride together, for ever ride ? " 

" It would be," I whispered ; and then his mouth 
was like fire, Di, and his arm almost hurt me. 

" Peter," he said. " Listen. There's something I 
must say, and you mustn't interrupt. Peter, I love you ! 
I love you ! I never knew what the word meant before. 

73 



THE LAST RIDE TOGETHER 73 

I'm mad for you, every nerve and fibre in me cries out for 
you. I've fought against it, but it's no use. I never 
guessed the depth of it," he went on sombrely as if he 
were talking to himself. " I never knew I could feel like 
that, I didn't know it was in me ; I've loved before, but 
not like this. That's why I'm afraid, afraid of myself. 
Peter ! " he gripped me savagely, " there'll never be 
anyone else ? " 

" Never ! " I said, and I loved him to hurt me. 

" I think," he said, " I should kill him." 

I think he would. His face frightened me a little. 
He was silent again. 

" But, Rex," I said timidly, " why do you talk so ? 

There never will be anyone else. You love me, and I " 

the blood rushed to my face, and then I raised it proudly, 
" I worship you," I said. 

" Peter, don't ! " he almost groaned. 

" You must go away," I said, " yes, I know, but you 
will come back and I will wait. It will be very lonely " 
I bit back my tears " but I will wait." Perhaps it was 
bold of me, but he is mine ; I will not let him go ; I cannot. 

" If you were not such a child ! " he groaned. " Why 
are you good ? " 

A queer little ache started inside me. I began to be 
afraid of something I don't know what, but why was 

he so unhappy ? I wondered if Suppose there was 

another girl in Adelaide ! 

"I'm glad you are," he said with a sudden change of 
mood. " But there is so much I cannot explain to you. 
I don't trust myself. I think sometimes I am bewitched, 
I can't think clearly. I must get away where your eyes 
can't draw the soul out of me. I don't understand. I 
had had all my life mapped out, and you make it seem 
nothing. I have no more resolution ; I don't care for life, 
society, business, anything, when I'm with you. I'm 
mad ! " he muttered. " I must get away." 

" But you will come back, Rex, you will come back ? " 

" Yes, of course I will come back, I am sure I must. 



74 PETER PIPER 

I think I cannot live without you. But it may not be 
soon. Peter, you can't understand," he said in a queer 
sort of voice, " it's no use your trying ; we've been brought 
up differently, and you can't see the difficulties. I must 
reason it out calmly away from you. Perhaps by and by 
you will think me a cad, I don't know ; it's all dark and 
confused yet, I can't see, but Peter, whatever happens 
if only supposing I couldn't come back, you'll believe 
I loved you ? You'll believe that I love you, that I 
always will love you, and that no other woman will ever 
fill your place in my heart ? Peter, I love you ! " 

He pressed me close to him, and he was shuddering 
as if he were cold. All of a sudden he let me go, he almost 
pushed me away from him, and dug his heels into the 
mare. " Let's gallop all the way home," he said and 
laughed. 

I laughed too, though my eyes were smarting. If he 
was going to pretend he didn't care, why, so would I ! 
And so we jested and talked about nothing all the way 
home, but we weren't in the Forest of Arden any longer. 
He didn't get off his horse, he just talked feverishly till 
I had dismounted, and then he took off his hat and swung 
his arm round my neck and kissed me on the forehead. 
" God keep you, little girl," he said. " Good-bye ! " 
And he went but I saw his face was white. 

And then the earth seemed to come up and hit me, 
and I slipped down because my knees trembled so I 
couldn't stand. I couldn't realise anything except that 
he had gone, and I felt he would never come back. And 
then his arms were round me. I clung to him madly. 

"Rex!" I pleaded. "Oh, Rex! Take me with 
you." 

" Don't, Peter," he said sharply. " I can't ; let me go, 
Peter." He was trembling. " For God's sake let me go ; 
don't cry like that." 

" Then come back," I sobbed, for I was all unnerved. 
" Come back and say good-bye to-night," I begged, " just 
a little while ; you won't sleep, and I shan't either. Let 



THE LAST RIDE TOGETHER 75 

us go for another ride together ; we will sit on Lovers' 
Rise and wait for the dawn of to-morrow. It's the last 
day of Arden, Rex it's mine, mine till twelve. Come 
back, Rex!" 

He tried to unloose my ringers about his neck, and his 
face was troubled. " Don't ask it, Peter," he pleaded in 

his turn. " Oh, dearest, I want to But go inside 

quickly, Peter, go to your room go, Peter, go ! " and 
his voice was hoarse. 

" Not till you promise," I said stubbornly. 

" I promise," he said, his chest heaving. " I'm a fool, 
but I love you and God take care of us both ! " 

And so I am sitting here waiting. It is nearly ten, but 
he will come back. He promised. Why is he so troubled ? 
Oh ! but I could not let him go like that. I cannot live 
without him. I must make him love me so to-night, 
that he will come back to me from that other girl or what- 
ever it is in Adelaide that is between us bind him to me 
so he can never escape my memory. I have only such 
a little time, I must be my tenderest and sweetest, break 
down his cruel barrier, and make him forget everything 
but that he loves me. Only two little hours father 
is asleep oh ! I must be everything sweet that is in me 
to-night. I cannot think of life without him. Rex, my 
lover, my prince ! I can hear him coming. But why 
won't he take me now ? Am I not good enough for his 
wife ? I am very ignorant, but I would soon learn. I 
would learn anything for him 1 



CHAPTER XVH 
Broken and Thrown Aside 

WELL, Peter, you've gone and done it now. A pretty 
mess you've made of your life ! Oh, Di, I have been a 
fool. But I didn't mean to be wicked indeed, indeed 
I didn't. It was just that I didn't know. Oh, Di ! It's 
wrong, it's cruel to bring up a girl like I've been brought 
up, and never tell her anything and let her ruin her life 
like I've done. What would Dad Harcourt say if he knew ? 
I think I'm almost glad he's dead. I must be wicked, after 
all, to think that. But oh, Di ! it's awful. I am as bad 
as any of those women he used to read about, and I promised 
him I'd be good too. But why didn't he tell me ? I 
didn't understand what I was promising. Oh ! I wish 
I could kill us both because he doesn't really love me. 
He'll go away and leave me to face it alone. I didn't 
realise it last night as he kissed me good-bye, I was too 
stunned. I stood by the fence and watched him ride away, 
and just felt vaguely what I know to-day, that he will 
never come back again. I daren't tell father. Oh, Di ! 
I am so lonely. I believe I'm going to cry. I do want my 
mother so. I wonder if she would forgive me ? I wonder 
if when I was born she had known that her baby would 
turn out a bad woman, would she have strangled me ? 
Are you very ashamed of me, little dead mother ? 

How queer it seems now, when I used to read about girls 
like myself. They always seem to get a bad time from 
the world. What an old fool the world is, and what a 
mean and futile coward, as if any cold-shouldering it can 
give them can matter after the hell they carry in their 
own hearts. 

76 



BROKEN AND THROWN ASIDE 77 

If I'd only known yesterday morning what was going 
to happen before the sun rose on another day, I think I 
would have killed myself. I wonder if I had better kill 
myself now ? But I daren't, perhaps God would send 
me to hell. Father says there isn't any, but you can't 
be sure, and it wouldn't be fair unless Rex came too. I 
think I hate him. How queer it is ! and I loved him 
so yesterday. And it is all my own fault, too. If I 
hadn't made him come back ! But I didn't understand. 
I never guessed there was any danger. Oh, God ! why 
didn't I know ? And I am to blame, for I tried to make 
him care more than ever, I maddened him I I ! Could 
any girl but me have been such a fool, alone there by 
ourselves ? 

I must not blame him all, it is not just, but oh ! he 
has no right to leave me now he has not, he has not. 
He should have been stronger, or he should stay with me 
now. But he has gone ! If I had only dreamt of it ! 
We rode to Lovers' Rise, and sat on an old log and watched 
the moon gather her cloud-skirts round her and fleet over 
the sky hunting ground, and Rex's head was on my knee. 

Oh ! why couldn't it have lasted ? But it was I who 
did the mischief. I didn't understand. Rex ! Rex, you 
beast ! And I love him so ! Is it wicked of me to love 
him still ? I'll try not to if I shouldn't. And I shall 
never hear his laugh again, never see his eyes soften again 
when they turn to me, or feel his great arm round me. Oh, 
no, no ! Not that, I don't want to. I am glad I shall 
not see him again ; perhaps he despises me now. Anyhow 
he is tired of me, for he has gone away he went this 
morning ; Dick is over now, he told us a little while ago. 
He didn't look at me while he said it, which was rather 
nice of him ; but then I wasn't surprised, and I was almost 
startled to find I could talk about him quite naturally. 

Father didn't say much, as usual, but he glared at me 
for a while and then cleared out. I went on talking calmly 
to Dick while I felt his eyes boring gimlet holes in my 
chest. I am getting clever at acting already ; my life 



78 PETER PIPER 

will be one long deceit now. After father had gone I 
sat and stared out of the window, and Dick fidgeted about 
the room, and at last he blurted out 

" Look here, Peter, did he promise to marry you ? " 

It seemed to me as if someone pulled my face into a 
funny little twisted smile as I answered " Never." 

Dick heaved a sigh of relief, and said, " That's all right 
then." And it seemed to me as if my smile got more 
twisted still. 

But Dick seemed uneasy, he kept glancing at me, and 
at last he said awkwardly, " Look here, Peter, it's pretty 
rotten cheek of me butting in and all that, but hang it 
all, old girl, he's not worth worrying over. I call him a 
dirty cad ! " Dick went on angrily, " Making love to 
you just like he did to save himself from being bored up 
here you needn't think I was blind and then clearing 
out on top of it. I wouldn't shake hands with him when 
he went, I can tell you that." 

He paused for breath, but I couldn't speak; Dick 
seemed to be tying something tightly round my throat. 
So it was only to prevent boredom, and I served to do 
that much ! 

" I say, Peter," Dick said more gently, " you don't 
care as much as all that, do you ? " He put his hand 
clumsily on my shoulder, and his honest old eyes looked 
troubled. I wondered suddenly why I hadn't loved Dick 
instead, then there wouldn't have been any of this sick 
misery. " I ought to have warned you," he said. " He's 
a a rotter about women, only I didn't know quite how 
to tell a girl, and Peter," his voice took a different tone, 
" if that devil's hurt you, I'll break every bone in his 
body." 

All of a sudden I knew what an animal at bay fee 
like. " Don't be melodramatic, Dick," I said, " anc 
absurd." And I spoke naturally enough, though the 
seemed to stick in my throat. But I can't let Dick kno\ 

" Cheer up, old girl ! " he said, and then bent anc 
kissed my forehead. That was the last straw. 



BROKEN AND THROWN ASIDE 79 

" Don't ! " I almost screamed, and then everything 
blurred suddenly, and I flung myself down and cried my 
eyes out. I never saw anyone look as silly as Dick did, 
and I had to laugh in the middle, but the laughing hurt 
more. 

" Dick," I said, " you'll never go back on me, will you 
never ? " 

" Don't be a fool, Peter," Dick said gruffly. " Come 
for a ride." 

But I shook my head. I wanted to think things out 
first, and see how I was going to face the loneliness of 
life again, and father, and memory. But if I could only 
forget and stop loving him ! Rex ! Good-bye, my dear, 
my cruel heartless dear. If you had honestly loved me 
I could bear it better, but to have been only played with 
and broken and thrown aside ! 

And now he will never come back. 



CHAPTER XVIII 
Love 111 to Win 

OH, Di ! I am lonely ; the days crawl by like snakes, 
nasty creeping black memories. If I could only get away 
from here where everything reminds me of him, or if 
he would only write me. But, of course, he won't. If 
he cared for me at all he wouldn't have gone away ; he's 
forgotten all about me by now perhaps. But how can 
he forget ? I wish I could. I don't know how long it 
is ago. I suppose it must be weeks I have lost count. 
It doesn't seem worth bothering. I am getting thin, too, 
and quiet now, or so father said. 

He has been almost nice lately, although he rows 
with Dick as vigorously as ever. Dick Wants him to send 
me away. I came in at the tail end of a fight the other 
day and heard Dick saying : " Well, if you don't send 
her inside a month I give you fair warning it'll be no use 
doing it at all. It's a damned shame keeping a girl like 
that mewed up here. What sort of a chance have you 
given her ? By Heaven, sir, I wouldn't like to have to 
answer for it some day myself." 

And for once father didn't rage back ; he pulled his 
eyebrow and said almost politely : " I've been thinking 
about it." 

" It's a pity you don't act instead of thinking such a 
precious lot," Dick retorted. " Perhaps when she's dead 
you'll Wake up a bit." 

I crept away again, but I wonder if Dick really thinks 
Fm going to die ? I shouldn't care now, I'm not even 
frightened. I'm too miserable to mind. Anything would 

80 



LOVE ILL TO WIN 81 

be better than dragging on like this. I am dead 
really ; I walk about and eat and sleep, but I am dead 
inside. 

It's silly and sentimental and mean-spirited of me too, 
I suppose, to go on caring when he has treated me so 
badly, but I'm too tired to be proud now, and I want 
someone to love me so dreadfully. He was the only man 
I ever met who treated me like a girl. It was easy enough 
for him ; what chance had I got ? If there were someone 
else to stop me thinking ! But there's nobody, and all 
day long the hatefulness of it poisons the food I eat and 
the water I drink, and the very sky above me is clouded 
by it. Surely I have been punished enough ; and always 
at the bottom of my heart there's a sick dread I daren't 
think that or I'll go mad. 

Anything but that. I know now the blind terror of the 
hunted animal. You can't understand it till you've been 
hunted yourself. I do now. There's many, many things 
I can understand now I couldn't once. Knowledge you've 
paid for dearly bites deep. 

Sometimes I want to scream it out at the whole world 
instead of going about a living lie. It must be dreadful 
to have the world's finger pointed at you, but in a way 
it's even dreadfuller to carry always on your conscience 
a big deceit ; and nothing matters much after you've 
lost your own self-respect. Sometimes, when it haunts 
me worse than usual, I fling myself down on the grass 
and cry till my throat gives way and I only shake in silent 
sobs that seem to tear me in pieces for sheer shame of 
myself. Can't I ever atone for it ? I know from books 
people would forgive Rex ; why must / wear sackcloth 
all my life ? I was no wickeder than he, indeed, indeed 
you know it was all his fault ; but only me is punished. 
It's so tangled and queer. 

I found an old book of Scotch poetry to-day at Dad 
Harcourt's. I've been reading a lot lately, to try and stop 
thinking, and I suppose, too, I just babyishly encourage 
myself in my silliness, because I read about love. I ought 



82 PETER PIPER 

to fight against it and do geography and sums. I did try 
at first, but it would come between me and the pages, 
and I gave it up, and now I just drift with my feelings. 
There's a queer sort of satisfaction in giving way ; it's 
that that is the pleasure in being miserable, the feeling 
of unrestraint ; and I think I'll die soon, so what does 
it matter ? 

The Scotch book has some queer poems in it ; they're 
nearly all about people like Rex and me, and nobody 
seems shocked. Didn't people think it wicked once ? 
Then perhaps it isn't really ; but it's very puzzling. Why 
do people think it wicked now, or do they only pretend 
they do ? I wish I could ask someone. I like one poem 
so much. It's a girl like me who has learnt her lesson 
too late, and she says : 

'* But had I wist, before I kis't 

That love had been sae ill to win, 
I had lock't my heart in a case of gowd 
And pinn'd it with a siller pin." 

Love ill to win ! It does seem queer that the sweetest 
thing in the world should be the most dangerous, doesn't 
it ? But I think it's such a pretty imagining. Wouldn't 
it be nice if we could lock our hearts up and just let them 
out for an airing when it was sunny and safe ? 

That girl seems to have thought things out a lot. 1 
like this verse so much : 

'* Hey, nonnie, nonnie, but love be bonnie* 

A little while when it is new, 
But when it's auld it grows mair cauld 
And fades away like morning dew." 

I wonder why. 

I believe Fran guesses about me, but somehow I don't 
mind him knowing ; he isn't a bit shocked, and it is so 
comforting to feel he loves me still just the same. He said 
to me the other day when we were smoking by the old 



LOVE ILL TO WIN 83 

log at the edge of the East clearing (we always have a 
pipe there about sundown, and a yarn) : " Peter, you lof 
the lawyer-man ? " 

He said it in such an assured, matter-of-fact way, I 
just nodded meekly. 

" Why he no tak' you with him ? " 
Then I remembered after all I am father's daughter 
and Fran is our man. " Mind your own business ! " I 
retorted, puffing furiously at my cigarette. (Father won't 
let me smoke a pipe I bought one once and tried, but 
I didn't like it much.) 

Fran didn't take any notice of my rudeness ; he just 
blew a few rings, and the crickets giggled shrilly round 
us. He clasped his distorted fingers about his knees and 
looked past me with such a funny sort of smile on his 
face. Then he nodded his head two or three times and 
spoke in Portuguese. He only does that when he is angry 
or sentimental. 

" Ah ! the foolishness of these little ones," he said. 
" When they are young the beautiful gods kneel at their 
feet and offer them the most precious of gifts, and they 
toss it aside for the tinsel rainbow ever just a little beyond ; 
and when they are old and their bodies so sweet and their 
tender red lips are wrinkled, and their warm leaping 
hearts beat slow and heavily, they stretch withered hands 
to the mocking gods and proffer the tinsel back for the 
gifts they spurned many years agone in vain in vain, 
Peter ! Paquita ! my little one, there is nothing in all 
this big world so great and so precious as love. Love, 
Peter, while you are young ; give, give, give, and do not 
ask again, for the pain now will be the solace of your old 
age and the bitterness of youth turn to honey in the years 
of memory. 

" Love, Peter," he said suddenly relapsing into English. 
" Love and never regret not 'in', then you be happy. Life 
is many colour pretty ugly so many bits of glass 
good bad the way you shake the dish. There is no 
good or bad life is one big rainbow, Peter. When you 



84 PETER PIPER 

old you understan'. Not' in' matter. Not'in' not even 
you, Peter ; not me." 

His voice died away in a mournful kind of sob, and 
seemed to shiver up to the stars just beginning to drift 
out from behind the gums. Nothing matters. 

Perhaps it is true. 

Rexl 



CHAPTER XTX 
Withered ! 

Di, I had such a queer dream last night. I was in a big 
paddock covered with flowers, and it Was full of girls and 
girls and girls. They all wore white dresses and carried 
big lilies, and they danced. I had a white dress on too, 
but I had fallen into a mudhole on the way and it was 
streaked and dirtied, and my lily had withered, and none 
of them would have anything to do with me. 

I sat away by myself and stared at them unhappily. 
All at once someone came towards me ; it wasn't a man 
and it wasn't a woman, it just shone, and its eyes were so 
tender they loosened all the hatred and misery in my 
heart and turned it to tears that healed, not burnt. 

In front of all the girls that knelt to it, it came to me 
and put its arms round me, and at that my robe became 
clean again and my withered flower revived, and when I 
said : " Who are you ? " It answered " Love." And I 
awoke. 

I wonder what it means ? But somehow its caress 
seems to linger round me to-day ; I feel as if I were still 
walking in the shadow of that dream. I wonder if it 
means I am going to die and God will forgive me ? There 
can never be any more love for me again but His. 
Could God love even me ? 

Father has been kinder lately. He said to me yesterday : 
" Peter, do you want to go away ? " 

" No, thank you, father," I replied listlessly, and sat 
down at the window. 

Beneath, Fran was rubbing down Nugget. I leant my 
chin on my hands and watched him. Father watched 

85 



86 PETER PIPER 

me. Abruptly he said : " Where's some paper ? I want 
to write a letter." 

I wonder if he is going to send me away, but what 
does it matter ? 

Rex ! Rex ! I want you so. 

I rode to the Forest of Arden to-day. The creek is 
dried up and the grass withered. 

* * * * * 

[And while a grey-eyed girl cried her heart out day 
after day on the withered grass shaded by the callous gums 
a ship was furrowing its way over the sea, and on its deck 
in the starlight, night after night, a man paced with a 
sullen face and bent shoulders. 

The gurgles of laughter from dark corners did not 
stop his steady tramp. 

The hum and snatches of conversation from the 
smoking-room passed by him unnoticed. 

Up and down, up and down ! 

And again up and down. 

" Fool ! Fool ! Fool ! " he muttered between his 
set teeth. And he stopped at the far end and stretched 
out his arms to where away in the blackness the Land of the 
Swan lay shrouded. 

" Peter ! " he cried passionately. " Peter ! " 

But not even an echo of his own voice came back to 
him. Always the sea and silence. 

The smoking-room door opened and a head came out. 

" Ware, will you come and make a fourth ? " 

" Sorry," was the curt reply, " Fm busy." 

Again he resumed his self-imposed march. 

Now and again his hands would clench and he muttered 
broken phrases between his teeth. 

A couple went past ; " To-morrow," one of them was 
laughing, " we'll be in Adelaide," and they passed on. 

The man winced as if he had been struck. 

" To-morrow ! " he almost groaned. " Pull yourself 
together, you fool," he added roughly. " You know 
you can't marry her. Think of your career. A bush girl ! 



WITHERED I 87 

A nonentity ! A beggar ! Do you want to saddle yourself 
at the beginning ? But, oh ! Peter, what a cur I am ! " 

His voice broke. Then he flung the cigarette that 
had gone out between his teeth, into the water with sudden 
passion. 

" Damn all women ! " he said, and went below. 

But in his sleep that night a man stretched out his 
arms and murmured again 
" Peter ! "] 



BOOK TWO THE GIRL, PETER 

CHAPTER I 
Miss Peter Delaney 

Di, I've been born again. Peter Piper's dead, and here's 
Peter Delaney on a steamer, for the first time in her life, 
churning over this big wet paddock where the fishes graze, 
to Adelaide, South Australia. Di, do be pleased with 
me ; it's all so lovely and new, and I am so happy. Yes, 
I am, dear don't you think I ought to be ? But Peter 
Piper is dead dead dead ! I shall say it over until 
I really and truly believe it. I am going to forget her, 
and everything put it right away from me. God has 
given me a second start, after all. 

But even now I can't understand it quite. It's all 
very mysterious, but it's too beautiful and happy for me 
to care. Di, I never knew people could be such darlings. 
Everyone on board is so good to me. I was dreadfully 
sick until to-day, and even now it makes me dizzy to watch 
some of the girls walking round and round and round the 
deck hanging on to the men's arms. I feel so shy of 
girls, but several of them have been so sweet to me and 

talked so jollily. I wonder if they would if Oh 

Peter, stop remembering. I shall not remember ; my 
life started two days ago. 

The captain is such a dear ; he is a little, fat, dark 
man with sad eyes and an irresistible chuckle. He says 
he is my fairy godfather. He took me up on the bridge 
last night and oh. the view ! There seemed only God 

89 



90 PETER PIPER 

and me, no one between us. I've felt like that sometimes 
out in the scrub at nights. 

While I stood watching the stars creep out unwillingly, 
as if the old lady who sweeps the sky were poking them out 
of their comfortable corners with her broomstick, he said 
suddenly to me : 

" Where did you get your clear eyes from, god- 
daughter ? " 

I turned and looked at him wonderingly. 

" You have the straight look that we get," he ex- 
plained. " It comes from gazing so many years over 
measureless distance. I have never seen such clearness 
in a woman's eyes before." 

" Oh ! that," I said thoughtlessly, " is because I have 
always been a boy." 

Di, I thought he'd never stop laughing. 

But really it is quite hard to be a proper girl after so 
long in little things, I mean, like what to talk about 
and how to put my clothes on and do my hair. Oh, I 
do wish my hair would grow quicker. It's got to that 
horrid half-way stage when I can't make it go up properly 
and it's too long to wear short. You know what I mean. 
But they say it looks nice. 

But it's the talking puzzles me most. I listen to the 
other girls and try to copy them, but you wouldn't believe 
how queer their conversation sounds. I don't know 
anything of the things they talk about theatres, and 
dancing, and people they know who are engaged. They 
never seem serious. The only thing I can talk about is 
books, and men don't seem to want to talk about them ; 
they are always saying things that seem to mean they think 
me beautiful or they are in love with me. I couldn't 
understand it all at first, because I knew quite well they 
could not all love me, and I thought they were making 
fun of me, but I think I begin to see it now it's the way 
they talk to all girls, and the girls only laugh. It must 
be a fashion to jest at love. I suppose there are fashions 
in talking as in everything else. 



MISS PETER DELANEY 9* 

I am learning a whole lot of things I mustn't say ; 
I do wish I knew them all. But they are all very kind 
about it when I say things I shouldn't. 

Di, I do like girls' clothes ; I never had such a lovely 
time in my life as shopping in Perth. Father gave me an 
awful lot of money and told me to get just what I liked. 
Di, have you ever bought petticoats, lovely lacey, frilly 
ones, and swishing silk underskirts, and openwork stock- 
ings ? It Would make any sick person well to go shopping. 
Dick found it dreadfully dull. He took me down to Perth 
and put me on the boat ; he said he didn't care so long 
as he saw the colour coming back into my cheeks ; and 
we went to the Zoo, and the Palace Gardens, and the 
Pictures, and on the river in between-times. We were 
only there three days, and it was one big rush. I was 
staying with some old lady Dick knows ; he went to an 
hotel. I wanted to go with him, for I didn't like her much, 
but he said it wasn't the thing. That's another of 'em 
to remember. 

Father wouldn't come down. Fran came to the train 
with me when I left, and cried : he said I looked lovely. 
Half the township had a fit at seeing Piper's boy transformed 
into a girl. I was feeling rather bad, but no one could 
help feeling pleased at making such a sensation. I should 
think even a man going to be executed could take a sort 
of mournful pride in his eminence. 

Dick had got a girl he knew in Perth to choose some 
clothes for me to leave in. She had rather good taste, 
too. I wore a plain grey coat and skirt with a cunning 
lace blouse underneath, and a big black hat, and don't 
shriek, Di ! a veil. Me in a veil ! I've got quite used 
to them now, and they are rather cute, though a nuisance 
to see through. 

Dick and I both felt awful fools waiting for the train, 
and we scurried in like rabbits when it arrived. I was 
glad, because I didn't think I could have got any hotter, 
and my face was trying to. The girl from Mason's store 
was there I was so glad. I turned round so as to give 



9* PETER PIPER 

her a real good view of my dress. I wondered if she 
remembered when I kissed her. 

Father only shook hands with me at the house and 
hoped I'd have a good time. I was sorry to leave Nugget. 

The only thing I do hate are the stays. They hurt, 
and I don't lace them tight either ; I suppose it's because 
I'm not used to them. I guess I've just got to persevere. 
I argued the point with the shop-woman first, but I can 
see now, with the tight-waisty sort of clothes we wear 
(doesn't that " we " sound comic ? but I'm getting quite 
possessively feminine already), you've got to have them, 
although the shop-woman said I had such a beautiful 
figure naturally, I almost didn't need them ; but I expect 
she only said that to make me take the more expensive pair. 

They're another thing I mustn't talk to men about. 
I suppose I shall learn it all some day. We were all sitting 
in a sheltered corner, and Glen (I'll tell you about him 
some day) said to me : 

" What's up ? " 

" It's these wretched stays," I explained ; " I can't get 
used to them. Have you ever worn them ? " And then 
I went scarlet, for I saw by the way the girls looked I had 
put my foot in it again. But, oh ! I could just have 
hugged Glen ; he didn't look uncomfortable or even 
laugh, but he said in quite a matter-of-fact way, as if I'd 
made the most ordinary remark in the world : 

" Only once, for some theatricals we had, and I thought 
them abominable things. I make quite a nice girl ; don't 
you think I would ? " he appealed to Lucy Rees, and 
drew the attention away from me. Wasn't it dear of him, 
Di ? I just love him. His name is Glen Morris, and he's 
a lawyer ; and he's been very nice to me ; he comes 
and sits beside me, and doesn't even talk if I don't feel 
like it. He does talk such nonsense, though, but it's 
nice. He said to me this morning : 

" Do you know why I adore you ? " 

I laughed outright and said, " I didn't know you did, 
but tell me why." 



MISS PETER DELANEY 93 

" Because you don't admire me." 

I just laughed again, he is so absurd. 

" I like your laugh," he said, shifting round to stare 
at me ; "it gurgles just like water running out of a bottle. 
I shall call you ' Minnehaha, Laughing Water ' may I ? " 

" I'm sure I don't care what you call me," I retorted. 

" If I thought you really meant it," he said, " I should 
call you ' Peter." I never knew it could sound so beautiful 
before." 

" Don't you like being admired ? " I asked. 

He made a grimace and blew some smoke up to the 
roof. " It gets monotonous," he said. " You see, I am 
the eldest, and the idol of the family. I was born clever. 
I wonder if you can realise what a handicap that is to a 
man ? " 

" Handicap ! " I stared. " I should think " 

" So does everybody else ; that's part of the trouble. 
When everybody insists on treating your misfortune as 
a blessing, not even in disguise well ! " he shrugged his 
shoulders. " Cleverness," he went on as if he were talking 
to himself, " inflates the brain at the expense of the heart. 
You get to thinking yourself of different clay to your 
neighbour, and expect Nature to treat your affairs with 
a bit more than usual consideration, something approaching 
the state of mind of the Dauphin, who thought it a slur 
on his dignity to be obliged to die like other men. Years 
of flattery, you know, can't fail to damage a man, however 
sensible he naturally is. You get a good view sitting on 
a pinnacle, but it gets lonely, and even then you can't 
bear to climb down." His eyes smiled at me. " Vanity 
takes queer forms." 

" You do talk nonsense," I said. 

" Yes," he agreed. " Suppose you come and beat me 
at golf." 

I wish my hair had red shades in it like his. 



CHAPTER II 
Explanations 

Do you know, Di, it has suddenly occurred to me I haven't 
explained to you yet how I come to be here. Last time 
I wrote I was moping at East Magnet, wasn't I ? I 
Wonder what Fran's doing now ? He will miss me more 
than anybody. Poor old Fran ! Life must be sad when 
it's running its last grains out. It must be just dreadful 
to have nobody want you, nobody's face get brighter 
when you come along. I wish I could have brought 
him with me, for he will be terribly lonely with only father, 
but anyway I expect Mrs. Danish would have a fit if 
I had. 

I wonder what she's like. Isn't it fun guessing what 
people will be like beforehand ? they never are a bit 
what you fancy them. Why, I remember when Dick 
said a lawyer was coming up I There you go again, 
Peter ! Will she be tall and thin, and have a sharp voice, 
and order me about, or is she fat and middle-aged and good- 
natured ? Perhaps she is quite old, with beautiful white 
hair. I Wonder if there will be any girls or boys ? I wish 
there was a kiddy about three, I would love to play with it. 
There's such a darling young baby on board ; its name is 
Molly, and it likes me. I think I could look at it all day, 
it is so perfect its darling fat legs ; Di, if you could 
only feel its wee ridiculous fingers holding your own. 
The first time it kissed me and slid its wet, messy, wee 
mouth down my chin I cried, and when I told its mother 
I had never nursed a baby before she cried too ; and then 
Molly cried because we did, and that soon stopped us, 
because Molly has not learnt to cry like a lady yet. 

Isn't that just father all over ? Here I am going to 
94 



EXPLANATIONS 95 

be plumped down on a family of complete strangers whom 
I don't know a thing about, and who, unless father's 
more communicative with other people than with me, 
don't know a thing about me either. I wonder how they 
view my coming ? Do they like the idea or not ? More 
likely not. Well, I can't help it, so it's no use worrying, 
and anything would be better than East Magnet. 

I got a fearful shock when he told me. I had been 
out riding, and it was such a perfect day I couldn't help 
feeling a little less miserable than usual. The sun always 
seems such a gay old boy ; you can't help giving him a 
smile in the end when he jollies you up so untiringly. 
Dick met me half-way home, and T could see he was just 
bursting over with news, but somehow, although I knew 
he was dying for me to ask him questions, I couldn't 
I felt too tired. I was always tired. I can hardly believe 
it is me, Di, it is so heavenly to be alive again. My ! 
you've got to be dead once to know the value of life. 

" Peter," he said at last, " would you like to go away ? " 

" I don't think I care much now," I answered wearily 
" And anyway I never shall." 

" Wrong for once," Dick retorted triumphantly. 
" You're going in a few days." 

I turned in my saddle, and I believe it was then the 
wee-est thrill of life crept back in my veins. 

" Dick ! " I said. 

He nodded like the clockwork soldier Dad Harcourt 
gave him one Christmas when we were kiddies. 

" Where to ? When ? Who with ? " I said in a rush, 
feeling a little bit more alive with each word. 

" Your father'!! tell you all about it when you get 
home." 

I grinned sceptically I knew what father's telling 
all about a thing meant. " Don't be mean, Dick," I 
adjured. 

" To tell the truth, I don't know any more myself," 
he confessed. " I was giving him a bit of my candid 
opinion of him to-day " 



96 PETER PIPER 

" Dick, you dear ! " I broke in involuntarily. 

" Turn it up, Peter ! " Dick said gruffly. " Anyway, 
when I stopped for breath he coolly informed me you 
Were going over to Adelaide in a few days. I nearly fell 
down in astonishment ; then I thought I'd come and 
meet you. I say, aren't you glad ? " His voice sounded 
disappointed. 

" I don't know," I said. " I had given up hope, and 
it doesn't seem believable but, yes, I suppose I am. 
Oh, yes, I am, Dick ! " And by the time I got home 
I was quite excited, and Dick and I were talking about 
what we'd do when he came over to Adelaide, for he said 
he was coming soon, he'd sold his place. 

When we rode up the track to the house Dick said : 
" I don't think I'd better come in again, Peter; the old 
man will have had enough of me for one day. I suppose 
you're not afraid ? " he added ; " he's pretty wroth 
over something or other, but I expect I should only make 
him worse." 

" No, of course not," I said disdainfully, but all the 
same my knees shook as I went in, but perhaps it was 
only excitement. Father wasn't there, and I felt all 
my courage fizzle out. It's so disgusting when you screw 
yourself up to face something and it doesn't happen. I 
had prepared a whole lot of questions riding home I was 
going to ask him. I was determined to get at the bottom 
of things for once and for all, to find out who I was, and 
why I had been brought up so queerly, and what connec- 
tion I have with the people I'm going to, but as I stood 
at the door watching father help Fran doctor one of 
the horses that was sick I knew I shouldn't dare. I 
did try. 

He came in in a raging temper. " Pah ! " he snapped, 
" the brute'll die all through that fool's meddling." (" That 
fool " meant Fran.) " Damn the thing ! " he added 
furiously as he tripped over my saddle, " why don't you 
put your rubbish away ? " 

" Look here, father, let us understand each other," 



EXPLANATIONS 97 

I tried to say, and I nearly wept with disgust when all that 
came out was : " Have you had tea ? " 

He grunted. I didn't know whether it meant yes or 
no, but I didn't want him to burst out again, so I was 
silent. 

At the door he turned back. " I suppose Dick has 
told you you're going away ? " 

" Yes, who who am I going to ? " I answered meekly. 

" Mrs. Danish," he said with a sneering laugh, " the 
charming, unblemished wife of Dr. Danish, physician and 
surgeon, Adelaide." And he laughed like a devil. 

" For how long ? " I hazarded. 

" As long as you like." 

" Oh ! " I said, and shivered as he laughed again. 

The moonlight came through the open door and lay on 
the boards like spilt milk ; I watched it fascinated. 

" But do they will they mind am I a relation of 
theirs ? " I asked haltingly. 

I thought father was going to spring at me. " Hold 
your tongue ! " he roared. 

I promptly did, and that's how I don't know any more 
now than I ever did. It's rather absurd for a grown girl 
to be wandering round the world like a lost dog, isn't 
it ? 

The only new bit of information I have is my name. 
I went to the outsheds to say good-bye (he had never men- 
tioned my going away since that first night) ; he was 
mending an old saddle and wouldn't take any notice of me 
first till I said, " I've come to say good-bye, father." 
I spoke with more assurance than I had ever used before, 
but somehow the clothes I had on made me feel quite 
different. I did have such a job getting into them, too. 
Fran and Dick had to help button me up. And I was 
never so pleased in my life as when I saw father actually 
jump, and his hand went in an involuntary sort of way 
up to his hat. Then he seemed to catch himself back 
and hesitated for half an imperceptible second, but he 
took it off and made me an ironical bow. 



98 PETER PIPER 

" Am I allowed to congratulate you on the effect ? " 
he said. 

The words were nice enough, but the way he said them 
made my cheeks get hot. 

He took me in from head to foot. " You were right, 
Dick/' he said suavely ; " it is unthinkable such a flower 
should be content to blush unseen. Of what avail are 
goods unless they go to market ? " 

" Father ! " I cried, tears of anger in my eyes. 

He looked at me with a twisted, sorrowful sort of smile. 
" Go and enjoy yourself, child," he said, quite gently. 
I believe if Dick and Fran hadn't been there he would 
have kissed me, but as it was he just shook my gloved 
hand (grey suede gloves, Di I'd never had a pair on 
before), and then went back to his saddle. I suddenly 
felt sorry for father. I wonder why he has such a queer 
lonely life ? Perhaps he is unhappy. But he never 
would let me love him. It's funny, though, how parting 
softens your heart ; Dick says it's because you're so glad 
to get rid of people that you feel you like them better. 

Then he and Fran drove me off to the station, and Fran 
cried all the way. Just as I went father said, " By the way, 
you'd better call yourself Delaney now, that's my real 
name." 

So here's Peter Delaney ; and here's Glen, too, coming 
to root me out. He does look nice, Di, and he is always 
thinking of tiny things to do for me. Of course I don't 
call him Glen except to you, but " Mr. Morris " is such 
a mouthful to write. 

I guess I'll have to stop now. Good-bye, Di. 



CHAPTER in 
A Queer Situation 

Di, how comic it is ! And how exciting, too ! Just imagine, 
Glen knows Mrs. Danish ! He says she's a jolly little woman, 
and there are two children, Dolly and Jack ; he doesn't 
know how old they are, but they are both grown up. 
That sounds nice. I'm so glad there's a girl. It was 
funny how we came to talk about it. It was after dinner 
one night. Di, I suppose it's awful to have to admit 
it, but I used to feel so uncomfortable at table for a while, 
there were so many spoons and forks and I was never sure 
I wasn't using the wrong ones. 

After dinner Miss Rees and I went on deck together. 
She is such a nice girl. We talked for ages ; she was 
telling me all about girls, and when she was at school, 
and her sisters, and it was so new and lovely. She said 
she made most of her dresses ; I think she must be very 
clever. I should like to learn to sew, too. I was enjoying 
myself. Then Glen and another man came up, and after 
a bit the other man and Miss Rees went off together. 
I felt cross at being interrupted, although I like Glen, 
and I suppose I showed it, for he said plaintively : 

" Why do you always bury yourself in a group of 
females when you know I want to talk to you ? Is it 
just perversity ? " 

" Of course it's not, :; I said. " I like to talk to you, 
'but I love girls." 

" Well, I'm pretty enough for a girl, ' he reminded 
me ; " couldn't you love me too ? " 

" Don't be silly ! " I said, feeling less cross ; but the 
idea of calling his lean, lantern- jawed faci pretty broke 

99 



ioo PETER PIPER 

me up completely. He has got a lean face when he's 
profile on you can almost see the two sides at once. I 
like him. 

He doesn't seem to talk much to the other girls. Miss 
Rees says he never does bother about them, and that's 
why it amuses her to see him with me. She knows him 
over in Adelaide, you see, though she says only very 
slightly ; he never goes to dances, or at least only about 
once a year, so, as that's the rendezvous for the young, 
she doesn't meet him. She says he is supposed to be a 
very clever fellow. He got all sorts of first-classes and 
prizes when he was at the University, and people have 
made such a fuss of him he is getting spoilt. I haven't 
noticed he is spoilt. She says he was Stow Scholar, too, 
whatever that is ; she seemed to think it something 
wonderful. 

I'm glad he lives in Adelaide ; perhaps I shall see 
him again after he leaves the boat. He told me, with 
that funny smile in his eyes, he wouldn't be surprised 
if I did. 

" I mightn't," I objected. " Miss Rees says you never 
go to dances, and that's where people meet." 

" Well," he said, with the same quizzical smile, 
" perhaps I might go now." 

I never met anyone who could talk with his eyes 
like he does ; they're as noisy as a phonograph sometimes. 
There is a phonograph on board ; isn't it wonderfully 
clever ? They laughed when I said I liked it, and told 
me it was very second-rate, but if they'd seen as little 
as I have they'd be pleased with little things too. 

But what I am just dying to see are the moving pictures. 
When I told Glen he said : " Tell you what ! we'll fix 
up a party and go as soon as we can. I expect they'll 
want to keep you to themselves a few days, but I'll ring 
up Dolly and find out." 

" Dolly ! " I repeated ; " you know her well, then ? " 

" Pretty well," he laughed. " We were very thick 
when I was a college boy and she at school. I should think 



A QUEER SITUATION 101 

I did know the fair Dolly. I don't see much of her now, 
though." 

" What is she like herself ? " I queried curiously. 

" If I teU you you'll teU her back." 

" I'm not a cad," I retorted ; I felt a little angry. 

" I beg pardon," he smiled, " I forgot you were a boy." 
And we both laughed. 

I've told him a little about Magnet, you see. 

" Let me see. She's small, and fair, and wonderfully 
charming though not pretty. She's a hot friend, and has 
a trick of speaking out her mind regardless of consequences 
that makes her something of a terror to her acquaintances. 
A real sport, Dolly I think you'll get on with her." 

" And Mrs. Danish ? " 

" Pretty and spoilt." 

" And the boy ? " 

" Jack just an ordinary young devil. I don't know 
much about him or the doctor." He contemplated me a 
while. " It's rather a queer situation, being planted on 
strangers, isn't it ? " 

" Awful ! " I sighed. " But I suppose she's an old 
friend of father's." 

" I suppose so. Never mind, they'll be good to you. 
Who could help it ? " he added. 

Wasn't it nice of him to say that, Di ? I hope he doesn't 
forget about the pictures. And I wonder if I will get on 
with Dolly ? I do hope Dick will be over soon ; he says 
he will, but he's going to Sydney first. 



CHAPTER IV 
The Last Evening 

FUNNIER and funnier ! Lucy Rees knows the Danishes 
too. Now really, Di, that is peculiar, you can't deny. 
She doesn't live very far away from them, so I shall still 
see her when I live there. She says I must go round and 
play tennis on their court ; I don't know how, but she said 
I'll soon learn if I practise, but it'll burn up my complexion. 
Fancy anyone talking to me about my complexion, Di, 
isn't it huge ? 

She says Dolly goes to the 'Varsity, that she's clever in 
a way. She's taking her B.A. course, though Lucy (she 
asked me to call her Lucy last night) doubts if she'll ever 
finish it. 

" Why ? " I asked. 

" She'll get married most of us do." 

" Are you there, too ? " I said in amazement. She 
looks so fresh and dainty, and not a bit studyfied. I 
wouldn't think she was any cleverer than me to look at her. 

" I'm a medical student," she laughed, "third year." 

' What a long time to spend at it ! " I ventured. 
" Do you like studying ? " 

She laughed again. " Very much, except when I'm 
in love, then it's terrible hard work to keep your mind 
from straying." 

" In love ! " I opened my eyes. 

" In love, little backblocks," she mocked prettily. 
" Do you think medical students and B.A.'s don't fall in 
love as easily as other women ? " 

I thought it over for a moment. " How very incon- 
venient," I said. 

103 



THE LAST EVENING 103 

" That's the word I've been hunting for for years," 
she declared, wiping her eyes. " You've hit it at once, 
it is inconvenient." And she went off in another peal 
of laughter. 

" You know," she said presently, " you're the quaintest 
girl I've ever met." 

" Oh ! " I said, not quite sure how to take it. 

" And," she added, " the prettiest. Come and play 
golf." 

I asked Glen if she was very clever. He said he didn't 
know, but he believed she did rather decently in her 
exams., he didn't know much about her at all. I gathered 
he didn't want to. 

" But why ? " I urged. " She's very nice." 

" I didn't say she wasn't." 

" Well, what is it you don't like about her ? I know, 
you think she shouldn't want to be a doctor." 

" I don't like women studying," he admitted ; " besides, 
she's the sort of girl who'll get married and throw it all 
away." 

" But if a woman likes studying, why shouldn't she ? " 

" I don't know. But there's so many other things 
she can do." 

" Such as wash dishes ? " I suggested. 

" Yes, and other things." He was perfectly serious. 
" There's some jobs women must do in the world men 
can't do them and men can do all the studying that's 
necessary." 

" Then you prefer women without brains ? " 

" They can employ them in feminine ways." 

" What is feminine ? " I demanded. 

" There you've got me," he conceded ; " but don't 
let us spoil our last night by arguing. Admire the stars 
and I'll admire you." 

" Why not admire the stars too ? " 

" Could I gaze at lesser luminaries when there's such 
a 

We had to laugh, but, Di, it seems to me there's lots of 



104 PETER PIPER 

perplexities in being a woman. I almost wish I'd stopped 
a boy. 

Well, we get into the Outer Harbour to-morrow morning. 
I suppose someone will come to meet me. Anyway, Glen 
and I made the most of our last evening together. Isn't 
it sort of sad breaking up any kind of association even 
for a better ? We have been such a nice little party for 
so many days, and got so fond of each other, we almost 
didn't want to separate. But still I am not losing Glen 
and Lucy, anyway. 

They celebrated the last evening with a concert, but 
we did not go. We leant over the ship's side and watched 
the moon having her bath ; I wished I could believe it was 
really Cynthia slipping out of her gown spun of star threads 
and freshening her limbs in the tepid water. I pretended 
to Glen I could see the foam-maidens, with their beautiful 
green-blue eyes and hair that is sunshine in the day and 
moonsilver at night, dipping in and out of the circling 
lather the ship makes along her sides. I could watch it 
all day, it's like a soap advertisement. 

But isn't it a pity we don't believe in these gods and 
godlings any more ? they are so pretty. Just think ! 
If I could peep out of my porthole cautiously at sunrise 
and hope to get a glimpse of Aphrodite disappearing up 
to Olympus in rainbow bubbles, or see old Proteus prac- 
tising his impersonation turns before breakfast. Glen 
says he would have made a tremendous hit at a classic 
Tivoli if they'd enterprising managers. He drew a handbill 
with a picture of Proteus riding in a nautilus shell. 

TO-NIGHT ! TO-NIGHT ! TO-NIGHT ! 

PROTEUS THE GOD PROTEUS 

GREAT ATTRACTION OF THE CENTURY 

IMPERSONATES ANY CHARACTER IN HISTORY 

OR MYTHOLOGY 

WITHOUT AID OF DRESS OR MAKE-UP 
OR QUITTING THE STAGE 

DON'T MISS THIS! 



THE LAST EVENING 105 

Glen is a silly boy, but he always makes me laugh. 
Isn't it nice he should know Dolly so well ? I wonder if 
he likes her more than he admits ? 

While we stood leaning on the rail a moonbeam came 
through a hole in the tarpaulin and danced all about 
and over us ; we both tried to catch it, and got dreadfully 
excited over the chase. Can't you put lots of pleasure into 
tiny things ? I'm beginning to believe every atom of 
pleasure you get out of a thing you put into it yourself. 
Joy is just a safe-deposit bank where you get no interest 
It did look so funny when it got on the end of his nose, 
but it never stayed anywhere for a second till it came to 
rest awhile on my hair. 

" At last," said Glen, " it shows good taste." 

I looked at the water and sighed. " You don't know 
how funny it is being consigned like a bale of goods to 
absolute strangers." 

"Is it still worrying you ? " 

" Wouldn't it you ? " All of a sudden I realised how 
like a barnacle I was, somehow prised loose from his whale 
in the middle of the ocean. 

Glen bent close and scanned my face. " If you cry,' 1 
he said positively, " I'm going below." 

Of course he always jests, but somehow I did want a 
little comforting then, and it hurt me. I wanted to say 
coldly that I hadn't any intention of crying, but my throat 
burnt too much. He shot another swift glance at me and 
said quite differently : 

" It's rotten luck, but you're sure to like them, and 
you know we're sure to meet somewhere." 

" Are we ? " I said forlornly. I tried to smile. 

He gave my hand a nice firm grip as we said good-night, 
and remarked casually : 

" Anyway, I'll see you in the morning." 

I'd forgotten that, so I went to sleepj 



CHAPTER V 
First Impressions 

WE got in at the Outer Harbour quite early, and I flew 
up on deck to see Adelaide. I was so disappointed when 
I couldn't. There was nothing but a big shed which Glen 
said was the railway station, and miles of sandhills. It 
would have been depressing if the sea hadn't been so 
very, very blue, and the sun snapping like footlights all 
over it and the shimmering sand. 

" Adelaide's miles inland," Glen assured me ; " you've 
got to catch the train. Don't you go from this forming 
any fancy pictures of the Queen City of the South, or 
you'll be pleasantly disappointed. Adelaide's one of the 
prettiest little cities for its size in the world." 

I had never seen Glen get excited over anything before, 
so I began to feel pleased again. 

At breakfast I could scarcely eat anything. I was 
getting more and more frightened of the Danishes every 
minute. I wanted to run away and hide under my bunk. 
Suppose they didn't want me and were horrid ? Di, it 
was just a most terrible feeling, and I couldn't very well 
explain it to Lucy or Glen without making father seem 
peculiar. But how awful I began to feel as the minutes 
went by and no one appeared, you can never guess. 

I began to wonder if they would come at all, though, 
of course, it was horribly early still. Then Lucy Rees' 
people arrived, and she went home. One by one people 
came on board and collected their goods, but nobody 
claimed me. I felt more deserted every minute. At last 
I said to Glen : "Is anybody coming to meet you ? " 

" Great Scott ! No." He laughed. 
106 



FIRST IMPRESSIONS 107 

" Well, aren't you going ? " I said with an effort, but 
I didn't want to seem to be keeping him; 

" I'm in no hurry." 

" It's awfully good of you," I said on a sudden impulse. 

He looked uncomfortable, but replied : " Women 
always miss trains, you know." 

I let it drop at that ; he dislikes to have it emphasised 
that he is going out of his way to be nice. 

All of a sudden he said : " Here they are ! " 

I turned quickly, and what looked like two girls stepped 
out of the saloon door, one dark and one fair. The steward 
was piloting them along to me. When they got closer 
I saw the dark one was really older, though at first she didn't 
look it. They got closer still, and I did feel shy and awk- 
ward. 

I gave one begging glance at Glen I didn't mean to, 
but I couldn't help it but he only gave me a tiny smile 
and said : " Keep your end up," and then he turned and 
walked a little way down the deck cut of earshot, where he 
leant over the rail and lit a cigarette. 

I couldn't have moved for the life of me, but the fair 
one came right up and said with such a charming 
smile : " Are you Peter ? I'm Dolly, and this is my 
mother." 

" How do you do ? " I said shyly. " It's it's very 
good of you to have me." I raised my eyes from the deck 
and looked at the little dark one. Oh ! she was pretty, 
Di ; her cheeks were little round peaches, and dark baby 
curls crinkled round her ears ; but her eyes were loveliest, 
a sort of grey hazel, like mine, only much more beautiful, 
and full of tears. 

" Peter," she said with a sort of catch in her throat ; 
" oh ! baby Peter." 

I think it was then I fell in love with her. 

" Oh, you are like Jim," she said, laughing through 
her tears ; " that same funny, solemn stare." 

I suppose Jim is father, and then I felt as if I'd loved her 
all my life. 



io8 PETER PIPER 

"Gracious! It's Glen," Dolly broke in suddenly; 
and there he was sauntering towards us. 

" Glen it is," he agreed. " May I come and pay my 
respects ? How do you do, Mrs. Danish ? " 

" Are you on board ? " Dolly inquired. " D'ye know 
Peter ? " 

" Yes to both," he said. " I was just saying good-bye 
to Miss Delaney when you arrived. I guess I'll have to 
be off now." 

"Motor up with us," Dolly promptly invited, 
forgot to say that's why we're late, the busted tyre well, 
that was the identical trouble." 

" Thanks," he said unhesitatingly, " but I'm in a bit 
of a hurry ; I think I'll get the train." 

I watched him go, and wondered why he wouldn't 
come with us. 

" Come up and see us when you're not busy," Dolly 
called after him. " Peter will be glad to see a familiar 
face." 

" Thanks," he called back, lifting his hat again. 

It was very nice of her to think of that ; I wonder 
if he will come. Then we all got into the motor ; it was 
a big red one, and heaven. I had not ridden in one 
before. It seemed as if we were birds flying through 
the air, and Mrs. Danish (she told me to call her Trixie, 
like Dolly does) and Dolly were so nice to me. I think 
I shall like living with them. 

" We took the motor," Dolly explained, " because we 
thought we'd spend the morning driving you round and 
showing you a bit of Adelaide. Would you like it ? " 

" If you please," I said eagerly. 

So they did. We went to town through Largs Bay. 
It was so nice to whiz along with the air stinging faintly 
of salt in your eyes, and the edge of the big ocean, on 
whose heaving old chest we'd been bumping up and 
down for days, to sing good-bye drowsily along the 
beach. 

I was sorry to leave the captain. He shook my hand 



FIRST IMPRESSIONS 109 

heartily when I went to say good-bye to him and said : 
" Good-bye, little god-daughter ; be good." 

He didn't know how sharp his jest was. 

Adelaide is just a beautiful place ; we drove through 
its nice broad streets and past the Parklands. I think the 
big stretches of green bordered with trees look so cool 
and countrified within three minutes of the heart of the 
city. And then the little gardens of scarlet and purple 
dotted among the close-kept lawns and the bank of colour 
on the Torrens side, and the low riot of gold and green in 
the shade of the plane-trees before the Oval. And the 
other beautiful spot by Brougham Place, and the drive 
through the Park under those silenc hanging trees, which 
seem so cold and contemptuous, as if they declined to take 
the least notice of anything so small and insignificant 
as we slipping along in their sun-specked shade. 

We lunched at Arcadia because Dolly said it was more 
amusing than at home, and anyway there would be nobody 
but our three selves at lunch, as the Doctor and Jack 
didn't get home till dinner. 

I loved to sit and look at the crowd, it was full of 
people ; so many pretty girls too. I did just worship 
their frocks. All one bewildering noise and bustle. We 
motored through the Hills all the afternoon, and after 
dinner Dolly sang to us and we went to bed. She has a 
clear, sweet voice. 

Good-night, Di, I'm yawny and sleepy ; I'll tell you 
more to-morrow* 

The house is called " Curranjee." 



CHAPTER VI 
Getting Acquainted 

IT'S to-morrow now I woke up to find the sun con- 
ducting a tour of investigation round my room, so I joined 
in. I felt as much an intruder as he. It's far too lovely 
a room for me ; it's blue and silver-white. A matting 
floor with dark blue rugs, a big blue papa arm-chair and 
a little grandson chair, plain blue wall-paper with a blue 
and silver frieze of swans, blue curtains with a tiny pattern 
in silver across the top and bottom, a hugest huge mirror, 
and all sorts of silver scent-bottles and things on the 
dressing-table, and the washbasin and jug were blue and 
swans, the delicatest, softest shades you ever saw. 

I felt exactly like a powder-puff in a satin box. I 
was glad I had bought some beautiful nightgowns in Perth, 
I didn't feel so out of place. And the very loveliest thing 
of all guess, Di ! 

Outside my window, curving round the corners and 
making the scent sprays curl up and wither in disgust, 
was a big creepery bush of jasmine. I gave a little yell 
of joy, then I gathered as much as I could in my arms 
and kissed it. I have never seen any before, but it was 
always a favourite of mine. The very nicest heroine I 
ever read about in a novel used to love it, and so I said 
I would make it my pet flower too. 

But doesn't it smell like beauty and sadness and 
dreams all in one ? 

While I was wondering if I could ever be unhappy 
again a knock came at the door, and Dolly poked her head 
round. 

izo 



GETTING ACQUAINTED HI 

" You don't mind me, I suppose ? " she said easily, 
following her head by the rest of her. 

" No," I said, feeling rather shy of her but not wanting 
to seem ungracious. " You you are very kind." 

" Not a bit," she commented, curling herself up on my 
bed like a doll, " only curious." 

She sat there and sucked her little finger. Between 
her and Mrs. Danish I began to feel as if I'd tumbled into 
a doll's house. They are both so different, yet both so 
small and self-possessed, you feel as if they ought to be 
babies, but they are not. 

I hadn't had time to study her before properly, so I 
did now, or else it was that the impressions I had been 
gathering all along the line suddenly crystallised. 

You could hardly call her pretty, her mouth is large, 
but she has a nice little tilt at the end of her nose ; and 
when she laughs you forget almost what she looks like, 
you only think she is a nice girl. 

After contemplating me a long time she shook her 
head lugubriously. " My worst fears are realised," she 
sighed. 

" Why what " I stammered. 

She went on without noticing me. " I was afraid 
you might be beautiful ; you're worse than that, you're 
exquisitely pretty." 

" Oh ! " I said, feeling hot. 

" And you can blush," she said ; " this is adding 
insult to injury. Never mind, you'll soon forget new." 

" But Miss Dan " 

" I beg your pardon ! " 

"Dolly, then; I please I " 

" I don't know whether to hate or adore you," she 
went on placidly, not taking the least notice of my uncom- 
fortableness, " but if you promise to leave me at least one 
pal at whose manly shirt front I can weep out my woes 
I'll promise to adore." 

" I don't think you need make fun of me/' I protested, 
a little hurt. 



H2 PETER PIPER 

"I'm not. You'll understand us by and by. As a 
matter of fact I came in here to make you better acquainted 
with the family. I'll answer any questions you like to 
ask. Fire away ! " 

I stared at her helplessly ; of course there were thousands 
of questions I wanted to ask, but I didn't like to. She 
pulled her gown closer round her. 

" Never mind ; of course you're shy. But I'll gratify 
your unuttered curiosity all the same. First of all I'll 
reassure you. There's no more of us than you saw yester- 
day ; we didn't hide any of 'em away in cupboards for 
awhile to break it to you gently. Imprimis, then, there's 
father, and plenty of him, he's the autocrat of the break- 
fast and every other kind of table in the house ; Trixie 
is our baby, I'm the electric button that sets everybody 
else in motion, and Jack I call Jack ' the lover.' ' 

" Oh ! " I said. " Because " 

" Because he's in love, of course. He's got the complaint 
badly, too two girls at once." 

" Oh ! " I said again ; I didn't know what else to say. 

" It's a sad trial having a brother in love, it's worse 
than being in that mournful condition oneself. Naturally 
I have to help, and two is so awkward ; I have to be sweet 
to them in turns, but, instead of loving me for the times 
I help her, each hates me for the times I help the other. 
It's most inconsiderate of Jack." 

But anyone can see she adores him. 

" B-r-r ! " she gave a little shiver. " Well, I must 
run away and dress now, it'll soon be breakfast. I suppose 
you don't want to go out to-day, do you ? I'll show you 
round the place, and to-morrow Trixie's going to take you 
shopping. She's got a list, that requires two able-bodied 
men to lift, of things she intends to buy you." 

" Oh, but," I said awkwardly. " I have an an 
allowance. Father said I was to go to his lawyers. I I 
couldn't let Mrs. Danish 

" Call her Trixie, Peter, as she told you, and don't 
be too stiff and icebergy. You know we're forty-second 



GETTING ACQUAINTED 113 

cousins one hundred and one times removed, or something 
like that, so there's no need for all this ceremony. And 
about the other. You might let Trixie give you things if 
she wants to. Why, her chief joy in life is spending money, 
and she's been looking forward to this ever since she knew 
you were coming. I think you might let us be nice to 
you when we're trying so hard. Of course, if you don't 
like us " 

" Oh dear ! " I said helplessly: 

Dolly smiled approval. " That's a much better frame 
of mind. Well, ta-ta ! See you at breakfast." 

We were all of us much more at home at breakfast, 
and then Dolly and I and Trixie went off to look round the 
place. The Doctor and Jack had gone off to work. Jack 
is a medical student, like Lucy. 

Di, it was like you read about in books. They have 
nine or ten acres round the house, perhaps more ; beautiful 
lawns in front, and flower-beds from a distance look like 
a jeweller's window ; high hedges down which cunning 
twisty paths go, so that you're always losing sight of the 
people in front. 

" It's a marvellous piece of consideration ! " Dolly 
explained. " I'd like to meet the man who laid out this 
garden, he knew that even two and two make four embar- 
rassments." 

Dolly certainly makes you laugh. How beautiful life 
-is for some people ! 

And at the back they have what they call the lily- 
pond. It's a biggish artificial lake overgrown with water- 
lilies, and great clumps of arums gazing coldly at their 
reflections on the edge, and the whole ground near planted 
with gums and willows under which are cunning little seats. 
I fell in love with it at once. I shall often go and sit 
there. 

Oh ! why why didn't father send me earlier, before 

I wonder if they would let me stay if they knew about 
Rex ? Come, Peter, you promised to forget. 

After that we went round the stables and the fowl- 



H4 PETER PIPER 

yards. I enjoyed it immensely. I love animals; there 
was one beauty in the stables who resembled very strongly 
my old Nugget ; I kissed his dear velvet nose. I like 
fowls too ; Emma, Dad Harcourt's housekeeper, used to 
have a few, and she was as proud of them as could be. 
I used to nurse the chickens. 

Trixie says if I like them I shall have a yard all of 
my own ; Wilkins is to let me choose half a dozen hens, 
and I can set them, and do exactly as I please with them. 
Isn't it darling of her ? I think I shall love her so much. 

It seems as if none of them can do enough for me. 
Even Jack brought home a fox-terrier pup to-day. I was 
too surprised to thank him for a minute ; he looks so 
lazy and casual I didn't think he would have bothered to 
do a thing like that. 

When I tried to thank him he just drawled, " Glad 
you like him he's pretty well bred," and cleared. 

The pup's a fat white worm, balanced on four unsteady 
props, and every time you go to pat him he falls over. 
I've named him Foxy Bill. 



CHAPTER VII 
Glen's Party 

Di, I've had the shock of my life. What do you think ! 
Dr. Danish is Trixie's second husband. Dolly and Jack's 
name is Denton. Of course there's no harm in it, only 
again of course it never occurred to me, and somehow 
the idea of Trixie being polygamous or polygandrous or 
whatever it is, seems incongruous. I don't care if these 
words aren't technically right, for they are in feeling ; 
for I don't see your husband is any less a husband because 
he's dead ; he may not exist actually any more, but in 
so far as he had an existence on earth he's in memory 
as he was when he died, and when he died he was your 
husband. 

I know father doesn't approve of second marriages. 
Perhaps Mr. Denton was a great friend of his, and that 
is why he sneered at Trixie. I don't see how he could, 
anyway ; she's a darling, and she is so good to me. They 
get kinder every day. 

My fowl-house and yard will be ready quite soon. I 
am having new ones put up exactly as I want them, and 
I have chosen six hens, brown Leghorns ; Wilkins says 
they are the best layers. One is going broody now ; I 
shall set her. The finest of them all is a big fluffy hen 
with a fierce yellow eye and a dowager dignity ; Jack 
has named her Maria ; Wilkins says she is a fine sitter. 
I spent all this morning pottering round with them. I 
do like fowls. 

Life here is lovely, every day there is something fresh 
to do. I'm not even tired of shopping yet. And it's 
such fun doing the block on Saturday morning. I like to 

113 



ii6 PETER PIPER 

walk down Rundle Street with Dolly; Dolly says she 
likes walking down it with me too, she suns herself in 
the rays of my reflected glory. It's very silly of her to say 
that, but people do look twice at me sometimes, and I 
know it's not because I'm badly dressed Trixie sees to 
that. 

Glen didn't forget about those moving pictures. Wasn't 
it nice of him ? I thought he had. He didn't come near us 
for ages nearly a fortnight, I suppose although Dolly 
had asked him, and I thought he couldn't want to see 
me any more, when one afternoon Dolly came home and 
said : 

" I saw Glen coming back from lecture, Peter ; he wants 
to get up a party and let us go to the pictures. Shall 
we?" 

" How jolly ! " I said. 

" I'll ring up the others, then, and we'll go next Satur- 
day night. He says you and he arranged it on the boat. 
Did you ? " 

" He did say he'd suggest it to you," I answered 
hesitatingly. " But if you don't want to 

" What on earth makes you think that ? It's fun, a 
lot going together ; we'll make up a dozen, that's enough. 
You see, in things of that sort, if there's too few you've 
all got to talk in one little lump and you can't get separated, 
which, if you're fond of one in particular, is dull ; and if 
there's too many you can't get a word across to anyone 
but your partner for the evening, which, unless you are 
particularly fond of him, is dull likewise. Eight or a 
dozen is the happy medium. Let's see, there'll be Ralph 
and Glen and Jack and us, and I'll have to ask one of 
the Dots for Jack, I suppose. I'll have to ask him whether 
it's to be Lavington or Parks this time ; on one dreadful 
occasion I asked Dot Parks without consulting him, and 
there was a temporary coolness in re the other Dot. It 
was an awful night." Dolly fanned herself at the re- 
membrance. " Both of them were furious with me for 
being asked, and the other Dot furious for not being." 



GLEN'S PARTY 117 

She sighed. " It's a trying world ! Well, I'll choose some 
others later. I must go and do philosophy now." 

" What is philosophy ? " I asked. 

" Trying to get yourself to believe nothing ultimately 
exists, or if it does it couldn't logically." 

" Dolly," I said, " do you like studying ? " 

" Of course ; besides, if it gets dull one can always 
adore the professors that's a whole education in itself." 

" But don't you like going out and tennis better ? " 

" I like 'em both," Dolly returned promptly ; " one 
lends a sauce to the other." 

She is a human dynamo, and how she can talk ! 

But Saturday night was fun. After all we went to 
the Dandies, not the pictures. It was such a hot night, 
we all agreed when we met we would sooner go to some- 
thing out of doors. It is easier to talk in the dark too, 
and it was so pleasant to have Glen again. 

He asked me if I was enjoying myself, and when I 
said yes, that he was glad to hear it. 

We were quite shy of each other at first, it seemed 
such a long while since we'd met, but it soon wore off, 
and we were chasing the words off each other's lips. There 
was another girl there who seemed to know him pretty 
well, at any rate she called him Glen, and she kept trying 
to take his attention away from me I'm sure I don't 
know why, for she had a very nice man to talk to herself, 
but on the least excuse she would butt into our conversa- 
tion. Glen answered her politely every time, but every 
time he talked to me again. I was rather pleased. 

Once she asked him how Freda was enjoying herself 
in Paris. Dolly says Freda is his sister. How queer ! 
it never occurred to me before that he must have brothers 
and sisters and aunts, it was always just himself. It is 
almost disconcerting for the moment. He is such a lone 
hand. It seems in the fitness of things he ought to be an 
orphan. Dolly says his people are rather rich. One time 
in the evening I asked rather casually, oh ! ever so casually, 
Di (I'm very much of a girl now), why he hadn't been near 



n8 PETER PIPER 

us yet. He replied for the extremely simple reason he 
hadn't been asked. 

" Dolly asked you on the boat," I contradicted. 

" Oh, that," he said, " was just vague politeness ; I 
haven't been to their place for ages. I can't suddenly 
turn up on that, you know." 

" I see," I said, rather blankly. Then an idea struck 
me. " If Dolly asked you a particular day," I queried, 
studying my handkerchief spread out on my knee, " would 
you come ? " 

" It would depend," he answered gravely, " on the 
day." But somehow our eyes met and we both laughed. 
Then I knew he wanted to come. 

It was rather comic that as we were wishing good-bye 
Dolly should say : "By the way, Glen, if you're doing 
nothing special next Saturday, come up to tea." 

So he's coming. I'm quite looking forward to it. I've 
got an adorable new frock I'll wear. It's blue. He told 
me blue suited me. 

I forgot to say the Dandies were awfully clever ; it 
was a most enjoyable evening. 



CHAPTER VIII 
Glen Comes to Tennis 

I'VE been sitting out in the sun all the morning reading 
by the lily-pond. I love that place, the willows talk to 
me. I read and Foxy Bill conscientiously endeavoured 
to gnaw a button off my shoe. 

I am glad to say his efforts were not crowned with 
success. He's growing so fast you can almost hear him 
doing it, and he paddles round after me everywhere. I 
beat up raw eggs and milk for him, I expect that's why. 
Cook says it's shocking waste for a dog, but Trixie doesn't 
mind. 

I think she is prettier every day, and she is so kind 
to everyone. She is a little selfish, but you can't expect 
her not to be when everybody adores her so. Dolly always 
calls her " Baby "for a pet name, and so do Jack and 
the Doctor. She is much more that to them than their 
mother. I wish she were mine too. Sometimes I almost 
think she is ; you could almost imagine sometimes she 
likes me more than Dolly, only of course it's absurd. 
I don't see why she cares about me at all, but oh ! I 
love to know she does. 

I think I'm too happy to live. I'm going to learn 
dancing to-morrow, they start dances, I mean in a few 
weeks. Some people called Marnham are giving a big 
one on the eighth. I have never met them, but they have 
asked me with Dolly, which is very nice of them. It's 
to be in a marquee on their lawn. I feel horribly excited 
about it all. Me at a dance, Di ! Isn't it a joke ? I'll 
be just like the girls in books I used to read about. 

The only thing is, I did want spangles. Do you re- 
119 



122 PETER PIPER 

I love being up quite early when there's no one about, 
and to watch the things in the garden wake. Everything 
was cold and crisp and the lawns white with frost. It 
was as if the flowers had been having a big dinner-party and 
forgotten to clear away the cloth. They all looked sleepy 
and dissipated too ; one fat daffodil with his stem bending 
under the weight of his cup reminded me of a wobbly, 
legged picture-postcard gentleman with his top hat all 
awry. 

Bill and I raced each other twice round the lily-pond 
to get warm. Bill won by a length, but honesty compels 
me to admit it was because he won't go farther than that 
away from me. I felt ridiculously happy. 

Then I went to see how my fowls were getting on. 
Of course it was too early to feed or do anything for them 
punctuality is most important, Wilkins says, with fowls 
but I sat on the fence and admired them. Did I tell you 
before, my own little yard is all fixed up now ? Maria 
and the other hens are all safely installed. I've got some 
chickens out already, and another on a sitting of ducks. 
I'm going to sell them to the butcher. Trixie thinks it's 
an awful thing to do. But she never stops me doing 
anything I want to ; when she doesn't like it she argues 
till she's tired and then says : " Oh, you are like Jim," 
and then I know I can go straight ahead. 

Apparently there's some use in having had an obstinate 
father. I do think life is so jolly here, everybody is as 
kind as kind. Lucy Rees asked us over to tennis at 
her place yesterday, and we had such a nice time. I'm 
beginning to be able to hit a ball or two now ; they say 
I'm making tremendous progress, but then, of course, 
I've a lot of strength for driving power. 

Glen was quite surprised at my improvement. He 
was there too. Lucy teased me about it ; she said I was 
taming the savage. Of course that was ridiculous ; he 
went to her place because she asked him, and he likes 
tennis. He came home to tea with us after. He has been 
several times; he comes whenever Dolly suggests it in 



TAMING THE SAVAGE 123 

the least. I believe we shall stay friends after all He is 
a very nice fellow indeed, and why shouldn't a man and 
a girl be friends ? 

A lot of men seem to like Dolly, and she says they're 
not in love with her. I think one of the nicest of them is 
one called Ralph Manners ; he is dark, and a clergyman, 
but you'd never think it. He is a sort of forty-second 
cousin, too. 

That is what Trixie tells people I am, but I don't believe 
it. If that's all, why won't she tell me any more about 
myself than father ? She won't, though ; she evades 
questions ever so delicately. Finally she said, " Dear, 
if your father doesn't want you to know things, I can't 
tell you, can I ? " Of course that clinched it. 

Another time she sighed : " You mustn't be too hard 
on Jim, Peter; he's had a sad life, poor boy." 

Fancy calling father a boy ! I nearly laughed. 

He half lives up here Ralph, I mean he simply 
makes me call him Ralph, Di, so you needn't think I'm 
cheeky, and it seems quite the thing with him. He is 
so simply friendly and boyish, I feel more like a brother 
to him than I do to Jack. 

Oh ! everybody's good, and life's adorable, and I'm 
learning dancing. 



CHAPTER X 
Rex Reappears 

Di, I went to church to-day, it's the very first one I've 
been inside, and I did enjoy it. Somehow it made me feel 
good again, like Dad Harcourt used, only he always said 
he didn't believe in church. Trixie screamed when I 
told her ; she said : " Why, you've had no religion given 
you at all, you awful little heathen ! " 

" Yes, I have," I said indignantly. " Dad Harcourt 
taught me the Commandments and ' Our Father.' ' 

" And is that all you ever learnt ? " she said in a 
scandalised tone. 

" Yes," I said a little crossly. " Dad Harcourt said 
that was enough religion to carry any man through the 
world ; if that wouldn't keep him straight nothing in the 
religious life would ; it's quality counts, not quantity." 

" What a peculiar thing to say ! " Trixie said dubiously. 
" Well, of course, I know a lot of people go in for free-think- 
ing now, so you won't be thought odd if you don't go, but 
we have sittings and I should like you to go occasionally 
it looks better." 

" It seems funny to go and talk to God for the look 
of the thing," I objected. 

" My dear Peter," Trixie said, " I wish you wouldn't 
say such extraordinary things. It's all very well to be 
bizarre at times, it's very taking, but it's not nice to jest 
on sacred subjects. Some of us are still old-fashioned 
enough to respect religion." 

" But," I protested, a little bewildered, " I wasn't 
jesting." 

" Very well," she said with a gracious air of over- 
124 



REX REAPPEARS 125 

looking it, ** don't let us say any more about it." Really. 
Di, she is the quaintest little featherhead I ever saw, but 
you can't help loving her, she is so pretty and sweet, for 
all her foolishness. I suppose she was born like it. Dolly 
adores her, though she winked at me as she went out, 
It's funny how you can laugh at anyone quite tenderly, 
and love them all the better for the laugh. The Doctor 
loves her in just the same indulgent way, and so does 
Jack. 

But Dolly and I went this Sunday. It was a dear 
little church. I wanted to go to the Cathedral, but Dolly 
wanted St. Augustine's, because the boy who reads the 
lessons is a divinity student at the 'Varsity and adores 
her. " Think how good-natured it is of me," Dolly urged 
with one of her wicked winks ; "it glorifies the whole 
day for him to see me listening with rapt attention while 
he does his elocution exercises. I feel it my duty to go 
out of pure philanthropy." 

She made me laugh with nonsense like this all the 
way there. It seemed so funny to be dressed in your 
nicest clothes so early on a Sunday morning ; and every- 
body else we passed looked so starched and clean, it made 
you feel like a mental washing-day. I suppose Sunday 
is, for some people. 

It seemed too bad to go inside out of the glorious 
sun-bath, but when your eyes got used to the dimness it 
was so cool and consoling. The lower parts of the windows 
were green glass, and that made such a nice unreal atmo- 
sphere ; and then the lovely stained pictures, where angels 
of the funniest anatomy and big feet played with sheep 
and monograms. There were I.H.S.'s, too, all over the 
place. I asked Dolly what they meant. 

" In His service," she whispered. 

It seems you mustn't talk out loud in church. I asked 
Dolly why, and she said she didn't know. There seems 
such a lot of things in the world people do without having 
a reason. 

I liked all the brass things about the church, too, it 



126 PETER PIPER 

looked like board ship, so clean and shining. There was 
a glorious phoenix reading-desk (that signifies the re-birth 
of the soul, I know, because I read it in some old Greek 
stories), and the sweetest red hanging covered with gold 
crowns, and flowers all round the railed-off part where 
the choir sat. 

I did love the altar with the big bunches of white flowers, 
and the slim candles burning so bravely against the day- 
light, and the dim peace of it all ; it made my eyes feel 
hot and wet and my throat choky ; I wanted to cry 
because I felt so miserable and happy at the same time, 
while the long drawn sigh of the organ quivered and 
sobbed itself to sleep along the star-pointed roof. It 
seemed as if God were whispering to us, telling us not 
to be frightened, He understood ; then all of a sudden 
the walls seemed to be folded in a mist, and I saw big 
gums, and thick brushwood, grey and green in the sunset 
glow like shot silk, and heard old Fran's voice moaning 
in the organ tones " Not'in' matters, Peter, not'in'- 
not me, not you." Oh, God ! if it is true ! A big tear 
gathered in the corner of my eye and splashed down on 
the prayer-book Dolly had lent me, and she looked up 
sharply. 

" Peter," she said in a fierce whisper, " if you're going 
to make an exhibition of yourself in church I'll go out 
and leave you. Can't you behave when you come out ? 
Try and think of something funny." 

I did try obediently, and looked round the church, 
and then my heart gave one jump and stopped perfectly 
still, everything swam in front of me, and I seemed to 
hear a dim little voice miles away from nowhere say, 
" Peter, are you going to faint ? " 

Then she started pinching me viciously in the tender 
part of my arm. The seats were covered at the back 
pretty high up, and no one could see us. Of course that 
brought me back quickly, and I kicked her ankle to pay 
her out. That restored her to good temper. Dolly is 
rather like Trixie in some ways, she does above all things 



REX REAPPEARS 127 

hate a scene in public ; she quite welcomed my kick, 
although it must have hurt her, as showing a return to 
a normal state of mind. 

But who do you think I had seen, Di, sitting near the 
lectern ? 

Rex! 

I didn't dare look again for a long while ; I was in a 
cold perspiration lest he should look up and see me. I 
kept my eyes glued on my feet, and tried not even to think 
of him in case that should make him turn. Then after a 
while my curiosity got too strong for me, and I took another 
peep under my eyelids. I could see him quite well, his 
face was sideways on to me. He hasn't altered. And 
I felt so funny, just as if a sausage machine was where 
my stomach ought to be. Have you ever felt as if you 
ended at the waist ? I am certain if I had tried to stand 
on my legs I could no more have managed them than 
Dolly's. 

I felt suddenly like someone on a mountain might, 
when a volcano breaks out under his feet, to think I can 
never escape from that Peter who died. And I was almost 
forgetting. Perhaps it is wicked to forget, but it was so 
long ago, and no one can be unhappy always when the sun 
shines and people are kind. Oh ! I wish I hadn't-seen him ; 
it brings it all back. I can never meet him ; but suppose 
I have to ? What shall I do, and how will he face me ? 
Would he dare shake my hand and pretend we had never 
met ? And, if we do, we are sure some time to betray 
ourselves by a chance remark. 

It's horrible ! Why must he cross my life again ? 
Peter, Peter ! there'll never be any peace for you till 
you're dead ; and I don't want to die, I can't bear the 
thought of it now. Life could be so glorious if I were 
only like other girls. But they have always been sheltered 
from harm, while nobody cared what became of me. And 
I got my chance just too late. 

After a while I watched him quite calmly and with 
quite a detached sort of feeling, as if he belonged to the 



128 PETER PIPER 

story of some girl in a book. I felt no emotion at all. 
That's queer, isn't it ? I didn't even hate him, only 
whenever he turned or moved a little shudder ran through 
me, just as it always does at a snake or anything creeping. 

To think he may be mixed up in my new life spoils 
everything. It was all so bright and jolly and new, and 
I had almost coaxed myself into believing I didn't belong 
to the old Peter over in the West at all, that I had some- 
how come into existence here, grown up, just as I am. 
In a way they treat me as if I had. 

I feel that there's a mystery somewhere, but no one 
comments on it, and my being here is taken so much as 
a matter of course that I've almost come to take it in 
that light myself, and forget that, over near the setting 
sun, there's scrub, and a tumbling house, and a dead girl 
who casts a shadow round me still. I wonder if Fran 
ever misses me ? 

. . . . And all of a sudden I heard the dean saying : 
" The peace of God which passeth all understanding 
i : . . be amongst you and remain with you both 
now and evermore. A-men." 



CHAPTER XI 
The Tricks Luck Plays 

IT'S Wednesday now, and I've had time to think things 
over. I'm getting back to my reasonable self again, 
but Sunday did shake me up so that, till last night, I 
seemed flung back again to those first dreadful weeks. 
Oh ! why must Rex live in Adelaide, of all places or 
why must I ? 

Peter, when will you learn it's no use complaining 
why, you must handle facts ? Here he is, and here 
you are : now, calmly and sensibly, what are you going 
to do about it ? 

What can I do ? 

Nothing, of course ; sit down and wait for things 
to happen. Oh, whatever's going to come, let it come 
quick ! It's suspense that breaks your nerve. 

I will think it out soberly, I will, and I won't get 
hysterical and silly. It can't be helped now ; but I was 
so happy, and since seeing Rex everything leaves a bitter 
taste in my mouth. Now, Peter, take a grip on yourself ; 
he shan't spoil my life twice. I won't think about him, 
I won't consider him. Why, I may never meet him to 
speak to ; he mayn't be in Dolly's set at all. 

But it's no sense building on that ; I've got to be 
prepared for any tricks my luck may play, even to his 
turning out Dolly's greatest friend. That is rather an 
extreme guess, but nothing is impossible. Still, if she knew 
him well, she'd surely have mentioned him before now. 

But how, how, if we have to, shall we meet ? Well, 
it's no use laying elaborate plans beforehand. I must just 
be guided by circumstances, and him too. How will he 
j 129 



130 PETER PIPER 

take it, I wonder, if he has any notion I am here ? 
he keep his head, or betray us both by his face ? Perhaps 
he won't recognise me again, but I'm afraid that's too 
much to hope. 

I never knew before how much I hated him. I thought 
I was miserable when he left me, but that was mainly 
because I loved him, I wasn't really bitter ; but now I'm 
just beginning to realise what life means, what it's worth 
to a girl, and he he's cheated me of my girlhood. He 
took from me a thing I never knew I had. I'm like someone 
who keeps a piece of glass shut away in an old case ; one 
day the glass is stolen, and then she finds it was a precious 
diamond. 

For it isn't only little Peter Piper, the bush-girl, he's 
ruined now, it's Miss Delaney the debutante. 

Debutante ! me ! oh, what a grim joke ! 

Yes, let's see the funny side. God keep my heart 
always laughing, don't let me get a teary old grumbler., 
After all, I've a very, very great deal more than some 
poor girls to keep me happy. 

I will smile ; it's the best thing to do, isn't it ? It's 
a waste of courage and energy to keep eternally regretting. 
If you've made a blunder once, learn by it not to make 
another. Life seems to me like that egg-and-spoon game ; 
you race along carrying all your hopes on such uncertain 
tenure, and if you drop your china egg you must just 
pick it up and start off again. 

Only I sometimes wonder if my egg wasn't a real one 
and can't be picked up; 

Peter ! that's cowardly: 

Think about the dance ; it's on Friday, only two wee 
days. I never was so thrilled and excited about anything. 
Two days ! and I'll be doing lancers and waltzes and 
oh ! Bill, get up on your hind legs, darling, and let's 
have a waltz. I do hope I won't be a fearful heavy-weight, 
my teacher says I am most satisfactory, and Glen said I 
was all right too. We had a practice up and down the 
veranda last night. 



THE TRICKS LUCK PLAYS 131 

He won't admit he's going on Friday, but I know he 
is at least, I'll have an awful shock if he doesn't. I 
wonder if I'll be a wallflower ; of course I don't know many, 
but Dolly says she'll look after me. It will be disappointing 
if I don't have a good time. 

That's the worst of anticipating so much, you can't 
enjoy a thing twice. You've used up all its thrill before 
you get it ; but it doesn't matter, after all, whether you 
get the pleasure before or at the time, does it, so long as 
you do get it ? Then, according to your way of looking 
at it, Peter, you've enjoyed Markhams' dance immensely, 
thank you. 

And, Di, you should see my frock. I must describe it 
to you carefully ;. I know you won't be bored ; what 
girl could be bored by a frock ? Then it's charmeuse 
satin, clinging, glisteny stuff, made quite plain. I'm to 
wear a wide white band across my hair with a kinky 
cheeky rosette over one ear, and carry a wee bunch of 
jasmine. Dolly wanted me to have a proper coming-out 
bouquet, but I wouldn't, so the jasmine is a compromise. 
The feel of the long kid gloves crinkling up your arms is 
just heaven, and I've darling white satin shoes. Dolly says 
they'll only last twice, and I'd best get kid ones then, the 
satin work out so terrifically expensive. Only two more 
days, Di! 

Ralph came up last night with Glen too ; he and 
Dolly seem tremendous pals, though she teases the life 
out of him for being a curate. But he just smiles blandly 
and goes one better. We four had quite a jolly little party 
on our own. 

Jack scarcely ever puts in an appearance ; he is either 
shut up in his ro )m, studying, or out with one of the Dots. 

I rather like Dot Parkst 



CHAPTER XII 
Fate's Latest Joke 

Di, I've so much to tell you I simply don't know where 
to start, so. for once, just to surprise you, I'll start at the 
beginning and work through. 

It began with dressing for the dance. My frock looked 
even nicer than I had hoped, and Trixie was as proud 
of me as if I'd been a picture she had painted I wasn't 
painted, of course. 

She had given me for a coming-out present the exquisitest 
necklace and earrings of aquamarines, lying on my throat 
they did look like drops of sea-water trying to trickle 
down from their gold bonds ; and the way the stones 
twinkled from my ears at every movement of my head 

Dolly looked me up and down, then said : " Peter, 
I'm proud to take you out." And that was the nicest 
of all. 

Ralph didn't come to the dance lots of people think 
a clergyman shouldn't, so he's had to give it up but he 
came round to see me dressed and told me I looked great. 
I think in his own mind, though, he thought Dolly looked 
nicer. She had a pinkety muslin on, split at each side, 
and tied up with great care and neatness by dozens of 
vivid cerise bows, very small and prim and proper, and a 
cerise bandage round her head. 

Ralph wanted to know if we were taking precautions 
against headache. 

My heart went like an electric car all the way there, 
but once we got inside the marquee it was all too beautiful 
to have time to think about myself. The whole room 
was done in scarlet, and Dolly with a sigh of dismay told 

132 



FATE'S LATEST JOKE 133 

me I was a lucky beggar to be in white. " You look like 
like " She hesitated for a comparison. 

" A dewdrop in Sheol," Jack drawled. " Are you 
going to dance with me, Peter ? " 

" If you want me to," I said. " Jack, do you know 
what it all reminds me of, these dark-coated men and 
the pink-and-white girls ? a whole host of willie- wagtails 
hopping round a hawthorn bush." 

" You've a diseased imagination," Jack told me. 
" How's your programme ? " 

He and Dolly were such bricks to me, they kept intro- 
ducing people to me. 

" Dolly," I said once, " I wish you'd ask them first 
if they want to meet me ; I hate to feel perhaps they're 
being pushed on to me whether they want to or not. Mr. 
Morris says " 

" Oh, Glen, as usual ! " Dolly said ; " how many have 
you got with him ? " 

" Only three," I answered. 

" Anyway," said Dolly, " you're not the sort of girl 
any man minds meeting. When will you get some conceit ? 
I say, you're not full yet, are you, Peter ? Keep a dance ; 
I haven't introduced you to the pick of the bunch. I 
call him Hercules. I wish the old idiot would hurry up. 
Surely he's coming." 

" No, you can't have a dance ; I'm awfully sorry- 
booked right up." 

Dolly turned away to chat with the new-comer, and 
then for the second time I saw Rex. 

I never moved a muscle this time. I felt fatalistic. 
The meeting had to come sooner or later, why not sooner ? 
So I stood and looked at him. His great shoulders marked 
him out from the other men ; he was standing still, too, 
his gaze roving round the room as if he were looking for 
somebody. His gaze came our way, nearer, nearer, 
nearer I swallowed hard nearer then our eyes met ! 

And then I grew perfectly calm. I stared on unblink- 



134 PETER PIPER 

I saw him take one slow deep breath, and then he looked 
like a stone image. Men pushed and bumped against 
him in the moving press, he heeded them no more than 
flies. He just stared back. 

I don't know how long we stood like that. I suppose 
it was only a few seconds it seemed lives. Then he 
stepped forward. He pushed his way through the press 
like a sleep-walker, for his eyes never left mine. He bumped 
against a girl once ; he didn't stop to apologise or even 
seem to notice her, though the look she gave him was naked 
murder. He came straight on. 

Then, when he was only a few feet from me I took 
my eyes away ; I let them travel slowly down to his feet, 
and then back again to the top of his head, without a 
glimmer of recognition, and then, in a lazy, uninterested 
way, turned my back. 

At that second I heard Dolly give a little squeal of 
delight " Rex, you beast ! where have you been all 
this time ? What do you mean by turning up so late ? 
I've been fighting all the evening to save you two dances 
from these ravening wolves, and I'm not sure now I'll 
give them to you. They're six and fifteen put them 
down. How did you enjoy Sydney ? Oh, and I want 
to introduce you to my cousin. Peter, this is Mr. Ware, 
Miss Delaney." 

I had to turn round. 

Dolly's voice rattled on " I made her save you one, 
so I know she's got it ; which is it, Peter ? " 

I was still folded round in that tremendous calm 
I suppose I was too excited for excitement and I smiled; 
There was no way out of the trap for either of us. 

" The fourteenth, Dolly," I said clearly. If I had only 
guessed who Dolly's Hercules was ! For a moment I 
suffered agonies ; if his voice should break or he should 
anything ! But he was as quiet as I. 

" Thank you," he said, writing it on his card. And 
then the first waltz started. 

I enjoyed myself <ioes that sound funny ? but I 



FATE'S LATEST JOKE 135 

did, I enjoyed myself madly, wildly, with the recklessness 
of relief. At last it was over, the dreaded meeting, and 
we had kept our wits, and no one knew ! And the music 
was maddening, and the floor like orange-peel, and there 
was the chink of glasses, and laughter, and lace, and 
tumbling hair; and men said silly things about my eyes 
and feet. 

How could I help being happy ? But aU the time the 
little number fourteen was humming at the back of my 
brain, and all the time I was planning how to get out of 
it without attracting attention and letting Dolly notice. 
He didn't seem to dance much, he stood in the doorway 
a lot of the time with others, and I could feel his eyes 
follow me round the room. 

I thought at the end of the thirteenth I would tell my 
partner I had torn my dress, and go to the dressing-room 
straight instead of back to the marquee. It seemed so 
stupid to have to go and sit out a whole dance by myself, 
but dance it with him I would not ! 

But after all I had luck. The thirteenth was with 
Glen, and we went for a walk in the garden. When the 
music started, Glen took out his programme and looked 
at it, then he looked at the bushes round and said regret- 
fully : " I suppose you've got a partner for this ? " 

I hesitated a minute. " No, I haven't," I said. It 
wasn't really a lie, because I hadn't got a proper partner 
no one of use to me, anyway, because I didn't intend 
to dance with him. 

" What a bit of luck ! " Glen said. " Shall we sit 
here, then ? You don't want to gambol it, do you ? " 

" No," I replied ; so we sat. 

It was most enjoyable. We went in late to the next 
dance too, and when we arrived Rex was dancing it with 
Dolly. So that was safe for the evening. 

Glen was very nice all night ; his eyes smiled across the 
room as soon as we came in, and he came to U3 at once 
and booked dances before he asked anyone else. But 
tangles will never cease ; every day things of the past I 



136 PETER PIPER 

thought I had loosened seem to knot round me more 
tightly. What do you think is Fate's latest joke, Di ? 
Rex is Glen's partner. Their firm is Morris, Ware, and 
Harris. He has a tremendous admiration for him, too, 
and Glen doesn't seem to admire many people. 

There's only one thing more. When we got home 
Dolly said to me : 

" Well, what do you think of Hercules ? " She didn't 
wait for a reply. " Isn't he magnificent ? All the girls 
rave over him, but he's the nicest old boy I know, in spite 
of it. We're very old pals. He's been away in Sydney 
several months on business or j'ou'd have met him before. 
He's always up here." 

" Oh ! " I said blankly. 

" But what on earth did you slip him up for ? " 

I considered a moment. " Mr. Morris and I were out 
in the garden," I replied, " and when we came back the 
music had nearly finished." This was the truth, if not 
the whole of it. 

" Little silly ! " said her yawning ladyship. " You 
don't know what you missed." 

Don't I, though! 



CHAPTER XIII 
Dolly is Puzzled 

THERE'S a lot in that motto, " All things come to him 
who waits." At least, I mean things you thought would 
be downright unfaceable have a way of adjusting them- 
selves ; they turn out quite naturally after all. I shall 
give up worrying about things in future. Look how I 
had dreaded meeting Rex again, and yet it seemed natural 
and easy enough when I did. 

And he came to tea last Saturday, too. He was out 
to tennis in the afternoon with Glen and several others. 
When Dolly told me he was coming, a sort of disgusted 
fury boiled up in my throat first. Was he going to per- 
secute me ? Surely he might have the common decency 
to stay away from places where I was ; he must know 
the very sight of each other was horrible. 

But then my sense of fair play surged on top. After 
all, I couldn't expect him to cut himself loose from all 
his old friends simply because I happened to have learnt 
to know them too. Besides, to avoid me obviously, would 
that not be the very way to cause comment ? No, there 
was nothing for it but to make up my mind to meet him 
everywhere and show him the civility I would a chance 
stranger. 

And, to be honest, I must admit he made it no harder 
for me than he could help. He did not come near me or 
speak to me except when he had to. But he kept staring 
at me ; I could feel it wherever I went ; his gaze burnt 
itself into my consciousness. Once, when I looked up 
and met his glance, I frowned and turned to talk to Glen, 
and I saw him flush red. He flushed once again when I 

137 



i 3 8 PETER PIPER 

was chosen to play tennis with him ; I said I was tired 
and wasn't going to play any more. I should not have 
done that it was unnecessary, since I would have scarcely 
had to speak to him ; and stupid too, for it woke up 
Dolly. 

I wonder what she can see in him to like so much ? 
My dear, how funny that looks, but I meant, on what could 
she found a reasoned, cordial affection ? Of course I 
loved him, but that was a girl's first romantic passion that 
the first lover come can wake. He cannot merit honest, 
sincere esteem that weighs and judges, and yet Dolly is 
fond of him, and she is no fool. 

But I wish she wouldn't insist on me sharing her admir- 
ation. She said to me on Saturday night : " Peter, my 
opinion of your taste has reached a minimum quantity." 

" Oh ! " I said. 

Dolly reached for another chocolate and closed her 
eyes in dreamy appreciation. 

" Strawberry," she said, " don't you love them with 
jam in the middle ? You have an irritating habit, Peter, 
of always using an exclamation instead of an interrogation 
mark in conversation. It's so discouraging." 

" Is that why you deprecate my taste ? Find me a 
strawberry one, Dolly ; it's time we both went to sleep." 

" That's why we don't do it sensible things are 
always so unpleasant. No, it's because you don't appre- 
ciate Rex Ware." 

I hunted earnestly in the chocolate box. " Peccavi ! " 
I said. 

" Why wouldn't you play tennis with him, or talk to 
him after tea ? " 

" For the simple reason this is a strawberry, too 
there were other people I knew better, and liked to talk 
to more. Why do you poke your Hercules at me ? " 

" I'm disappointed," Dolly confessed ; " I had some- 
how made up my mind you two would get on together. 
I feel as if an a = b had suddenly turned to a+b Q t 
which is absurd. Anything absurd annoys me, and algebra 



DOLLY IS PUZZLED 139 

can't make mistakes. I must have worked it out wrong. 
You ought to like each other why don't you ? " 

Dolly is nothing if not persistent. 1 yawned. 

" Go to bed," I replied. 

Dolly folded her gown firmly round her. " Why 
wouldn't you be civil to him ? " 

" Ask me something easier," I said lightly. And indeed 
there were few questions Dolly could ask that wouldn't 
have been easier to answer. 

" I can understand unreasoning antagonism when it's 
mutual," Dolly mused, her chin sunk in her knees, " but 
Rex takes an interest in you." 

" How kind of him ! " I said. 

" Don't sneer, Peter, it's cheap. Rex does not in- 
dulge in curiosity, but he certainly well, encouraged me 
to talk about you the other night: He thinks you 
beautiful." 

" I suppose you invited him to say so ? " 

" Perhaps I did " Dolly is honest, anyway " but 
he meant it. It's exasperating of you, Peter, to go brushing 
your hair like that silly Charlotte person who always 
kept on cutting bread and butter whatever happened. 
There's lots of girls in Adelaide who'd think themselves 
luckj' if he'd bother to ask a question or two about them. 
Let me tell you, Rex is one of Adelaide's eligibles." 

" I hate that word, Dolly," I snapped ; " it's vulgar ! " 

" Common sense is always vulgar. And he's a darling, 
too. Let's hope your perceptual level of intelligence will 
improve." (Dolly is studying psychology at present, and 
the family have to put up with language like this.) She 
yawned abruptly, " Good-night," and went. 

I sat a long while thinking. I rather enjoyed that spar 
with Dolly. I like to dance on the edge of a precipice, 
there's a certain exhilaration in danger. If only the 
danger wasn't just the sort it is. I must be polite to 
him, though. Oh, how can I act the hypocrite ? Must 
I all my life smile and he and cheat ? I suppose it's part 
of my punishment. 



140 PETER PIPER 

Foxy Bill is whimpering outside my window. A soft 
little wind is trying to go to sleep in the jasmine, and 
whimpering, too, because it can't. Oh ! we're all very 
tired and sick of it all, so we'd better go bye-bye like 
sensible children instead of crying and getting crossi 

Good-night, Billy-boy* 



CHAPTER XIV 
Dolly Gives it Up 

I DON'T know why I'm talking to you to-day, Di, for I've 
nothing particular to say. Nothing of note has happened 
unless you'd count a letter from father. It's the first 
time he has condescended to remember my existence 
since I left, although I've written to him several times. 
There wasn't particularly much in it, either. To be precise, 
it said, " Glad you're having a good time ; if you want 
more money, say so. J. DELANEY." Short and, for father, 
sweet. 

But I don't know I've got a talkative mood on like 
I used to get ages ago, and there's no one to talk to. Dolly 
is at the 'Varsity at one of her old lectures, and Trixie is 
gardening. This is a sacred occupation with her, and she 
allows no outside distraction. I watched her for a while. 
I'm sitting in the veranda ; she was kneeling in the carna- 
tion bed, and she just looked the biggest of them herself. 
She always wears a pink zephyr dress when she's gardening, 
and a huge hat lined with pink, but on her hands are a 
most business-like pair of gloves, and a pair of clip-cutter 
things slung at her waist. Trixie in her gardening rig 
spells W-O-R-K all capitals. I wish I were as adorable 
as she. 

Bill is playing with the kitten. We call it Persian 
because when it first came we thought it was one ; however, 
it turned out a common tabby. Bill is enjoying himself 
hugely ; he chases it and pretends to chew it up, and the 
kitten squeals in an affected falsetto and tenderly pats 
his nose with her paw. 

In the paddock over the road there's a man ploughing: 



142 PETER PIPER 

I seem to be the only idler. His blue shirt makes such a 
pretty spot of colour against the dun ground and the 
brown and grey of the horses. They are such beautiful 
big-limbed creatures ; I can see their muscles strain when 
they get up our end. 

I feel like a tin of condensed laziness. It reminds me 
of a funny old poem I read ages ago. I only remember 
the first lines, they go something like this. It's supposed 
to be the soliloquy of an old tramp ; he sits on a fence 
and drawls : 

'* I wish I was like the rocks, 

Doin' nothin' all the day : 

Wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, 

Wouldn't even breathe." 

That last appeals to me " wouldn't even breathe " ; 
it expresses the last absolute glorious limit of peacefulness. 
I nearly go to sleep just thinking about it. 

It's quite a long while since we had a yarn, but I'm 
always flying round so hard I scarcely seem to get a 
minute in which to think. It's either tennis parties, or 
shopping, or dances, or the theatre, or picnics, or half 
a dozen other ways of wasting time. Glen calls me " the 
butterfly " now. I've been to ever so many dances since 
I last wrote, and each one is nicer than the one before. 

I love the music and the motion of it, and the delightful 
feel of skill when you just manage to avoid a bump from 
someone else as you whirl through the press, and your 
feet tingle ; and the swish of the frocks, and the nice 
sniffy whiff of the powder on the girls' shoulders ; and to 
watch them look sideways with their eyes, and the men 
bending right up close. 

I wonder what's the matter with mine ; ever so many 
men have told me I've got wicked eyes. They didn't 
mean to be rude, Di, it's intended as a compliment. I 
got angry with the first man, and he was so surprised. 
One partner asked me if I knew how to spell my mouth. 
He said it was t-e-m-p-t-a-t-i-o-n. 



DOLLY GIVES IT UP 143 

It's such fun being talked to like girls in books. I 
could enjoy all of it even if I could only sit still and 
look on, but to be actually in and a part of it words 
are no use. 

Nothing can damp my joy, not even Rex. He goes 
about a good deal, and we are obliged to meet often ; 
sometimes we have to even talk to each other, and I feel 
hot and cold all over, but social veneer is a wonderful 
thing when you've learnt it ; no one would know we were 
anything but the most courteous of acquaintances. 
But lying makes me sick. 

He often comes up to our place, too. Dolly, you see, 
is very fond of him, and so is the Doctor. It is fairly easy 
to avoid him in my own place, being hostess ; if we get 
near each other accidentally, I can always get up and dash 
away to amuse someone else without it being noticed 
except by Dolly. Her eyes are like cameras, ,they 
record everything, and when she's developed up her 
negatives in the room of dark and deep meditation she 
comes and holds forth to me. And I daren't say more than 
just that he doesn't amuse me. 

You should see the wattle-tree, it has no flowers on at 
this time of the year, but it waves its smudgy, silvered- 
green foliage to and fro in the air like a lady toying with 
a fan. You'd laugh at its languid air of boredom. The 
very shadows look as if they couldn't be bothered to move. 
Even the flies buzz half-heartedly. 

I'm going to sleep sleep sle 

Gracious, no ! I'm not. I was going to tell you 
about the theatre last night. Ralph wanted to take Dolly, 
and Dolly didn't want to go alone with him people do 
chatter so if they see you sitting in state by yourself, 
two-not-under-an-umbrella style so he diplomatically 
suggested to Glen that he might take me, and the four 
of us went, the idea not being displeasing to His 
Serenity. 

It was such fun going ! We saw lots of people we 
knew, of course. The girl who tried to take Glen away 



144 PETER PIPER 

from me at the Dandies was there, and how she did tele- 
scope me ! 

The play was called The Hypocrites. It was beautifully 
told, and it gave me such a queer feeling of comfort, and 
yet it hurt me worse than anything ever has since. I 
didn't realise girls like us were despised so much. Nobody 
seemed to think the girl was fit for anything else but to 
marry the man who had betrayed her, and she she asked 
him to marry her. Why, I would die first ; he would be 
the one man in the world I would never marry ! I could 
never forgive him. Besides, neither of you could ever 
forget, and to have that always between you like a mocking 
ghost from the past 

But she was very beautiful, that girl, and you couldn't 
help feeling glad he did marry her, if that would make 
her happy. Besides, she was going to have a baby 
perhaps that makes you feel different. 

The funniest thing in the play was, you couldn't help 
feeling sorry for the man too ; he seemed to really love 
her, and yet, if he did, how could he bear to desert her 
so cruelly ? His people wanted him to marry another 
girl, and he nearly did too. 

Men are incomprehensible. 

I wonder if Rex has seen the play ? Wouldn't it have 
been queer if he had been there the same night as we 
were ; I didn't see him, but he might have been. 

I shan't think about it any more. I'm going to get 
flat on that lawn and let the sunshine soak through and 
through till it soaks my whole mind and body with its 
liquid gold and drives out all the black thoughts and 
cobwebby remembrances that try to get a corner there. 
And if I get freckles and freckles I don't care. 

Rex's eyes fidget me sometimes. He doesn't speak to 
me, but he is always looking at me. It doesn't matter 
where he is in the room, sooner or later I feel his eyes on 
me. That's the annoying part ; I'm always conscious of 
them, but yet his face is always like a mask, beautiful 
and expressionless, but his eyes somehow look as if he had 



DOLLY GIVES IT UP 145 

a pain at the back of them. I wonder if he is sometimes 
sorry ? 

Dolly notices, too. " Peter," she said, " I give it up. 
You and Rex are a problem past me ; he gazes after you 
with a look in his eyes like a smacked baby, and yet he 
doesn't even ask you to dance. You like difficult game, 
Peter ; two of the unattainables already at your heels, 
the woman-hater and the woman-conqueror." 

" Dolly, don't ! " I pleaded. 

In a second Dolly was all seriousness. " My darling 
kid, I wouldn't hurt you for the world. Can't you tell 
me what it is, Peter ? " 

I do wish I couldj 



CHAPTER XV 
Logic 

LAST Tuesday Glen motored up to see me ; his people 
have two beautiful cars Ralph came too, so we all 
went out on the lawn and talked. Ralph and Dolly 
stayed with us, for a wonder generally they go away 
by themselves. 

I'm almost sure Ralph's falling in love with Dolly. 
I wish he would, he's such a nice fellow. You wouldn't 
think he was a bit religious. 

Jack, as usual, was out with one of the Dots. I wouldn't 
like to be one of them, I think it's horribly undignified 
to fight for a man. 

Glen was rather silent for him. He is beginning to be 
queer at times now. Sometimes I think he is getting 
a little tired of me. And when he has one of his 
prickly moods on it always affects me and makes me 
silent too. So we turned our attention to Ralph and 
Dolly. 

" You can make her let you come ? " Ralph was saying. 

"No, I can't," Dolly replied. " Trixie objects to 
Sunday picnics. It's a remnant of respectability." 

" But it's my only free day," Ralph urged, " and my 
last one. Just a wee one, Dolly, only a cabload of 
us. What more harm is there in a day spent in God's 
fresh air than in sitting home reading a rubbishy novel ? 
Besides, think what an odour of sanctity my cloth lends 
to it." 

" That's the point ; Trixie'll be more scandalised than 
ever." 

146 



LOGIC 147 

" Tackle her with your convincing logic," Ralph 
advised. 

" Now," said Dolly, " you are merely absurd. Logic's 
no use except in classrooms. Do you suppose a 
woman " 

" In the case ? " 

" Of course "Dolly's nose sought the stars " if 
you're going to be ridiculous 

" I'm not ; I've been. Do go on." Ralph wriggled 
his back more comfortably into the curve of the chair 
and gazed at Dolly with frank enjoyment. She was pleasant 
to look at, I had to admit it myself ; Glen seemed to think 
so, too. 

" You see it's this way." Dolly's face began to light 
up, as it always did when she got one of her philosophising 
moods on. " The eternal conflict between practice and 
theory. Logic is like a beautiful gimlet floating in the 
air ; then it wants to get its way into someone's head, 
and it bores and bores 

" Lord, how it does bore ! " Glen agreed with a 
yawn. 

" Until it blunts its point and dies of a broken 
heart." 

" Really, Dolly," Glen expostulated, " your meta- 
phors " 

" Shut up ! " Dolly ordered ; " I'm talking. You 
see, logic only shows its cleverness at deductions ; the 
major premise is what mankind squabbles over, and 
that logic always has to take for granted. To explain 
myself 

" Which would be utterly to destroy your charm, 
Dolly." 

" Oh ! muzzle him, Peter," Dolly snapped. " I'm 
talking to Ralph." 

Ralph shut one eye and gazed at a cloud of smoke. 
" Please go on," he murmured. 

" I mean to. Now, the two things logic fairly tears 
its hair over are Petitio principii and Grculus " 



M8 PETER PIPER 

" Amo amas, I love a lass," Glen trilled. "Come 
off your perch, Dolly. Haciendas, senor. Parlez-vous 
francais ? " 

" Circulus in probando. And these two are the whole 
stock-in-trade of the ordinary arguer." 

" It sounds deadly ammunition," Glen ventured. 

" The first fallacy is dearly beloved of lawyers." 

" Never heard of it. Cross my heart," Glen de- 
clared. 

" It's begging the question, assuming the answer you 
are trying to find. As thusly : Scene, a court-room, 
fierce judge, fiercer counsel, witness trembling for his 
reputation. 

" Counsel (savagely) : ' Have you given up drink ? ' 

" Witness (indignantly) : ' I never 

" Counsel : ' Have you or have you not ? ' 

" Witness : ' I said before ' 

" Counsel : ' Pardon me, sir, you did not.' 

" Judge : ' You must answer counsel's question.' 

"Witness: 'Why, I I ' 

" Counsel : ' Come, sir, a plain answer to a plain question 
have you given up drink ? ' 

" Witness (desperately) : ' But I tell you ' 

" Counsel : ' Yes or no ? ' 

" Judge : ' You are wasting the court's time, sir.' 

" Counsel (thundering) : ' Yes or no ? ' 

" Witness (who has been a blue-ribbonite from his 
youth up) : ' No that is, yes.' 

" Whisper round the court-room : ' Hypocrite ! Then 
he did drink in secret. Scandalous ! ' 

" Counsel glares round triumphantly, and witness sees 
his reputation gone for ever." 

" Splendid, Dolly ! what a cross-examiner was wasted 
in you ! " Glen drawled. " How about joining our 
firm?" 

" I'm rather particular," Dolly replied. 

" Such a commonplace retort," he said ; " it is un- 
worthy of you." 



LOGIC 149 

" I always," Dolly replied, " endeavour to bring my 
repartee down to the level of my listeners." 

" But the circle arrangement ? " Ralph the peacemaker 
interposed. 

"I'll give you an example of that," Glen volunteered : 
" it's positively unanswerable. 

" I love Dolly. 

" Why do I love DoUy ? 

" Because Dolly loves me. 

" Why does Dolly love me ? 

" Because I love Dolly." 

"Of all shameless cheek, blatant un veracity, and 
incomprehensible 

" It's a wonder, Dolly," Glen said reproachfully, 
" that that mouth of yours doesn't widen to a cavern 
considering the size of things that come out of it." 

" Bulk is the only thing that seems to impress un- 
developed minds," Dolly sniffed. 

" Too deep." Glen wiped his brow. " Let's clean 
up the slate and start again. Also it's a heavenly night 
for a spin my motor's outside who'll come ? You, 
Dolly, or Miss Delaney ? " 

" Not I ! " Dolly said promptly. " I've had enough 
quarrelling for to-night." 

" Miss Delaney ? " A hot little gulp caught in my 
throat ; to ask me second-hand ! 

" No thank you," I answered guiltily. 

" Why ? " He looked at me through half-shut lids. 

" You're riled with me what about ? Oh ! A 

look of comprehension began to dawn in his eyes. 

" Rubbish ! " I said, furious with myself for my little- 
mindedness, and furious with him for divining it. " I'm 
only tired. I'll come." 

He tucked me nicely in without a word, and off we glid. 
I think " glid " is the only word for a motor on an asphalt 
road. I leant back and looked up at the stars, and the 
wind blew little kiss-curls round my eyes ; it was so hot 
I hadn't bothered to put a hat on. Every now and then 



i5o PETER PIPER 

I felt him watching me. I felt yes, I will tell you, 
Di I felt as if he wanted to kiss me. I wonder if 
he did ? 

I felt awfully snappy, ready to bite his head off the 
first word he said, but he didn't say it ; and from feeling 
cross because I thought he would talk I got to feeling 
cross because he wouldn't. I don't know whether Dolly's 
logic could have explained it. At last I said : " Have 
you been well brought up ? " 

" I don't know," he said, a little surprisedly. " Why ? " 

" Because you never speak unless you're spoken to." 

" Oh ! " he said, and again bent over the steering 
wheel. 

Trees and houses and rose-bushes slid by like moon- 
flecked shadows, and the road wound itself up behind us 
like a reel of cotton ; we were away up round Paradise by 
this time. I love motoring, just the sheer motion of it ; 
the breeze is like champagne, and the speed like brandy. 
My ill-humour blew away, and I got rather a surprise 
when in the middle of my dreaming he began awkwardly, 
" I say." 

I gazed inquiringly at him, but he carefully looked 
anywhere but at me. 

" You you don't suppose I care about Dolly really, 
do you ? I everyone talks tripe like that sort well, 
a fellow couldn't say things like that if he cared, do you 
think ? " 

" How should I know ? " I said indifferently. I saw 
his chin stick out, so I added : "I didn't suppose I 
just you oh ! really," as he turned another corner I was 
glad of a chance to change the subject, " don't you think 
we'd better go home ? " 

" Think Dolly and Ralph will be missing us ? " he 
laughed. " Looks as if those two are going to fix things 
up, don't you think ? " 

" I'm sure I don't know," I said. " Dolly's change- 
able, but she does seem to like him a bit. But a clergy- 
man *' 



LOGIC 151 

" Hardly Dolly's style," he agreed. " I've got no time 
for them myself, but Ralph's rather a sport for a flat -hat. 
And whatever Dolly means to do I reckon he's caught. 
Poor brute ! " he added. 

" Why poor brute ? " I was a bit nettled. Some- 
times I get a bit sick of the way Glen jibes at marriage, 
because I know Perhaps I don't. 

Glen didn't answer my question, he pursued his own 
train of thought. " You know, I can't understand a fellow 
being as daft over a girl as Ralph seems ; I could never 
lose my head like that." 

" That's a sign of weakness, not strength," I 
said. 

" But women don't like you," he argued, " if you let 
them see they can walk all over you. A pal of mine told 
me the way to make a woman like you is to pretend to 
be indifferent to her." 

I sniffed. He stole a glance at my profile. 

" What do you think of it ? " 

"It's like all maxims," I said, " more of a he because 
of the truth in it. At the beginning, if a man is truly 
indifferent to a woman, it may pique her to interest ; but 
if, after he has won her liking, he attempts to cement it 
that way, one of two things will happen. If he acts badly 
she will see through his pretence and feel a mild contempt 
for him plus amusement ; if he does it well enough to 
deceive her, and she's at all a self-respecting girl, her 
pride will make her choke down her liking for him instead 
of encouraging it." 

" Hum ! " Glen commented. 

" You," I said disdainfully, " are a cold-blooded fish." 

He gave a queer little smile. " So you think me cold- 
blooded ? " 

" Either you are or pretend to be," I retorted ; " some- 
times I think one, sometimes the other. One thing 
certain, I'll be jolly sorry for your wife." 

" I'll make a jolly good husband," he said, " if I ever 
make one at all, which is improbable." 



152 PETER PIPER 

" Have you got such an objection to marriage ? " I 
asked curiously. 

" No, only to my marriage." 

The motor chug-chugged a few hundred yards before 
either of us spoke again, then he inquired : " Why would 
you be sorry for my wife ? " 

" It's hard to explain," I said thoughtfully. " You're 
so so " 

" I'm not sensitive." 

" Well, so self-centred and selfish. I don't mean 
horridly selfish, you know ; just that you're absorbed in 
your work and your interests, and a woman would be to 
you merely one of the latter. You'd be awfully nice to 
her, I know, whenever you remembered her existence, but 
half the time you wouldn't, and when you suddenly woke 
up to the fact you had a wife it'd give you an awful shock." 

He laughed, a real merry laugh that startled a pair 
of lovers under a pepper tree. 

" You're right," he agreed, " it would be a shock." 

Somehow his acquiescence grated on me, and I leant 
back on the cushiony seat. " You're too utterly stupid 
for anything to-night," I said petulantly. " I don't like 
you a bit." 

" That's bad luck," he said, " since my chief aim in 
life is to please you." The words were spoken lightly, 
almost mockingly, but at the same time he gave me a 
funny glance from his eyes sideways that somehow robbed 
them of any offence, indeed they seemed to say Di, 
I do wish I knew how much he liked me. He must a 
little bit, but I wish he wouldn't be always saying such 
nasty, sneery, cynical things. 

I still felt a bit vindictive, though, so I replied : " I 
read yesterday that half-shut eyes like yours denote 
shrewdness but lack of sincerity." 

" I admit the second," he said. 

" Which proves," I retorted, " you lack the first." 

" I am very young," he said humbly ; but the afore- 
mentioned eyes danced. 



LOGIC 153 

I wish my eyes had gold spots in them. 

Life is very perplexing. But I do hope Trixie lets 
us go for that picnic. It would be so nice. And Ralph's 
got to go away for a few weeks, too. We must make 
Jack tackle her. 

I wonder which Dot he'll take ? 



CHAPTER XVI 
Two Eyes of Grey 

I DID have fun yesterday. My hen deserted her ducklings 
as soon as they came out, so I kept them in a basket for 
a couple of days, wrapped up in flannel. But this morning 
was so fine I put them out in the sun in the back-yard, and 
for greater safety from cats and so forth I fetched Maria 
down from the fowl-yard and told her to look after them. 
You never saw such a ridiculous performance in your 
life. Those young ducks appreciated Maria as much as 
a prophecy. They had a dish of water there, and nothing 
else mattered in their opinion. They flopped in and out, 
and sprawled and kicked in the sun, and dug their little 
beaks in the sand, like a pack of babies on the beach. 
I wanted to take the whole lot up in my arms and hug 
them, but they flee for bare life if I approach. 

Maria didn't appreciate them, either. In the first 
place, she objected to being hauled so unceremoniously 
out of the fowl-yard (I told Wilkins she didn't like being 
carried by her legs) ; ruffled dignity showed in every 
feather, and when her injured feelings calmed down 
enough to allow her to cluck at them in a better-make- 
the-most-of-a-bad-job manner, the way those ducklings 
turned the deaf ear and whisked the careless tail simply 
infuriated her again. She pranced up and down in an 
undecided manner, scolding vigorously, and finally came 
to rest in an attitude of washing her hands of the whole 
business and uttering loud squawks of protest (intended 
for me). Oh ! but those ducklings with their saucy 
beads of eyes the darling little demons ! Why must 
they grow old and fat and ugly ? 



TWO EYES OF GREY 155 

If I had made the world there should be nothing ugly 
in it, everything should start at beautiful, and I'd make 
variety by the comparatives being more beautiful and 
exquisite. I don't like seeing ugly things, I feel so sorry 
for them ; it makes me unhappy, especially ugly women. 

Glen came up to-night, and Rex did too. I can't ask 
Dolly not to have her friends up in her own house, but I 
do wish he would not come so often. He upset me, too, 
to-night. There were not many of us. Dolly had asked 
Dot Parks to tea, and Jack was devoting himself to her, 
so I suppose she was happy. It's really rather funny 
they should both be named Dot, but, as Glen pointed out, 
it may save trouble if he ever puts the wrong letter in the 
envelope. 

We didn't expect Glen and Rex, you know, they just 
turned up together. I can't get over the queerness of their 
being partners ; and they seem tremendously fond of each 
other for Rex seems to love Glen as much as Glen admires 
Rex. It's rather nice to see two men look at each other 
like they do. 

We played cards at first, and we four made a table of 
bridge while Jack and Dot sat on the piano-stool and 
strummed bits of opera. After a while they slipped out- 
side. We ah 1 just smiled. 

Then Dolly said she was simply sick of losing, and 
wanted to sing. Glen added up the totals and found we 
were four hundred and fifty-nine ahead. He waved the 
fact over Dolly's head like a red rag, but she only sniffed. 
' Lucky at cards, unlucky at love,' " she prophesied. 
" You'll see ! Rex, I want music badly, it's bubbling 
up inside me. Let's come and sing together." So, of 
course, he had to go. 

Glen and I sat on the sofa, and talked under cover of 
the music. Most of the time he expatiated on Rex and 
what a tremendous fine fellow he was. 

" I'm worried about him lately, though," he saidj 
" Do you think he looks ill ? " 

" No," I replied. 



156 PETER PIPER 

" Ugh ! I do ; there's something up, anyway. Perhaps 
it's a girl seems to have the same effect. By Jove ! " 
he seemed intensely pleased with himself, " I believe I've 
hit it ; it is a girl." 

I shivered. Dolly was playing a nocturne of Chopin's, 
creepy and waily, and Rex was gazing at Glen and me. 
Outside we could hear a low-running murmur from Jack 
and Dot, and everything seemed chill and horrible. 

" Funny how a girl knocks a fellow off his balance, 
isn't it ? " Glen pursued meditatively. " But I don't 
know, girls don't upset Rex like that as a rule, he knows 
'em too well. There's something on his mind. I wish 
I knew what it is. He's really been like this for months, 
ever since that trip to the West yes, I noticed it first 
when he came back." 

I locked my fingers and gazed at them intently 
" Noticed what ? " I said. 

" His well, his general out-of-sortsness. You see, 
we've been pals ever since we were at college, and I hate 
to see him moping. He isn't a bit his gay old self, he 
used to be the careless, happy-go-lucky sort nothing 
worries, and now you can't get a smile out of him. I say, 
is the room too hot for you ? " he looked startled. 

" It's nothing," I said unsteadily. " Let's stand out- 
side the door and get some fresh air." 

One door opens into the veranda, so we stood there 
and listened to Dolly. She made a pretty picture in 
the rose-shaded lights against the piano, and Rex's huge 
yellow head close to hers. I think I laughed. 

Then Dolly began to sing ; softly, softly sweet the 
melody crept to us, it seemed almost to caress its way 
into our ears. She was singing the song she calls mine. 
The words came very distinctly : 

" Two eyes of grey that used to be so bright, 
Why is the shadow veiling all your light ? 
Why do the tears usurp the place 
Of just the sweetest light I ever saw 
In anybody's face ? " 



TWO EYES OF GREY 157 

The pine-trees down the garden seemed to send back 
an eerie echo. It was a very dark night. 

" Glen ! " called Jack. 

He excused himself and went. 

Then I felt Rex beside me ; I had not seen him move 
in the gloom. For a second we looked at each other. 

" Peter," he said in a queer, unsteady voice, " will the 
sadness never go out of )'our eyes ? " 

Then Glen came back. At the same minute Dolly 
appeared in the doorway. 

" Rex," she said coaxingly, " do come and sing that 
little gipsy song. You haven't sung it for months and 
months ; I want Peter to hear it. You know which I mean, 
the ' You are my darling ' one." 

But he wouldn't. 



CHAPTER XVII 
An Offer of Marriage 

Di, I'm in a rage, a cold, deadly, raging rage, and in between 
my spasms of wrath I feel boiling with shame. How dare 
he humiliate me like that ? Oh, Di, I wish I'd never 
been born. Oh, I want to tear you to pieces, little book, 
and wreck the room, and go out and kill this hateful, 
sneering, posing-virtuous world like a cornered rat until 
it kills me. It's no use me trying to write in such a breath- 
less fury, I'll go and hang my head out of my window in 
the jasmine creeper and see if it can soothe me to-night 
it generally does. But how I hate him ! 

There, I feel better now. I'll sit still and take deep 
breaths till my heart stops thumping at such a rate. It 
is such a lovely night outside, you'd hardly think it canopied 
such a Hades. I'm in Hades ; there can be nothing worse 
than what I suffer. Oh, Di ! If I could go to sleep for 
ever and forget forget 

I feel as if I were walking in the bottomless pit, and 
there is a rope round the neck of my spirit, and my feet 
are clamped together in a chilling mist of hatred that is 
rising slowly round me till it clasps my waist, and reaches 
my nostrils, and chokes me with its evil breath. 

God save me from myself. But to think the whole 
world despises Peter Piper, or would if they knew it's 
the same thing they'll know some day, nothing can be 
hidden for ever. I almost wish they knew, and that the 
deceit and suspense were over. My punishment did not 
stop when I left the West, though I thought it had, and 
gave thanks on my knees. Blind fool I was ! Is it 
nothing to carry the burden of a living lie round with you, 

158 



AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 159 

slung on your neck like the Mariner's albatross ? The knife 
of remorse and shame stabs twice as fiercely when I take 
the love and caresses of those around me as one ignorant 
and innocent, when I sun myself in the homage of those 
who, if they knew, would treat me as one who has no 
further claim to deference. 

Sometimes, when I am the merriest of a group, I clench 
my hands until the nails bite into my palms, in sudden 
misery of remembrance. What right have I there, jesting 
among honest girls ? Sometimes, I am half mad ; 
I have lain on the floor and beat my forehead on the 
ground, begging God to kill me or let me forget. God ! 
God ! I've no one else to turn to, can't You comfort me 
a little ? You know now how bitter my repentance is, 
You know how I have often cried my eyes blind with tears 
in the night when others si pep, You know it was not my 
fault. Oh, Peter, you fool, not even God can undo what 
has been done. 

Oh, Di, look ! a whole page of your nice book all 
blotted and smudged by this cry-baby. 

There, dry your eyes with a nice scenty pocket-wipe, 
and powder your nose, and try to tell her connectedly all 
that happened. It's funny how the little vanities of life 
are so all-important. The consciousness of a fresh face 
and well-dressed hair enables a woman to face the world 
better than gallons of conscious rectitude. If I could 
just tell Trixie but she would be shocked ! I know, she 
is so sweet and pretty and good she could never understand 
it. I can't myself now; my feelings are dead, and I only 
despise him. That's what rankles most. If I loved him 
still, perhaps I'd forgive myself, but all that remains is 
a vague wonder and disgust. You can't tell anyone, Peter, 
you must bear it alone, but I wish the hurt round my 
heart would stop for a little while. How I hate Rex! 

How the stars make you realise the littleness of every- 
thing ; such great far-away wonderful worlds, and yet 
to us such futile sparks of light. If they seem as grains 
of sand in the scheme of things, how much more are we 



160 PETER PIPER 

less than the dust ? I wonder if the wind that blows 
out of my window up towards them is just the sigh of the 
world, the poor tired old world that only wants to go to 
sleep ? I wonder what's the use of it, anyway ? But the 
more you wonder the more tangled you get. 

It promised to be such a lovely day, too, and I had 
been so happy lately. I opened my eyes to the slow clang 
of the church bells, made sweet by distance, with that nice 
sort of feeling you have sometimes that there are pleasant 
things in the air though you're too sleepy to remember 
quite what they are. Then I woke up quite suddenly 
and remembered the picnic. I jumped out of bed and ran 
to the window. The jasmine flung its fragrance at me 
like a good-morning kiss. The sun stroked my neck, 
quite a young sun, fighting his way through the pines 
that guard my window ; and on the ground sat Foxy 
Bill playing with the Persian. 

I sat at the window for awhile, and laughed at their 
frolic, and let the wind blow all over me till I sneezed, 
so then I started to dress. I chose a blue linen to wear, 
and a white hat lined with blue, and when I was dressed 
I thought I looked rather nice ; Dolly said I did too, and 
of course she always does. Her mouth is the largest I 
ever saw, and yet it is what makes her whole face fascinat- 
ing. Isn't it strange how our faults can be our best assets ? 

I felt quite excited at breakfast. Trixie was a bit 
shocked at our going, but Jack smoothed her down, he 
can do anything with her, and the others came round 
about eleven, and off we set. There was just a cab-load, 
eight of us Dolly and Jack, and me and Glen, and Ralph 
and Rex, Dot Parks for Jack, and Lucy ReesT We were 
a noisy crew ; even Rex being there couldn't damp my 
spirits, anyway he didn't come near me. He is graver 
than he used to be. Sometimes when he is joking with 
Dolly it sounds as if his laughter were forced, but I 
suppose it's only my imagination. 

It was quite a job packing in the luggage ; the noise 
and fun we had tucking it and ourselves in that little space, 



AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 161 

Trixie said, was a disgrace for Sunday morning ; and then 
in the cab, too, it was like an exploring expedition, trying 
to make room for our feet. When once we got packed 
if anyone wanted to move a toe it had to be the perform- 
ance of the " family coach." But we enjoyed even the 
discomforts. Nobody minds what happens on a picnic. 
We went to Long Gully, and you know what a pretty 
drive it is along the Hills Road, with the big gums like 
a bodyguard all the way, and the big gaps between the 
slopes, and the rocks and bushes lining them, and the off- 
wheel about a foot sometimes from the drop. I never 
saw such a blue sky in all my life. 

We chattered and laughed and sang, and the boys told 
us funny stories and jeered at Jack's driving, but we got 
there safely. We had the cunningest arbour you ever 
saw, all grown over with Kennedya and bougainvillea, 
it looked in the distance like a gigantic violet ; and two 
tennis courts. We had a set first while the boys made the 
fire and put on the billy, then we let them have one while 
we unpacked the eatables and laid the cloth and waited 
for the billy to boil. 

After lunch we washed up. Have you ever tried to 
wash up sitting on the ground, and out of a glass bowl 
too (we'd forgotten a wash-tin) ? I'm afraid the cleanness 
of our platters wasn't above suspicion, but again, who 
cares at a picnic ? When a fly got in your tea, or a venture- 
some caterpillar, you weren't allowed to throw it away, 
you had to fish out the intruder and finish your drink ; 
and an ant in your sandwich only lends it an added flavour 
at a picnic. 

But somehow after lunch I didn't enjoy it so much. 
We played a lot of tennis, but Glen didn't seem to care 
to talk to me like he usually doe? At least, I had a 
set with him, and he came and sat beside me at afternoon 
tea, but he seemed to talk an awful lot to Dolly. He 
told me that he thought she was a downright charming 
girl. I'm beginning to wonder if he likes Dolly better 
than me. Of course I don't care if he does, it's none of 
L 



ife PETER PIPER 

my business ; but still, he has beem nice to me, and you 
don't like to feel people like you less than they used to. 

He was nice in a way, and said one or two silly things 
like he has taken to saying lately, pretending he wants 
to please me. Sometimes I like them, and sometimes he 
says them hi such a mocking, casual sort of way, and 
there is such a I can't think of any adjective to fit it 
look in his eye that may seem almost an insult, and I 
get mad. It was some tiny thing that ruffled me first 
(it's the tiny things that fidget most, isn't it ?) ; I'd said 
I hated red ties on men, and he has rather a fondness 
for them (I wish he hadn't, because they don't go with 
his hair a bit). We were all joking on the subject, and 
Glen said : 

" Really mind enough to hate them ? " 

" Yes, I do," I said ; " positively, I wouldn't marry 
a man who wore red ties." 

Glen looked up with that mocking smile of his between 
half-shut lids, and said so that none could hear but me : 

" At that rate I'll have to give up wearing 'em, 
won't I ? " 

I felt such a fool, and yet on top of that he got up 
to play a set with Dolly and scarcely came near m^.again. 
And then the the thing happened. 

I was alone away from the rest, just waiting for the 
billy to boil, and Ralph was collecting a few more sticks. 
The light was just dimming ; they could still see the tennis 
balls, but with growing difficulty, and the white figures 
were darting to and fro on the courts ; the sun was setting 
like a big saucer behind the bush, and sending blue and 
yellow spots and shadows across their flannels. The fire 
streaked up and licked the sides of the billy and made 
little duskinesses on the scrub around. The silence was 
almost eerie. We had, of course, built the fire some 
distance away, so that the heat and smoke would not 
annoy us, and when a distant snatch of laughter came it 
somehow made the silence more oppressive than ever. 

I stood still. I forgot the tennis, my pretty clothes, 



AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 163 

Trixie, and Dolly, and Glen. I was just Peter Piper again, 
seventeen and good, and it didn't seem a bit queer for a 
minute to find Rex by my side. His face was set, and his 
shoulders had a look about them as if he had something 
unpleasant to go through and meant to get it over quickly. 

I shrank away involuntarily ; I hadn't meant to be 
rude, but there was no one else there, and he had surprised 
me before I had time to pretend. He winced as if I had 
struck him. 

" For God's sake don't look at me like that, Peter," 
he said passionately. " Do you hate me ? " 

" Yes," I answered. 

He took a deep breath and stood silent. I turned to 
the fire and mechanically poked things under it. 

" Would you please go away ? " I said. 

He bit his lip. " I never get a chance to speak to you," 
he said. " I've wanted to tell you for a long while " 

" You can have nothing to say," I said steadily, " that 
I wish to hear." 

" I know I have behaved like a cad," he said in a low 
tone ; "it was a moment's " 

I was on my feet in a second facing him, and I had to 
push my hand against my heart to stop its beating. " How 
dare you ! " I whispered, for no voice would come ; " how 
dare you speak of it ! " 

He took off his hat and stood bareheaded. " Peter, 
will you marry me ? " he said: 

Something seemed to give me a little stab inside and 
then left me feeling dead. I think I laughed. How 
strange men are ! If he had asked me that many months 
ago ! I looked at him standing there, like Hercules, the 
wind ruffling his fair hair, his great shoulders motionless 
and his eyes fixed on the ground ; and all of a sudden I 
was filled with passionate rage against this beautiful 
giant who had wrecked my life and caused all my suffering, 
and who stood there, himself untouched, calmly offering 
me I bent again to the fire: 

" You have not answered," he said after a little while; 



164 PETER PIPER 

I looked up, and I think the scorn I had of him blazed 
in my eyes. " You need an answer ? " I said. 

The blood crept up his face. " A man can't offer more 
than that," he stammered ; " what other reparation 

" Reparation ! " I cut him short ; I had never been 
so madly raging in all my life. " Reparation ! " I said 
again, and laughed outright. Then I went close to him 
and stood there stiff and straight, and my eyes felt as if 
they burned. " What," I said, " can you offer me in 
exchange for what you stole a girl's innocence ? " 

" I've told you," he said, never moving, a great blur 
against the dark sky. 

" And do you think," I said bitterly, " I would marry 
you ? I would die first. Marriage means love and 
respect. I do not love you, nor do you me. And respect ! " 
I laughed again. " And as for marrying to save my 
name " 

" For God's sake speak lower," he said, hurriedly 
glancing round. 

" Are you afraid ? " I mocked. 

" For you, yes." 

Somehow the bitter words died away on my tongue. 
A burst of merriment that floated to us sounded out of 
place. The incongruity of it struck me suddenly ; there 
were they chattering about tennis and tea, and here were 
we If they only guessed ! 

" Let us go back," I said abruptly. 

We walked slowly back. Ralph was there ; he had 
not come near us ; he is very discreet. 

Just as we got close to them Rex said to me in a low 
tone, " You will not ? " 

" I will not." 

Six pairs of mischievous eyes greeted us, but no one 
spoke until Jack said gravely, " Peter, you have forgotten 
the bill}' ! " and then there was pandemonium. 

Glen hardly spoke to me coming home. I think he 
was angry with Rex. If he only knew how little cause 
he has! 



AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 165 

Rex did not speak to me again till we got home. I 
tried to avoid saying good-bye to him, but he came and 
took my hand and towered over me in his big dominant 
way, and I felt small and helpless as I used to feel with 
him. His eyes stared compellingly into mine for a second 
as he said in a rapid undertone : " You lied when you 
said I did not love you." 

I wrenched my hand away, and my eyes were full of 
angry tears, but he could not see them. " Spare me that 
last insult," I said ; and he turned and went towards 
the gate with his shoulders bowed like a beaten cur. Ah ! 
no, that's a lie ; he is always like a lion, magnificent, but 
he has a cur's soul. And he never loved me. 

And when she kissed me good-night, Dolly said, " Peter 
Delaney, don't tell me again you don't like Rex." 

How dare he put me in such a false position ! How 
I ought to hate him ! I do too. To offer marriage to me 
as if I were the lowest of the low, to hand it me as a favour, 
to me whose only crime was that I loved him was ever 
a girl so humiliated before ? I have no more tears lefti 

Oh, mother 1 I want my mother I 



CHAPTER XVIII 
Mother Trixie 

Di, I'm home-sick. Home-sick for a sight of the scrub, 
and the moon among the wattles at night, and the air that 
Nugget made whistle past my ears, and my old moth-eaten 
room with the purple Kennedya poking its spikes through 
my window. 

Yes, and home-sick for father's curses and the black 
loneliness of it day after day. Peter, you're a sentimental 
idiot. Why do we always remember the nice parts of 
things and forget all the drawbacks, I wonder ? I've 
been here three months now, and it seems as if I had always. 
They are good to me, and I love them all, especially Trixie. 
She is so pretty, she looks like Dolly's sister instead of 
her mother ; she couldn't be dearer to me if I were her 
own daughter. I wonder just particularly what claim 
I have on her. How father seems to hate her ! 

She gave me a blue silk dressing gown to-day. I've 
got it on now ; I look rather nice in it, Di. She gave me 
a new muslin frock too, smothered in tiny tucks and lace 
till there isn't a square of plain on it. I wore it at our 
party to-night. I remonstrated with her. Father gives 
me a dress allowance, of course, but she is always making 
me presents. Every time she gets something special for 
Dolly she gives one to me. I don't like taking so much 
from her ; you'd think I was her daughter too. 

When she brought me in the muslin frock I gave a little 
gasp of admiration, and she dimpled with pleasure. " You 
like it, then ? " 

"Like it?" I said, "oh, Trixie!" I touched it 
adoringly ; it seemed too fragile to wear. 

166 



MOTHER TRIXIE 167 

" Well, put it on and make yourself pretty," she 
advised ; "I must run away now and dress myself." 

She stood at the door, smiling at me like a little Dresden 
shepherdess. She had a pale pinky satiny kimono on 
(we were dressing for dinner), lined with cerise, and a lovely 
frilly petticoat, and little pink shoes ; and she has got 
such bewitching baby curls and a naughty lovely smile. 
Framed in that doorway she looked just adorable. I flung 
my arms round her and hugged her. 

" Trixie, I just love you ! " I said. " Why are you 
so good to me ? " 

" Good to you ? " she said with a little catch in her 
breath ; and then to my surprise there were big tears 
hanging in her hazel eyes. " Good to you ? Oh, my 
poor lonely little baby ! " 

I had never seen her look so tender and beautiful 
before, and all of a sudden I knew how much I had been 
robbed of. " Oh, Trixie ! " I said with sudden yearning. 
" If only / had a mother ! " She had sunk into a big 
chair, and I crouched beside her with my head in her 
lap, and her arms round me were so comforting and 
warm. 

" Can't I do instead ? " she whispered. " Could she 
love you better ? " 

" Mother Trixie," I said between a laugh and a sob, 
and I pulled her face down and kissed it. 

" Lie still, Peter," she said dreamily, " and I'll cuddle 
you again as I used when you were a baby. Such a 
pretty baby you were, Peter, with your big blue eyes 
(they're grey now), and soft little curls you had the 
tightest wee curls I ever saw on a baby. Jim used to call 
you 'little piccaninny.'" 

" You knew my mother and father well, Trixie ? " 
She didn't seem to hear my question. 

" Such a dimpled baby, Peter," she murmured as if 
she were looking miles and miles away from me ; " you 
used to bury your wee hands in my hair and tug out 
handfuls. Dolly and Jack were never such babies as you, 



168 PETER PIPER 

but I couldn't take you away from Jim ; I thought you'd 
comfort him, my poor old Jimmy." 

" Was he very grieved when my mother died ? " I 
said in a hushed sort of voice. 

Trixie's face looked as if she were suffering. " Has 
he never spoken about your mother to you ? " she replied, 
answering my question with another. 

" Never ! " 

" Nor of me ? " The question seemed a bit of an 
effort. 

" Only when he told me he was sending me to you, 
and then he " I stopped hastily. 

" Go on," Trixie commanded sharply. " What did he 
say ? " 

" Nothing, only he laughed horridly, and and he 
didn't seem to like you very much, Trixie, and that's why 
I've wondered at your being so good to me. Why are 
you ? " 

She rose abruptly and laughed, but her eyes were wet- 
looking. 

" Perhaps it's a debt I owe Jim, and " she bent 
and kissed me again " your mother." And she 
fluttered away in her pink frills like a big night-moth. 

You never seem to get any nearer understanding 
yourself, Peter. One thing I'm perfectly sure of father 
loved Trixie once, and she didn't love him ; that's why 
he hates her now. Perhaps she was my mother's greatest 
friend, and mother died of jealousy, and Trixie is trying to 
make it up to me. Oh, well ! What's the use of worrying ? 
I don't suppose I'll ever know. But I shall never get 
over the comicalness of hearing her call father " Jim " 
in that casual tone of voice. I'd love to see them together ; 
she doesn't seem a bit afraid of him, but then she hasn't 
seen him for years. I had a letter from him to-day, but 
all he said was, he was glad my health was improving, 
and if I ever wanted money just to call on his bankers. I 
wonder where he got it all from ? 

I had a lovely long letter from Dick, too; he is in 



MOTHER TRIXIE 169 

Sydney now, and he says he will be over here soon. It 
will be lovely to see him again. 

The party to-night was such fun ; it was just an informal 
one, about twenty or so there. Dolly said I looked awfully 
nice ; it was the new frock did it, though. Glen rang up 
at the last minute to say he couldn't come, and I was so 
disappointed, the party seemed stupid all at once. I tried 
to be nice to everybody, but Glen is so funny, they all 
seemed dull beside him, and then all at once the door-bell 
rang and the maid showed him in. He went and apologised 
to Dolly, and then came straight to me. I was so glad, 
for Rex was in the room, and I was terribly afraid he 
was going to speak to me, so I never let myself get alone 
for one minute. He never comes near when Glen is about ; 
that's rather peculiar, considering they are friends. But 
it's so. It's queer, I'm getting quite hardened to meeting 
him everywhere I go now, I actually don't mind ; only 
if ever he comes near me or I have to speak to him more 
than to say " How-d'ye-do ? " I feel horrible all over. 
But the queerest feeling is to watch him with other girls, 
to see him leaning over them, his presence around them 
like a perfume as it used to be round me ; and I watch the 
silly little fools drop their eyes and blush as I used to. 

At first it used to almost make me choke with wrath 
how dare he go on so before my face ? but now I am 
past that. I just feel, when I see him gazing into other girls' 
eyes, a hot wave of shame that ever I should have been 
deceived by such a heartless flirt. If I had lost myself 
to love I could have forgiven him, but that such a shallow 
cad should have the right to hold me cheaply- how it 
hurts ! 

He never even speaks to me now unless he has to, but 
occasionally, when convention drives us to exchange 
commonplaces on the weather or cricket, I could almost 
scream with laughter at the farce of it all ; but I am 

learning to act well, and he Sometimes I think I have 

dreamt everything, and that I never met him before that 
night at the dance. Although I hate him I have to admire 



170 PETER PIPER 

his self-possession, but, oh ! how I wish he would go 
away, he makes me despise myself every time I see him. 

And the awful part is, we've got to be civil to each other. 
I daren't show open dislike ; as it is, Dolly often comments 
on my lack of appreciation of her Hercules. 

" I can't understand why you don't like him, Peter," 
she said again one day. 

I folded my hands in my lap and set my teeth. " I 
didn't say I disliked him, Dolly," I said. 

" You can't bluff me," Dolly retorted, " and all the 
girls rave over him." 

" The more reason for me not to," I said, hating myself. 
The more I learn about him the more I despise him and 
myself. 

" What I'm trying to piece together " Dolly 

commented, nibbling a finger. 

" Oh, do change the subject ! " I said impatiently. 
" I'm heartily sick of hearing the song of Rex Ware ; 
I've no doubt no such perfect archangel ever walked the 
earth without wings before, but you can't help admitting 
that to sit for ever listening to his praises gets monotonous." 

Unconsciously, I suppose, my voice had grown bitter, 
for Dolly leaned over and said in a curious voice : " Peter, 
do you hate him ? " 

That cold fear gripped me again. Di, can you think 
what it is to be always haunted by the dread of self- 
betrayal ? But I forced my lips to a natural smile ; fear 
is the best teacher of guile. 

"Don't be absurd, Dolly. But I get tired of those 
paragons who are run after by silly girls till their heads 
are turned and " 

" Rex is not that sort, Peter, and you know it," Dolly 
broke in indignantly. " A less conceited fellow you never 
met, and it's a wonder too, for you can't deny he's one of 
the finest men you ever saw. He flirts a bit, I suppose, 
but what can you expect ? the fuss girls make over his 
face, it serves them right. But it hasn't altered him to 
his pals, and men say he's as straight as a die in business 



MOTHER TRIXIE 171 

matters. I can tell you of a whole heap of people who 
know Rex Ware a jolly sight better than you do, who 
think the world of him ; I do myself." She flung back 
her head defiantly. " Rex and I have known each other 
since we were tiny kids ; he was my first sweetheart ; and 
a nicer, truer, honester fellow you could not wish to meet, 
so there, Peter Delaney ! " And she stalked out of the 
room. 

How queer it is to think Rex could be to Dolly what 
Dick is to me. 

Glen put in a good word for him, too, to-night. He 
had been kept late by some case or other that wanted 
looking into further, and he didn't think when he rang 
up he would be able to get away at all. 

" Why did you try ? " I said reproachfully. " You'll 
tire yourself out if you go at such a pace." 

" Tire myself ! " he laughed like a boy at the idea. 
" Besides, I hadn't as much to do as I expected, Rex 
took a hump on his shoulders. He's a great fellow," 
and he blew a cloud of cigarette smoke to the skies in 
appreciation. 

We had all wandered outside, and he and I were down by 
the lily-pond. It was very beautiful there, the heliotrope 
coloured flowers held their stiff satin leaves like rosettes 
on the surface of the water, and the big camellia-bushes 
made little Noah's arks among the filmy willows. Every 
now and then a trill of laughter would come from some- 
where or other ; they had scattered all over the garden. 

We didn't talk very much, except by looking at each 
other every now and then. Can't you say a lot with 
looks, Di ? It didn't seem as if we were silent. I plaited 
him a crown of wild oats and I hung it on his head, and 
it dropped all on one ear and gave him a dissolute, drunken 
appearance that made us both laugh insanely, and I 
had to put it straight for him, and once my hand brushed 
against his lips and he glanced up quickly at me, and 
I felt confused. I wonder why ? It was a nice, thrilly 
sort of quiver up my arm. I like him because he never 



xya PETER PIPER 

touches me ; if he did I'd hate him ; but because he 
doesn't, sometimes when our fingers brush by accident, 
and once when he bumped my head crawling under the 
willows to look at the cygnets, I rather liked it. 

He played a while with the end of my scarf ; nearly 
all men seem to like touching something that belongs 
to a girl. Suddenly he said : " What pretty hands you 
have ! " 

" Hands ! " I echoed blankly. " What's pretty about 
them burnt brown old things ? " 

" They have nice dimples." 

" But they are so big," I urged, just to make him 
go on talking, it's so seldom Glen says anything compli- 
mentary. " Look ! " I laid one hand beside his on his 
knee, and he laughed outright and put his on top of mine 
and hid it. 

" Big ! " he laughed again, " why, it's lost in mine," 
and he curled his fingers round it ; and suddenly we both 
felt shy at least, I did and he grew silent and didn't 
say a word when I drew my hand away. 

The silence got oppressive this time, so I suggested we 
should go and look for the others, and he said he supposed 
he'd better hunt up Rex and get a move on, they had 
to go back to the office before they went home. I made no 
comment beyond a sort of grunt, and he looked curiously 
at me. He opened his mouth, and on second thoughts 
shut it again, but on third thoughts he said : 

" You don't like Rex ? " 

I shrugged my shoulders. " I neither like nor dislike 
him." 

" I see," he said slowly, and changed the conversation. 

But I know he was not satisfied. He has been talking 
about me to Rex, I'm certain of it. What could he have 
said ? 

They went away together. As Glen held my hand on 
the veranda saying good-bye (I had simply bowed to 
Rex), he said : " Will you be home Tuesday night ? " 

" Yes, I think," I replied. 



MOTHER TRIXIE 173 

" Then may I come up ? H 

" Of course." 

I stood on the porch listening to the sound of their 
footsteps crunching fainter on the gravel. But what 
surprised me was, I saw on Rex's face as Glen held my 
hand a look almost of hatred. 

Why should he have looked like that when he doesn't 
care? 



CHAPTER XIX 
Glen Waxes Sentimental 

IT was Saturday evening. The boys had come to tennis 
and stayed to tea. About seven Ralph said suddenly 
to Dolly: 

" Dolly, will you be a perfect devil on sevenpence- 
ha'penny ? " 

" As how ? " Dolly queried in a muffled voice from 
the hammock. " Persian, dear, would you mind sitting 
somewhere else but on my head, it's rather detrimental 
to conversation ? " 

" I was thinking of the river," Ralph replied, ignoring 
the rest of her remark. " It really is a lovely night, and 
Glen and Peter could come too. Mrs. Danish, I presume, 
has no qualms about its respectability ? " 

" No, only about its safety with two such scatterbrains," 
Dolly retorted, " but I dare say we could soothe them 
by utterly misrepresenting your characters. What do 
you say, Peterkin, shall we go ? " 

" I think it would be rather nice, Dolly," I said. 

And it was. One of those drowsy warm nights when 
the stars seem so big and bright you think they will fall 
on top of you. We walked down to the boating-shed 
and routed out a noble skiff called The Dolly for luck, 
as Ralph explained and we all bundled in. Ralph started 
to row, Glen sat in the I-forget-the-name-of the end, and 
Dolly and I in the other, and pulled the ropes that steer 
it. We made an awfully erratic course. 

" Ralph," Dolly said, " what makes it wobble so ? " 

" Your peculiar manner of keeping her straight," 
Ralph replied, as we shaved another boat by half an inch; 

"74 



GLEN WAXES SENTIMENTAL 175 

" Glen, take those lines away from her, or there'll be a 
new notice in the obituary column to-morrow. Dolly, 
light of my life, will you allow Glen to sit next to Miss 
Delaney to please me ? " 

" Not me ! " Dolly retorted, " but I'll do it to please 
Glen." 

" Don't trouble on my account," Glen said serenely. 
All we could see of him now was a big blur and the red 
end of his pipe. 

I felt myself colour with rage, and even Dolly was 
surprised for a second, but she replied calmly : " Sorry, 
can't help it ; the Church's orders. Get up ! " 

They exchanged seats at imminent risk of capsizing, 
and I breathed a sigh of relief when the transfer had been 
made, but I watched the bank steadily ; if he thought I 
was g9ing to speak to him after a remark like that he was 
making the mistake of his life. 

We went past the City Bridge, past the 'Varsity boat- 
shed ; at the back of the Exhibition a clump of gum-trees 
stood stiff in pleasure at their own reflection. All the way 
willows curled their long green hair in the water, which 
was like polished ebony. Boats nosed about with lights 
on the ends like dogs sniffing round for a bone. Now and 
again we'd pass one tucked away under the willows, and 
catch a glimpse of a mixture of black coat and white 
blouse it isn't polite to get more than a glimpse. 

" Phew ! it's hot," said Ralph, and took off his coat. 

Back again now down to the weir. The rushes shut us 
in like a young forest. A train coming from the Hills 
rushed by to the station a rocket, scattering stars all 
the way. 

" I wish," Ralph sighed, " I'd worn a belt, these 
braces cut my shoulders infernally." 

A black swan went past like a gunshot. I dabbled my 
hands in the water, and wondered if I could really see 
the eyes of drowned folk shining up at me from the mud 
beneath ; once when a floating weed caught in my hand 
I gasped, it coiled round my fingers like a girl's hairj 



176 PETER PIPER 

Ralph had stopped rowing and was bending forward 
talking in a low tone to Dolly, who for once didn't appear 
to be laughing. 

" What are you thinking of ? " Glen asked abruptly. 

" That I have a deep sympathy for your mother." 

" For being my mother ? " 

" Because you have grown too big to be spanked ; 
she must want to dreadfully sometimes." 

" Do you feel like that ? " 

I nodded. He smoked on, but insensibly I felt less 
cross. I believe because his prickly mood was passing ; 
he has such a queer effect on me, I am like a barometer 
to register the changes in his mood. But he makes most 
people feel the same. He turned and smiled at me, and 
my mercury would veer round to Fair. I hated myself 
for it. 

" I was up near your place last Sunday," he said. 

I nearly said : " Why didn't you come in ? " but some 
last remnant of decent pride made me answer indiffer- 
ently : " Oh I out for a walk ? " 

" Yes, with Harris." 

* It was a nice day." 

" Mph ! " 

He shot a glance at me between his lids and then 
laughed a short, self-scornful laugh. " Harris couldn't 
make out the direction at all ; about a hundred yards 

from your house he stopped and said : ' What the ' 

well, I won't say it, ' have you brought me out to this 
God-forsaken wilderness for ? ' He mopped his face and 
eyed me with sudden suspense. ' Look here, Glen, I 
believe you've got a girl out this way, have you now ? ' " 

" How funny ! " I laughed, feeling I would like to 
jab a hatpin into Glen. 

" Of course I had to turn round and go straight back." 

" Well," I said, plaiting the ropes of the tiller, " you 
didn't want to come any farther, did you ? " 

He didn't answer, but I could feel his eyes on 
me, and somehow they made me look up, but when I 



GLEN WAXES SENTIMENTAL 177 

met them my own dropped suddenly and my cheeks 
burned. 

It shows the hypnotic effect he has on me, that it wasn't 
till I got home it dawned on me he has awful cheek to say 
things like that. Besides, if he likes me enough to want 
to come near our place, why didn't he come out and see 
us ? he knows he's always welcome. I wouldn't care 
how often he came ; he amuses me. 

There's no doubt about it, men are queer. 

As we pulled back to the landing-place Dolly began 
to sing softly, " Two eyes of grey." I clasped my hands 
round my knees and gazed ahead. Glen gazed at me, 
I felt him. 

" I'd give the world," Dolly crooned, " if it could be 
my fate 

" ' To dry the tears that dim your eyes 

And make their sweetness glow with love for me.' ** 

Her voice fell on the silence like a kiss. 

Abruptly Glen leant forward and said (I never knew 
he could speak like that) : " When you look so, I know 
what the fellow felt who wrote that song." 



CHAPTER XX 
Dick Comes to Adelaide 

I HAD been out playing tennis at Rees's, and when I got 
in the door the maid told me Mr. Harcourt was in the 
drawing-room. 

At last my old Dick ! 

I simply flew for the room, but when I dashed through 
the door and found it packed with people I stopped suddenly 
and felt shy. But Dick got up and came to me and 
grabbed both my hands, staring all the time as if I'd gone 
black or yellow since he saw me last. 

" Peter ! " he said incredulously. " Peter ! Well, 
I'm damned ! " And he said it with intense conviction. 

" Dick, I'm so glad ! " I cried ; and everybody laughed. 
But of course I was only answering his meaning. 

However, we couldn't stand there all day, so we dis- 
entangled and found seats somewhere ; still, as we went 
Dick contrived to say to me : " Peter, you have grown a 
beauty ! " He didn't seem to be able to get past that 
fact all the day. 

It's so lovely to have him here. I don't see such a 
terrific lot of him, because he has a good deal of business 
in the day-time, and he spends a lot of time with his old 
Marjorie, but he manages to get round to Curranjee fairly 
often. I think it's a bit too often for Glen's taste. He 
has been so queer lately, I don't think he likes me as much 
as he used. Sometimes I think he cares a bit for Dolly. 
Several times lately when he has come he has talked a 
lot more to her than to me ; it may have been because 
Dick was there, but still Of course I don't mind ; I 
think jealousy's despicable, but well, I don't think he 



DICK COMES TO ADELAIDE 179 

need turn, if he is turning, quite so suddenly ; it isn't 
what I feel that matters, it's the look of it to other people. 
He has made them think, home and people who come here 
often, that I'm his special fancy out of the household, 
and to be palpably cut out is humiliating. 

Not that I blame Dolly one atom, only all the same 
it makes me feel a bit sore against her. It's very unjust, 
but, to be honest with myself, I know I do feel wroth 
with her on occasions. I feel so crossish and out of sorts 
to-day. It's odd that one can feel hopelessly miserable 
without a reason, at least a reason one can put into words. 
It's a soul-ache, like tiredness, that you just feel without 
being able to locate. I'm cross with myself and everything 
and everybody else. 

Oh dear ! how nice it would be if we could take mental 
Epsom salts. Peter, you're a snappy old pig ! 

But I don't care. Glen's a beast, he hasn't been near 
us for nearly a fortnight now, hasn't even rung up. Dolly 
saw him last Tuesday in the street, and he took her to 
afternoon tea. I wanted to murder her when she told me. 

Everything's gone wrong. I was going to a tennis 
party and it's pouring with rain. Dolly's down at the 
'Varsity. Maria has killed two of her ducklings to-day 
by trampling on them ; I've never known her do such a 
thing before. I tore my pet blue frock on a nail in the 
veranda chair, the telephone won't work, I've read every- 
thing decent in the house, and even Trixie's bad-tempered. 

It's rather humorous. While no one knew anything 
about it he was perfectly sweet to me, and now that people 
are beginning to tumble to the state of affairs he is cooling 
off I'd like to stick pins into him. 

It's hateful being a girl. You're utterly helpless until 
a man proposes outright. > They can amuse themselves 
to the top of their bent and then get out, and no one can 
say anything ; and, especially if you like them at all, 
it's hard to keep them in their proper place. Besides, 
you never know at first whether they are only amusing 
themselves or trying to put in good work. 



i8o PETER PIPER 

It's very perplexing to be a girb 

I don't care ; Glen has no business to go on like that 
with Dolly in front of my very nose after the things he's 
said. Not that it makes any difference to me. 

We're going to have a fancy dress ball in a marquee 
on the lawn in a few weeks masked. I wonder what 
I'll go as. 

If he rings up again I'll tell Pearl to say I'm not at 
home and she doesn't know when I will be. So there, 
Glen Morris ! And if he doesn't ring up I won't dance with 
him at the tennis dance. 

Peter, you're a logical females 



CHAPTER XXI 
Dick Laughs 

PETER, you're an ass, there's no getting away from it. 
After all my fine resolutions ! It's perfectly exasperating 
that any man should have such a strong personality ; 
I'm just like putty in his hands. And I don't think I even 
like him. But you see I was expecting Lucy Rees to ring 
me up about tennis the next day, whether we were to play 
on her court or ours, so when the telephone rang I went 
to save anyone else bothering; I was sure it was I that 
was wanted. So it was, but not by Lucy. This is the 
dignified encounter : 

I take down the receiver. " Hallo ! " 

" Is that Dr. Danish's ? " 

" Yes." 

" Oh, hallo ! " with a quick change of tone. " Is that 
you ? Morris speaking. How are you ? " 

" Quite well, thank you ; how are you ? " (" Peter, 
you fool ! " to myself.) 

" All right. I say, are you doing anything particular 
to-night ? " 

" Me ? "meekly and truthfully. " No." 

" All right, I'll come up, may I ? " (The " may I ? " 
only a matter of form.) 

Me, helplessly and inwardly raging : " If you like." 

" Right ! See you later. Good-bye." 

" Good-bye." 

I hang up the receiver, and then recover my lost wits, 
and give Peter a piece of my mind too late. Aren't I 
an idiot, Di ? 

181 



i8a PETER PIPER 

Anyway, I determined I wouldn't be too nice with him ; 
I'd let him see he couldn't behave as he chose with me ; 
I'd be civil but cold. 

You wouldn't be surprised to hear I kept my word, 
Di ? Oh no ! I was sitting on the veranda day-dreaming 
when he came, and I'm sure it was that softened my mood. 
Sunsets are so sad, they always make me feel as if nothing 
was worth while ; it seems, in the face of that big expanse 
of; sky, so futile to spoil the little life we have with tempers 
and misunderstandings. 

It was a grey sunset too, with a hint of pink like a tired 
woman's face flushing with surprise, and I saw it between 
the flowers of a huge tree-rose and a bush of sweet peas. 
The peas were almost cerise, that lovely deep pink-red, 
and gradually they flooded my mind with their colour. 
Have you ever thought a pinkness, Di ? It's a lovely 
warm, vague sensation in your mind like bathing your 
limbs in sunshine, only it's more dreamy and seductive 
than crude day ; if there were such a thing you'd call 
it sun-moonlight. 

I couldn't stay cross with those sweet peas in front 
of me. And then he walked up the steps. His very 
walk is aggressive. My heart gave a bump against my 
ribs and then felt like undigested ice-cream. 

" Good-evening," he said, and stood looking down at 
me. 

I smiled up without answering, and for a few minutes 
we stayed so. It seemed as if we'd done it centuries ago 
the same. Isn't it disconcerting, how familiar things 
sometimes are ? It makes you feel as if you weren't 
yourself at all, but a person in a play speaking a set part. 

" Won't you sit down ? " I said. 

" Thank you," he replied, and then somehow the 
banality of our conversation struck us both, and we 
laughed ; and you must admit, Di, it's impossible to be 
cold and dignified after a good laugh, so we talked away 
just like we always do, as nice as nice could be. 

But he chooses such peculiar topics now, he's always 



DICK LAUGHS 183 

talking about girls. He used not. And he takes an almost 
morbid interest in Dolly and Ralph. One time he said : 

" Being engaged's a rotten game, don't you think ? " 

" I don't know," I said ; " I've never been." 

" Well, of course," he said hastily ; " neither have I." 

" Why of course ? " 

" Why not ? " 

I picked some banksia and aimed the tufts at Foxy 
Bill, who nearly wagged his tail off in appreciation of the 
compliment. 

" An engagement," he pursued, "is such a responsibility. 
It means taking another person eternally into considera- 
tion ; a fellow can't only study his own convenience then." 

" That would be good for you," I suggested. 

" But damned unpleasant. Really, I beg your pardon." 

" Do you suppose I haven't heard worse words than 
that when I was a boy ? " I said disdainfully. " Don't 
you be damned silly." 

He frowned. (I like that savage furrow between his 
brows.) " I dislike to hear a woman swear." 

" Then why talk to one who does ? " His tone had 
ruffled me. 

He never turned a hair, but replied after a moment's 
consideration : " That is a pertinent question." 

" Not to say impertinent ? " 

He didn't answer, and I felt suddenly ashamed. I 
leant a little towards him, and touched him lightly on 
the knee. 

" I didn't mean to be rude." (Peter, you are soft.) 

" Another point is," he added later, " it spoils tilings 
a bit when everybody knows about it, don't you think ? 
They all discuss you and wonder what you see in each 
other and when you're going to get married, and set the 
town by the ears with their gossip, if they see you talking 
to anyone else." 

I nodded sympathetically. 

" I reckon it's much nicer when no one knows any- 
thing about it, like now, don't you ? " 



184 PETER PIPER 

I was saved from a reply by Dick, who descended upon 
us with warm greetings. I wonder if Glen knows what 
perfectly awful things he says ? He must ; he's too clever 
to be a fool ; or is he so clever that he is ? 

I don't think he loves me ; we're neither of us a bit 
sentimental, and he shouldn't make remarks like that. 
I can never love anyone else again ; I can't even re- 
member properly what it felt like. Truly they are right 
who call love a midsummer madness. I think I just 
interest him, because he says I'm different from other 
girls. Poor me, Di ! if he only knew how true that is ! 

Of course I was awfully pleased to see Dick I always 
am but we didn't seem as jolly as usual, or perhaps I 
was tired or something. Glen wouldn't talk, either, after 
he came. It's really perfectly absurd the way he objects 
to me being civil to any other man ; and he'd die sooner 
than admit it too ; but he does mind and Dick more 
than anyone. 

He got up to go quite early, and that made me cross 
with Dick. Women are beastly unjust. But as we stood 
at the veranda steps he said so that Dick couldn't hear : 

" They've asked me to be a member for the Firefly 
dance ; would you care to go ? " 

" Oh, thank you ! " I said, surprised and pleased. 
" It's very good 

" All right," he cut in short, " I'll go on. Good-bye." 
He shook my hand and went. 

I enjoyed the talk with Dick very much, but all the 
same I couldn't help wishing Glen hadn't shot off like 
that. 

Just as he was going Dick said to me with a grin : 

" I say, Peter, let him down lightly." 

" What do you mean ? " I said, feeling pink though 
it was dark and he couldn't tell. 

But Dick only laughed. 



CHAPTER XXII 
The Firefly Dance 

I'M cross cross cross cross as forty-four sticks all 
laid crosswise ! I'm sick of Glen ; I never want to see 
or speak to him again. Silly old thing ! I despise people 
who don't know their own minds. If he thinks Dolly's 
nicer than me he can have his old Dolly. I'm sure I 
don't want to have any more to do with him. 

All the same it's rotten luck, for I was getting to like 
him, and he is, bar Dick, the nicest fellow I know, and a 
long way the cleverest. I love them clever. I don't 
see why he should be tired of me, I'm sure I haven't altered ; 
liking's a queer thing, the way it comes and goes. And 
I'm sure Dolly likes Ralph a lot better than Glen, only, 
of course, it flatters her pride to have more than one 
dangling after her the more the merrier. 

Oh, well ! thank goodness, I've got Dick left. 

Glen took us to the Firefly. I enjoyed it in a way, 
Di, but not the way I wanted to ; and that's the only 
sort of enjoyment that counts. I had such a pretty frock, 
too ; it was pink, and I carried pink roses, and the decora- 
tions were the loveliest I have seen they were all pink 
and fireflies of electric light. The whole room was canopied 
with them, the streams starting from a great pink globe 
in the centre where the fireflies were thickest, fluttering 
round it on invisible wires, like moths round a candle. 

He asked Dick and Dolly, and Jack and his sister. 
Dolly said she and his mother had only been back from 
England a few weeks: She is not like liim at all, rather 
handsome in a bold, dark way. She had a grey frock on, 
skin-tight. I don't like her. She stared at me quite hard 

185 



i86 PETER PIPER 

when I was dancing with him. I think someone must have 
been telling her about me. I'm sure Glen never would. 
It's impertinent of her to look at me like that ; her brother's 
friends are none of her business. I wished he would 
introduce me, just so that I could retaliate ; I'm not 
afraid of her I've learnt how to deal with girls who try 
to snub me now. But of course he didn't. Dolly says 
she's not a bad girl, but she thinks the whole world was 
made for her convenience. It seems a family trait. Dolly 
went up to her and welcomed her back, and she was quite 
effusive. I suppose she's nice enough when it suits her. 
I believe she wanted to be introduced to me ; I saw her 
begin to move my way with Dolly, but just then the first 
waltz started and my partner swept me off. 

Glen booked three dances with me before he asked 
Dolly, but perhaps that was only because he didn't want 
me to know how many he had with her. I believe they 
had more than three. I'm a fool to mind, because I had 
plenty of other men to dance with ; but all the time I 
was envying Glen's partners, and I was so ruffled that 
when I danced with him myself I was perfectly horrid, 
although I wanted to make a better impression than any. 
Jealousy is a stupid thing, it makes you disagreeable 
when you are only unhappy. I suppose I was a bit jealous, 
to be honest, but no one likes losing a pal. Are all women 
as stupid as I, I wonder ? 

But if there's one person in the world at this minute 
I'd like to pulverise and then sell as baking-powder, it's 
Freda Morris. I feel furious every time I think of her. 
The way she eyed me up and down made every fibre in 
me stand up in protest, and once, when she passed me in a 
two-step, she whispered something that made her partner 
turn and cast a critical glance at me, and I caught a 
fragment of his reply which sounded uncommonly like 
good taste." 

I will not be discussed as if I were a toy Glen had home 
on approval, and the sooner he understands it the better. 
It's rather humorous, though, if she's got a suspicion I 



THE FIREFLY DANCE 187 

might be brought into the family just when he's beginning 
to have had enough. 

But I suppose, if they idolise him the way Dolly says 
they do, they'd naturally cast a wary eye on any female 
he dangles after though that word sounds ridiculous 
applied to Glen ; his method is rather to sit still and 
dangle the female after him. 

He had a perfectly beastly mood on ; sneered at every 
mortal thing on the face of the earth, laughed at everything 
off it ; told me what a nice girl Dolly was ; how he'd 
no time for girls himself was determined to die an ancient 
bachelor, and would probably go to Europe next year 
for good. 

And I ? I writhed in speechless exasperation and 
beamed on him like an electric bulb. I wish I were a 
man, I'd I'd stamp on him ! 

Dick and I had some great waltzes together (they tell 
me I'm a good dancer now, and he certainly is), but we 
sat most of the other dances out in a jolly little corner 
he found, and once in a glorious motor ; but you had to 
put in early for the motor, it was rather rushed. 

Dick worried me a little ; he said father was looking 
ill when he last saw him, he had caught a chill and 
had a dry, racking cough. " I hope the poor chap's 
not in for consumption," he added ; " is it in the 
family ? " 

" Now, Dick," I pouted scornfully, " my knowledge 
of my family is so full and complete " 

And then we had to laugh. 

" But I say, Peter," Dick said, when the joke of me 
going round like an unregistered dog had ceased to tickle 
us, " do you mean to say you don't know any more yet ? 
Don't the Danishes enlighten you at all ? " 

" Not an atom ! " I shook my head convincingly. 
" Dolly doesn't know anything, and Trixie gets upset if 
I ask questions, so I don't now. It just seems as if they 
had adopted me for some unexplained reason." 

" You can't deny it's funny," Dick urged in excuse of 



i88 PETER PIPER 

his mirth. "And are you going to plank yourself down 
on them for ever ? " 

" They won't hear of me going away," I replied. " To 
mention that upsets Trixie worse than ever; she says 
now she's got me she's going to keep me. What do 
you make of it, Dick ? " 

" Give it up ! " Dick responded promptly. " Sounds 
like a family skeleton, doesn't it ? " 

" It do" I agreed. 

" Never mind," he comforted me, " you won't bother 
'em for long, with your face, Peter. Is it coming to a 
wedding this time ? " 

" Idiot ! " I stormed. 

11 Well, he's a nice chap ; I like him." 

" It's more than he does you ! " I couldn't help saying. 
But Dick is aggravating at times. And just as he was 
saying it (we were in the motor this time), Glen and Dolly 
went past. I felt as furious as could be, and Glen looked 
mad too, for though he couldn't see us under the dark 
hood he recognised my voice. I laughed on purpose. 
I wonder if he was as wild as I was ? How deadly funny ! 

Then Dick replied to my last remark ; " That's because 
he's jealous of me." 

I wonder if he is. 



CHAPTER XXIII 
The Green-eyed Monster 

I SAID I'd never be jealous, Di, and after all I am. It's 
no use lying about it I am. 

I'm raging, madly, furiously jealous ! I never knew it 
could be such an awful thing ; it kills me by inches, and 
the worse it makes me feel the more I think about it. 
I can't put it out of my mind ; I suppose I am weak- 
willed. But, oh ! how I hate her ! 

We were at a party to-night, and he talked to Dolly 
all the evening. When I see him contemplating her a 
lump of fury rises in my throat, and I think if I could 
get my fingers round that plump neck of hers I would 
squeeze and squeeze till her inane, clever-looking face 
went purple, and the blood squelched out between my 
fingers. It's wicked, I know, and she has been good 
to me, but that's what I feel ; and in the middle of it 
someone will ask me if I will have some more butter, 
and once Dolly inquired what colour my new dress was 
going to be, and I could see the blood so thick on my fingers 
I answered " Red," and Dolly gave a little shriek " You 
needn't hurl it at me in that tone ! " she said ; " you 
sound like Charlotte Corday or Joan of Arc ordering me 
to execution." I wished I had been. 

I suppose I am a fool to want him if he's stopped liking 
me. People always seem to think women are fools who 
try for a man they want unless they get him. The 
ridicule of the bad loser who has shown his hand is theirs ; 
and the dreadfullest is, the man may laugh about it with 

189 



PETER PIPER 

the successful girl. Why don't the men women want 
always love them ? I wonder why it is absurd, two women 
after the same man people always laugh. They don't 
laugh if it is two men after the same girl they are sorry 
for the men ; I wonder why ? I suppose it's the old 
fiction lingering that women are to sit at home and wait 
till a man asks them, and then like him whoever he is. 
But I want Glen, not anybody else. Why shouldn't 
I try to make him love me ? I don't knew how. Is it 
because I was brought up so queerly, or because I'm 
one of the poor sort of women who don't know how to 
treat men ? I ought to be able to win him away from 
Polly ; other girls can do such things. Why, Gwen Manners 
told me she did it last month on her holiday, and she 
did it only for fun I call that fiendish but if she could 
do it even when she didn't care, why can't I when I do 
care ? 

Perhaps that's the reason. When you like anyone 
you are handicapped in their presence, that is, if they 
don't care about you. I suppose because you are so 
anxious to make a good impression you become artificial. 
Instead of just being yourself and chancing it, as you do 
with other people, you are trying all the time to see if 
they approve of you as you are, and if they don't you 
try to alter. 

It never struck me before ; I suppose Dolly and I 
look as funny to outsiders as the two Dots. I never quite 
realised the pathos I was laughing at there. You've 
got to be jealous yourself to understand ; people who 
have always been lucky in love can't. How close on the 
borderline of the ridiculous does tragedy lie! Tragedy 
is incongruous in the world. I'm sure the Creator never 
meant it to be here ; He made the world gay and pretty, 
and sorrow crept in when His back was turned ; there's 
a lot of sense in that old Eden story. To sit in the garden 
as I am doing now, with the sun kissing the back of my 
neck, and the smell of the mignonette nearly drowning 
me in its sweetness, and the scarlet and pink beds with 



THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER 191 

the pale sky-blue of the delphiniums in the distance 
merging into the pale-blue skyline, and to have a big 
ache under my blouse (just beneath the sternum, at the 
level of the third rib, etc., as the physiology books tell 
you), seems so awfully incongruous. And yet there are 
dead violets in the beds* 



CHAPTER XXIV 
By the Lily-pond 

WHAT a storm in a teacup ! Glen doesn't care about 
Dolly after all. He came up last night, and Dick came 
too, and Glen wouldn't let him come near me. He talked 
hard to me the whole time exclusively, too, so that the 
others couldn't join in. He ignored Dolly to the verge 
of being rude. 

He wouldn't have behaved like that if he'd liked her, 
would he ? 

I believe he guessed I was hurt about Dolly ; he is 
very clever, and he was trying to make me see there was 
no need. Of course he didn't say anything outright, 
but he kept making little remarks that showed Dolly didn't 
interest him particularly and that he thought she was 
going to many Ralph. 

" What do you think of the idea ? " I asked once. 

" I think it would be a splendid thing for both of 
them," he said frankly. 

" I think so too." 

He was niceness itself ; his very, very best behaviour 
was spread out for my benefit, and if you knew him, Di, 
you'd realise what that means from Glen. Fate gave 
him one of the most charming manners I've ever met, 
but he has been so spoiled that he seldom thinks it necessary 
to air it, and affects a bluntness and insouciance that at 
times border on sheer insolence. 

And to-night he chose his pretty manner. When 
Dolly suggested a walk hi the garden he managed to lose 
them not that they made the manoeuvre particularly 
difficult ; Dolly really is a nice girl. We went down to 

192 



BY THE LILY-POND 193 

the lily-pond as usual ; Dolly reckons I've got a mortgage 
on the place. We sat still a long while without talking 
properly, and we threw stones into the water with a plop- 
splash that set all the grandpapa frogs protesting loudly. 

" Doesn't this remind you of board ship ? " he said 
with a wave of his hand that took in all the exquisite 
quiet and the stars. 

I nodded. " Doesn't it seem hundreds of years ago ? " 

" What a very old woman you must be," he teased. 

" But it does seem funny to think what a little while 
we've known each other, doesn't it ? " I insisted. 

" Very." 

" To think a year ago neither of us knew of the other's 
existence ! " 

" To think I've only been alive so few months ! " Glen 
mused. 

I frowned. " Don't be rude ! " 

" Whatever was rude about that ? " 

" You know it was, and you needn't put on that amazed 
expression. It doesn't take me in one bit." 

" Women are the sheer limit ! " Glen complained. 
" Try to say something pretty to them and they flash 
round and accuse you of being rude. What would you 
like me to say that it's the one grief of my life I ever 
set eyes on you ? " 

" Yes." I tried to smother a smile. " I don't like 
romances, I like truth." 

" But I gave you that the first time." 

" Oh, don't be stupid ! " I said desperately. " Are 
you coming to our ball ? " 

" If you'll dance with me all the time." 

" Goat ! " I called him, and commenced a fusillade 
of gum-blossom. He chased me round the lily-pond, 
and after we had stopped laughing and picked the stamens 
out of each other's hair we went on discussing the dance. 
He's dying for me to go dressed as I used in the West. 
He says I've told him so much about when I was a boy 
he's anxious to see me. Shall I, Di ? Would it be the 

N 



194 PETER PIPER 

thing, I wonder ? I should feel all right, I'm so used to 
them, but would other people who don't know be shocked ? 
Of course we will all be masked, and I could even slip 
away before twelve and put another dress on. The only 
bother now would be my hair, but I can bundle it up under 
a wig, I suppose. He seems quite keen on it, but I wouldn't 
promise. I'll ask Dolly. 

When we got back to the lawn we found Rex there 
too. It made me feel horribly uncomfortable, for my 
frock had a big green stain on it where I fell down when 
Glen chased me, and my hair was all pulled about. 

Rex only shook hands quietly and resumed his seat, 
but I knew his glance had taken me in from head to foot, 
and he looked savage. The air seemed horribly electric, 
and the others must have felt it too, for conversation was 
very strained, and they soon got up to go. 

When they were gone, Dolly said to me, as we folded 
up the chairs, " Some people are fools." 

I took no notice. But it takes more than silence to 
daunt Dolly. 

" Whatever you can see in Glen Morris compared with 
Rex ! " 

" There's no comparison," I retorted. 

" There i^n't," Dolly agreed. " You're a fool ! " 

" Thank you ! " I said. 

Dolly folded up a chair so viciously that she jammed 
her thumb. " I could box your ears sometimes, Peter," 
she said, sucking it industriously. " Ugh ! the brute does 
hurt ! Why are you such a fiend to Rex ? The man's 
madly, insanely in love with you ; I was absolutely fright- 
ened when you came back with Glen to-night, his face 
looked like murder. And you you won't even speak 
to him beyond a cool ' Good-evening, Mr. Ware.' And 
it's to get that crumb of greeting and watch you flirting 
with Glen that the poor fellow comes up here. I suppose 
you think it's me he comes to see. You heartless little 
brat ! Rot ! Pretend to me he doesn't love you." 

" He does not," I raged. 



BY THE LILY-POND 195 

" Pooh ! He'd marry you to-morrow if you'd let him. 
Dare deny it ! " 

I went scarlet. " Mind your own business," I said, 
and flew to my room. 

Oh ! why, why, why must he be a friend of Dolly's ? 
Can't I ever escape from him ? I hate him ! Why 
can't he stop away instead of coming here making Dolly 
say things like that ? 

But, oh ! what did he think to-night ? Does he dare 
imagine I let Glen say things to me like he used ? 

Ah ! How sweet life would be if if Always 

that little if I 



CHAPTER XXV 
Glen Washes Up 

ISN'T there a fascination in watering the garden ? I 
decided to give some of it a bath about four o'clock. I 
love to watch the water drifting like spray over the beds, 
washing the faces of the hollyhocks and dahlias. Dahlias 
have got faces with frizzy negressy curls like mine used 
to be. When the drops hang on the geranium blooms 
they look like a pendant of rubies and diamonds. 

I had a white frock on, and I soon regretted it. I think 
I got more washing than the garden, but I do like to put 
my hand in front of the nozzle and feel the force that 
is behind the feather-diamond drift. I turned it on 
Foxy Bill once, and how he did run ! But the flowers 
all looked so fresh and perky after it, it was like giving 
them afternoon tea. 

I wonder why nothing at all makes one happy. Or 
perhaps it was the scent of the carnations. 

" Peach-tree," I said gravely to a double, pale-pink 
one thick with glory, " if you don't stop looking so idiotic- 
ally pleased with yourself I'll sing." 

I laughed, and someone else laughed too. I wheeled 
quickly, and Glen got the hose full in his face I'd forgotten 
I held it. 

" Here, I say ! " he began, ducking. I dropped it, 
and the creature began to jump with the pressure of the 
water like they sometimes do, and squirmed all over the 
place after us like a snake, hissing jets of water as we 
fled. 

I wiped him down with his handkerchief and mine 
too. and he was as fidgety as could be about it. He would 

IQ6 



GLEN WASHES UP 197 

insist on having his face dried properly. I believe it 
was because he liked the feel of my fingers. 

" It serves you right, you know," I said, getting in 
first. " You shouldn't come up so silently and startle 
folk. And will you please go and turn the tap off or 
the place will be flooded." 

I picked up the hose and directed the last squirt at 
a clump of cannas standing up very stiff and shiny and 
conceited. After it they leant back against the fence, 
looking exhausted. 

" It is," I said dropping the hose, " a delightful surprise 
to see you. Dolly is out." 

" And you > " 

" I'm going to get the tea. All the maids are off ; it 
is a holiday, you know." 

" And you ? " he said again. 

" You may grind the coffee-beans," I capitulated, 
" or empty out the tea-leaves. We can go for a stroll 
round the garden fiist. But, seriously, I thought you were 
going to that picnic." 

" And, seriously, so were you." 

" Yes, but I was in bed all the morning with a bilious 
attack. Prosaic, but the truth." 

" And I had work to do at the office." 

" Prosaic, but not the truth," I commented. " I 

believe Dolly told I stopped hastily. I had nearly 

said that she had told him I was not going. What a 
conceited idiot I should have sounded ! 

His face was inscrutable. " You never know, do 
you ? " he said. 

He helped me get the tea. Only Dr. Danish and Trixie 
were at home, and they were going out in the evening. 
It was comical to see him carrying in a trayful of dishes. 
I spent so much time laughing at him and telling him 
where to put the things, I could have done it by myself 
in half the time. 

" Why will you insist on being so absurd ? " I asked 
him once. 



198 PETER PIPER 

His red brown eyes laughed at me, but his mouth was 
serious. " I'm seeing what it feels like to be married," 
he explained. 

" Oh ! " I said, feeling my cheeks redden. " I see ! 
' Five years ago I used your soap, since when ' 

" There is another alternative," he suggested. 

" Speak no such horror ! " I fenced. We kept up this 
nonsense all the time ; we really did enjoy ourselves. 

I insisted on tying a large apron round him when he 
helped me fry the chops, and he did look funny. Trixie 
and the Doctor laughed at us during tea, but we didn't 
mind. And afterwards we washed up, and I made him 
put the dishes away under my direction. I said if he was 
out for local colour he might as well do the thing properly, 
and he agreed with me. 

It did seem so cosy, too, in the big, dark kitchen. 
It was really rather dark, for something went wrong with 
the electric light and we were reduced to candles, but I'd 
never felt so homelike with Glen before, we seemed so 
close to each other. I think he felt it too. And once 
when he was taking a glass dish from me he did it very 
slowly, as if his fingers didn't like letting go mine. 

When that was all done he said it was his turn to com- 
mand, and we were going for a motor ride, so we went. 
It was a beautiful drive, but we didn't talk much, and when 
we got home we had to get our own supper. 

Here I took charge again. We were both ravenously 
hungry, so what do you think we decided to have for 
supper, Di ? Omelettes ! It was perfectly daft, of course, 
but then we both were daft this night, so I started to make 
them. Glen sat on the table and watched me, and got all 
over flour. I let him help beat up the eggs, and we were 
laughing like a couple of children playing at housekeeping 
and Glen had only lit one candle this time when Dolly 
and Rex came in back from the picnic ! 

I felt horrible for a minute. Dolly teased us frankly, 
but I didn't mind that it was Rex. He stood quietly 
in the doorway, but his eyes stormed mine. He was 



GLEN WASHES UP 199 

challenging me to remember another room I used to do 
cooking in, and when my helper wasn't Glen. Why will 
he make me remember ? What good does it do ? 

When we were shaking hands on the veranda I said, 
" Hasn't it been a lovely holiday ? " 

" Great ! " Glen said. " Wouldn't you like to spend 
'em all that way ? " 

" Just our two selves ? " I cried in mock horror. 
" Don't you think it would be monotonous ? " 

We looked at each other, then we looked away. 

" Possibly," he said, " but," he added, " not probably." 



CHAPTER XXVI 
Ralph Seeks Advice 

Di, I've two huge jokes to tell you. First of all, we're 
asked to a party at the Morris's. Isn't it huge ? I know 
it's being given for me, too, that's what's tickling Dolly 
and me to death. I never told you that I met Freda 
Morris, did I, Di ? She was round at Lucy Rees' to tennis 
one day, and made herself tremendously agreeable to me. 
She would have been impertinently curious if I had let 
her. I didn't. She told Dolly her cousin was rather a 
haughty young lady. Fancy me being called haughty ! 
Dolly simply squealed. I think it's huge myself. But 
she's not going to patronise me ; I'm not going to be 
sampled by the family, like a cake, to see if I'll interfere 
with their precious Glen's digestion. If I want Glen I'll 
have him without consulting them, providing he wants 
me which he doesn't. 

She told me very sweetly, as we parted, I must come 
and see them some time, and I responded it was the one 
thing in the world needful to complete my happiness, or 
words to that effect, and mentally I added, " Will I, 
just ! " I suppose this invitation is the outcome. I 
don't want to go, but Dolly says I simply must. She wants 
to, and she declares she wouldn't have the face to turn up 
without me, since it's me out of the family they want to 
see. So we've accepted. Hang the Morrises ! 

Dolly says they have a lovely home and it's sure to be 
a nice party, and that's some comfort, but it's awful to 
be on inspection. 

Oh dear ! I do detest Glen sometimes. He doesn't 
want me to go, though, that partly consoles me. I don't 

oo 



RALPH SEEKS ADVICE 201 

know whether he's afraid they will put my back up, or 
whether I'll vent my probable dislike of them on him. 
I believe myself he's just annoyed with Freda for taking 
a hand in his game at all. It spoils the bloom of things 
when you've got to let third parties into your garden 
grown for two. Glen was right, it is better fun when 
people don't know anything about it. 

The other joke is Ralph. He's in love with Dolly. 
I'm simply certain of it ; he's all but told me, though 
not in so many words. 

I was fishing in the lily-pond this afternoon when he 
came. Really you'd think I lived there ; every time I 
talk to you I seem to have been down to the lily-pond, 
don't I, Di ? It is such fun fishing in it, though. I 
suppose you'll think me a baby. I use a bent pin and bits 
of bread. You should just see the way those goldfishes 
rush the party ; they consider it a highly novel kind of 
tea-fight. They do fight, too, for best place at the pin, 
and the way they wag their red tails (they're double- 
tailed, too Jack got them in Melbourne) is downright 
exhilarating. I was so absorbed one day in watching 
them enjoy themselves, I tumbled in. There was nobody 
about to rescue me, either. Ralph said I ought to time 
these little opportunities better. 

This afternoon I was sprawling on my face, crumpling 
all my clean white dress, and daring Foxy Bill to jump 
in. The old coward just sniffed at me and tied his back- 
bone into knots by way of apology ; he hates water. 
I couldn't have looked very dignified, and I'd like to know 
how long Ralph had been contemplating me before he 
laughed. I scrambled up to a sitting posture, flattened 
down my skirts, and started to bait a fresh pin. I wouldn't 
have gone on in front of everybody, but Ralph never laughs 
at me. He's far too nice for a clergyman. 

" I would have a dog that didn't bark at people when 
they came," he said, " wouldn't I, Foxy Bill ? " pulling 
that gentleman's ears. 

" You are a fool, Bill ! " I admitted more in sorrow 



202 PETER PIPER 

than in anger ; and he did parabolic curves with his tail 
and grinned like a Chesliire cat, and did everything else 
he could think of to propitiate me. 

" For goodness sake, don't ! " I ordered. " The way 
he does fancy tricks with his spine is bad enough, making 
you imagine you've got a pet boa-constrictor instead of 
a dog, but when he draws back his lips and gives that 
toothy smile he makes my flesh creep. Did you ever see 
anything so insane, Ralph ? If there was a home for 
weak-minded dogs I'd send Bill there." 

" You are a bit of an idiot, aren't you, Bill ? " Ralph 
said. Bill wagged his tail in enthusiastic agreement. 

" Never mind," I said, putting an arm round his neck 
(Bill's neck, of course, not Ralph's), " I love him, weak 
mind and all. It's funny how you can love people just 
as much for their faults as for their virtues." 

" Not a bit. It's hard to love virtuous people. It's 
much more human nature to hate them because they make 
you feel worse by comparison." 

He lay on his back and chewed grass for awhile, and 
I went on fishing. 

" Nothing to do this afternoon ? " I inquired; 

" No." 

" Dolly not at home ? " 

" No." 

Conversation languished, so 1 turned my attention 
again to the tea-fight. All at once Ralph said, " Peter ! '* 

" Yes." 

" You know you're a jolly sensible girl. I think a lot 
of your opinion." 

" That's awfully nice of you, Ralph. Something you 
want to talk over ? " 

" Yes ; I want your advice." 

Another pause while I fished industriously. Then 
Ralph resumed in a voice so casual it positively bristled 
with significance. 

" Peter, when a fellow is fond of a girl how on earth 
is he to know when he's far enough on to tell her so ? " 



RALPH SEEKS ADVICE 203 

" I'm not a complete edition of ' Hints to Young 
Bachelors,' Ralph," I pointed out. But he was too intent 
on saying his say to mind me laughing. 

" There's a pal of mine," he resumed, " likes a girl 
rather, and he thinks she likes him too, but is not sure 
how much." 

" There's one way of finding out," I suggested. 

" Yes, but " (I felt like telling him he'd be ill if he 
ate much more grass) " he doesn't want to spoil things. 
You see, they're pretty good friends as it is, and that's 
better than nothing, and if he asked her and she wouldn't 
have him of course everything would be well, she wouldn't 
like him round her the same, would she ? " 

" I suppose not." 

" What would you advise him to do ? " 

" My dear Ralph, I wouldn't dream of advising him 
at all ; it's none of my business." 

" I suppose not." His voice sounded melancholy. 

Really it's too ridiculous, that big tease lovesick. I 
melted. 

" One feels rather awkward about butting in, in a 
matter like this, you know, Ralph ; every man must 
just do what he thinks best. If he thinks it's too soon, 
he'd better not rush it ; but if he's just ordinarily nervous 
of speaking girls as a general rule like boldness even 
to the verge of impudence. There's a lot of truth in 
' Faint heart ' and other proverbs like that." 

" Thanks ! " 

Ralph changed the conversation. Does he imagine 
for one minute he's bluffed me ? Men are quaint. 

I wish I could tell Dolly, but it wouldn't be playing 
the game. 



CHAPTER XXVII 
Glen's Perplexity 

Di, I feel an intense sympathy for the man whose chief 
attribute seems to be that " he dunno where he are." 
I'd say to him, " Shake hands same here." But I am 
so puzzled about Glen. I like him and detest him, and 
find him amusing and queerly shrewd and crudely 
young all at the same time, or at any rate the different 
feelings chase each other at such a speed that, like a 
cinematograph, they give the appearance of a continuous 
whole. 

I can't make up my mind whether he's tired of me 
or is in love with me. It simply must be one or other, 
otherwise his conduct is inexplicable. Dick reckons 
he's in love with me ; I almost think it too, but it 
sounds so conceited and stupid to say ; and suppose 
I am wrong after all, and it's only n-erves or liver 
complaint ? 

But even then I don't think any fellow would behave 
quite as disagreeably to a girl as he does to me, unless 
he was fond of her. If I didn't think that I'd give him 
my opinion of his manners in a way that would fairly 
make him sit up. 

It can't be that he wants to make me quarrel with him 
so as to get out without dirtying his boots, because I gave 
him the chance, a real plain, obvious chance, and he 
wouldn't take it, and so, you see it really does look as 
if he cared, doesn't it ? Perhaps I sound daft, Di ? but 
he is inexplicable now. 

Goodness ! but men are different when you know them 

104 



GLEN'S PERPLEXITY 205 

really at least, Glen is. When he first meets a girl he's 
like caster sugar, sweet and mushy. I liked him so much, 
he was always subtly making a fuss of me, and hinting 
he adored me, and in the thousand and one little ways 
men use he made me look forward to his coming and feel 
sorry when he left. He kept coming up, and it must 
have been mainly because of me, since, though he had 
known the Danishes for a long time, he hadn't gone there 
except when especially invited. 

Lately, as I told you, he has been always talking 
about love and arguing round it, and wondering why it 
bites us all. That didn't matter to him, he was only 
playing with the fire and its warmth amused him, but now 
I think he's burnt and it makes him resentful. I know- 
he hates being in love with me, and I think that's what 
makes him so queer. 

He's always making fun of love, these days, jeering 
at it as if he were defying himself and it, and now it makes 
me madly angry with him, and now it makes me awfully 
sorry. I think I'm always the sorrier when he's away ; 
I can't help seeing it from his point of view, and it is 
rotten for him. Of course I would be telling an obvious 
lie if I pretended it didn't please me rather to think he 
likes me. A man's affection is a compliment that must 
exhilarate any girl. I wouldn't like him not to care, 
but, all the same, I could find it in my heart to wish he 
didn't. I suppose I don't love him if I feel like that, 
because they say love is always selfish. Ah ! I've cause 
enough to know the truth of that. 

You see, Di, the way I explain it to myself is this : 
Glen is only twenty-four ; he's the youngest partner in 
a young firm ; he couldn't get married for a long time 
yet, he hasn't money enough ; his people are well off, 
but I couldn't bear to live on them ; besides, even if we 
did agree to try and live on the smell of an oiled rag, a 
wife and family is a tremendous handicap for an ambitious 
young lawyer. And I hate long engagements, and so 
does he, because he asked me if I minded ; and it's really 



206 PETER PIPER 

just as bad as an engagement if you have a private under- 
standing he asked me that too. 

Then again, twenty-four is young to take your grab 
in the matrimonial bran-pie. He might meet someone 
else much nicer than me in a few years, and it's hardly 
fair to me, he thinks, to ask me to wait an indefinite time. 
One-tenth consideration for me, nine-tenths for himself. 

That's the way, I've come to the conclusion, Glen argues. 
I wonder if I'm right. Perhaps he doesn't care twopence 
about me, after all. 

I think he does, but he wishes we hadn't met for another 
four or five years. Of course an unsettled mind like that 
is apt to be wearing on the temper, for he can't make up 
his mind to let me go altogether. Sometimes he chases 
me" out of his head and stops away for a fortnight or three 
weeks, and I never see or hear a sign of him, and then 
he suddenly turns up as if nothing had happened. I used 
to get angry at first, but now it amuses me rather. I 
wonder if it ever occurs to him to wonder how I like being 
played battledore and shuttlecock with. I don't think 
it would ; it wouldn't interest him much anyway nobody 
interests him except as they directly affect himself, he's 
tremendously self-centred. I wouldn't call him selfish 
exactly, because selfishness seems to imply a petty outlook 
and he has not that ; his egotism is more of the Napoleonic- 
Bismarck style he'd just brush anything out of his way 
that was no use to him. I suppose he must want me, 
or I should have gone by the board ages ago. Heigh-ho ! 
that ought to be some consolation. 

I believe he's always horrid now to prevent himself 
making love to me, but, even thinking that, it gets monot- 
onous. Now and again he is nice for a while, just his old 
self (and he can be nice when he chooses), but it never lasts 
long. Dick says he's hooked, but I tell him to mind 
his own business and not be vulgar. 

I had such a lovely dream about him last night ; it 
sounds so stupid to tell you, Di, but I did like it. It 
started in a mad way like most dreams do. I was standing 



GLEN'S PERPLEXITY 207 

with Trixie in Pine Street, and he sailed up to me as cool 
as ice-cream and said, " Hallo ! " I responded, " Hallo." 
He next inquired if I'd heard the cricket score. I replied, 
" No." He then said, " Let's walk home, will you ? " 
So I said to Trixie, " You catch the next car, we're going 
to walk," and off we sailed as calmly as if it was my usual 
habit to be carrying a basket of vegetables in the main 
streets of Adelaide, and to leave my chaperon cooling her 
heels on the pavement at his bidding. But he always 
makes me do what he wants. 

He carried a bag in one hand himself, but he kindly 
took my basket from me (the vegetables had quite naturally 
by this time disappeared). Then all of a sudden we were 
out at Mitcham, strolling down Lovers' Lane, and it was 
moonlight. It was idiotic enough up till then, but from 
that minute I felt just like I do ordinarily with him. 

When I went to turn down our street he said in his 
abrupt way, " Don't go home yet, I want to say something 
to you." 

" Well, why don't you say it ? " I inquired as we went 
in beneath the chequered plane-trees. 

" Don't feel like it now," he replied. 

We walked on in silence for a bit. 

" Oh ! " I said, " do let me take my basket, it's awkward 
carrying one in each hand." 

Somewhat to my surprise he gave it up to me without 
a protest, but I got a bigger shock still when all of a 
sudden I felt his arm round me. But I just couldn't 
say a word, and he didn't either. It was the loveliest, 
silliest kind of love-making you ever heard of, Di. We 
went on ages without saying anything ; I felt absurdly 
happy and content, and he did too, I know, and I felt 
he was going to kiss me when we got to our gate ; and 
just half a dozen yards away from it Dolly woke me up. 
If she had only left me just one second longer we would 
have reached the gate. 

I wonder if I love him ? If I don't, why did I feel 
so safe and happy when he drew me to him ? When other 



208 PETER PIPER 

men have tried to at dances, I felt sick and frightened ; 
it brought back Rex that funny look in the eyes. 

Rex has not been near us for ages and ages. I think 
he has been out of Adelaide for some time. I am glad. 
I do not think I would ever be frightened with Glen. I 
wonder if he is a different sort of man from Rex, or is it 
only my surroundings and friends and position that 
ensure his respect ? If he had found me a nameless, 
unconventional little savage, as Rex did, would he have 
behaved like him ? 

I wonder if all men are alike ? Surely my old Dick 
could never be rotten to any girl. But more and more 
I begin to realise it isn't their goodness keeps girls good, 
it's society, the weight and influence of opinion, that stops 
a man saying anything she should not hear to a girl of his 
own set, who could avenge the insult through her relations 
and friends. They are so protected and hedged round by 
conventionality, so safe by their assured position, the 
breath of lawless passion beats itself in vain on their social 
barriers ; they rarely even hear, much less feel it. But 
I I begin to see a little now that I must have seemed 
fair game. 

Girls are not allowed to face the raw truths of life, 
they are sheltered from them by the kindly tyranny of 
the home. I had no home, no barrier ; I was met, un- 
warned and unarmed, by the very whirlwind of passion 
is it wonder I was withered in it ? It is not just to condemn 
me, it is not, indeed it is not. Lucy Rees, Dot Parks, 
Dolly herself, all these girls I go about with, play tennis 
with, meet and like, all these girls who are accounted 
good, and who, if they knew, would treat me like a leper 
put them in my place, would they have been stronger 
than I ? 

Peter, Peter ! you can never forget. I wonder if 
Glen would understand ? 



CHAPTER XXVIII 
Glen's People 

RALPH and Dolly and Glen and I went down to Glenelg 
to-night. I'm simply aching to tell you, Di, it was the 
most squealable thing you ever heard of. To be precise, 
we didn't go down together, for Dolly and I went down 
in the afternoon for a swim, and we had arranged to meet 
the boys about half-past five and go to tea in the kiosk. 

It was glorious in the water ; that clearness you can 
see through to the very bottom, feet and feet of it just 
stirring slightly like a half-set jelly ; and there were lots 
of girls there we knew, too, so we had a jolly time. It's 
comical how different they look in bathing-gowns, though ; 
some of them are quite hard to recognise with their hair 
in wet tails round their cheeks and their lips half blue with 
chill. But looks don't matter when you're enjoying your- 
self. And everybody seems no age at all in the water. 
You can't tell the difference between a grown-up girl 
and a school-flapper ; it's clothes that define age. 

Then it's so pretty to see them sitting out on the 
spring-board in a petticoat, with bare feet, drying their 
hair, brushing it till it flies out electrically like a seaweed 
cloud around their faces, and the sun gets under it for 
a shade. 

I think the sun must be so glad when the clouds shelter 
him a bit. It must be awful to be hot all the time. 

We met the boys on the sea wall, and we started up 
the jetty. Of course Ralph and Dolly got behind, they 
always do, so equally of course Glen and I were ahead. 
All this is important to explain what happened, Di, so 
don't yawn. There were not many people on the jetty 
o 209 



ic PETER PIPER 

then, most had gone home to tea, so you could see the few 
who were ages off. 

The sea had gone clean off to sleep, only now and again 
a little shiver ran all over it, like animals do when they 
have had dreams. I wonder if the sea ever dreams, and 
what it dreams about ? There was a very young wind 
who had forgotten the time, trying to get home before 
jEolus shut the cave up. And all of a sudden Glen said, 
" Good Lord ! " 

" What is it ? " I said quickly. 

He glanced at me in quizzical dismay. " My people ! " 

And then I saw Freda with an old lady and gentleman. 

" Shall we turn and go back ? " I suggested. 

" Too late they've seen us." 

"Well " I began. 

" I suppose we'll have to stop and speak to them for 
a second do you mind ? but I can hardly stalk past, 
and I say," he said, " I'm awfully sorry." 

I was sure he was, but I thought it would be rather 
comic myself, so I said it couldn't be helped. So we halted 
each other in an accidental sort of way (I could see Freda 
had meant to from the first), and Glen introduced me. 

" Freda, you know Miss Delaney, don't you ? This 
is my father, Miss Delaney, and my mother. I didn't 
know you were coming down to-night," he added lamely. 

" We just decided on the spur of the minute to motor 
down for a breeze," Mamma said. She has a sharp voice 
and was muffled up in motor wraps, it was too dusky 
to make out her face. " It's so fresh down here, don't 
you think ? " 

" Very nice indeed," I said, feeling rather, under Freda's 
scrutiny, as if I'd been caught in flagrante ddicto. " I am 
very fond of the Bay." 

" You live here ? " 

" Oh, no ; in town. I think the Bay is like chocolate, 
to be taken in moderate doses, otherwise you feel satiated." 

" Dear me ! " said Mamma politely. 

I couldn't think of anything more to say nor could 



GLEN'S PEOPLE 211 

anybody else for a second. You know that awful pause 
that comes in conversation when one topic is finished 
and no one has started another. Freda came to the rescue. 

" We must be getting back to the motor, Mamma," 
she said easily. " Good-bye, Glen ; good-bye, Miss 
Delaney." Her eyes snapped at us like the ends of two 
live wires in contact. 

When we got up to the kiosk, Ralph and Dolly, who 
had viewed the scene from afar off, leaned over the railings 
and shrieked with laughter. Of course we laughed too, 
but I think Glen was a bit wild. Still, he was awfully 
nice. 

I think Pa would be the best of them, he never said 
anything, but his eyes gave us such a jolly twinkle as if 
he liked to see people enjoying themselves. I wonder 
what they thought of me. 

Anyway, we had a lovely time on the beach afterwards: 
And there's the party next Friday. 



CHAPTER XXIX 
Maidenhair 

THE party was quite nice after all, and even the inspection 
wasn't so bad, though they all turned out in full force 
Pa and Ma and Sissie. They weren't obtrusive about it, 
and I really liked Pa he is undoubtedly a charming old 
gentleman ; I guess it's from him Glen gets his pretty 
manners. I had to play cards with him part of the time. 
It was a euchre party, and, though I was feeling rather 
shy and uncomfortable, by the time we got up to go to 
the next table he had me laughing as if I had known him 
for years. I think he liked me too. 

I'm not so sure about Mamma. She is stout, with pierc- 
ing eyes ; they tried to bore right through me, to see if 
the inside was as good quality as the outside. Sissie never 
got past the out, but she took that in with an eagle glance. 

I was so glad I had a new frock. It's silver net over 
steel-blue glace, and it makes me slim and curvy. Jack 
said I looked like a snake-charmer. Glen happened to be 
going past me at the minute, and he stopped and murmured 
so that I could just hear, " The last word is right." 

" What of ? " I mocked, though I was pleased. 

He gave me that queer direct glance of his that always 
makes me drop my eyes and said in the same undertone, 
" Have a guess." 

I got fearfully interested in the tassel of my girdle, and 
he moved on. 

I didn't see very much of him, because, of course, he 
was playing host and had to be everywhere, but it was a 
nice feeling to know that, no matter where he was, if I 
were to raise my eyebrows just the least he would be 

312 



MAIDENHAIR 213 

at my side in less time than it takes to write. It's delightful 
to feel a man hangs on the crook of your little finger, and 
for all his pride and queerness I believe Glen does care 
about me now. 

Freda had a hard try to pump me ; she wants to know 
how far things have gone. I wonder if Glen's given her 
a hint at all. She insisted, when we were putting on our 
cloaks, on showing me her room and some Oriental rugs 
because I had, in the course of conversation, incautiously 
said that I admired them, and about every three minutes 
she'd drag in some remark about Glen. I stonewalled all 
I knew, and switched back desperately to rugs. The 
effect was something like this. 

Freda : " Glen goes out a lot more now than he used, 
I believe. It used to worry us, he seemed inclined to be 
a perfect recluse a little while ago ; now I suppose you 
meet him at most places, don't you ? " 

Me : " Yes, just about. Miss Morris, I think your rugs 
perfect." 

Freda : " Rather decent, aren't they ? I think I'll 
come as something Eastern to your masked ball; Glen's 
going to take me. It's rather nice, I find, to have a brother 
to trot round with ; he never would go anywhere with 
me once. I believe some of the credit of his reformation 
belongs to you." 

Me : " Oh, I don't know about that. Did you ever 
see such a darling little joss ? Where did you get it ? " 

Freda : " Colombo. You wouldn't believe how pleased 
Mamma and I are at the change in him, and Dolly told me 
our thanks are due to you." 

Me (under my breath) : " Liar ! " 

Rreda : " We like the Danishes awfully, they're old 
friends of ours, and Dolly tells me you all see quite a lot 
of him." 

Me (vaguely) : " Oh, yes ; I hope we shall see you too 
(this last a brilliant inspiration). Thank you so much for 
showing me the rugs, but I'm sure the others are waiting 
for me." (That girl's got impudent eyes.) 



214 PETER PIPER 

The two Dots were there, and didn't they measure 
lances ! My word, I wouldn't be Jack for something ; 
it's a wonder his hair doesn't go grey, balancing between 
them, though in a way it's all right for him just at present, 
he gets two lots of sugar instead of one. But there'll be 
trouble later on. The one with the black eyes has a temperi 

Yes, if Jack doesn't make up his mind soon, there'll 
be trouble. Personally I put my money on Dot Lavington, 
so does Glen. But you never know, I wonder if either of 
them really care, or if it is just a feminine duel for the 
love of the battle. I hope it's the latter ; it's rather 
pitiful if either minds. I believe Dot Parks does a little, 
that's why the other will win. It doesn't pay to care in 
this world. 

Ralph's worried about something too. It's so unlike 
him to be glum, that just after supper, when we happened 
to be talking awhile a little apart from the others, I said : 
" What's the matter, Ralph ? " 

" Nothing, of course," he said, summoning up a smile* 
" Am I dull ? I'm sorry." 

" I don't want to pry into your affairs," I said, " but 
for the last few minutes you've been staring into the garden 
with a face as gloomy as if you'd received your death- 
warrant." 

" It's not my death-warrant," he said, " it's another 
chap's. But it's no use worrying about it." 

" Couldn't I help you ? " I asked. 

" I'm afraid not, unless you've 300 to give away." 

" Goodness ! " I gasped. 

" It's a large order, isn't it ? The same old story, 
embezzlement bit by bit. He's an old college pal of mine, 
and I'd give anything to save him. I know he'd run straight 
in future, but I don't see what I'm going to do about it. 
You can't ask many people to give a sum like that without 
security, especially to hush up a crime. People who've 
never been tempted are horribly hard on those who've 
gone wrong. Why, Peter ! " he caught my hand, " little 
girl, don't take it like that. I wish I hadn't told you." 



MAIDENHAIR 215 

" It isn't that," I said, fighting a sudden rush of absurd 
tears, " never mind now. But, Ralph, I wish I could help 
perhaps I could. I'll go and see father's bankers ; he 
told me I could have more than my allowance if I wanted 
it. I don't know how much he's got. I could try." 

" Oh, we couldn't take your father's money for a thing 
like that without his consent," Ralph objected, though 
there was a gleam of hope in his eye. " I'll try elsewhere 
first. Perhaps some of our old boys might club together ; 
I'll try them." 

That's all we had a chance to say, for we were swamped 
and swept apart in some new game they had started. 
Besides, Glen came and took possession of me he said 
he was my partner. He lingered a minute as they all dis- 
appeared in laughing couples through the French windows, 
and then he said to me, abrupt as usual : " You don't 
want to go in, do you ? " 

" Not particularly," I answered, " but " 

" Come along and I'll show you the fern-house." 

I hesitated a minute, and then our eyes met, and I 
laughed and gathered up my skirt ; at least, you can't 
lift these tight ones much, but I didn't want it to scrape 
up all the gravel on the garden paths, so I tried till I saw 
Glen casting a surreptitious glance at my ankle, and I 
dropped it hastily. I don't really see why I should mind 
him looking at my ankles, because they are nicely turned, 
but it doesn't seem to be the thing when you've got a long 
skirt on to lift it high, though goodness knows, in the street, 
if the skirt is cut that way, you may wear it as short 
as you like. Isn't convention a funny, unreasonable 
thing ? 

" I devoutly hope," I said as we slipped down the 
lantern-lit path, " that no one will see us." 

" Why ? " He touched my arm to help me over a rut. 

" Because He just looked at me. 

The fern-house was lovely, ours is simply nothing in 
comparison to it ; it's like they have in the Gardens 
great walls of maidenhair fern, and big palms, and a 



216 PETER PIPER 

fountain with exquisite water-lilies in the centre and leaves 
that looked like young carpets, and those tropical leaf 
bulbs that grow on the wall ; the fern, self-sown, was like 
a little jungle even on the floor. Glen picked some sprays 
and held them against my head. 

" Maidenhair," he said in a soft voice, and I felt stupid 
again and could only look at the floor. Then he insisted 
on fastening some just over my ear, and while he was doing 
it and of course he had to bend quite close to me to get 
it in enter sister Freda and a man ! 

Isn't that my luck all over, Di ? How we got out of 
that fernhouse I don't know. I wouldn't have minded 
anybody so much as Freda, her smile infuriates me. 

I wish Ralph would hurry up and ask Dolly. Does 
it really take such a fearful lot of courage to propose ? 



CHAPTER XXX 
Dolly Asks Questions 

ISN'T it exciting ? Maria has hatched thirteen chickens 
out of thirteen eggs she is a wonderful hen ! I spent all 
this morning down in the fowl-yard. I do adore fowls, 
but I believe I've told you that before, Di. I wonder 
if they've got any brains at all, if they know they're fowls 
and not pigs ? I wonder if they realise that a pig is different 
from a fowl ? That's not an absurd remark, because 
knowing that a thing is not the same as yourself is not 
realising it ; it is different. That sounds awfully subtle, 
but it's not. 

Why I admire Maria is because she does what she's 
there for and does it well, she's not always busy scrapping 
\\ith the next-door hen or flirting with Algernon (that's 
my pet rooster) through the wire-netting. She's there 
to hatch eggs and she hatches 'em. There's a lot in 
fulfilling your mission. It does seem quaint for a fowl 
to have a mission, doesn't it ? Have I one ? I suppose 
everybody has. 

I mustn't forget to ask Jack to nail up that hole in 
the fence ; the fowls have been getting into the cabbage- 
bed again, and Wilkins was mad. He told Pearl he'd 
screw their necks if he caught them. I think Wilkins is 
sweet on Pearl, he's always coming up to the kitchen to see 
the time or for something he's forgotten, and of which 
Pearl couldn't possibly know the present residence. I 
think she likes him, too, because she makes fun of him 
to me. Women are comic things, but they can't bluff 
each other. I like being one more every day. 

I wonder how much a woman ought to like a man before 
217 



218 PETER PIPER 

she marries him ? I don't think all people who marry are 
desperately in love ; they often are just used to each 
other and don't think they'd rub along better with any- 
one else. I wonder if 

Trixie started to talk to me about Glen to-day. She 
was very discreet, but it was horribly embarrassing. Dolly 
had a bout with me too. There's no discreetness about 
her, she waded in head first. That metaphor is clumsy, 
but so is Dolly. 

I had a headache and went to bed early, so my lady 
came and squatted on the foot to have a yarn when it 
got a bit better. Being in bed I couldn't escape, and 
my only method of suppression was to bury my head 
under the bedclothes, which was not half as satisfactory 
as suppressing her. 

" Peter," was her graceful way of breaking the ice, 
" are you going to marry Glen ? " 

" Certainly not, unless he asks me," I replied. 

" Don't side-step ! Of course he will, sooner or later." 

" That's not inevitable." 

" What I want to know is, are you going to have him 
when he does ? " 

" Good Lord ! " I began helplessly. Dolly stared down 
at me with marked disapproval. 

" I suppose you are," she said, " but I won't congratulate 
you, so there ! I think you're perfectly blind to take him 
when you could have " 

" Dolly, you're making my head worse," I protested. 

" Humph ! " Dolly's snort was a sheer triumph of 
disdain. " Funny it doesn't get worse talking of Glen. 
Heartless little cat." 

" Dolly ! " The tears came into my eyes, and she 
patted my forehead in swift remorse. 

" There, never mind, never mind ; of course you're 
not, Peter, only such a fool." She sighed over my idiocy 
and went. 

But wasn't that a silly thing to say ? Fancy asking 
a girl if she's going to marry a man before he wants her 



DOLLY ASKS QUESTIONS 219 

to ! What could she answer but no ? Men do put girls 
in rotten positions. Sometimes I think I don't like being 
a girl at all. 

I wonder if it would be fair to Maria to " set " her again ? 
She is so good-natured, and one always imposes on good 
nature. It doesn't pay to possess virtues in excess, does 
it ? But thirteen out of thirteen ! isn't she a trick ? 

Di, do you suppose Glen really wants to marry me ? 



CHAPTER XXXI 
Peter Engaged 

Di, it happened just like I dreamt it, or at least much 
the same way. Of course I ought to be in bed, but I 
must tell you first. You see, the masked ball was to-night 
at least, I mean last night, because it's to-morrow morning 

by now How mixed I'm getting, but you can see 

what I mean. 

Three guesses, Di; I always tell you the end at the 
beginning, don't I ? But Glen and I are engaged. There ! 

I haven't told Dolly yet. He's coming round to-morrow 
morning to tell Trixie and Dr. Danish I mean to-day 
morning, of course but I suppose we'll have to write and 
ask father before we can announce it. 

What do you think of it, Di ? I wonder if I have done 
right ? But I do like him, I really do awfully ; I don't 
think I can ever like anyone more, and he is so clever he 
would never be dull. Of course he doesn't make me feel 
like Rex used, but that is perhaps because I was so much 
younger and not used to men ; and besides, a feeling 
that can bring such disaster cannot surely be good. I 
know he will be very good to me, and Trixie and the Doctor 
will be pleased, and it is nice to be loved. Besides, I liked 
it when he kissed me. I think I must love him, but it's 
a different sort of love. And Lucy Rees told me when 
you are engaged you get fonder of each other than before. 
And I must be fond of him if I could be jealous of Dolly. 

The ball was such fun. I went as Peter Piper after 
all. Dolly said she didn't see why I shouldn't, but it was 
perfectly awful buying the clothes. We had to go into the 

220 



PETER ENGAGED 221 

men's department, and the assistants stared so at Dolly 
and me, I know they thought I was buying clothes for 
my husband, the way they grinned, and when I told the 

man to enter them he said inquiringly, " Mrs. ? " 

" Miss Delaney," I said, and positively fled before the 
amusement in his eyes. 

Ugh ! I wouldn't go through it again for something ; 
but when I was dressed I was rather pleased with myself. 
Dolly was loud in her admiration. Trixie was a wee bit 
scandalised, I think. She said, " Peter, did you really 
go about dressed like that ? " 

" Rather ! " I said ; and all of a sudden I longed to 
be on Nugget's back, eating up the miles in a race towards 
the sun, to be in at the death, instead of going to a stupid 
dance. I rubbed a tentative hand down my moleskins 
and wondered if Fran would yell in a minute for me to 
go and help him polish the saddles. Trixie's voice brought 
me back to earth. 

" How perfectly awful ! " she said with conviction. 
" Jim ought to be ashamed of himself." 

" Oh ! " I said blankly, glancing down at my leggings. 
" Hadn't I better wear them ? " 

" I should say so," Dolly broke in. " You look a real 
trick, Peter, and, honestly, no one will know you with a 
mask on you look a boy out and out. Oh, Peter, dance 
with me, dance with girls all night. Keep it up, it'll be a 
huge joke. Do, Peter," she urged as I looked doubtful, 
so finally I said I would. 

And I did. It was fun. I heard lots of guessing as 
to who I was, and, my ! the amount I learnt about the 
girls of my acquaintance that night, and some I thought 
were as proper as proper. It was my fault, I dare say, 
but once or twice in the evening I thought it was lucky 
I'd arranged to put on a dress before unmasking, or I 
shouldn't have a girl friend left in Adelaide. But I'm 
bothered if I'd let a strange man kiss me. 

Glen knew who I was, of course ; he was dressed as a 
lawyer in wig and gown. Rex was a stockman like me; 



222 PETER PIPER 

He looked very handsome, I cannot deny, but sort of 
unhappy ; he kept staring very hard at the Pierrettes and 
Butterflies and Dutch girls, but of course he never dreamed 
of looking for me among the men. 

Glen insisted on booking dances with me, but I refused 
point-blank to dance with him and spoil Dolly's joke. 
We (Dolly and I) went and sat behind a trellis where every- 
one had a good view of us, and spooned we did we posi- 
tively ladled ! Dolly begged me to ; she said she wanted 
to give people something to talk about and get their atten- 
tion off Ralph. 

So I compromised with Glen by " smoking them out " 
together like men sometimes do, and every time we thought 
how we were bluffing people we laughed till our cheeks 
ached. After supper we found we had two that came 
together, so we strolled down to our old lily-pond as usual. 
As we went between the willows my hat got knocked off 
and the branches caught in my wig. 

" My precious wig ! " I cried. " Save my appearance ; 
I've got a partner for the next dance, and she will perform 
if I don't turn up." 

So Glen came and tried to disentangle me, and I don't 
know whether it was the moon, or the willows, or me, 
or what did it, but as he bent over me he kissed my neck 
and said, " Peter ! " just like that ; and then before I 
knew what happened next I was burying my nose in his 
shirt-front. It was all very Glennish. 

And then you see we got engaged. That's all. 

Except one thing. 

I wish it hadn't happened. It makes me feel all upset 
inside, and it takes all the sweetness out of being engaged. 
Oh, Rex is selfish ! he needn't have spoilt my first evening, 
though of course he couldn't tell, and I do wish he'd go 
right away to Melbourne, or England, or Timbuctoo. 

I was going up to change my clothes, for it was twenty 
to twelve, and I slipped out on to the terrace to breathe 
a second in the quiet. The big ivy-grown pillars always 
give me such a feeling of rest and strength. I could look 



PETER ENGAGED 223 

away out over the plain to Brighton and Glenelg ; the sea 
beyond was like a big moonstone changing colour under 
her light. Then I noticed a figure hunched up in a dark 
corner. It was a man, and he had his head buried in his 
arms. I wondered what he was miserable about ; I thought 
perhaps his best girl had slipped him up. All of a sudden 
he raised his head, and it was Rex ! 

I tried to run away, but I seemed glued tight, and 
he sprang up and came towards me slowly as if I were a 
dream and he were afraid of waking up. Once he rubbed 
his eyes. 

" Peter ! " he said in an awed sort of voice ; " my 
Peter ! and I was just thinking of you like that." 

I said nothing. 

" Is it a miracle ? " he said, still in that hushed tone. 
" Are we back at Magnet," his glance travelled from my 
blue shirt down to my leggings and back again, " or am 
I still just dreaming of you, Peter ? ' 

I don't know why just his voice hurts something inside 
me and makes me want to make him wince. 

" Neither," I retorted ; " it's a fancy dress ball, and " 
I faced him defiantly " Glen wanted me to wear it." 

" Glen ! " The word shot out like a bullet. 

I nodded and went to move away. He barred me with 
one arm. 

" Don't go, Peter," he pleaded, " for just one minute. 
Stand there, and say nothing if it pleases you, for just one 
little minute ; it's such a small thing to you and so much 
to me. God ! " (his face twisted in such a queer smile), 
" I wonder if women know how cruel they are ? Don't 
you realise, Peter, you've had your revenge twenty times 
over in what you've made me suffer since you came here 
twenty times, Peter, and more ? " 

I stared at him and then turned quickly to the sea. 
It was winking in big circles of light just like a moonstone 
when the rays strike it. He came close to me. I wished 
he wasn't so big and overpowering ; his presence stifles 
me it always didi 



M4 PETER PIPER 

He simply ate up my face with his eyes for a second, 
then he flung back his head and laughed recklessly. 

" I know you hate me," he said, " you'll never let 
me come near you ; you think me lower than the dirt 
beneath your feet, but at least you trample on it more 
lightly than you do on me. Don't you know your power, 
Peter, or can I never suffer enough for you ? If you knew 
ivhat a hell of jealousy is in me when I see you with other 
fellows, and you won't let me so much as brush the hem 
of your skirt. Peter, don't go. I know I'm mad to talk 
to yi u like this, but it's" his hand went unsteadily to 
his throat " it's seeing you dressed like that, and and 
knowing you're as far away from me now as the stars. 
Peter ! it's you make me mad. Before God, I loved you, 
Peter, I did." His hand gripped the rail tightly. "I'm 
a fool to ask what's impossible, but, Peter " (the yearning 
in his voice hurt me), " is it dead, past reviving ? Couldn't 
I ever make you care again ? " 

Why does he still hurt me like that ? Can hatred ache 
the same way as love ? 

" I am engaged to Glen," I said. 

For one minute his eyes looked naked misery at me, 
then he forced his face to a smiling mask. " I hope," 
he said, " you will be very happy." 

Of course I am, but I wish I didn't feel so ridiculously 
miserable too, only I do hate hurting anything, even 
him. 

Di, I wonder if ought I to tell Glen about Rex ? 



CHAPTER XXXII 
Glen as a Lover 

IT'S very delightful, being engaged, I enjoy it so much. 
We have not put it in the papers, since father has not had 
time to hear from us, but Glen told his people, and a few 
of our greatest friends have been let into the secret, so 
I suppose all Adelaide knows by now. 

I got my ring yesterday ; it is a perfect beauty, emeralds 
and diamonds set in such an uncommon pattern. I keep 
holding out my finger and admiring it when I'm by myself. 
Glen kissed my finger before he put it on. I can't get 
over the extraordinariness of him doing things like other 
men. I get a fresh shock every time, it seems undignified 
or something for him to give way in such a manner. I 
suppose in spite of his cynical exterior he's as sentimental 
as the next man ; but I can't help being startled for a bit. 
I'll -get used to it in time. 

And I do like to feel there's someone cares awfully if 
your head hurts, or to scold you if you go out in the night 
air without a coat (me ! that's often and often slept out 
under the stars in my clothes) or get over-tired at tennis. 
He fidgets after me like an old grandfather. 

There's lots of points about an engagement. But, oh, 

heavens ! the first dinner party with the family ! Of 

course they asked us all up the minute they heard. Sugar 

was no name for Mamma and Sissie, I felt like those who 

surfeit with too much. Peter, you rude little animal, 

v they were tremendously kind and you ought to be real 

grateful at the hearty way they welcomed you into the 

family. I was too, but I do not like Freda, and I don't 

think I ever shall. Thank goodness ! there's only one of 

P aar 



226 PETER PIPER 

her, as Dolly pointed out she might have been twins 
or triplets. But if Glen felt as big a fool as I did I'm 
sorry for him ; I think he did, too. 

He gets nicer every day ; he's never prickly now, though 
he sometimes has laughing fits at the come-down of being 
in love. But I do wish Dolly was more cordial about it ; 
you can't pick any flaw in her manner, but I know she 
doesn't like it, and it makes me uncomfortable when she's 
with us. 

Still, everybody else is pleased. All the girls rave over 
my ring, and they want to know how he makes love. 
Lucy says they simply can't imagine Glen calling me 
" Popsy-wop." Neither he does, the great sillies the 
nearest he ever gets to a pet name is " Butterfly " (he calls 
me that when he gets a bad spasm). Dot Parks has offered 
to make me a big supper-cloth of drawn threadwork. Isn't 
it kind of her ? because we're not great friends and she 
does them beautifully. She's looking so white and unhappy 
lately. I think Jack's an an animal. Still, I suppose 
it's rough on him, too, if a man can't like a girl without 
everybody concluding at once he wants to marry her. 
All the same, he oughtn't to " like " her quite so strenuously 
as he used Dot Parks. 

Everything nice comes in a lump. Ralph has got over 
his worry too not his worry about Dolly, for she does lead 
him a dance, but the other one about the money. He came 
and told me as jubilant as a sandboy. I did think it kind 
of him to tell me at once, for I was feeling quite unhappy 
myself about his poor pal, although I don't even know 
his name, but Ralph has a trick of enlisting your sympathy 
for people. 

He wouldn't tell me who gave him the money, but he 
was simply full of his praises ; he reckons he's the finest 
white man he's ever met. " You know, Peter," he con- 
fided to me later, " he hadn't got the money in hand ; 
the beggar actually went out and raised it for me. Wasn't 
it fine of him ? " 

It was awfully quixotic and silly, from a worldly point 



GLEN AS A LOVER 227 

of view, but I suppose it was fine. I wish he'd tell me who 
it was. 

Di, ought I to tell Glen about Rex ? Oh dear ! I 
wish I had a mother to ask. I want to do the right thing, 
but how could I do that ? Must I ? It keeps coming up 
into my mind, and I try to stifle it, but I can't. But I 
couldn't I just couldn't. When Glen's here I forget 
about it, but when I'm alone it beats like a little hammer 
at the back of my brain : " Tell him ! Tell him ! " 

Di, must 1 ? 

I didn't think so much about it till last night. We^vere 
talking by the lily-pond (aren't you sick of hearing about 
that place, Di ? you'd think our residence consisted of it 
and the drawing-room), and I can't remember exactly 
what we were talking about or how the conversation led 
up to it. I think we were talking about a girl friend of 
Dolly's who is marrying an absolute rotter even the 
boys say she's mad and Glen said to me abruptly : 

" Peter, I'd like you to know I'm " (of course it was 
dark things sound more natural in the dark) " decent as 
far as women and things are concerned. I never quite 
knew why I kept out of it all before, unless it's a sort of 
fastidiousness, but I know it was so that I could face a 
girl like you without any regrets. I'm glad I can, Peter." 

I had to put my hand in his and say " Thank you, 
Glen." but, oh, Di ! can't you guess what it was like to 
listen to that ? I must tell him, but not yet ; let me 
wait just a few days longer. I've had so little happiness, 
so very little. 

Will he be hard, or will he understand ? 

I find people are hard on the woman. 

Di, I can't tell him I 



CHAPTER XXXIII 
The Square Thing 

I MUST tell Glen ; there's no help for it, it's the only square 
thing to do. I must. But how can I ? Oh, Di, Di ! 
did ever a girl before have such a thing to do ? How can 
I tell him, how make him believe a thing like that about 
me ! The girl he's engaged to ? I can't. Why need 

I tell him ? He might never know, and No, I won't 

lie. If he marries me it must be me, and not an imaginary 
woman. 

But perhaps he never will marry me if I tell him. Surely 
he would forgive me ; he's a Christian, and Christ said that 
even He did not condemn a woman like me, and told her 
to make a fresh start. It doesn't seem fair, it doesn't 
indeed, that a woman can never retrieve a mistake like 
that. But to tell him I don't know how ! How can I put 
it ? How can I bear to see his teasing smile change to 
amazement, unbelief, horror, perhaps hatred ? No, no, 
no ! I can't, I can't ! It's too much to ask I can't 
bear it. 

Why didn't someone tell me the only thing that matters 
to a girl is her good name ? How can I bear to tear away 
from myself the veil of respect through which Glen views 
me ? How can I say it ? If only I needn't do it myself ; 
if someone else could tell him for me ; but to tear down 
my shrine with my own hands ! 

And the only words that are racing through and through 
my brain like electric flashes are " I cannot " and " I 
must." I find myself saying them mechanically, but it 
is the last I must say oftener I must, I must ! 

But, oh, Peter, it'll take all the pluck you've goti 
Mi 



CHAPTER XXXIV 
It Is Done 

IT'S done. 

Heaven knows how I did it, but I did. All day 
I felt like death, and Dolly said at dinner I looked like it. 
I met Glen in the garden I couldn't bear to greet him 
in front of others that night and we turned and went down 
the garden path between the high hedges of pittesporum. 
Its scent turned me sick ! 

" Peter," Glen said, " what's the matter ? You're as 
white as a ghost ? " 

I couldn't bear any more, I slipped out of his arm. 
" Don't," I said. 

" Don't what ? " 

" Don't touch me." 

" Peter ! " There was a hint of anger in his voice, 
and he endeavoured to draw me to him again. 

" Please ! " I struggled. " There's something I must 
tell you first. You mayn't want to then." 

" Butterfly, what is the matter ? " This time he would 
not be denied, and I hid my face against his shoulder with 
a sudden rush of comfort. 

He smoothed my hair. " Butterfly ! " he said again 
in his sweetest way ; and, oh ! it hurt more than ever 
to think of what I had to say next. 

I pushed him away suddenly, and dragging off my 
ring I thrust it into his hands. " Take it, take it ! " I 
said. " No, Glen, wait, I must tell you something first." 

We had somehow reached the lily-pond by now, and 
I looked at it with a quick tightening in my throat. It 
was here Glen had said he loved me, here I had spent 

229 



230 PETER PIPER 

so many happy hours, and now here I was glad the 
willow shaded my face. 

Then I told him. It all came tumbling out somehow ; 
I don't know what I said, but I made him understand. 
And, oh ! the sight of his face was punishment enough. 
I finished and stood silent before him. 

" It's not true ! " he burst out violently. " Peter, 
it can't be you're great God ! " and then a faint little 
hope that had struggled to live, even before the anguish in 
his face, died, and I felt numb and quiet. 

" Rex ! " he said again, and there was murder in his 
eyes and clenched fists. 

I still stood with my hands clasped, looking at the 
lily-pond. 

" And my white butterfly oh, Peter ! " 

" Don't," I said in a small voice, but I couldn't cry. 

He stood staring at the black water with a face as black 
as it, and there was a silence so keen that it hurt. All of 
a sudden he laughed recklessly and, turning, caught me 
in his arms. 

" When shall we be married, Peter ? " he said. 

I lifted my face slowly and gazed full at him. I saw 
written in his eyes and the curl of his mouth, pride, misery, 
pity, but no love. 

I did not answer, but when he, in turn, too saw my 
face he slowly released me, and with a sudden gesture 
of abandonment he laid his arm along a bough and hid 
his face on it. 

Again the awful silence. 

" Why not, Peter ? " He had his back to me. 

" You know why." 

He turned with quick passion. " I don't care I 
love you." 

I clasped my hands tighter. " You do not respect 
me." 

" No," the monosyllable seemed forced from him. 

I did not answer. He scanned my face for a few tense 
seconds and stretched out his arms. I shut my eyes. 



IT IS DONE 231 

Then with a sound between a sob and a curse he lifted 
his right arm and sent my ring wheeling over to the pond. 
I caught the flash of its diamonds twice in the starlight 
before it fell. 

I heard his footsteps dying away, and I still stood there, 
I could not even faint. 



CHAPTER XXXV 
Not Good Enough 

IF there were only oneself and one other in the worl 
things wouldn't be so complicated, but when we've both 
got relations and friends ! If that night by the lily- 
pond hadn't deadened my power to feel, their pinpricks 
would hurt. 

Dolly and Trixie are furious with Glen, and Glen's 
people are furious with me. If only people hadn't known 
we were engaged there wouldn't have been any talk. 
It's my fault and not his, and I wish Dolly wouldn't say 
such horrid things of him, but I can't tell her about it, 
so I can't stop her. I think she and Trixie are a little 
hurt because I won't take them into my confidence. I 
am sorry for that. 

They both think Glen jilted me, but everybody else 
believes I treated him badly. He told his people I had 
broken off the engagement, and they have spread it round, 
plus their opinion that I am a shameless, heartless flirt. It 
is enough to make me smile, only I don't often smile now. 
Glen has gone to Sydney. It was very nice of him to 
say I had done it. 

Dolly talked to me to-day ; she came and perched on 
my window-sill with a book of ethics, and read me scraps 
in between chocolates. 

" Peter, are you suffering about Glen ? " 

" No, Dolly," I answered, and I think I spoke truth ; 
I do not feel enough to suffer now. I do not feel any wild 
pain or emotion or anything. Perhaps I will later, but 
I don't feel at all. My mind seems like a room that ha? 
had a spring cleaning all the curtains are down, and 



NOT GOOD ENOUGH 233 

the carpets are up, and the furniture bundled outside ; 
there's nothing but four blank walls enclosing nothing. 
I seem in someone else's room, it's not like mine. 

Dolly heaved a sigh of relief and yet gazed at me 
doubtfully. " You you've got so queer, though," she 
said ; " you seem as if you'd been canned and left in 
the freezing chamber overnight by mistake. You used 
to be so jolly, and now no one ever gets a smile out of 
you. One might as well live with a funeral." 

I looked at her distressedly. It never occurred to 
me before, I am selfish to give way. I always try to talk 
when we are together, but I know I do escape whenever 
I can. 

" Don't be a fool ! " Dolly snapped when I stammered 
out something of my thought. " You're as sweet as a 
new bride returning calls, if you want to know, and that's 
precisely what is worrying us. Tisn't like you to be sweet 
and squashy. If I could only do something, Peter I'd 
like to scrag Glen." 

" But, Dolly, I'm not worrying about Glen," I protested. 
" I was fond of him, or I wouldn't have become engaged ; 
but I I Dolly dear, I wish I could explain to you, but 
I can't. I couldn't marry him now, but it's not that 
exactly that makes me feel bad, it's really, old girl, 
I'll be all right soon. And it is selfish of me to mope, 
I'll try to behave better." 

"You idiotic angel," Dolly said with a wet sniff, 
" all the same, wait till I get at Glen ! " 

" Poor boy ! " I smiled almost naturally. I think I 
am sorrier for Glen than myself now. He must be suffer- 
ing ; it hurts me to think how badly I have hurt him. 
I know he would sooner I had died, for then he could 
still have loved my memory, but when you kill respect you 
kill love, I know that. He is only a boy, he will soon get 
over the infatuation that remains, and I'm woman enough 
still to be a bit sorry for that. 

" Anyway," Dolly said sympathetically, " I'm glad 
it's smashed. I never liked it. Glen's a nice boy, I suppose, 



234 PETER PIPER 

but he's not nearly good enough for you, and by and by 
you'll think so too." 

How delightfully ironic ! Not good enough for me, 
and he thinks I'm not good enough for him. That is the 
real hurt that I cannot tell Dolly, and that nothing and 
no one can heal that Peter Piper is not fit for a decent 
man. Am I as low as all that ? That thought is the 
little snake that lives in my bosom and feeds on my heart. 
Not fit oh ; how it hurts ! 

Not fit to be a man's wife, not fit to bear his children 
to feel tiny helpless hands at my breast Peter, Peter ! 
I could have loved them so. 

There, I feel better, but that is the first time I have 
cried since. 

Dick was the hardest. To say he roared and rampaged 
is to put it mildly. He wanted to start straight for Sydney 
with a gun. Oh dear ! I wish they wouldn't all say 
such hard things about Glen. It makes me feel a miserable 
hypocrite, but I can't defend him. 

I wonder if Dick would still love me if he knew ? He 
is going to Kalgoorlie in a few weeks ; I wish he were 
not, I feel so lost, although my own mother couldn't be 
gentler to me than Trixie is. 

Sometimes I wonder I hope father hasn't got con- 
sumption. Ought I to go to him ? After all, he's my 
father. I think I'll write and ask him if he'd like me 
to go back to prison, Peter, eh ? But all the world's a 
prison for me. 

Dr. Danish was saying something about a fuss in Rex's 
office. I meant to ask him more about it, but I forgot. 
I hope it's not my fault, but Glen is very bitter when he 
is roused. Rex has only been here once since the break. 
I barely spoke to him, not on purpose, it just happened ; 
he watched me a lot, and his face looked sorry, but 
not offensively so. 

I wonder if he guesses ? 



CHAPTER XXXVI 
Glen's Revenge 

IT came like a bolt from the blue. They have turned 
Rex out of the partnership ; the courts have dissolved 
the firm of Morris, Ware and Harris, or something like 
that. I don't understand it, but I heard Dr. Danish 
telling them at home this morning. He is very 
indignant about it, and says Rex has been badly 
treated. 

He came up to-night. I did not know ; I was in the 
little summer-house down at the end of the garden when 
T heard voices. I stayed where I was, since I thought 
they would soon pass on, and I didn't want to meet Rex 
I had recognised his voice. Then I heard Dolly's. They 
stopped right in front of the entrance, but they could not 
see me, I had a dark frock on. 

" It can't be as bad as all that, Rex, surely ? " I heard 
Dolly say. 

" Yes, it is," he replied gloomily. 

" Oh, I am sorry," she said ; " I'm awfully sorry, old 
man." 

Dolly's empty little face seemed quite concerned. 

" Thanks," he said, giving the hand she put in his 
a little squeeze ; " you always were a sport, Dolly." 

" Then are you ruined ? " she said. 

I suppose I should have gone away but I couldn't 
let them know at that stage. I put my hand over my 
ears, but even then I couldn't help hearing. 

At Dolly's horrified question he roused himself with 
a half -laugh. " Not quite as bad as that. As far as money 
goes I'm about where I started, though even from a practical 

235 



256 PETER PIPER 

point of view it's rather a bad outlook. You see, we've 
been partners for five years now, and we're just beginning 
to make our name. I can't help using the ' we ' still," he said, 
with a bitter smile ; " we've worked up a connection and 
are looked upon as a promising firm ; and just as our 
feet are firmly fixed on the ladder of success they kick 
me off like a worn-out shoe. I've worked as hard as either 
of them, and I've sacrificed everything to my career, 
more than most people know, but that's the particular 
sweetness of the pill. I might as well have saved myself 
the trouble. It means I've got to commence the struggle 
all over again on my own hook start now on my own 
where I started five years ago, with all that time 
wasted." 

" Oh, not wasted," Dolly objected. " Think of the 
practice you've had." 

" And the reputation I've acquired," he broke in 
savagely. " Can't you see the beauty of the situation ? 
I'm in the wrong from the world's standpoint. I've con- 
tracted reckless private debts ; well, a firm does not want 
that sort of member in it. I'm a menace to its financial 
credit, I'll be getting into debt in the firm's name next 
oh ! they're within their legal rights to kick me out, the 
cunning devils." 

" But what has happened exactly ? " said Dolly. 

" Oh, you wouldn't understand it," he answered. 

" Well, you are polite." Dolly was downright indig- 
nant. " Me, a budding philosopher and a golf champion, 
and you dare to relegate my brains to the dim ages 
when 

" I didn't mean to vex you, Doll," he apologised, 
" but it's rather a technical point, you see. Roughly, the 
case is something like this. I had to have a few hundred 
pounds in a hurry for something or other 

" Betting again, Rex ! " Dolly wagged an accusing 
head at him, and I could have shaken her, for in a flash 
it dawned on me who Ralph's " splendid man " had been. 
But Rex let her accusation stand. 



GLEN'S REVENGE 237 

" I borrowed it on the strength of the profits we ex- 
pected from our last settlement. Glen and Harris delayed 
the accounts; I couldn't get the cash. Mind, I had no 
inkling at the time that it was more than accident ; I 
offered him bigger interest, tried to borrow it from my 
partners." He laughed. " Of course they were working 
hand and glove together. The upshot was, before I 
realised it, he had got a charging order from the court 
on my share of the business, and well, you see, they can 
kick me out for that." 

" I call it a shame ! " Dolly declared viciously, " and 
if I ever meet them again I'll cut them dead." 

" What hurts most of all," he said slowly, " is that 
hang it all, I've always played square myself, and when 
fellows you've known and trusted for years turn on you 
it kills your faith in humanity a bit. I I was pretty fond 
of Glen, and I thought he liked me too. But he's weak, 
he's let Harris talk him over. I know he'd never have 
thought of it himself." 

And I caught my breath back sharply, for all of a sudden 
it dawned on me that this was Glen's revenge. And I felt 
touched and resentful at the same time, for I knew, although 
he didn't, that it was not me he was vindicating, but he was 
punishing Rex for having spoilt for him a thing he wanted. 

" It hurts one's pride," he said with an attempt at a 
laugh that wasn't a huge success. " Why, I'm a laughing- 
stock," he went on savagely, " a poor, deluded, half-witted 
fool, who oughtn't to be trusted out alone ; a pretty sort 
of lawyer who can't look after his own interests ; it's a 
good advertisement for clients. I I wouldn't have 
minded Harris if Glen had stuck to me," he added. 

" Dolly ! " came a cry from the house. 

" Yes." 

" Ralph's here." 

" Let him wait," Dolly returned clearly Then she 
turned to Rex. " I'm awfully sorry, old boy," she said, 
" truly, sorrier than I can say ; but cheer up, perhaps if 
they are such untrustworthy pigs it's better to find it 



238 PETER PIPER 

out now than later on, and you know if ever I can help 
you any way you won't have to ask twice. Please believe 
everybody hasn't turned against you." 

I never would have believed Dolly could have been so 
sincere ; there was quite an air of dignity about her white 
figure silhouetted against the dusking trees. 

" Thank you, Dolly ! " Rex said, as he took her out- 
stretched hand. 

She snatched it away with one of her inane giggles. 
" If Ralph sees me hanging tenderly on to your hand like 
this in the twilight there will be the dickens to pay. I 
must fly now would you sooner stay here ? " 

He nodded. 

" Well, come up, and I'll sing to you when you feel 
better." 

For a long while he sat staring straight in front of 
him, pulling absently at Foxy Bill's ears, and I knew by 
his expression that if he had been a woman he would "have 
been crying. At first I thought I was glad he was learning 
what it was to suffer too, but somehow I was only sorry 
for him not even angry, only tremendously sorry. 

" Well, Bill, old man," he said at last, " we've been 
taken down a peg or two and taught our place in the 
world, haven't we ? If it hadn't been for Glen ! " he 
muttered ; and then he looked up and saw me standing 
between the lilac-bushes. He got up, and for a minute 
we stared at each other in silence. 

" You ! " he said. 

Isn't it funny how in moments of tremendous excite- 
ments we say the most obvious things ? 

" Have you come to gloat over me ? " he demanded 
savagely ; " then gaze away. I'm ruined, betrayed, dis- 
graced, does it comfort you at all ? " 

And then I knew that I had never hated him. He 
stood there facing me like an enemy, but I saw his lip 
give a tiny quiver and I didn't feel awkward any more. 

" Please," I said, " I'm very, very sorry." 

" Sorry ! " His voice cracked on a note of surprise. 



GLEN'S REVENGE 239 

" Very sorry," I said gravely. " Please believe me." 

He stared at me for a minute as if he couldn't, and then 
he went slowly red, a deep, distressed, painful red, it hurt 
me to look at him. 

" Don't take it like that," I said, " don't ! "for all 
of a sudden he flung himself down on the seat and cried. 
I'd never seen a man cry before. I felt with every sob 
as if someone was stabbing me ; it was horrible to look at. 
Di, if you could only have seen the tears forcing themselves 
through his fingers. I wanted to take his big, unhappy 
head on my heart and comfort him like a mother does her 
baby we are all mothers by instinct when trouble comes 
but I couldn't ; of course, you see I couldn't. 

So I waited till the tears stopped, and I saw his face 
was raised again looking at the beds of delphinium; 

" How you ought to hate me ! " he said; 

" I do not hate you," I said slowly. 

He turned an incredulous face to me. " You 
what ? " 

I hesitated a moment ; his blue eyes were fixed on 
mine as if he were trying to read my soul, and the pain in 
my chest made me feel sick. 

Then he turned away. " You should," he said. 

The shadows were getting blacker now, perhaps that 
was what gave me sudden courage. I went a step closer. 

" Rex," I said (it was the first time I had spoken 
his name since it sounded queer), " let us bury the past. 
I loved you and was ignorant, and you were passionate 
and weak, shipwreck was bound to come. I know you 
would give much to undo it all, and," I laughed a little 
drearily, " so would I. But it's no use, so forget all 
about it. It's not your fault that it is the woman who 
has to pay." 

" Peter," he said, " was Glen part of the price ? " 

I hesitated a moment, then I nodded. 

" My God ! " he groaned and hid his face. 

" Don't fret now," I said. " Indeed I am not unhappy. 
Glen" (I stopped to choose my words) " showed me 



240 PETER PIPER 

that sort of thing is over for me, but there there are 
other things in life besides love." 

" My God ! " he groaned again, " and you were made 
for love." 

There was a long silence, it was quite dark now. I 
held out my hand. " Good-bye, Rex," I said. 

He shook his head. " I am not fit to touch you." 
Then all of a sudden he strode up to me, big and white 
and dominant. 

" Peter," he said, " I never knew what purity and 
goodness in a woman meant before, for there is a purity 
of soul that is above all others. From the bottom of my 
heart I respect and reverence you. If I could only pay 
for my cursed folly instead of you, with the blood of my 
heart I would atone. Peter ! " he cried with anguish 
in his voice, " if I could pay I would. You believe me, 
don't you ? " 

" I believe you," I said. 

And we both shivered as the harsh wail of a mopoke 
cut through the gloom. 



CHAPTER XXXVII 
Bad News 

" ONE woe doth tread upon another's heels, so fast they 
come." That keeps ringing in my head. Perhaps it 
looks bad to be able to quote Shakespeare after hearing 
of your father's death, but I can't help it, it's the truth. 
Besides, it seems so unreal ; he has been just a memory 
for so long, a name miles and hundreds of miles away, 
that to say he is dead doesn't seem to remove him any 
farther from me. And, too, it's no use pretending I am 
hurt, because I never liked him he wouldn't let me ; he 
never spoke to me hardly, except to swear at me, and if 
he hadn't brought me up like that, so far away from other 
women, Glen might still have wanted to marry me. 

Not that that matters now, nothing matters now. 
Fran was right. Oh ! I'm not peevish or miserable or 
anything, Di ; I feel sort of numb, as if I couldn't realise 
things. Perhaps you do get to a point of suffering when 
you don't recognise it as pain. 

I had a letter from his lawyers to-day ; it was rather 
a shock in a way, for, except for Dick's reference to his 
cough, I had no notion he was ill, he wouldn't let me be 
told.- 

Poor father ! it must have been lonesome, dying up 
there with no one to care but Fran. They say he caught 
a chill and never recovered ; he developed consumption, 
and just went out like a candle. 

He has left a lot of money, it seems ; but why on earth, 

if he was well off, did he live in such an unearthly hole ? 

It is all too puzzling. He has left -everything he owned 

to me, and a big envelope addressed " To my daughter 

Q 241 



242 PETER PIPER 

Peter." Perhaps this will explain everything, though 
it would be just like father to have left me ignorant all 
my life. 

I don't like to open it. Now I may be close to an ex- 
planation, I'm not sure that I want to know. Perhaps I 
may wish I didn't. Still I suppose, if it's his dying message 
to me, I'll have to read it, but I've got a presentiment I'll 
be sorry. Well, it serves me right ; all along I've always 
wanted to know, and, anyway, nothing can hurt me any 
farther. 

Trixie is terribly upset about it. She cried like anything 
when I told her father was dead, but she made me promise 
not to tell Dr. Danish, and when I showed her the envelope 
she was more distressed than ever. And that's worrying 
me too. What has Trixie to do with father and me ? 

" Peter," she said, " must you read it ? " 

" Of course I must," I answered. 

" I suppose so," she agreed mournfully. She dabbed 
at her eyes, and suddenly she came and put her arms 
round me and her wet cheeks against mine. 

" Peter, darling," she pleaded, " you won't let anything 
he says make any difference to you, will you ? You'll 
love me if he says if he you won't turn against me, 
will you, Peter ? " 

When I think of Trixie I want less than ever to open 
this envelope. There it lies, an innocent-looking long 
envelope, and who knows what sort of dynamite it carries 
inside it ? If I were to pop it on the fire without opening 
it But that wouldn't be fair to father. 

Now it's done ; just a sheaf of crumply sheets pinned 
together. A lot of it's in pencil, too ; it won't be nice to 
read. I'll just pull the curtains first ; it looks a cold, 
black night outside. Black has a tremendous amount of 
atmosphere about it ; some blacks are quite warm. Even 
the electric light has a chilly effect. I shall sit in my big 
arm-chair, .and you, Foxy Bill, may sit beside if you are 
quiet; 

Now, father I 



CHAPTER XXXVIII 
Delaney's Last Letter 

To MY DAUGHTER PETER, 

I'm dying. The doctor says so, but I know it anyway ; 
there's something in a man warns him when it's the finish. 
I'm glad it's over ; life's not meant much to me perhaps 
it's my own fault. 

As I lie here I've been thinking I ought to tell you 
about yourself. I've played with the thought backwards 
and forwards in my mind. The truth may be painful 
to you, but I can't see clearly ; I've no right to judge for 
you nor to keep you in ignorance. God, if there is one, 
forgive me my mistakes, and help you to the best you can 
make of your life. 

I see now I haven't treated you fairly. It was no life 
for a girl. I should have sent you away years before ; 
that lawyer fellow showed me that, but I was afraid of 
what they'd make of you. No, here your very ignorance 
kept you innocent, and, though you mayn't believe it, 
in a twisted sort of way I loved you, though I hated 
you too when you reminded me of her. But you know 
that. 

I was wrong, I can see it now. Ignorance is no safe- 
guard, and after the lawyer chap went I was afraid but 
that's over now, and you say you're engaged to be married 
to a decent man, so I can die in comparative peace, though 
it's no thanks to me. Make him a good wife, Peter, and 
keep his faith in women strong. Thank God you won 
through all rights 

When a man loses his belief in women, or anyway in 
the one woman, it knocks the bottom out of his life. You 

243 



144 PETER PIPER 

must have often wondered why I drag out existence up 
here. That's what happened to me, and I'd no heart 
left to face the world with. All I wanted was to see 
nobody. It stings still to open the old wound, so I'll 
give you the facts as briefly as I can. 

From a boy I loved a girl, Trixie Manners ; she was 
the I can't tell you what she was like, she was just Trixie 
to me and always will be. I loved her then, I love her 
still, though I've tried to pretend to myself all these 
years I hated her. But real love can never hate, I've 
found that out. It's only wounded vanity and smarting 
self-esteem that turn to rancour. Tell Trixie my last 
thought is of her ; I think you know now who she is. 
She is my sweetheart, my dear and your mother. 

She cared for me, too, in a girl's light way, but I was 
shy and reserved, and there was nothing definite between 
us. While I was away they married her to a rich brute 
called Denton. She was only eighteen, and miserable ; 
I wasn't much older, and a romantic, chivalrous dreamer, 
and I had always worshipped her. 

He was a beast to her, Peter, a beast, remember that. 
Once he knocked her down. It was after that we ran 
away. I had great notions of honour and purity, and 
from the day I met her as Mrs. Denton I had never spoken 
a word of love to her. But she knew, and I was a chivalrous 
boy. But when I found her crying, with a bruise on her 
temple, I became a man and I took her away. 

We came up here. I bought this house from a man 
who had built it for his bride, but she died three months 
after. If was a pretty place then, and Trixie made it 
a paradise. We were foolishly happy, and we were very 
young. We were terribly ashamed of ourselves, but so 
happy. And then you were born. Whenever I've looked 
at you since, Peter, I could see her sitting outside holding 
you in her arms in the evening and singing softly. She 
had a beautiful voice. I was glad you could not sing. 

There was one tiny cloud that began to spread over 
our sky Denton did not divorce her. We left him a 



DELANEY'S LAST LETTER 245 

note asking him to do so, but we did not tell him where 
we had hidden ourselves. 

And slowly a second cloud came. She did not like 
the loneliness, and the lack of servants and comforts. 
She was a gay little girl, and liked people to talk to and 
fun and life, and she had only taciturn, silent me. Of 
course I did not understand. I was perfectly happy, I 
wanted nothing but her, and, like most men, it never 
occurred to me that what satisfied me might not com- 
pletely fill her life. She cared for me, but she was a child 
and wanted her toys. I should have taken her away. 
I can see it now, but I was so sensitive, I could not bear 
the thought of strange eyes scanning the flower who was 
not my wife. I took it for granted she shrank from the 
whirl of life as sensitively as I. I realise now that she 
could have borne anything but the loneliness. 

It crushed her, the flat monotony of the bush day 
after day. The wistful look in her eyes often wrung my 
heart, but still I did not understand. I was such a boy, 
Peter ; I am only forty-three now. 

Perhaps, too, the sin of our happiness weighed on her. 
Who can read a woman's soul ? Perhaps she thought I 
had been too impetuous. I had rushed her into it, carrying 
her off her feet in the sudden bursting of my pent-up 
passion. Sometimes she must have wanted her mother 
and sisters. I tried to be it all to her in my clumsy way, 
but I was only learning. And besides yes, I will tear 
the wound open a bit further, for you must not judge 
her, Peter she did not love me as I did her. I could 
have taught her to in time, but her soul was slow to wake. 
She had always cared for me ; I was her old Jimmy, 
her girlish sweetheart, but her woman's soul had never 
been quite roused. 

And then I came home one day and found you alone. 
Denton had tracked us down at last. He took her back 
with him. He half-bullied, half-coaxed her into going, 
I suppose ; she was always afraid of him, and I was not 
there to help her. He wanted his toy back to make his 



246 PETER PIPER 

home look pretty ; besides, he dreaded scandal we knew 
that. He had given out all this time she was on a trip. 
Nobody believed him, but, as they could not say so to his 
face, it did not matter. 

She left no word, no message. But what was there 
to say ? I was stunned. There was a note pinned on 
you, but it was from him. It will burn in my memory 
in heaven ! God ! if even there I can get my fingers 
round his throat. It was short : " I have taken your 
mistress keep her brat." 

The boy I still was died that night, and the man I 
am was born. I stayed there because I had no heart 
to go elsewhere. I grew morose, I cursed her falseness. 
I hated you because she had loved you so ; there was 
a wet tear on your cheek when I found you, and you were 
not crying. 

I've been a bad father to you, but a man can't love 
well more than once. He gives his heart to either his 
wife or his children, and Trixie has always had mine. 
I've made a pretty bad mess of things, but it's no use being 
sorry at this time in the day. I don't ask you to think 
kindly of me, for you couldn't. I've given you nothing to 
be grateful for, not even bare justice, but, thank God ! 
I can at least die feeling I've not spoilt your life as well 
as my own. Make your man a good wife. 

Tell Trixie my last thought will be of her. The doctor 
says it's only a matter of days now. It's no use my writing 
to her when the soul is overflowing words seem futile 
but tell her that next time I'll know how to make her 
love me. I'll spend the time learning till she comes. 

Good-bye, Peter ; I never can realise you're my 
daughter, somehow ; and tell Trixie I have never stopped 
caring. 

JIM DELANEY. 



CHAPTER XXXIX 
"At Last, My Mother!" 

I DROPPED the journal and caught the back of a chair 
to steady myself, for the room began to swim round me. 
Poor father ! how blind I had been. And Trixie ! And 
then I saw her standing beside me, in her pink satiny 
kimono, with frightened eyes, and I shook with uncon- 
trollable laughter. 

" Mother ! " I cried, " at last, my mother ! " And 
all the time I laughed it must have been horrible to hear 
me ; I suppose it was a kind of hysteria. 

She flushed and went white. " Jim has told you ? " 
she faltered, looking at the crumpled pages. " Oh, Peter, 
Peter ! Stop laughing." 

And all the time was beating like a derisive song in 
my brain, " Thank God, you won through all right." 

" No wonder," I said, thinking aloud, " with such 



" Peter, don't say it," she moaned, covering her little 
baby face with her hands. " I'm not as wicked as you 
think, darling ; don't turn from me. If you knew how 
my heart has hungered for you, how often in the night 
my arms have been stretched out to you, but Jim wouldn't 
let you come. And when he did I gave you all I could. 
I have loved you, Peter." Her voice sounded wistful. 
" I suppose you couldn't understand, you are so strong 
and good. I was always weak, and I wanted to be petted 
and taken care of. And I was only eighteen when I was 
married, Peter eighteen is very young and I thought 
I loved Jim. But, oh ! the lonesomeness of it in the bush, 
day after day, and week after week, and month after 



248 PETER PIPER 

month ; and Jim was away so much, and it was rough 
and uncomfortable, and I had no maid they wouldn't 
stay up so far and one day he came and told me to go 
back and not be a fool, and and Jim was away, and 
I went." 

The chairs and tables seemed all to be jumping up 
to the ceiling, and Trixie disappeared in the grey-red 
mist that was creeping over everything. I could only 
hear her voice miles away saying, " Can't you forgive me, 
Peter ? Haven't you ever done one tiny wrong thing 
that would make you understand ? " 

Such a forlorn little voice it sounded, and with a sudden 
rush of self-scorn and love I groped blindly for it. 

" Mother Trixie ! " I murmured, and slid down to 
the floor like a baby going to sleep. 

I knew no more. That night I had brain fever. 



BOOK THREE THE WOMAN, PETER 

CHAPTER I 
In Hospital 

IT'S ages since I wrote that last. I'm in the hospital 
still, and likely to be for some time, I suppose. They 
have cut off all my hair again isn't it a nuisance, after 
all the trouble I had to grow it ? It's in those tight, 
frazzly curls all over my head, like when I was a boy. 
I'm getting stronger every day ; sometimes when I am 
lying still I can almost hear the life trickling back into 
me. It is very beautiful to be alive just to be still and 
watch the sunbeams in the early day net themselves into 
gold rings on my fingers. My hands are so white and weak, 
not a bit the brown things I used to saddle Nugget with. 
I wonder what became of Nugget when father died, and 
if he and Fran are still there. . 

It's such a dear little hospital ; at least, it's really a 
big one, but I measure it by my little room which has been 
my world for weeks. The room is blue like my one at 
home ; my window looks out on the Parklands sloping 
away to the river, and the post-office clock, and the roofs 
of the city below just showing over the tree-tops ; on a 
dullish day it looks like a paper parcel with the Torrens 
tying it up in blue tape. I told nurse that, and she laughed* 
I have such a dear nurse ; she is quite young and plump 
and mischievous, and she tells me funny stories. But 
there is a woman dying in the room next mine. 

I am not going to die now. I am glad. The world 
looks such a laughy, sunshiny place to live in, and I am 

249 



250 PETER PIPER 

happy. Quite happy. It gives me thrills to lie and listen 
to the sparrows fighting each other outside, and this 
morning nurse let me have a kitten on my bed. It was 
so warm and cuddlesome, and it chewed my curls and 
fought the sunbeams, and at last curled itself up to sleep 
in the hollow of my arm. To-morrow they will let me 
go out on the balcony. It's a darling, big, jolly old world: 
I'm going to smile at it always now, and make it smile 
back at me. Dolly brought me a bunch of violets this 
morning, huge king violets with mystery purple petals ; 
their beauty almost made me cry with joy. After all, 
it's these tiny things that matter. I can always have 
these, and so I shall always be happy. I read somewhere 
that true happiness is in learning to do without things ; 
I think I have learnt that now. 

You see, Peter, where you failed was, you drank your 
happiness down in one brimming cupful and then cried 
because no one could fill it for you a second time. You 
cannot have your cake and eat it, Peter dear, that was 
what you would not understand. That common-sense 
little axiom has been hitting you in the face for more 
than a year, and you have fought and rebelled and struggled, 
and tried to find love again, and, foolish Peter, you would 
not see that love crowns a woman's life but once. 

Thank you very much for this illness, God. I wonder 
did You whisper all this to me when my spirit was away 
from my body. I wonder has my soul, all the time the 
doctors were fighting for my fever-tossed body, been sitting 
by itself on a lonely mountain-top trying to attain wisdom; 
Somehow I think it has 

Can't you see it, Di a lonely little soul, a wee bit 
frightened at being out on its own for the first time, flying 
timidly along, asking other spirits, passing it in the dark, 
the way to the Mountain of Meditation ? And when it 
reached there it sat down on the tipmost tip of the 
peak, and sunset and sunrise still found it there, and the 
moon, slipping her silver scarf over the tree-tops, wound 
a fold around it lest it should be cold. 



IN HOSPITAL 251 

And there it sat day after day, night after night, gazing 
into the space and silence, striving to find wisdom for 
Peter Piper. I feel like one who, all these months, has 
been struggling for a foothold on quicksands ; I have been 
wading through lakes of humiliation, and now I have 
come out on a great white strand, a beach of moonshine 
and mystery, the twilight land of Peace. There are no 
heights or depths, no sunshine or shadow, but the even 
grey of content. I have found peace. 

I have done with love and striving to bury the past. 
I think I understand now what the Christ meant when 
He said, " He that seeketh to save his life shall lose it." 
While I tried to snatch joy from the jealous laps of the 
gods they gave me only heart-burning and rebuffs ; now 
I have renounced my quest of happiness and they give me 
peace. I am happy now almost. Now, Peter, how 
dare you add " almost " you know you are. You're 
going to be a beautiful old maid, Peter, and dress in grey 
with white Quaker collars, and listen to everyone's love 
stories and help them, and take care of Trixie, and spoil 
all your friends' babies ; and perhaps when you are quite, 
quite old you may adopt a baby for your very own, and 
bring him up to be a brave, strong man, brave enough 
to be good and to make some girl a loving, faithful husband ; 
and when you nurse their baby on your knees, a baby 
with grey eyes and curly hair, and who will be called 
Peter because they both love you, then you will die full 
of years and honour No, nurse I'm really not crying, 
truly I'm not. 

It's no good, she won't let me write another word. 
Good-bye till to-morrow, Di. 



CHAPTER II 
Jasmine 

I'M ever and ever so much stronger than I was yesterday. 
I feel like a bicycle tyre having vitality fairly pumped into 
me with every breath I draw. And my appetite makes 
the doctor smile indulgently. I'm beginning to get back 
some colour, too, and whole heaps of vanity ; it takes a 
lot to knock that out of a woman, doesn't it ? Nurse 
laughed to-day when I said I was tired of my bed- jacket. 
Trixie brought me two new ones to-day one is blue and 
one white the white one is adorable, soft Japanese silk, 
all tucks and embroidery, and such lace on it ! I think 
a whole dictionary of adjectives would crumple up in despair 
if it had to describe lace, so I'll just call it lace, and any 
woman would know all there is left unsaid. 

Trixie has been worrying about me dreadfully, there 
are two tiny lines on her forehead ; I kissed them away 
to-day, poor little woman. Oh, dear ! she does make me 
feel such a grandmother, I'm years and years older than 
she. She was shy of me the first morning she came to 
see me ; she stood in the doorway holding an armful of 
flowers up to her face to hide it, and looking as if she 
were half-minded to run away. 

" Mother Trixie ! " I said, and stretched out my 
arms to her. In a second she was in them, and the counter- 
pane and I and the floor were deluged with flowers, and 
in between the freesias and carnations we hugged each 
other, and nothing else seemed to matter. 

" You're not angry with me, Peter darling ? " 

" Little mother," I said softly ; " I've got a real mother 
252 



JASMINE 253 

at last. At least, I've had you all the time, haven't I ? 
but it's nice to know." 

Her violet eyes were dewy. " I love you, Peter," 
she cooed over me, " but I'm a wee bit afraid of you at 
times. You're not like Dolly and me, you're so strong 
and good, and you have such clear eyes " 

" Don't ! " I said sharply, and then went so white 
that she got frightened and called in nurse, who scolded 
us both and sent her away. 

By a sort of tacit consent we've dropped the subject, 
only once we referred to it again 

" Trixie," I asked, " does Dr. Danish know ? " 

A sudden terror leaped in her eyes. " Peter, you'll 
never tell him ? Promise me, Peter." 

" Then he knows nothing about father ? " I persisted. 

" What would he think of me ? " Trixie wailed. " I 
only met him after I came back, just a little before my 
husband died. Peter, you never would ? " 

" No, no," I said hastily, " I only wanted to know." 
I leant back on my pillow with closed eyes. More deceit ! 
Is the whole world made up of it ? 

" There, there, darling," Trixie stroked my forehead. 
" you're not to worry so and get excited ; you must keep 
calm and get better. Now, darling, don't try to talk, 
just be calm and my own brave Peter." 

I laughed noiselessly. How Trixie-like it was ! But 
it was very sweet to lie there and have her fussing round 
me like a helpless little bird, and feel it was not charity 
to a stranger but love service, mine by right of blood 
and kin. It is very beautiful to be loved. 

She comes every day to see me now, and Dolly often 
does too, and other people. It's awfully kind of them, 
for sometimes it does get dull, lying down hour after hour 
staring at the ceiling. Ralph, too, came once ; he talked 
most of the time about Rex, and how splendid he had been 
in that matter of the money, and how the fellow they had 
saved was turning over a new leaf completely. Somehow 
I liked to listen to him. I think I have learnt not to judge 



254 PETER PIPER 

people lately ; there is good and bad in all of us. And 
I, who so nearly gave way to the temptation to deceive 
Glen, who am I, to blame others for yielding ? 

I am glad to think Rex is getting on so well ; he has 
gone in with another firm, and has just won a brilliant 
case all Adelaide is talking about it. I hope he will be 
very successful. 

Nurse has some joke up her sleeve. She has been 
quite penny-dreadfulish-sword-and-mask mysterious lately ; 
she goes about with her lips pursed up and a sparkle in 
her eye. I've tried lots of times to get out of her what 
is the matter, but she only looks secreter than ever, and 
drops cryptic phrases about girls being little brutes, and 
the fools men make of themselves over a pair of grey 
eyes. I can't make head nor tail of it. Glen couldn't 
have come to see me ? But that's absurd ; Dolly told me 
he is in Sydney at present. Poor Glen, how I must have 
hurt him ! It seems cruel that my punishment should 
spread to others, but he will soon forget me. 

Oh, jasmine, do stop scenting the air so, your sweetness 
hurts. My room is full of flowers, roses and violets, and 
every day this lovely bowl of j asmine. Nurse has commented 
on it several times, and always Now, I wonder if 
that has anything to do with men making fools of them- 
selves ? Come to think of it, I've never seen Trixie bring 
it, and if it wasn't her Of course he wouldn't, Peter, 
don't be a fool ; I shall ask nurse. 

I am tired of lying in bed ; to-morrow, they say, I 
may get up and lie on a couch in a gown. I'm sure I shall 
get better much quicker then. Yesterday the woman 
who is dying was brought on to the veranda next me. 
I gave her half my jasmine ; she loves it too. We talked 
a lot and grew quite friendly. She says she wants to 
die sometimes, because she suffers so. I don't. It sounds 
nice when you feel miserable, but when you get to grips 
with death, and feel his cold breath on your cheek, the 
sunlight never seemed so sweet before. 

She has a pale, thin face and the sweetest smile in 



JASMINE 255 

the world, and she is so merry when the pains are not 
too bad. We talked about flowers and books ; we argued 
hard about Browning and Swinburne. When I told her 
I liked Swinburne she laughed and told me it was because 
I was young and happy. " Melancholy," she said, " is a 
pastime with you ; when you meet real suffering you 
want a cheery philosophy to fight it with." 

" But I have been very unhappy sometimes," I argued; 

" Lovers' quarrels," she smiled. 

" I have no lover," I said. 

" No ? Not the fair-haired giant who is so pale for 
your sake ? " 

I sat up. " I know of none," I said coldly. 

She looked at me in a puzzled way. " I am afraid," 
she said, " I have made a blunder ; I am very sorry, but 
I have seen you kiss the jasmine, and I thought please 
forgive me." 

" Of course," I said, " but I don't understand " 

Here the nurses interrupted us. I must get at the bottom 
of this. I'll cross-examine nurse. A " fair-haired giant " 
is this her mystery ? 



CHAPTER III 
Dolly Speaks Her Mind 

JASMINE (that is what I call the woman who is dying) 
and I are becoming great friends. How often we come to 
love people just because circumstances throw us together ; 
meeting casually we would probably not be attracted 
to each other at all. When you see a lot of people their 
good and bad points fairly hit you in the eye. I think 
that's why cousins and aunts often detest each other 
they know each other just well enough to notice all the 
bad points, but not well enough, as brothers and sisters 
do, to be compelled to realise the good ones. 

She seems very clever ; she can talk about anything, 
like Lucy Rees, but she is quite gentle with it, she never 
makes me feel the fool 1 am. Nurse says she cannot live 
much longer. Isn't it horrible to think of ? Here she 
was to-day, lying beside me, talking poetry, and to- 
morrow or the next day she may be nowhere. 

" Peter," she said this afternoon, in the middle of 
reciting some Browning, " shall I tell you where to find 
the whole philosophy of life, the creed of the average 
soul ? It's just a verse, and not Johnson's English at 
that, an odd one that somehow always stuck in my memory. 
I don't know where I found it nor who wrote it, but when 
I'm right down in the very deeps it always comforts me. 
This is it. Can't you see the picture in the blunt words, 
an old sundowner tramping along doggedly while the 
shadows creep faster and faster behind him ? " 

Here a paroxysm of pain caught her, and she had to 
lie back white and racked on her pillow till it passed. 
Then suddenly, without opening her eyes, she began in 

256 



DOLLY SPEAKS HER MIND 257 

a dreamy voice, as if she were only repeating it over to 
herself : 

" I'm sick o' pushin' on to the Lord knows where an' back, 
For it ends up jest the same, leaves me on the blessed track ; 
Seems to me I never move, every day's like them that's gone. 
Still I'm trampin' all the time, pushin' on." 

" That's it, Peter, we're all so sick, so very sick some- 
times of pushin' on, and yet we stick to it God knows 
why, unless it's some elementary grit He implanted in us. 
Yes, I like that verse, it's a better philosophy than Omar's." 

" I like it too," I said, " but I don't know what 
Omar is." 

She laughed nicely. " Just as well. Omar is a tonic for 
the happy materialist, but bad for you and me. Ah ! here 
comes our mutual tyrant. Am I talking too much, nurse ? " 

" Yes, you are," nurse retorted. " I'm going to take 
you inside; you must be quiet." 

" I'll be quiet enough soon," she said, almost crossly 
for her. " Goodness, Peter, don't be silly ! Take me 
away, nurse, the child will be crying in a minute." 

" Jasmine, I wish you wouldn't say things like that," 
I begged. 

" Like what ? " 

" About dying." 

" Good gracious ! one would think I was dying from 
choice. Never mind, we won't talk about it if it hurts 
you. Good-bye till to-morrow, little silly, and here's 
someone will liven you up." 

I looked, and there was Dolly skimming down the 
veranda to me. I was very pleased to see her ; Dolly 
is always good company. She seemed unusually happy, 
and talked like a gramophone. 

" Glen's still in Sydney," she told me, " and his people 
are still up the pole ; they look on your illness as something 
like a judgment for not appreciating the family idol suffi- 
ciently. Dad says the house is lonely without you, and 
he's dying to have you back." 

R 



258 PETER PIPER 

" Really, Doll ? " I said, with a sudden warmth round 
my heart. I do like Dr. Danish, but I never dreamt he 
would miss me ; he is always very nice, but never affec- 
tionate. 

" Yes, he's quite fond of you, although even the equator 
couldn't melt Dad to demonstrativeness. And I'm looking 
after your chickens all right. Maria's hatched out all 
that lot you set before you got ill." 

" The whole thirteen again ? " I said incredulously. 

" The whole thirteen." 

" How like Maria," I said with warm admiration. 
" Dolly, I'm dying to see her again. And my ducklings ? " 

" Growing fat and hideous ; and Foxy Bill is simply 
pining for you." 

" The darling ! ' 

" He's not the only person eitherj Peter, why are you 
so cruel to Rex ? " 

The attack was so unexpected that I couldn't think 
of a word to say. 

" Of course, it's none of my business," Dolly went on, 
not daunted by my silence, " and meddlers never get 
thanked, but I'm fond of Rex, always have been, and, 
Peter, he's breaking his heart for you." 

" Dolly, please ! " 

" I've always had a fancy you liked him right at the 
bottom of your heart, but for some reason you won't let 
yourself. I never believed you really cared for Glen, 
and I don't now. Why can't you be nice to him, Peter ? 
He's a man any girl might be proud of. I could name 
half a dozen who'd give their ears to be in your shoes. 
Why, he'd sit down and make a carpet of himself for you, 
and my Lady Disdain wouldn't even wipe her feet on him." 

" Dolly " 

" I'm going to finish. He's been half-crazy with worry 
the whole time you've been ill, and he has to go about 
pretending it's of no interest to him, while his whole 
soul is hanging on your door-knob." 

Dolly paused for breath. I folded my hands resignedly ; 



DOLLY SPEAKS HER MIND 259 

it's no use attempting to stop Dolly when her mind is 
made up. 

" I'm the only person who knows, but he saw I guessed, 
and he doesn't pretend with me. It almost breaks my 
heart to see him sitting there like like Samson after 
they cut his hair, gazing at your photo in the sitting-room. 
I gave him one." 

" Dolly, how dare you ? " 

" Don't worry. He wouldn't take it ; he held it a 
long while in his hand, and I know he wanted to dreadfully, 
but all of a sudden he said, ' Thank you, Dolly, but I 
don't think she'd like me to have it,' and he put it back. 
That's the sort of man you're trampling on. Oh ! I'd 
like to shake you ; if it was any girl but you, Peter, I'd 
call her a beast. Peter," she leant over coaxingly, " can't 
I take him a message, a little one ? " 

" Tell him," I said, my fingers playing with her scarf, 
" not to worry about me any more, not to think about 
me at all." 

" You cat ! " Dolly said with conviction, " I'll do 
nothing of the sort, and I'd like to shake you. Oh dear ! 
are you going to cry ? Peter, have I been a beast myself ? 
I'm always putting my foot in it. Don't, there's a darling, 
I'll never mention him again. But, Peter," she whispered 
as she kissed me good-bye, " he does love you awfully." 

After I had had my tea and nurse was straightening 
my pillow and taking away the tray, I said, " Nurse, who 
brings me that jasmine ? " 

Nurse's eyes just ached to tell me, but her lips pursed 
up valiantly. " I promised not to say." 

" How did he bribe you, nursie ? " 

" He didn't bribe me at all." She grew quite indignant. 

" So it is a man ? " 

" Goodness ! " she said, dismayed, " what will he say 
to me ? " 

" I'm not cross with you." I said wearily, " I only 
wanted to know. A fair man, nurse, and big ? " 

She nodded, and then curiosity conquered. " Such a 



260 PETER PIPER 

handsome fellow," she said enthusiastically, " I envy 
you, Miss Delaney." She squinted at me sideways tc 
see the effect of her words. I have discovered she has an 
inordinate craving for love stories and gallons of sympathy 
for crossed lovers. " And he looked so grave the first 
morning he called to know how you were. ' Give her 
this jasmine,' he said, ' it's her favourite flower. I'll send 
some more every morning.' ' What name shall I say ? ' 
I asked. ' No name,' he said with a sad kind of smile. 
Miss Delaney " (she was busy setting a chair straight), 
" have you quarrelled ? " 

She is such a dear little soul, you couldn't regard her 
curiosity as impertinence. " No," I said after a minute's 
hesitation. " Why ? " 

" I asked him one morning if he wouldn't like to see 
you, and he said ' No ' ; but he didn't look as if he meant 
it. Wouldn't you like to see him, Miss Delaney ? " 

" Goodness, no ! " I rejoined with energy. 

" I don't believe you mean it any more than he did," 
the sceptic declared as she left the room. 

Now she'll never give me any peace. But it was very 
kind of him to think of the jasmine. 



CHAPTER IV 
A Lite in Four Words 

THEY let us watch the moon rise to-night ; it was fairly 
warm, and I'm getting so much better and Jasmine so 
much worse that it didn't matter. 

The place was very dusk and still ; in the garden the 
white aprons of the nurses started out of the gloom as 
they moved to and fro ; the Parklands sloping to the 
Oval were a big olive blur. I could almost hear the 
couples spooning there. 

Below, the grey river wound down to the weir. The 
lights from the bridges and the city streaked it with 
yellow lines ; we could hear distinctly the clang of the 
tram-bells going to Walkerville. 

It was Saturday night. Up in the city the lighted 
streets would be full of people, the Salvation Army, and 
drunks, and North Terrace crowded with little factory 
damsels in marvellous (and some of them pretty) rigs, 
likewise their swains ; the restaurants ablaze with electric 
light, the theatres drawing the crowd, the old pie-stali up 
at Victoria Square. And here we two invalids sitting in 
the dark and quiet. 

" I can hear the garden talking," Jasmine whispered. 
So could I ; a chattery, rustly kind of noise rose every- 
where about us, as if it were slowly waking up and preparing 
for a night out. 

Then the moon appeared like a china plate behind the 
hills, suffusing the air with a primrose glow. 

" Isn't it lovely ? " Jasmine breathed. " And in a 
few nights I may be sitting on this same old moon. Aero- 

361 



262 PETER PIPER 

planes aren't in it with death for rapid transit, are they, 
Peter ? " 

" Do you think there's a heaven ? " I said. 

" I don't know, but I do want another chance. Oh, 
surely there must be. Peter, don't you think God will 
let us have another try ? I blundered so down here, 
I've made a fearful mess of my life ; perhaps I'd have 
learnt wisdom next time." 

" Yes, Jasmine." 

" You've never asked me who I am, Peter ; it would 
be silly, wouldn't it ? for soon I shan't exist at all, perhaps. 
I'm a doctor." 

" A doctor ! " I stared at her. 

" Funny, isn't it," she smiled, " a doctor lying helpless ? 
But though we save others since I've been like this I 
can see things more clearly, and I know now where I 
failed. I knew it when he married her. I'm a Woman 
of the Brain, and we've got to pay every time." 

" What are you talking about ? " I said helplessly. 

" There are two sorts of women nowadays, Peter, 
Women and Brain-women. In the old days men only 
allowed Women, and they were born and married and bore 
children and were happy. But one day a woman dis- 
covered she was somehow cursed with a man's brain and 
soul in her woman's body, and then the struggle began. 
These are what I call Brain-women. Their spirit calls them 
to learn and work and fight, and their body, their weak 
woman's body, calls them to men and love and motherhood, 
and they do not know which to choose, for as things are 
they cannot have both. They do not know when they 
are young what I know now, that the one is a luxury, 
but the other a necessity. A woman cannot live without 
love. Perhaps, by and by, they will learn to keep both, 
and then they will look back on us, the pioneers of their 
gracious excellence, with wondering scorn that we blundered 
and fell by the wayside." 

She smiled again her very sweet smile. " The blood 
of martyrs is the seed of the church; but we're only 



A LIFE IN FOUR WORDS 263 

weak women after all, and I hate martyrdom. It seems 
so pitiful to have missed happiness if I've only one life, 
don't you think, Peter ? " 

I squeezed her hand in silence. 

" I was an orphan with enough money to do as I liked, 
and at school they thought me clever, so I determined 
to be a doctor ; I wanted to do something. I had nearly 
finished when I met him, and we were great friends. I 
was satisfied, and I thought he was. Then a friend of 
mine determined to marry him. She was just a woman ; 
she wound herself round him with her soft appealing 
ways, which fired his manhood and were such a contrast 
to my cool self-reliance and hard intellectual pride." 
Her smile grew bitter with remembrance. " I was an 
excellent foil. I didn't see her plan at first, she was 
clever in a woman's way ; and when I did, I didn't know 
how to fight her my woman's education had been 
neglected, you see." 

There was a silence. 

" He married her. That's my life." 

The music of a band some few houses away came to 
us fitfully ; they were playing a coaxing waltz. 

" To think, in spite of study and honours and pro- 
fessionfor I love my profession, Peter if the reporters 
only know they could tell my whole life in four words : 
' He married someone else.' ' 

Still the maddening waltz filtered through the silence. 

" It's funny in a way, isn't it ? and it's humiliating, 
but it's woman." 

" That's why you're glad to die ? " 

" That's why I can't bear to die. To go and leave 
him with her oh ! Peter, there's nothing matters in this 
whole wide world .but love. You asked me if I believe 
in heaven yes, love is heaven, Peter." Her hand sought 
mine in the dark. " Don't you make a mistake." 

" I have," I said. 

" You are young, it's not too late." 

I don't know what there was about her that made 



264 PETER PIPER 

me tell her what I never thought to confess to any woman. 
Perhaps it was the music that stirred something in me. 

" My mistake," I said, " is the sort the world never 
forgives a girl." For a minute I was afraid to meet her 
eyes, but when I looked up the sympathy in them nearly 
broke down my calm. 

" How you must have suffered ! " she said. That was 
all, not a word of blame or question ; she just understood. 
I wonder if God is like that ? 

Then I told her it all, everything, Glen too, only not 
the names. 

" I think you are wrong, Peter," she said at last. 
" He always loved you. And, believing that, I think I 
am almost sorrier for him than for you. Men are more 
slaves to their worse selves than we, and to know he has 
injured beyond reparation his dear love must be keener 
and more living torture to a man than even j/ours." 

I had not thought of that. 

" They say dying people have prescience ; I'm afraid 
I haven't. I can only hope it will come right somehow. 
You were meant to be happy. But remember, love's the 
biggest thing in the world, bigger than hatred and pride, 
bigger than one's own self. And, Peter, remember too, 
unless you forgive you cannot be forgiven ; and to forgive 
truly means to forget." 

" But but ' I stammered, " do you mean treat 
him as if nothing as if he were Dick ? " 

" He has suffered nearly as much as you, Peter, perhaps 
more, for the blame is his ; he bears it for you both." 

I never thought of that either. And still the 
waltz played. 

Jasmine died in the night. 



CHAPTER V 
A Visit from Dick 

THEY buried Jasmine yesterday. There was a big funeral. 
She was quite somebody, after all. Ever and ever so 
many rich and clever people came ; and they wrote a 
lot about her in the papers, and the loss her death was 
to the scientific world, for she had invented or improved 
or discovered something or other ; and they told about 
her student days and her brilliant career. I made nurse 
buy me all the papers, and I felt quite awed to think 
all this was just Jasmine that I used to have such jolly 
yarns with. 

I wondered if she was still smiling that patient smile 
of hers as she read their unstinted praises, and tracing 
with her heart-blood across the page, " He married someone 
else " ? I can't get used to her being away. I wish 
I were well enough to leave the hospital. They say I 
can go in a few days. 

I asked nurse to put all the jasmine Rex sent me to-day 
in her coffin ; I think she would have liked it. I wonder 
if she's still " pushin' on " somewhere else ? I'll try to be 
as brave as you, Jasmine. Dolly came again last night ; 
it's awfully good of her to spend so much time with me, 
because she is always busy and it can't be very exciting 
just to yarn with Peter Nobody-in-Particular. 

But I never want to be ill again, it's simply horrible ; 
and I never knew before a bed could get so hard or a back 
so sore. There are lots of different qualities in different 
parts of the same bed ; Jasmine and I used to find names 
for them. The middle part of mine, where I rested most 
when I was too bad to move, I called the Slough of Despond, 

265 



266 PETER PIPER 

and just above the dent I called it the Mount of Expecta- 
tion, because they always lifted me up higher on it to 
have my meals. It's perfectly marvellous the way they 
can lift one. I am much heavier than my little nurse, 
but she makes me catch hold of her shoulder, gives a 
small hoist, and there I am, moved as gently as can be. 

Nurses are all angels, the ones here anyway ; they come 
in now and eat chocolates with me. But it's the indecency 
of being ill I hate most. And I don't like people seeing 
me in my nightgown. 

I suppose I'm in a cross, cantankerous mood to-day, 
and nothing can go right, but I do miss Jasmine dreadfully, 
and I wish Rex hadn't sent those flowers. 

Peter, Peter, this is not the way to behave on a lovely 
morning. There are two sunbeams dropping through the 
magnolia tree and playing see-saw across the bridge of 
my nose ; they make me a pair of fairy specs. And, 
Di, you should just see the geraniums to-day holding up 
their wet, vivid mouths for a kiss ; and the sun goes 
round the bed pecking them all in turn like a large-famih'ed 
grandpapa. 

I'm hungry ; I hope it will soon be breakfast-time. 
Days are very long in a hospital because everybody seems 
to wake up in the middle of the night. Nurse comes in 
and washes me about five ; do you know I quite look 
forward to it. Incidents like that assume a tremendous 
importance when you've nothing to do. I suppose that's 
why the fewer real interests you have in life, the more 
you cling to forms and little observances. 

I like to listen to the trams whizzing by ; when I'm 
on the veranda I try to recognise the faces of the people in 
them sometimes I do. Once I saw our cook, and it gave 
me a positive thrill of excitement. Scarcely any of the 
people think to glance up at us white beds. I know I 
never used to myself, but I always will now. It's comfort- 
ing to see anyone cast so much as a flicker of curiosity in 
your direction when lying sick. The most depressing feeling 
in the whole world is that nobody is in the least interested 



A VISIT FROM DICK 267 

in you, and you get that badly when you have to be still, 
hour after hour, and try not to bother the nurses more 
than you can help. 

The Morrises seem to be spreading horrid tales about 
me. I think it's rather unkind of them, because I'm certain 
Sissie is relieved we should never have got on together 
but I expect they consider I have insulted the family 
through Glen, and it's easier to forgive an injury than an 
insult. The only consolation I've got is that Freda won't 
be my sister-in-law and I'll never have to kiss her again. 
I think it's horrible having to kiss people you don't care 
about, for the look of the thing. I think it's such a shame 
to make that tenderest expression of love an everyday 
method of greeting. I only like to kiss people just when 
I want to, not as a way of emphasising their arrival and 
departure. 

Di, if you could see the flame-gum Dick brought me ; 
it's spreading out its filament flowers like that thread- 
lollie the Syrians sell on the way to the Zoo ; it always 
looks so entrancingly delicious, but I coaxed Dick to buy 
me sixpennorth one day, and by the time we got home 
the feathery stuff had all melted down to a hard lump 
like common peppermint. It was so disappointing most 
things you admire from a distance are. It made Dick's 
pocket sticky, too, and that annoyed him. 

He came to say good-bye to me, he's off to Kalgoorlie 
in a couple of days now, so he fetched in for a last chat 
brought me a lot of books and the flowering gum. 
It looks quaint and savage among the roses and 
jasmine, but it gives me such a pleasant feel to look 
at it. 

How Dick understands ! I wonder why we never fell 
in love with each other. He came fairly early in the 
morning, and I gave a perfect yell of joy when his funny 
old face came over the top of the screen, and held out my 
arms. He grabbed them both and shook them soundly 
(he's been away up at the Hill again, you see). 

" Well, old chap," he said, " how goes it ? " He 



268 PETER PIPER 

inspected me thoroughly. " You don't look in the last 
stages of decay." 

I grinned up at him in blissful content. The very 
sight of his clothes was a joy, they seemed to shout strength 
and health at me, so that I said irrelevantly, " Dick, I 
feel as if I could get up and go home with you." 

He gave me the latest news, a good many things that 
secretive little cat of a Dolly hadn't told me about her 
and Ralph; he says everybody expects the engagement 
any day. 

" Goodness ! " I said, surprised, " are they as hot as 
all that ? Things must have progressed since I was ill." 

" Hot ! " Dick echoed. " Apart they raise the tem- 
perature, but together one positively perspires to go near 
them." 

Oh, it was just all too short, but he had to go. We never 
mentioned Glen. Bother thinking ! but you can't help 
it when you've nothing to do but wiggle your toes. I do 
wish I hadn't promised Dolly, and yet I believe Jasmine 
would have thought I was doing right. I wonder if I 
am ? 

I have promised to see Rex. I've told nurse next time 
he brings me any jasmine to ask him to come in. I feel 
all ways about it. I don't want to see him. I don't ; per- 
haps he'll misunderstand my motive I'm sure Dolly does. 
Well, it's no use fussing now ; I've said I will, and I'll 
keep my word. But, oh dear ! why did I ? I suppose 
because she started to give me a piece of her mind again. 
I told her, judging by sample, she must have an unpleasant 
mind ; at least, the one she keeps for distribution. 

I wonder if he really is as unhappy as Dolly says ? 
I want to do the right thing, but I do dread seeing him. 



CHAPTER VI 
The Phoenix 

" A man's heart is a deep, deep well, 
What's in it God alone can tell ; 
I dinna ken ma ain mysel'." 

THIS would keep throbbing over and over in my brain 
this morning, as I waited for Rex to come. I thought he 
would yesterday, and I was miserably nervous and hated 
myself for giving in, but when he only sent the jasmine 
by a boy I felt quite blank. I suppose it was because 
I had screwed my courage up to an effort that wasn't 
needed. I hate to waste energy. Suppose he doesn't 
corne to-day either, or any more ? Of course I don't care, 
it would be a relief no, it wouldn't ; I've promised Dolly 
to be different, and it would be easier to begin before I 
get well and distant again. 

I wish my hair wasn't so short, but then he's used to 
it like that. I made nurse bring me a basin of water to 
curl it nicely with ; it's not quite as niggery as it used to 
be, and I've got on my very prettiest gown, and his jasmine 
beside me on the table. I've got a corner of the veranda 
all to myself, too. Nurse is fearfully excited, and trying 
hard not to show it ; she said the bed of geraniums at the 
back of me made my face look like a pearl on a scarlet 
cushion. She thinks it's going to be a reconciliation scene. 
I really can't help seeing a bit of humour in it myself ; 
it is such a sunny, noisy morning, tragedy seems fairly 
ridiculous. 

One of the housemaids is having a nice time at the side 
gate with a car conductor. Her name is Elsa, and she told 
me a lot about him this morning as she was cleaning out 

269 



170 PETER PIPER 

my room. She has been walking out with him for three 
years now, and they hope to get married soon. Lucky 
Elsa! 

He did come. Nurse trotted along the veranda twitter- 
ing with excitement, and, at her heels, Hercules. He looked 
more like Hercules than ever in the morning sunshine, he 
carries those huge shoulders of his so splendidly. I cannot 
help worshipping beautiful things, and, in spite of myself, 
my heart gave sudden praise to God for making anything 
so gloriousj 

I like his self-possession, too ; he strode along, 
seemingly unconscious of the stir he was making, for 
invalids sat up to stare after him, and nurses called ex- 
citedly to each other under their breath to come and have 
a look at Miss Delaney's Greek god they told me after. 

For the first time I gazed at him with a perfectly un- 
prejudiced eye ; he seemed to have more than ever that 
look of power about him, but it was not only mere physical 
dominance from his great build and strength, it seemed 
some new quality, a power of the mind, and wonderful 
self-restraint, and curbed will that I had never known in 
the old Rex. So he had altered too ! 

But when nurse left us, and he lifted his blue eyes and 
gazed squarely at me, I seemed to look thAiugh to his soul, 
and there I saw such a hell of suffering perhaps Jasmine 
was right. Involuntarily I shrank from it. Of course 
he misunderstood me ; he compressed his lips. 

" Nurse said you wanted to see me," he said, " but 
perhaps she made a mistake." 

" No," I said, impulsively stretching out my hand ; 
" please sit down. I did want to see you. I wanted," 
I went on hurriedly, for it was even harder than I thought 
it would be, " to thank you for the jasmine. I did appreciate 
it ; why didn't you say it was from you ? " 

" I didn't think," he said quietly, " you would have 
cared about taking it from me." 

" Oh," I said involuntarily, " have I been as bitter 
as all that ? " 



THE PHCENIX 271 

He smiled a rare smile. " You were justified." 

I gazed at him in more bewilderment every minute. 
That smile was new ; so many things about him were new. 
I felt as if I had been suddenly confronted with a stranger 
who bore a likeness to someone I once knew. Was he 
really different, or was it that I had got so used in my 
mind to picturing him a monster that I couldn't get over 
the shock of finding him a man ? 

" Rex," I said, thinking my thoughts aloud, " you're 
different." 

A sudden gleam, like sunlight on a sapphire, made his 
eyes limpid when I said his name, but he answered quietly 
enough : " A man learns by his mistakes, Peter ; the pity 
is, he makes others suffer for his blunders who cannot 
share his profit." 

" But I have begun to profit," I said. " I can see now 
I have been hard and petty. I thought I ought to be for- 
given, but I didn't realise others might deserve it too. 
I " oh dear, it was hard " I have been very selfish, 
I'm afraid, Rex." 

" Peter ! " 

" You have been wonderfully patient and forgiving " 

" Peter, don't mock me." 

" I mean it, Rex. I have needed your pardon too. 
I I don't think I knew it till this minute. All along 
I've been treating you as if you were someone else. You 
I really believe you are a stranger." 

" I am a stranger, Peter," he faced me fairly ; " the 
Rex you knew is dead." 

" I am glad," I said softly. " May I be friends with 
you ? " I put the tiniest emphasis on the last word, 
and he flushed like a boy with pleasure and then he turned 
away. 

" I think my punishment is almost greater than I 
deserve." 

I lifted my eyebrows. 

" When you were unforgiving I almost forgave myself p 
but now I never shall." 



27* PETER PIPER 

" Please," I said, " my friend." 

He lifted his eyes slowly till they met mine, and he 
caught his breath. " Oh, Peter," he said, " are all women 
like you ? " 

"Rex," I laughed, "you baby!" But laughter is 
close to tears. 

" How I love you ! " he said. 

Something stirred in me that hurt, and I flushed 
angrily. 

"I can't help it!" He got on his feet. "I can't 
come near you on false pretences, I've got to be honest. 
Perhaps you won't speak to me again if I say it, but I 
must. I love you," he said steadily ; " since I met you 
no other woman has been a woman to my eyes, they were 
only beings that served to remind me of you. With all 
the reverence of my heart I want you for my wife. I 
know I must begin at the beginning, like any other man 
who dared to hope what I hope. I know I've a bigger 
handicap with you than any other ; I'm willing to face 
it. If you will only let me see you sometimes, let me do 
things for you. If you have forgiven me, Peter, give me 
a chance, like any other man, to make you care. Peter, 
I love you so." 

" Don't," I said sharply, because the ache inside bit 
keener. " Oh, go away ! " 

He picked up his hat. " May I come back ? " he said. 

Then I laughed. " Oh, Rex, you tilter against wind- 
mills ! " (I laid my hand on my breast) " there's nothing 
here but dust and ashes." 

" Out of the ashes," he replied, " rises the phosnix." 

There was a silence. He held out his hand. " Good- 
bye, Peter." 

" Rex," I said irrelevantly, " I almost wish you could." 

Whatever made me say that ? 



CHAPTER VII 
Convalescence 

I THINK convalescing is the most tiresome part of illness. 
I am so sick of lying still. I think I shall never want 
to go to sleep again, and if there's half a square inch on 
my back that doesn't ache, and ache, I wish someone would 
find it for me. I've read till I'm sick of reading, and I'm 
getting a double chin with always lying banked up on 
pillows. I'm certain of it, though nurse only laughs 
when I say so. 

What a snappy old pig I'm getting ! But my hair's 
at that horrid short-long stage again ; I seem to spend 
half my life growing hair ; I've a good mind to buy a 
wig. 

They let me get up and sit on a chair to-day for the 
first time ; and, will you believe me, I couldn't stand for 
awhile. I couldn't believe it myself, although they had 
warned me ; but I felt as strong as a lion in bed. 

It was so funny. When I first felt for the floor, sliding 
my foot down from the bed, it seemed miles and hundreds 
of miles away from me, and the lower I dropped my foot 
the farther the floor receded. I felt as if I were going down 
into the bottomless pit. I caught up with it at last, and 
started the other foot on a reconnoitring expedition, while 
nurse held my arm and laughedj 

She meanly asked me, too, when I was going to play 
her tennis, because I just long for it when I'm lying still. 
My foot got on to the floor at last ; I couldn't feel anything, 
but they had stopped going down, and I could see there 
was a floor, so I concluded I was on it. I lifted a leg 
uncertainly and took a step forward. It didn't go exactly 
8 373 



274 PETER PIPER 

in the direction I wanted it to, but nurse guided me on 
like a toy on wheels, and we got to the arm-chair at last 
(it was about four feet away), me feeling sick and giddy. 

I wouldn't have believed a few weeks in bed could 
get one's muscles so out of control. My legs felt like those 
of threepenny dolls who are jointed on at the hips with 
wire they waggled in just such an aimless fashion. I 
only sat for an hour or two, and then my back ached so 
much that I had to get ingloriously back into bed. 

There's another peculiar phenomenon ; when you're 
ill everybody kisses you, even girls who never do when 
you're well. I hate being kissed, but when you're ill 
you're at everybody's mercy. 

Dolly came this afternoon. She and Ralph are engaged 
at last. She broke the news in her usual delicate way. 
After distributing half a bushel of roses over the room, 
and giving me all the latest engagements, and telling 
me about a nice tennis party at Lucy's, and how Maria 
and Trixie and Foxy Bill were keeping, she suddenly said, 
swinging her foot to and fro violently, " By the way, 
Ralph and I've fixed it up." 

I gaped at her for a minute or two and then I said, 
" You haven't ! When ? " 

" Oh, last night." She was very unconcerned. 

" How did he do it ? what did he say ? " I demanded. 

" You mind your own business," she advised kindly. 
" Will you be my bridesmaid ? " 

" Already ? " I said. " My word, Dolly, yqu don't 
mean to give him a loophole of escape." 

" If you weren't an invalid," Dolly retorted, " I'd 
throw the pillows at you ; don't abuse your privileges." 

So then I stopped teasing, but I simply can't realise 
it, it's too sudden. She's going to be married in three 
months, but Ralph's going down to Port Victor he's 
been called, or ordered, or something to it. I don't know 
exactly how curates are made to change their quarters 
the fact remains, he is moving, and he wants Dolly to go 
with him and face the new flock. 



CONVALESCENCE 75 

So she is. It's really too much to grasp at once. I 
think an engagement's quite enough to consider at one 
time, without having a wedding harnessed in with it. 
But Dolly's as pleased as can be, and I don't wonder. 
Clergyman or not, Ralph's a man. She says he's coming 
to see me for a bit to-night, to let me pour congratulations 
on his defenceless head. " He says he ought to get them 
all," Dolly told me ; " such a commonplace remark, as 
I told him." But all the same you could see it pleased 
her. 

" But what," she added sadly, " I shall do when it 
comes to taking part in tea-fights and attending church 
concerts, Heaven alone knows ! I suppose I can't always 
have a cold, can I, Peter ? And do you think they'll 
expect me to get up bazaars ? I've never been to a bazaar 
in my life. Oh, well, I'm only engaged now, and sufficient 
unto the day It's most inconsiderate of Ralph to be 
a clergyman ; he says it's inconsiderate of me not to be 
cut out on the pattern of a clergyman's wife, but on that 
point, as on every other, I suppose we'll have to agree to 
differ. An old lady told me once the way to keep a happy 
menage was to find some fundamental point of agreement, 
and always fly to that like an anchor or a haven when 
you're drifting away from each other." Dolly's face was 
very solemn. " We have discovered one point of concord, 
Peter. We both hate sugar in our tea. I guess we'll 
have to make that fact the basis of our married happiness." 
But anyone can see they are fearfully in love. 

I don't think she said anything else important, except 
that Lucy is away in Broken Hill, and seems to talk very 
often of one man, so perhaps she is going to get engaged 
too. It made me feel quite resentful. I don't see why 
everybody I know need do it at once. 

Dot Parks came to see me again this afternoon, she 
was here last week too, I think it is so kind of her, I never 
knew she was such a nice girl before. Perhaps being ill 
makes you notice things more keenly. She wore a white 
linen coat and skirt, and white shoes and stockings ; 



276 PETER PIPER 

through her lace blouse you just caught a glimpse of helio- 
trope ribbon ; she looked cool and graceful. She brought 
me a couple of books to read, and chatted about her little 
nieces and nephews she seems to have millions of them. 
She stayed about an hour, and I quite enjoyed her visit, 
we weren't dull a bit. 

When she got up to go she said she had enjoyed looking 
at my face. I nearly blushed with pleasure ; she is the 
sort of girl who very rarely pays a compliment ; it made 
me like her twice as much. It's strange how much nicer 
you think people are when you find out they have the 
good taste to appreciate you, isn't it ? 

She looked rather pale, I thought, and the shadows 
under her eyes were heavy, but I didn't remark on it. 
The only people, bar hypochondriacs, who like to be told 
they look ill are fat, rosy folk, who wouldn't recognise 
toothache if they felt it. I wonder if Jack is being horrid 
to her ? Now I come to think of it, Dolly told me she 
thinks something is up ; no one has said anything, but 
she's inclined to suspect there's been a heated scene 
between him and this Dot. The other one seems to 
have all the running at present. 

I do sincerely hope not. I hate to see other girls' 
romances break up. When you've been through it yourself 
you understand just how it hurts. 

If I don't call nurse to put out the light in a minute 
she'll come and do it, so I'd better stop writings 



Home Again 

HOME again hooroo ! It's simply heaven to be back 
again ; not that I didn't love the hospital in a way, and 
all the nurses, but, after all, one's own folks I want to 
go about singing, " Be it ever so hu u mble ! " It's 
lucky for the family I haven't got a voice. 

Di, you don't know what it is to a girl brought up 
like me to be able to say that word " family," to feel 
that it's a live meaning for me ; they're mine, Trixie 
and Dolly and Jack, my very own people, mine by the tie 
of blood and love ; I never quite knew what I had missed 
all those years until I found them. Now I understand 
what Rex meant when he said he was lonely. He has 
always seen the difference between his lot and others', 
but I only knew my own. 

He came round last night to welcome me home, and 
Dolly nearly hugged the life out of me because I talked 
to him nicely awhile. It was the first time I had seen 
him since that day at the hospital, and at first I wasn't 
sure how to behave, but I took my cue from him. He 
greeted me with just the same pleasant courtesy he did 
Trixie and the rest, no more and no less, as if we were 
friends. I fell into the same attitude in a moment. You 
wouldn't believe how easy it was, it seemed to come quite 
natural. Once in the evening I stopped and stared at 
myself mentally ; it seemed unbelievable that it was me 
sitting there in the big arm-chair, talking to him and 
Ralph like that. 

He sang to us, too. I loved to hear his voice again : 
it is so beautiful, it makes my heart laugh and cry and 

277 



278 PETER PIPER 

tremble all at once, as if it were an instrument he was 
tuning; but he would not sing "You are my darling," 
though Dolly begged him to. He laughed and said he'd 
sing her and Ralph a song that was meant for them alone. 
He played a little coon sort of melody and then began : 

" Two little owls went sailing 

Out in the clouds and rain, 
And sat on the garden paling 

To get back their breath again. 
' It's fearfully wet,' she murmured, 

Oh, what are we going to do ? ' 
He looked and he sighed, and then he replied, 

' To-woo, little girl, to-woo.' " 

Everybody fairly shrieked at them, and Rex's eyes 
danced with mischief. 

It was such a nice evening, but they made me go off 
to bed early. I've still to be coddled in a dozen different 
ways, and have to be very quiet, I'm not even to see too 
many visitors. It's a nuisance, but I do get tired very 
quickly ; it makes me cross with myself. Fancy not 
being able to walk as far as the lily-pond without sitting 
down several times to rest ! Being in bed does make one 
horribly weak. 

Dot Lavington came round, nominally to inquire 
after me, and Jack, who was stewing in his room, came 
out and went away with her. I lifted an eyebrow across 
the room to Dolly in inquiry, and she closed her eyes in 
confirmation. So evidently Dot Parks' cake is complete 
dough. 

She rang up this morning and asked if she might come 
round and see me for awhile. She brought me the dearest 
little lavender sachet you ever saw ; it's made of blue ribbon 
with lavender bebe ribbon across it, and edged with lace 
which has blue ribbon run through it. She wouldn't let 
me thank her, she said one can never have too many 
sachets among one's clothes, and she made it in a spare 
afternoon. 



HOME AGAIN 279 

I wonder why she is so nice to me ? She is not the 
sort of girl who bothers herself much about people, as a 
rule, but in her quiet, unobtrusive fashion she has gone 
out of her way several times to do things for me. You 
know there was that supper-cloth she offered to make 
for me when I was engaged ; I wonder what has become 
of it ? Neither of us like to mention it, I suppose. 

We spent most of the morning down by the lily-pond. 
I managed to crawl that far, leaning on her arm. It was 
just heavenly to be out of doors again after being cooped 
up so long, and to see the whole hemisphere of sky instead 
of a little square patch of it through a window. Dot had 
some fancy work with her ; I, being an invalid, was privi- 
leged to do nothing but admire the scenery and the colour 
of her stockings they were deep violet. 

Trixie had our tea sent down there, and when we 
wanted a diversion I set the swans quarrelling over biscuits. 
Beautiful, slidy, graceful things, the way they shoot over 
the water reminds me of boys coming down a greasy pole. 
We didn't talk all the time ; she is rather quiet from a con- 
versational point of view, but it's a reposeful kind of quiet, 
not the sort that makes a hostess switch desperately on 
to the weather. She seldom laughs, but when she does 
it's only one short, mellow note like a stroke on a bell. 
I'm beginning to be certain she's one of those people that 
the more you see the more you like, and I'm beginning to 
be even more certain, if Jack's thrown her over for someone 
else, he is even more of a fool than I suspected. Any man 
who runs two women at once is a fool or a genius, and 
Jack's strong point isn't his head. 

I wish I knew quite what the situation is, but I should 
never dream of asking either of them questions, and I 
don't suppose either of them is likely to confide in me. 
I wonder why I never found out before how nice she is ? 
I used to think she was a very ordinary sort of girl, and 
wonder what Jack saw in her ; the other Dot is at least 
pretty and impudent. My Dot is not pretty, but she has 
a gracious face, and deep wells of eyes. She told me thia 



2fio PETER PIPER 

morning she liked me from the very first, and determined 
to be friends, but she does not make friends easily. 

" I thought I was never going to succeed," she said 
rather shyly, " but over at the hospital that last time 
I felt I had somehow got inside your barriers." 

" If I'd only guessed you liked me," I said impulsively, 
'* you'd have been there ages ago, but I you never said 
anything and 

She smiled a bit regretfully as she broke off a thread 
of cotton. 

" It's unfortunate to be born reserved," she said. 
" I can never say what I mean, and when I feel anything 
very much I can say less than ever, but I-" she hesitated 
as if choosing her words, " I'm afraid you'll just have 
to try to understand what I think about you without 
being told, for I shall never be able to tell you, but you're 
one of the few persons I believe to be absolutely sincere, 
and I'd trust you with any secret of mine." 

The awkward silence that always follows an outburst 
of real feeling hung over us for a minute. I sat staring at 
the willows, feeling utterly ashamed. I don't deserve that 
people should give me the love they do, and I wish I was 
a better girl. 

She held her work a little away from me, debating the 
relative merits of a butterfly or a spider in the corner, and 
then she said, " What made me notice you particularly 
first was a remark a friend of mine made about you. Would 
you like to hear it ? " 

I nodded. 

" It was Rex Ware ; he told me he had more respect 
for you than for any girl in Adelaide you were as straight 
and clean as a lily. He talks rather lightly of girls as a rule, 
or at least he used, and that made me take more notice 
of you. Rex is rather hard to please." 

She sewed on a few moments, and then said casually, 
" You used not to like him, though, did you ? " 

" Not at -not when I first came over," I replied truth- 
fully. 



HOME AGAIN 281 

" No ? " Her needle pranked idly in and out among 
the threads, and her face wore a puzzled, thoughtful look. 
" Had " then she checked herself hastily. 

Dot does not ask questions, either. 

It's hard even for the truest friend to decide where 
sympathy becomes curiosity. 



CHAPTER IX 
Peter is Home-sick 

HEAVEN preserve us from engaged couples? 

I wonder if Glen and I made such objects of ourselves ? 
You know, there's a perfect atmosphere about an engage- 
ment, a kind of mental perfume that pervades the place, 
and which I suppose is awfully nice for Ralph and Dolly, 
but trying to those whose noses are out of joint. 

There, now, envious Peter, you feel better ! 

The air is like a seltzogene charged with sentiment, 
and we always have to turn a handle very noisily before 
entering a room, and it's so awkward if you forget. If 
they'd only have one room, and stick to it, it would be 
easier to remember, but they're all over the house like 
influenza. Still, they're having such a very short engage- 
ment that, as Dolly says, the sweetness has to be concen- 
trated. You know, she's awfully funny about it, she seasons 
even passion with a dash of humour ; she affects to prty 
Ralph for what she terms his temporary mental aberration, 
and still bewails the fact that he's a clergyman. 

Yesterday she asked him if he couldn't turn actor. 
" I think you could easily change from one of those profes- 
sions to another, Ralph," she said wickedly ; " the essential 
thing in both seems the same, to pose." 

But Ralph only laughs his joyous chuckle, he never 
gets cross with her ; I believe he is rather proud of her wit. 
But, for all he can stand jests about it, you mustn't think 
he isn't devoted to his work. He is, and he believes every- 
thing he preaches, and, what is more, practises it too. 
You can't help respecting a man like that, and through 

282 



PETER IS HOME-SICK 283 

him his creed. It must be comforting to be convinced 
about anything. I wish I were. I'm like a cork tossed about 
by every wave ; I do not know anything, and I can't 
believe anything ; all I can do is just try to smile at every- 
one round me and be jolly ; but Ralph says if everyone 
did that there'd be no need for religion. Dolly was so 
shocked. 

Conversation here is apt to be dull nowadays, it turns 
mainly on cushions and carpets and clothes. The wedding 
dresses are exercising Dolly's mind. She's going to have 
Rex and me for bridesmaids ! She wants a second girl, 
but she won't have one because, if she did, Trixie says 
it'd have to be Ralph's sister Gwen and she doesn't like 
her. She was almost diplomatic in the way she broached 
the subject to me, to see if I'd mind Rex appearing with 
me, and when I told her frankly I'd be rather pleased than 
otherwise she actually kissed me. Dolly is not prodigal 
of caresses. 

I got another queer attack of home-sickness to-day. 
I want Nugget and Fran. Poor old Fran ! he is quite 
well, and still on the old place. I told the lawyers to go 
on paying him to stop and look after it ; I had to put it 
that way because he'd never take charity, and father 
ought to have left him some money instead of it all to 
me ; he has been with us so many years, and there is no- 
where else for him to go, he is too old. 

They wanted me to sell the place, but I wouldn't 
there's Fran ; besides, some day I may go back there. 
Really I might, Di, I often dream about it the miles 
of scrub in the dawn-wind, and the carpet of everlastings 
like fallen snow at night, and Nugget's quarters gathering 
themselves up under me a couple of miles, then turn to 
the left by Lovers' Rise, and home again round the 
New Star Mine. 

That was the first ride we took together ; it seems 
like a hundred years ago, and yet it seems as close as 
yesterday. I can understand now what they mean by 
saying there is no time in heaven ; I expect they judge 



284 PETER PIPER 

everything there by feelings, and they are quite equal to 
paradoxes of that sort. 

We're on the edge of winter now ; things are waking 
up from the summer sleep and beginning to eat and drink 
and get green. The grass is crawling out in every hole 
and corner in a reluctant kind of way, and the first rains 
have started some water in the creek near our place. 
I think there's nothing more wonderful than to see the 
new blades popping up among the dry, white-yellow grass 
that the summer has scorched to death, the wild oats and 
prickles that stand foot-high like silent witnesses of her 
relentless heat, and get all in your stockings and scratch 
your legs. 

The creek at Lovers' Rise will be trickling now, and 
the Forest of Arden green again. 

Why are our hearts the only things that never know a 
second spring ? 



CHAPTER X 
Concerning Taps 

I BELIEVE the human soul is just elastic, it doesn't matter 
how long you stretch it out in grief, as soon as the spasm 
is over it goes snap back to its original size as cheerful 
as you please. I thought in the hospital I'd try hard to 
be brave and smiling for the rest of my life and I'd never 
let anyone guess it was spoilt ; but the extraordinary 
thing is, I don't have to try, I can't help smiling. 

Of course it didn't come all at once, but I really don't 
feel different from what I did before ; now, I can get just 
as excited over Bill or the chickens or the garden as ever. 
Trixie's the same, Dolly's the same, I'm the same it's 
hardly believable, and in a way it seems hardly decent, 
but I am. 

Is it because I'm young that I can't stay unhappy ? 

The only thing is, I don't like reading love stories 
now. There's a little girl in a pink dress outside flying 
a kite ; it keeps tumbling to the ground, but every time 
she picks it up with a smile and tosses it aloft again. That 
child is me all over. My kites have had no luck so far, 
but I expect I'll go tossing them up until I'm tired. Wonder 
how old I'll be before I get tired ? 

There's rows in my fowl-yard lately. Algernon doesn't 
seem to be on speaking terms with Maria, I think she's 
jealous of a new pullet I've bought. I wonder if there are 
farmyard tragedies too ? Poor old Maria ! What a beast 
I am ! I'll give the pullet to Wilkins ; I'll call it Dot 
Lavington. it's got just that impudent cock in the eye 

285 



286 PETER PIPER 

that spells success. I wonder if that's why I don't like 
her ? Failures always hate success, don't they ? 

Dolly asked her up to tea last night, and the way she 
Jack- Jack- Jacked it round the place made Dolly and me 
want to shake her. At least, it did Dolly ; I wanted to 
shake him more. He's the one I'm Grossest with ; although 
I hate her for t'other Dot's sake, I have to admire her 
too. She's clever, but Jack's a fool. She's got what she 
wants ; he only thinks he wants what he's got. Men are 
idiots. 

It's a beautiful afternoon, not windy exactly, but 
the air's just moving around to keep from getting stiff. 
'Way below, the factory chimneys round the city look 
like rickety telegraph poles among ruins. There's a tap 
dripping on the lawn drip, drip ; and then for variety it 

comes with a funny little spurt drippety-drip Oh ! 

look, Di, there's a sparrow trying to get a drink at it. 
The wee fellow flies up and hangs there for a second, his 
wings going like an electric fan, and the drops falling down 
his dry little throat ; he's made the attempt three or four 
times, he must be very thirsty. 

The palms on the lawn are getting annoyed with this 
puss-in-the-corner business of the wind ; the date palms 
are the quaintest, they remind me of the wasp-waisted 
ladies you see in Thackeray with their hair done Marie 
Antoinette style. 

The leaves of one of them are becoming badly ragged ; 
it's the image of a lad}' in an open car without a net on 
her back hair. I wonder if in the night they talk scandal 
and use the cotton palms for fans ? I like the shadows 
they cast on the lawn better than themselves. It's the 
elusive and the incomprehensible that always grip one's 
fancy, like heaven. 

Here's another birdie for a drink. I think if I were that 
tap I would get so tired of dripping. Fancy having to drip, 
whether you wanted to or not, till someone turned you off. 
After all, to believe in free will is the only thing that 
makes life worth living, isn't it ? Otherwise one would 



CONCERNING TAPS 287 

feel like the tap. And over by the fence is a tecoma, 
yellow as sand. 

I'm talking an awful lot of rot to you, Di, but I feel 
in a lazy, chatty kind of mood and everybody's too busy 
to talk to me again. Dolly's trousseau fills Trixie's mind 
to the exclusion of everything else. It mainly engages 
Dolly's attention too, what time Ralph leaves her, and in 
a way I would be quite lonesome if it weren't for Rex. Of 
course Lucy and Dot Parks and others come to see me, 
but, although I've lots of friends, Glen had monopolised 
my time so much, from the beginning, that I've no very 
great friend who would always be dropping in, for even 
if I'm nominally better I still have to lounge about and 
not excite myself. 

But Rex can come as often as he likes, and no one 
comments on it. He's used to coming, too, you see, 
for before I came, as Dolly says, he half-lived here ; he 
has no people of his own, and it was like a home to him. 
And somehow or other the old relationship has sprung 
up again, no one knows quite how, but we all feel com- 
fortable and contented ; he is always about, never ob- 
trusive, never in the way, but just there when wanted, 
as Dolly put it. She's as pleased as can be that we have 
buried the hatchet. I can't understand myself how it 
came about, but we are great friends now. We stroll about 
together, and chaperone Ralph and Dolly, and smoke 
cigarettes on the lawn ; and sometimes we even talk 
about Magnet, just a little. It is all so far away, and we 
are both calm and polite about it. You can talk about 
things when you've stopped caring. Romance is only 
amusing served cold. 

But oh, Di ! if I were only meeting him for the first 
time, how I could like him. 

I've discovered why that tap drips, it's for the birds 
to get their water from ; there are half a dozen in a circle 
round it now, taking it in turns to fly up for a drop. The 
tap needs a new head or screw in it, Wilkins says. 

I wonder if we defective taps are any use to God ? 



CHAPTER XI 
Broken Hearts 

I WENT round to tea with Dot Parks to-day. Her sister- 
in-law was there with the dearest baby you ever saw. 
They all thought it pretty ; I didn't ; I don't think any 
bald-headed, slobbery-mouthed, four-months-old lump of 
jelly can deserve an adjective like that, it's degrading 
the word to use it. But this was a jolly little chap ; it 
had big blue eyes that looked as if they thought life was 
a joke, and fiery ginger hair in straggles over the pink 
pate that somehow strengthened the impression. They 
call him Alcibiades, but his name is only George. I could 
have nursed him all day. Even if babies are ugly I 
adore them. 

Dot and I are getting very friendly ; it's funny now 
grief seems to draw people together. It's quite off between 
Jack and her now. He is a fool, for she's worth twenty 
of the other giddy-pate who orders him round like a 
brigadier- general. What fools men are when it comes 
to picking women ! 

We did fancy-work most of the afternoon ; I'm making 
a point-lace top for Dolly's wedding nightgown. Dot is 
still on that supper-cloth she commenced for me, but 
we've agreed she'd better give it to Dolly now. The 
wedding is coming off fearfully soon. The whole household 
is upside down, arranging things and getting her trousseau 
together. It does seem absurd to think of Dolly getting 
married. 

Di, I wish you could see Alcibiades sitting up in his 
pram, hurling defiance at the sparrows who are bold enough 
to come near him. Oh, he's a mighty warrior before the 

288 



BROKEN HEARTS 289 

Lord, aren't you, Alcy ? But the sky seems to fascinate 
him most ; I wonder is it because a baby's mind is so near 
the infinite that it needs infinity to gaze at. 

The supper-cloth looks exquisite, it's simply full of 
spiders and butterflies and other queer grubs. I wonder 
Dot doesn't ruin her eyesight over it. If Dolly isn't 
pleased she ought to be. I told Dot I didn't feel like 
giving it up now, and it was almost enough to make me 
get engaged again so that I might have an excuse for claim- 
ing it. But I wished I hadn't when she said quietly, 
" I shouldn't be surprised to hear you were." Then 
she laughed and added, " That's not meant for a pun on 
his name." 

It is so awkward if we can't be friends without people 
saying things like that. I suppose we'll just have to live 
it down, but it is a nuisance because it may make Rex 
think Anyhow, it's no use meeting trouble half- 
way. We are such friends now ; he helps me from being 
in Dolly and Ralph's way. When the four of us are out 
together I think I'm dreaming everything that happened 
last year four of us still, and the only difference, Rex 
instead of Glen. Glen is still in Sydney. 

But I am so sorry for Dot. I do think Jack is a cat. 
Of course we don't talk about it ; unasked sympathy is 
only impertinence, I know that myself from sad experience. 
She keeps a stiff upper lip, but I know she feels badly. 
Once she gxve way and cried, but neither of us has re- 
ferred to it since. It was dark, and you know how one 
is tempted to give confidences and other silly things at 
that time of the day. I forget quite how we got on to 
the subject, for I knew nothing beyond that Jack was 
always with the other Dot now. I wasn't aware anything 
had actually happened, but Dot told me they had had 
a quarrel. 

" Of course it was all my fault," she said, twisting 
her handkerchief nervously as she spoke ; "I lost my 
temper, and then Jack got mad too, and I told him to have 
his old Dot if he wanted her, but he shouldn't have mea 

T 



ago PETER PIPER 

I was just furious, and he said, all right, he would, 
and went off; and the next time I met Mm he was with 
her, and that's all." 

I squeezed her hand in silence, and she choked back 
a tear, but her voice quivered. 

" It wasn't fair of him," she said pitifully. " We'd 
been fond of each other for years, and everybody knew 
about it, and now of course they all laugh at me, cut out 
by another girl. The cat the beast ! She might have 
minded her own affairs and not come poaching. She 
knew he was mine, and there are lots of other fellows in 
Adelaide besides Jack ; but no, she must start asking 
him to picnics and parties without me, and making eyes 
at him, and of course Jack thought she was nice 
But he liked me best still," she went on miserably, " and 
he would have come back if I hadn't got angry. But I'd 
tried not to mind for ages and ages, you know I did, Peter ; 
if only people hadn't talked it would have been all right. 
I didn't mind Jack liking her as long as he liked me best, 
but I did people laughing at me. That's what they used 
to do. I don't know how they can be so cruel ; they used 
to. go out of their way to tell me of places they'd seen Jack 
at with her ; I suppose they pretended to themselves it 
was a kindness to open my eyes " she clenched her hands 
passionately " as if when you cared for anyone it didn't 
make you keener-sighted than everybody else. It wasn't 
all at once. I used to push their hatefulness out of my 
mind and be just the same to Jack, but they kept on 
shooting their beastly little darts ; week after week I'd 
hear something new. If Jack took her to the theatre 
someone would rush to tell me, and I had to smile every 
time and pretend it didn't interest me ; and then one 
night, just after one of them had gone, Jack came and 
that was the end." 

I said nothing. 

" And the awful part," she went on after a pause, 
"is that I can't stop caring. If he only knew what a 
day's life means to me every one seems like a century: 



BROKEN HEARTS 291 

I wake up dreadfully early, long before anyone else, and 
then I begin to think. Sometimes, Peter, I bury my 
face in the pillows and bite them to stop moaning, it's 
it's like physical pain." 

She stared straight ahead and spoke in a low dull 
tone as if she were thinking to herself. If Jack could 
have seen her at that minute ! Men are cruel. I 
must have spoken unconsciously, for she echoed my 
words. 

" Yes, men are cruel. I don't think he ever cared as 
much as I did, but I could have made him if she hadn't 
come between us, for he cared a good bit, and anyway a 
real woman doesn't want a man to give her back as much 
as she gives, she only wants him to let her love him. Dot 
doesn't care for him like that, and he won't let me Peter, 
the pity of it, he won't let me. And I think about it all 
the while I wait for breakfast, and I work at anything I can 
see about the house to tire me so I can't think, and then 
I find there's nothing to do, and I can't fill in the tim*. I try 
to play the piano, to read, sew ; I've even gone and done 
my hair differently and changed my dress to occupy myself, 
but I can't do anything for long. And if I go out and see 
people it's always like a shadow at the back of my mind. 
But the nights are the worst ; he used to come up at nights, 
and and when I go to bed I lie for hours staring up at the 
ceiling. I can't sleep or eat, and I have to keep cheerful 
and not let my people guess. I couldn't bear that. But 
sometimes I think I'll go mad ; I wish I could, or else 
to sleep anything to forget. Sometimes, in the day even, 
I'd sell my soul for an hour's sleep, just a respite. And 
then I I keep remembering all the things he used to say 
to me and " 

She cried for a few minutes in a repressed, passionless 
kind of way. 

" Poor old Dot ! " I said softly, and stroked back her 
hair. 

After awhile she straightened up. " I wish I hadn't 
told you," she said ; " you must think me a fool." 



PETER PIPER 

She goes about dark and quiet smiling as ever. No 
one would guess she cared. 

Me and Dot and father what a lot of broken hearts 
there are wandering round the world ! It reminds you 
of a peach-tree, doesn't it ? The blossoms are too crowded 
for all of them to bear fruit. I wonder if anyone ever cares 
about the flowers that get pushed out ? 

I do wish I could help Dot. I'm sorrier for her than 
for myself, because I suppose I deserve what I've got 
and she doesn't. I think it's more painful to bear other 
people's sorrows than your own. 

Poor old Dot ! I just hope the other turns out a shrew 
and bullies the life out of Jack. 



CHAPTER XII 
Looking On 

I'VE discovered such a lovely way of amusing myself 
I make rhymes. I never knew I could, and it's such fun. 
Rex just roars with laughter at them ; he says my metre's 
got stringhalt and the blind staggers, not to mention other 
diseases, but I'm sure it's not as bad as that. I wrote one 
to-day about him and Glen ; that is, thinking about him 
and Glen made me write the poem, which isn't really about 
either of them. 

That's where imagination comes in. Pegasus needs 
the earth, that's a little fact, to spring from into the air, 
but after that he can sail along quite comfortably on his 
own and the earth doesn't worry him any more. Poets 
are just like that ; they need a particular instance from 
which to delve out the general truth it contains. 

You know I often feel so sorry about Glen and Rex, 
they were so tremendously fond of each other ; I guess 
they are still, for I'm sure Glen must be miserably ashamed 
of his treachery by now ; he will be, anyway, as soon as 
he gets over his infatuation for me. I do wish they could 
make it up somehow. To think a friendship like that 
for Rex often called him David in fun could be upset 
by a girl ! What a lot of trouble women do make in the 
world t 

But Rex didn't see the poem applied to him at all, 
he only cried with laughter. We never can say what we 
mean ; the most deep-rooted sorrow often sounds funny 
when told. There's something commonplace and humorous 
about speech ; I suppose that's why silent grief is the most 
impressive. 



294 PETER PIPER 

But I can't see my poem's so comic, can you, Di ? 
I'll tell it to you. 

Time gallops on, and one by one 

The old friends drift away, 
The pals so true when the world was new 

Are lost when the world goes grey. 
For though we swore that evermore 

Love's flame should burn up keen, 
There's distance and death and slander's breath 

And the girls who come between. 

At the call of a pal I'd march through hell. 

But a girl's red lips are sweet. 
At the rose-hung gate, when the moon is late. 

Lord, how the moments fleet ! 
The smoke-air's dear, and the yarns you hear, 

But even while they speak 
You taste again through the wordy rain 

The fragrance of her cheek. 

It seemed all right till we met last night, 

For the new wine has its charm 
A girl I know had me in tow, 

And Bill with one on his arm. 
We grinned and passed, such chains cling fast. 

But I thought of the pals we've been. 
And for half a breath I hated like death 

The girls who have come between. 

I don't think it funny at all, I think it's sad. Dolly 
getting married made it come into my head, too. It's 
Friday week ; getting awfully close, isn't it ? And I feel 
so lonesome sometimes. I have grown so fond of Dolly, 
and at times I just hate Ralph for taking her away from 
me. Lucy's gone and got engaged, too, to some man 
or other we don't know him and there's only Dot and 
me left to comfort each other. Dolly and Lucy needn't 
have gone and done it together, for men do make a 
difference between girls, or even if they don't you feel 
they ought to, so it amounts to the same thing. 

Of course, I'm awfully pleased Lucy's engaged if she 
wants to be; she isn't cut out for medicine, anyway; 



LOOKING ON 295 

I'm sure I can't tell why she ever started it, for she's the 
sort of girl who can't get on without men ; still, I suppose 
her fees have helped on the 'Varsity. 

Keep looking on the bright side, Peter ! 

Dot and I are going to the cricket this afternoon; 
it's going to be pretty hot, I'm afraid. She came to lunch 
and is inside now talking to Dolly. She won't come often 
to our place now not to tea or dinner, anyway; she'll 
come to lunch because Jack is never home then but 
I go up a lot to her place. Every day I find her nicer, 
she has such a sweet, slow manner. She looks almost pretty 
to-day ; she has a violet dress on, and a big black hat with 
violets dotted over it like flies on tanglefoot ; she rarely 
smiles, but she was always rather grave even in her happy 
days. I do hope we won't run into Jack and the other 
Dot down at the Oval ; I know he's taking her. 

I feel so puzzled about the situation, for really, you 
know, I can't help liking the other Dot a bit too, now 
I am beginning to know her better. At present we see 
a fair deal of her, for, though they are not openly engaged, 
Jack told Dolly he means to marry her, so of course the 
family has to sit up and do the civil. She reminds me of 
Trixie ; she's built on the same plump, curvy lines, and 
she's got a most infectious giggle, and she seems fond 
of Jack. After all, I suppose everything is fair in love. 

But it must be absolutely fiendish for my poor Dot 
to see her parading round with Jack, so I hope we don't 
meet them. I don't like cricket a bit, but you see every- 
body you know there, and such adorable dresses. I 
dare say, too, we'll meet Rex ; I wouldn't let him come 
with us, because Dot says it makes her feel a gooseberry. 

That is very stupid of her, for we are nothing but the 
most friendly of friends ; we never could be anything 
else I'm sure Rex has given up the idea. He is always 
sensible, he never says anything Dolly and Dot might 
not listen to. But of course they don't know that. 

I don't mind a bit about Dolly's trousseau now. I 
made her a braid petticoat the other day, such a beauty; 



2o6 PETER PIPER 

I've planned out my whole life ; I shall be a beautiful 
old maid, and help other people make their trousseaux 
and babies' bonnets for ever and ever ; and Rex will 
come and take me out when I feel lonely, and we will 
be friends until we die. 

He says I ought to write an epithalamium is that 
the right word ? I mean a marriage song on Dolly 
and Ralph, but I don't believe I could. I can't realise 
the wedding is so close. You ought to see my brides- 
maid's frock, it's a simple dream. 

Dolly says she's sure Ralph will do something wrong 
if she doesn't, and every day she warns me afresh not 
to tread on her train. Trixie's in her element, spending 
money. 

Rex and I are lookers-on. That is going to be my role 
again, I'm afraid, like when I was a boy just looking on 
at life 



CHAPTER XIII 
Others in Arden 

IT'S queer how intimate Rex and I have become again. 
I never would have believed we could, even a few months 
ago, I was so blinded by my hatred. At least, I thought 
I hated him, but illness seems to clear up your mind as 
well as your body and give it a new start. 

I honestly and sincerely like him. I don't understand 
myself a bit, but that is true, Di. We like each other ; 
it's two creeks converging, we cannot help ourselves. 
It seems as if from the beginning of things we were meant 
to. I wonder is there anything in those old transmigration 
theories, and have Rex and I always been mixed up with 
each other's lives before, that we cannot keep apart in 
this? 

For that's the truth again, Di ; he is so much a part 
of my life once more, that I can hardly picture it without 
him. I'm afraid to try, and again I can't tell you how 
it came about. It didn't exist, and then suddenly it did, 
like those tropical plants that come up in a night, or else 
you might compare it to the birth of a child. It's only 
alive in anticipation and the hearts of those who desire 
it, and then suddenly it's there a living, kicking, and 
mostly yelling fact for all the world to handle. Our 
friendship is like that. 

And, you know, we don't live in any rarefied place of 
exalted emotion ; we aren't aeroplaning about in the 
clouds of reverential tenderness, although there's always 
a strong man's tenderness that's not expressed but 
that in a way permeates his every action and word to 

297 



298 PETER PIPER 

me. But, all the same, we laugh and tease and half- 
quarrel with each other, just like any other ordinary 
friends. 

I wouldn't have believed it possible once; I thought 
the memory of our well, I thought, you see, we could 
never get away from it. It shows how little I knew of 
life. We scarcely ever think of it at all, and, anyway, 
when I do it's nearly always when Rex is away, not when 
he's with me. It's so very far away sometimes that I 
think I only dreamt it. It doesn't seem to belong to 
life and Peter Delaney at all. 

It's as if we'd made a tacit agreement to ignore some 
things, and when we do get on to the past, as you can't 
help doing, inadvertently even, the way he speaks of it 
never hurts me ; I don't know whether it's because of 
the way he says it, or because he is just Rex. After all, 
there is nothing like a true friendship. I have never been 
quite so peacefully happy in my life before ; I think he 
is, too, though sometimes he says tiny things that disturb 
me vaguely. 

To-day we were down at the lily-pond Di, how sick 
you must be of hearing about that place ! but it did look 
fairer than usual to-day. The clumps of arums stood 
straight and proud on the brink, disdaining even to gaze 
at their mirrored selves, they were so sure of their beauty ; 
the variegated bamboos were more anxious, every now 
and again they swayed forward for a peep and then shrank 
back half-afraid to look at what they so desired to see ; 
the sky was a glowing sapphire, the pond a piece of blue 
glass, and the air an invitation to sleep. 

Dolly and Ralph were lazing underneath one of the 
willows. They looked like a Dicksee painting, and, some- 
how, as I gazed at them I felt a sudden twinge of envy, 
such as Adam and Eve must have felt after they'd been 
turned out of Paradise, if, coming back to peep over the 
railings, they'd seen another man and woman inside still 
unspoiled and innocent. 

" Rex," I said impulsively, " they've found Arden, 



OTHERS IN ARDEN 299 

too." Then I tried to turn my sudden queer jealousy 
off with a laugh. " Find a motto for them, Rex." 

A sudden little flash leapt into his eyes, making them 
like the sky, but it faded quickly as he said, " The whole 
play belongs to them now, Peter; they've only left one 
line for us." 

" Well ? " I said as he paused. 

" Can't you guess ? " 

I shook my head and pulled a dandelion to pieces. 

" ' How hard it is to look at happiness through another 
man's eyes.' We didn't need that line when the whole 
play belonged to us, did we, Peter ? " 

" If you get sentimental," I threatened. " I'll laugh." 
But I didn't feel a bit like laughing. Isn't it funny I 
should have got so cross with Dolly and Ralph ? 

But with his usual sensitive courtesy he followed my 
lead. "Did I tell you," he said mirthfully, "that I 
went to see sister Margaret last Sunday ? " 

" No, you didn't," I replied. " What for ? " 

" Well, you said I wasn't to come and see you ; there 
was nothing else to do." 

" My dear man," I said, " there are dozens of other 
houses, and dozens of other girls who would have been 
delighted to see you." 

" I don't care to go anywhere else, and you know it." 
For a minute he looked at me gravely. " Anyway, as I 
haven't been near them for eight months, my conscience 
bade me go and play the good uncle. Margaret has four 
children. Can you imagine me a fond uncle, Peter ? " 

Every inch of his six-foot-two was one silent yell of 
mirth, which I translated aloud. " No, I can't," I said. 

" I was. I talked football to the boys, and let the 
two small girls sit on my knee, they were remark- 
ably solid." He stroked the aforesaid knees in tender 
reminiscence. 

" Why, how old are they ? " 

" One about ten, the other thirteen, I should say." 

" Oh ! " I only remarked. But I think at that age 



300 PETER PIPER 

they ought to know better than to sit on Rex's knee ; 
he's not even their proper uncle, as their mother is his 
half-sister, and, anyway, they don't know him well, for 
he hardly ever goes there. But what has it got to do with 
you, Peter, anyway ? 

Rex pursued his rumination. " In between gour- 
mandising chocolates " 

" Which you took them." 

He ignored the interruption : " they fought for the 
honour of putting their arms round my neck, and as I 
happened to be the battleground, as well as the casus belli, 
my collar and shirtfront suffered. Do you see a scratch 
down the side of my nose, Peter ? That's a testimony 
to Wilhelmina's affection for me ; it was intended for her 
sister." 

" What it is to suffer from a handsome face ! " I said 
a little tartly. I'm sure I don't know why I snapped ; 
it's nothing to do with me if he has fifty nieces, grown-up 
ones too, but he looked downright triumphant for a second 
or two. I don't see why my being bad-tempered should 
please him particularly, and I was about to say so when 
he suddenly pointed and said, " Look ! " 

I looked ! I wonder if I could tell you about it, Di ? 
I think it would need an angel accustomed to transcendental 
glories even feebly to convey its splendour to you. The 
west was a high bank of violet clouds, like mountains ; 
between the hollows of them were little bays of blue-green 
sky, over which white smoke drifted now and again like 
spray being flung over the crags ; above was a belt of 
flame which gradually dropped around the purple hills ; 
it was like Hades passing into oblivion on the last day. 

It was beautiful, terrifyingly beautiful, and I didn't 
realise for a minute we were holding each other's hand 
tightly ; and when I did, I didn't like to draw it away, it 
seemed like emphasising things ; so we sat and watched the 
evening drop her black mosquito netting over day. 

" Doesn't it make you feel lonely ? " Rex whispered. 

It didn't seem right to speak loud there. I nodded. 



OTHERS IN ARDEN 301 

" Life is such a short thing, such a tiny thing in the 
face of the sunsets. They show their prismatic beauty 
year after year, age after age, world after world, and we 
ants of Nature come and go, and the sunset glows as in- 
differently for us as it did for Antony and Cleopatra, as 
it will for another Antony in a hundred years. Peter, 
don't you see that to hoard youth is to waste it ? It is 
like a cup of water ; guarded jealously it evaporates in the 
sun of days, but use it to freshen the flower of love, and 
it lives intenser, more glorious and eternal." 

" How like Fran you talk," I said uneasily, and trying 
to get the subject back to a conversational level. " Are 
you very lonely, Rex ? " I could still see the shimmer of 
Dolly's dress, it looked as if Ralph was kissing her. 

" I am a lonely man, Peter," he replied gravely (he 
had let go my hand) ; " I am thirty-two now, and you are 
only twenty, but when you are as old as I, you may under- 
stand what loneliness can mean, though I pray God you 
never will. I have no kith or kin near me, no one to 
whom it would make an atom of difference if I died to- 
morrow." 

" Rex ! " I cried reproachfully. 

" I said difference, Peter ; you would be sorry at 
least, I like to think you would, but that is all. It's a 
horrible feeling that you don't matter. I thought work 
and success were what made up a man's life, but I've 
found success is tasteless unless you've someone to enjoy 
pride with you. Work's no use unless you've someone 
to work for, someone at whose feet you can lay your little 
triumphs as a burnt sacrifice. It's my own fault, I know, 
that I'm lonely I had my chance in fairyland, so very 
long ago it seems now. In the enchanted Forest of Arden 
I met love, Peter, and, not knowing its worth, I let it 
go by, and so I'm lonely, very, very lonely, waiting and 
hoping that perhaps God and " he smiled whimsically into 
my eyes " Peter may give me another chance." 
There was a very long silence. 
" Sing something," I said abruptly. As usual, he 



302 PETER PIPER 

obeyed me without demur. It is only the strong who 
can be weak ; a weak man feigns strength. 

" Any orders ? " he said naturally again. 

" Anything you like," I said. 

His face against the darkness was like a statue's hewn 
in stone. Sometimes I think there must have been a 
music festival on in heaven when Rex was born ; and, 
as his soul stood shivering in the pearly gateway, before 
sliding down the rainbow earthwards, the little outcast 
must have turned back and cried a last " Hosanna to the 
Lord ! " before the gates clanged to, and he was born 
with that golden cry echoing in his throat. 

" Give me thy hands and press them to my heart, 
Give me one kiss, and all my doubts depart, 
For I have learnt the sympathy that lies 
Like tender flowers within those hidden eyes. 

Ah ! love, give me thy sympathy, 

Give me thy sympathy." 

His voice swelled and thrilled and died away, but the 
air still shivered with passion. 

" Rex," I cried incoherently. " I do, I do oh, indeed, 
Rex, it isn't that I won't I 

" There's no such word as can't," he said. " Dear- 
est " 

" Orpheus ! " (Dolly's voice was only two feet away 
from us, therefore presumably so was she grass is more 
silent than carpets), " Orpheus, come in at once, or the 
dews will ruin your musical-box." 

You can't start a talk going again, once it's been inter- 
rupted, can you ? 



CHAPTER XIV 
Preparations 

HEAVENS ! I wish it were Saturday instead of Tuesday. 
A wedding is more nuisance than anything else on earth. 
The house is all upset, and people keep coming in from 
morning till night ; we never have a minute to ourselves. 
Either it's dressmakers or caterers or marquee men (we're 
going to have two on the lawns), or people come to see 
Dolly, and even the postman seems to give us extra visits. 

Dolly has the exquisitest trousseau I've ever seen, 
not that my acquaintance with them is extensive, but it 
is very lovely. She has a dozen of everything, and they're 
composed mainly of tucks, lace monograms and medallions 
that's what you'd say on a superficial view, anyway. 
I made her wedding nightgown, you know, and all the 
girls rave over that ; Lucy was so smitten with it that 
I've promised to make her one too I wish I hadn't 
still, she's going to have a long engagement, so I shan't 
be so rushed. I don't like doing fancy work when there's 
other things to spend your energy on. I think it's only 
to fill up if your life is getting dull. 

Every afternoon or evening there's somebody in to see 
Dolly's things; it's just like holding a perennial recep- 
tion. Trixie is as generous as she is loving, and that's 
saying something. She's the only one of us that seems 
to be really enjoying herself; the bustle and the eternally 
opening and packing again of pretty things seem like 
medicine to her. She was a little quiet and upset for a 
while, after she knew father had told me, but now she is 
gayer and prettier than ever. 

Dolly ought to have an awfully nice home. I'm to 
303 



304 PETER PIPER 

go and stay with them, in about a month, when they've 
settled down. You see, I need a rest, and they think 
Port Victor will be the very place for me. It will 
be quiet then, for all the summer visitors will have 
gone. 

Of course, I know lots of people will think it's a silly 
thing to do ; young couples should be left to themselves, 
and all that sort of thing, but I reckon they can get too 
much of each other if they are not careful that's Dolly's 
opinion, too. I want to put up at one of the boarding- 
houses and just visit her, but she won't hear of it. She 
says in a month they'll be fighting each other with the 
flat-irons, and I'll be simply invaluable as referee ; secondly, 
I'll be company, for it'll take her some time to get to know 
people, and Ralph will have to spend all his days visiting 
old women and talking scandal at choir practices. 

That's Dolly's version of it, of course ; how she'll 
pan out as a curate's wife makes the family pale to consider, 
but I guess it's Ralph's affair. Poor boy ! it's his bad 
time now ; Dolly is always too busy to speak to him, 
and when he comes to the house he's smothered in a whirl- 
wind of things feminine. I suppose clothes do bore a man 
when there's nothing inside them, but they're a source of 
inexhaustible joy to Dolly and me. 

Whenever I feel sad I go and look at my bridesmaid 
dress. Dolly decided to have two of us, after all ; she 
defied Trixie and convention and asked Dot Parks. She 
was going to have Rex and me at first, you remember, 
but she told him later he wasn't ornamental enough in 
the way of decoration, and she'd have another girl as well. 
That, of course, makes us see a lot of each other too. I 
was down at their place this afternoon, and Dot was up 
at ours in the morning. We've had to go shopping together 
to get our shoes and gloves exactly the same, you know, 
and really I like her hugely. She likes me too ; she 
says I keep her merry. I told her that was a good thing, 
for the Proverb man says, " He that is of a merry heart 
hath a continual feast." Dot is very religious, so I am 



PREPARATIONS 305 

always hunting up texts in the Bible to hurl at 
her when we have an argument ; she daren't refute 
them. 

But I was going to tell you about our dresses. They're 
unusual, like Dolly mole colour, almost elephant's breath, 
with the same shade gloves, shoes, stockings, and hats. 
The skirts are pretty short, and the stockings such a 
quaint pattern, with elephants worked in them. The hats 
have scarlet berries on them, the underneath is scarlet, 
and we carry scarlet berry and fern bouquets with long 
ribbons. Not another note of colour anywhere, except 
coral ear-rings. Our necks are bare, cut square (the 
dress-necks this time), and we wear no ornaments 
at all. 

I'm sure it will be awfully effective, and Dot and I can 
stand scarlet, we've both clear skins. I wish we could 
take Alcibiades with us, slung in a sort of flower 
cradle, it would be most uncommon, but I suppose 
he'd be sure to cry, and Dolly, anyway, won't hear 
of it. 

He sprawled on the lawn at our feet most of the after- 
noon. Dot picks him up as comfortably as if he were her 
own, but she's got several married sisters and she's always 
been used to them. I adore him, but I'm rather afraid to 
handle him for fear he'll break, or drop, or do anything 
else dangerous. I think I'd rather like to be a nurse- 
maid. 

Rex dropped in to see Dot on his way home from the 
office. They have known each other all their lives. 
Alcibiades took a tremendous fancy to him, and tried 
to eat the hem of his trousers and the blacking on his 
boots, till finally Rex met his advances half-way and nursed 
him, and the little turk sat, as pleased as anything, on 
his knee, blinking at us in a triumphant sort of way as if 
he were saying, " Wouldn't you like to change places with 
me?" 

I was sure he meant that, and Dot agreed with me. 
His eyes are a blue like Rex's. It seemed so quaint to 
u 



306 PETER PIPER 

see him nursing a baby, the wee thing leaning in the crook 
of his great arm so contentedly ; and he smiled down at 
it too, quite at his ease, though Dot teased him unmercifully 
and called him daddy. Rex only laughed in his good- 
natured way and said, " Oh ! Alcy and I are great pals, 
aren't we, old chap ? " And Alcy seemed to agree with 
him. 

It's strange such a giant should be so gentle and con- 
siderate for weak things. I begin to see now what loneliness 
must mean to a nature like his. He can't help loving 
people ; I think he loves the whole world. Sometimes he 
isn't thirty-two a bit, he's just a big, sunny-hearted, mis- 
chievous boy ; and how his mother would have adored 
him if she'd lived ! It's a queer freak of fate that one 
with a nature like his should be an orphan. If I were a 
mother I should like a son like him. 

He had a merry mood on, and he made us laugh like 
lunatics even Alcibiades crowed at one tale; and when 
he'd gone Dot turned to me with flushed cheeks and 
dancing eyes (I'd never seen her so animated before) 
and said, " Isn't he a darling ? Everybody adores him. 
He's just the same whenever and wherever you meet him. 
He never goes back on a pal, and he's always jollying some- 
body along. A laugh helps you over the stones awfully, 
don't you think ? " 

" Yes," I agreed. I was a little surprised by her 
outburst, for Dot is usually so reserved, and the comic 
part was I nearly said " Thank you " to her instead of 
" Yes." I felt as if she had been doing something for me 
by praising him. And to think when Dolly did it I used 
to be angry. Somehow I can't believe that was me. 
Our past selves are as much strangers to us as are any 
other people. 

Later on in the day she said, " He and Glen haven't 
made it up yet, I suppose ? " 

I shook my head. " I don't know anything about 
it." 

" Such a pity," Dot mused. " I wonder what they 



PREPARATIONS 307 

quarrelled over ? Everybody does, I think ; they were 
devoted to each other. Rex never says anything about 
it, but I think he feels it still. He must ; one can't kill 
love in a day, even if it is badly treated." She smiled a 
wry little smile and then said abruptly : 

" Peter, what made you get engaged to Glen ? " 



CHAPTER XV 
Dolly's Wedding 

THANK goodness, it's over ! I believe everybody must 
ejaculate that after a wedding ; it's a most fearful lot of 
work and bustle. From the moment we got up in the 
morning we never drew a peaceful breath till we saw 
their motor disappear round the corner. Such a chapter 
of accidents too. I thought we'd never get Dolly dressed, 
things kept getting mislaid ; and, even when we got down 
the road some way in the motor, Dolly gave a shriek of 
dismay and said we'd left her gloves behind, so back 
we had to go ; and the veil got lost too before that, 
and we spent a frantic half-hour searching for it, 
while Dolly sat on the bed and remarked pleasantly 
that Ralph might wait till the middle of next week 
before she'd be married without a veil (as we despair- 
ingly suggested), after the trouble she'd taken to sew 
blossoms on it. 

Finally it was unearthed beneath a hatbox, and I was 
going to say calm was restored, but I won't, I'll say things 
were a trifle less cyclonic. Dot and I spent the journey 
telling each other how nice we looked, and hoping the 
seams in our skirts wouldn't give way under the strain 
of being seated. Dolly's parting admonition, hissed 
over her shoulder as she entered the church door on 
Dr. Danish's arm, was, " Tread on my train if you 
dare ! " 

We were only half an hour late or thereabouts, by 
308 



DOLLY'S WEDDING 309 

some merciful dispensation of Providence, and Ralph 
was there waiting nicely. The poor boy had nearly 
given up hope. He and Rex had proceeded to the altar 
at the appointed hour of sacrifice, and stood for an un- 
comfortable ten minutes, but, when Dolly wasn't forth- 
coming, at Rex's suggestion they retired to the front seats 
and passed the time with lugubrious pictures of the married 
state, drawn by Rex impromptu and free of charge. He 
told me after. 

However, when he heard our toot-toot down the road 
he made his second debut, and it all went off as unevent- 
fully as most weddings do. 

Dolly looked well, just like a dolly. She really did ; 
as if she'd stepped out of a shop window dressed for the 
occasion. One guest he's a Count something or other, 
on a visit here called her " Un joitjou, un delicieux 
joujou blanc coiffe de fteurs d' or anger." Rex says he 
means the same as me. Anyway, she couldn't have looked 
daintier. The church was full of whispers. 

And you should just have heard that organ ; it shouted 
with joy and cried a little because we were losing her, 
and then sang high away up, in clear flute notes, how much 
they loved each other and ho\v happy they were going to 
be ; and when they finally came down the aisle with 
Dolly's veil thrown back, she trying to look as if it was 
all a false alarm, and Ralph going as if there were a fire 
in the building and he was endeavouring to save Dolly, 
the organ fairly roared with laughter. I wanted to go 
and hug it. It understood perfectly. 

It's no use telling you any more about it, is it, Di ? 
Weddings are all alike, and all boring to outsiders. They 
had a big sit-down luncheon or wedding breakfast or 
something in the marquees (it was really tea), and in 
the evening we had a dance in one. 

But Dolly and Ralph had to leave early to go wherever 
they are off to for a few days they wouldn't tell any- 
body, she only had her luggage addressed to the station 
from here. 



310 PETER PIPER 

They slipped away between the dances, so that no 
one knew when they were gone, and they weren't bothered 
with rice and confetti and other rubbish. I think it was 
rather a clever idea, don't you ? 

Dolly must have had the time of her life while she did 
stay, for the boys simply fought for the honour of dancing 
with her, but I suppose she'd sooner have been with Ralph. 
Life always gives you things when you don't want them.- 
He broke through his rule and danced too. He said he 
guessed he was entitled to on his wedding day, and we 
had a lovely waltz together. 

Rex and I had some beauties, too. He's the exquisitest 
dancer I've ever met, and he says the same about me, 
which is lovely but untruthful of him. It seemed so 
quaint at first ; we'd never danced together before. He 
told me I could never dream, even, how he'd often wanted 
to last year. He said sometimes, when I was waltzing 
with Glen and . the others, he felt like springing in and 
snatching me from them. 

" And what do you suppose I would have done ? " 
I laughed. His blue eyes were only a few inches away 
from mine. 

" I didn't suppose I knew that's why I didn't. 
What would you have done if I'd asked you to dance, 
Peter ? " 

" But you wouldn't." 

" I nearly did, sometimes. I wanted to speak to you 
so badly. What would you have done ? " 

" I don't know," I replied thoughtfully, " but I shouldn't 
have danced with you." 

" I say " he looked suddenly troubled, and his arm 
loosened its hold " do you mind now ? I never thought 
if you do even the smallest 

" Rex," I said, " do you want me to put my hand 
over your mouth in front of all these people ? " 

Dot said to me afterwards (she had been watch- 
ing us with rather a curious expression once or twice, 
I noticed), " Peter, you and Rex do make a hand- 



DOLLY'S WEDDING 3" 

some couple. You look as if you were meant for each 
other." 

Isn't it awfully nice ? I forgot to tell you, Di, Rex 
will be down at Port Victor for a few weeks about the time 
I will ; he says he's a bit run down and needs some rest. 
He's getting on awfully well now, they say. 



CHAPTER XVI 
A Letter from Dolly 

How time flies ! It's nearly three weeks since the wedding 
already. 

I haven't talked to you before, Di, because there's 
been nothing to say, life's been going on in the same 
old fashion, I am not allowed to go out much or excite 
myself even yet, so things are inclined to be a trifle dull, 
but I amuse myself very well with Foxy Bill and my 
fowls and Rex. He comes fairly often, and he always 
keeps me laughing from the minute he arrives till he 
goes. 

He is a dear, big, silly boy I do wish he had someone 
to look after him ; it must get desperately monotonous 
for a man with strangers the whole time. He says his 
landlady has a face well, words are inadequate, he always 
yearns to remove the milk- jug from her vicinity, and 
one of the female boarders is almost worse, only she couldn't 
be ; they're a dead heat, and they both disapprove intensely 
of him. Rex says that when he looks at their lugubrious 
countenances he feels like saying, in the words of the classic 
poet, " Smile, damyer, smile," only he knows it would 
have the effect of making their faces longer still. 

I asked him why he doesn't move, but he says he's 
sick of changing his quarters, they're comfortable enough, 
and every place has some drawback or other. " The only 
place that hasn't," he said, " is a man's own home 
when 

I pretended to be absorbed in Foxy Bill, and asked 
him if he had been to the theatre lately. 

He says everything has panned out beautifully, he 
can get away a couple of days after I do, and has written 



A LETTER FROM DOLLY 313 

to the hotel for a room. He guesses Dolly will want me 
to herself for a bit. " You're sure to have a lot to talk 
over between yourselves," he teased ; " I wonder if you 
will be able to exhaust the main topics in three days ? " 

I am looking forward to it ever so. I've never been 
to Port Victor before, and Rex has been lauding the rocks 
to me, so he makes me curious ; and he says we'll go over 
to the Bluff and West Island, and Encounter Bay too, 
so it ought to be nice. 

I had a letter from Dolly yesterday, she seems pleased 
with life still ; she said she's getting used to being called 
Mrs. Manners, which shows middle age is descending 
upon her, and that Ralph, when he introduces her to any- 
one as " my wife," doesn't say the word now in a tone that 
invites heaven and earth to listen to it. Her house is 
rather pretty, and she is beginning to learn the difference 
between carbonate of soda and maizena; one never-to- 
be-forgotten-day (Ralph won't let her forget it) she made 
a pudding with carbonate, and put the maizena in the 
cabbage ! She adds that Ralph often suffers from 
mysterious pains which he ascribes to her cooking, but 
which she declares are the pangs of disillusion. " I get 
them myself," she wrote, " but the ridiculous part is, 
Peter and mind, I tell you in strict confidence the dis- 
illusioning makes him out nicer than ever before, which 
seems against the rules, doesn't it ? But he is rather a 
dear ; I'm sorry if I've mentioned the fact before." 

The letter is all she and Ralph, and the rocks, and how 
pleased they are with each other and life, and so forth ; 
it made me feel a bit lonely. I wished Rex would come 
round. I miss Dolly more than I thought I would, she 
was so lively, she always had a joke for a mournful face, 
she kept the family salt dry with the wind of her wit. 
After all, I believe humour is a better antidote for bad 
temper than all the resignation of the angels. Patience 
in others, when you feel anything but patient yourself, 
is only an added irritant. 

She's had one perfectly awful experience. Some 



314 PETER PIPER 

practical joker (and Dolly's going to have his scalp when 
she finds out who it was) slipped a handful of confetti in 
her new green parasol and carefully fastened it up again, 
and Dolly but I'll give you her own account : 

" Behold me dressed for church, Peter, after much 
perspiring, and heated observations from Ralph, who 
considered it quite too much for one morning to have to 
wrestle with his own collar and my hooks as well. However, 
the (fortieth, according to Ralph) last look in the mirror 
assured me my dress was remarkably nice, and even the 
Bear melted enough by the time we reached the church 
door to give me a smile of admiration as he left me. Don't 
get annoyed, Peter, the poor dear can't help himself, 
and he'll get over it in time. 

" Naturally I took my new Sunday-go-to-meeting 
brolly with me, but as it was not very hot I hadn't opened 
it going, which made me exclaim later, ' Oh, all ye green 
things upon the earth, bless ye the Lord,' to the intense 
approval of one of our parishioners. 

" Observe the ' our,' Peter. But she didn't know 
what caused the outburst, luckily. 

" I waited for my lord and master after the service, 
and as we got outside the gate I OPENED MY BROLLY. 

" Oh ! Peter, and again O-oh ! 

" In view of the whole departing congregation, a shower 
of confetti, like manna from heaven, descended upon us. 
I've always been taught in my youth to shudder at the 
fate of those Jews I forget their name who were swal- 
lowed up in an earthquake, but that morning I envied 
them. 

" And my sweet-tempered husband for once actually 
reproached me, without choosing his language either. 

" But, after all, who could help laughing ? Still, I'm 
afraid Ralph will soon starve, for I shall never have the 
courage to go and face the world again. 

" Note. My world here is represented mainly by 
the shops. Riddle : ' What is worse than to feed a 
hungry man ? ' Answer : ' To feed two hungry men.' 



A LETTER FROM DOLLY 315 

* I suppose that's what I'll have to do soon, for I hear 
Rex is coming down in your wake. Peter, you're a bad 
female. Yours ever with love, 

" DOLLY (don't laugh) MANNERS. 

" P.S. You'll have to treat me with respect now, 
and don't you forget it. Oh, Peter ! it's gorgeous, being 
married. I feel like saying to everyone, ' Go thou and 
do likewise.' The other day was perfectly terrible. I'd 
been humming that phrase over to myself to various tunes, 
and when the vegetable man came he told me his lettuces 
were rather dirty owing to the rains and they needed a 
good washing, and, Peter, I said thoughtlessly, for the 
wretched refrain was still in my head, ' Go thou and do 
likewise.' Do you think he'll come back again ? Ralph 
will be so sad if we can't get any vegetables. 

" Hurry up, Peter, I'm dying for someone to talk 
nonsense to. It's so oppressive being Mrs. Manners all 
the day long. I want to be wicked Dolly again to some- 
one. So do come. 

" I expect you Thursday oh ! and I forgot, Ralph 
sends his love 1 " 



CHAPTER XVII 
Heartaches 

I'VE been pretty busy the last few days packing and 
collecting my clothes. It's perfectly marvellous the 
amount you need to take with you for a few weeks. From 
the size of my luggage I'm afraid Dolly will think I've 
come to live. 

And then I've had lots of things to fix up about my 
fowl-yard. Wilkins is going to look after the fowls for 
me while I'm away, but I don't like trusting him with 
them ; you do get to thinking, when you're used to doing 
a thing, that no one can ever quite fill your place. I'm 
worried too about Maria, she looks rather seedy. I gave 
her a pill of butter and cayenne pepper this morning 
though, so I have hopes she will improve. 

My chickens are doing splendidly, I'm taking a few 
of the older ones down to Dolly ; she hates fowls, but likes 
fresh eggs, so she's effected a compromise. Ralph is going 
to look after them when I leave. I'm taking Foxy Bill, 
too, for company ; besides, he fretted so when I was in 
the hospital, I'm afraid if I leave him again so soon you 
won't be able to tell which is the shadow and which 
the dog. 

Trixie says she'll be miserable without me, and even 
Dr. Danish said last night I would be missed in the house. 
I was too surprised for the minute to answer him. I was 
so delighted, though ; he seldom says anything nice, so 
when he does you value it. I believe I'll miss Dot Parks 
as much as anybody else. I was round there this after- 
noon ; she had some girls to tennis. Of course I'm not 
allowed to play yet, but I helped Dot with the tea, and 
we talked a bit and watched the others^ 

316 



HEARTACHES 317 

Lucy was there, displaying her ring, and inundated 
with questions. None of us know the man, who is an 
engineer at the Hill, so naturally we are fearfully curious. 
She is getting quite thin, and she explained it was the 
effort of trying to live up to his ideal of her. It must 
be wearing to marry a man with ideals. 

Dot looked so nice ; she wore a rough violet tweed 
skirt and a creamy blouse. She rarely wears anything 
but purples ; I think it is so clever of her, it makes her 
quite distinctive to have a colour of her own. It always 
makes me feel like a poacher if I put on anything heliotrope. 
I've two sweetly pretty new frocks to take with me to 
Victor, one is grey and one a greeny-blue ; they both 
suit me rather. 

It was delightful in the shade of the trees, watching 
the girls dash round in the sunshine with faces like 
tomatoes that have just been watered. The Parkses have 
plane-trees planted all round their tennis-court, which 
shelter it both from sun in summer and wind in winter. 
I told Dot it made me feel a lady to be sitting there, cool 
and white, instead of rushing round with a racquet, but 
that was only sour grapes. I made a start on Lucy's 
point-lace. 

Alcibiades was there in his pram, taking lessons. He 
had the discrimination several times to applaud Dot 
Lavington's volleys. She does play a splendid game, 
there's no doubt about it ; for all she's small she's as active 
on the court as a cat ; she can get from the back-line to 
the net in less time than it takes to breathe. My Dot 
sat beside me and watched her without a muscle on her 
face moving, but her dark eyes were inkier than usual. 
Once at an extra brilliant rally she called out evenly, 
" Good stroke, Dot ! " 

I stared at her, and she turned and met my gaze. 

A queer little smile crept round her mouth and she 
said, " Dot does anything well she takes up ; she always 
succeeds." 

" Dear ! " I said involuntarily, and caught her hand* 



PETER PIPER 

' I wish I was dead," she said in the same quiet voice, 
but on the hand away from me I could see the knuckles 
show white through the skin. " Or I wish she was. I 
suppose if we were not civilised I should try to kill her ; 
as it is, we kiss each other. You can't understand, Peter." 
And for the first time a little gust of passion swept through 
her voice like a wind in the plane-trees. " You don't 
know what it is to be flung off like an old shoe. We were 
not engaged, but it was only because he is not through 
yet ; everybody knew we would be, as soon as he got 

his degree, and now why Yes, mother, more tea ? 

I'll go and see about it." 

She moved in her slow, graceful way across the lawn. 
Once she stopped for a second to watch the play, and 
again I heard her voice, " Splendid, Dot ! " 

What a queer old world it is, all pretty and bright 
on the surface, and everybody with heartaches ! Do 
you know, Di, life reminds me of a human body : it's 
all fair soft flesh outside, but everybody's hides a hard, 
ugly skeleton. 

So Dot went inside to get tea, and I sat and nursed 
Alcibiades. 

She did kiss Dot Lavington good-bye. 



CHAPTER XVin 
At Port Victor 

I'VE been at Port Victor three days now, Di, and I'm in 
love with it. Likewise I'm in love with Tommy. Don't 
shriek, Di. or display your amazement in any other un- 
dignified fashion Tommy is five years old. Dolly says 
it's really over the fence to be saddled with a ready-made 
family before she's even quite resigned to a husband. 
But she doesn't care for children, and though she makes 
the best of Tommy, as she would of toothache, she regards 
them in much the same light. So I have taken charge of 
hinu 

He's the dearest little chap, just like Alcibiades will 
be in another four years, even to the ginger shade in his 
straw hair, and energetic but I've found he adores fairy 
tales too, so we get on splendidly together. I forgot to 
say he's Ralph's nephew, and has been very bad with 
measles ; the doctor prescribed sea air for him, and, as 
his people are not well off, they asked Ralph if he could 
come to them for awhile. 

Dolly assented with more politeness than cordiality, 
but it is rather rough on her to be bothered so soon with 
outsiders, for she'd never set eyes on the child before, 
and she's always remorsefully trying to take him off my 
hands, saying I must be worn out ; but I'm not a bit, 
I really enjoy being with the imp, he has such quaint 
ideas. 

It's just the thing to see Dolly again, too. I was 
hanging half-way out of the window long before the train 
got into the station, and when we did see each other I 
could have squeezed her to death ; but Dolly hates public 



320 PETER PIPER 

affection, so all we did was shake hands and say, " I am 
glad to see you, old girl," but we stood and beamed at 
each other idiotically for a few minutes, and then Dolly 
returned, as it were, to business. 

" Let's collect your luggage," she said, " and give it 
to a carrier. We'll walk home, it's only a little way ; 
you must be dying for a wash and a cup of tea. Fiendish 
journey, isn't it ? A train that takes five hours to do sixty 
miles ought to be ashamed of itself. And how's Trixie 
and Jack and Dad, and your beloved fowls ? Oh ! Peter," 
her voice quivered, " I'm gloriously happy, but I do want 
to see them all dreadfully sometimes." 

But in a minute she was laughing again Dolly always 
was a lightning-change artist in the matter of emotions 
and she positively swelled with pride as she showed me 
over the house. It's quite nice even outside for a sea- 
side place (you know how the salt air deals with paint and 
mortar), and inside, of course, it was as dainty as a bride's 
house ought to be. 

Dolly told me I'll have to amuse myself most of the 
time, for what's holiday to me is workaday to them. 
" Ralph's out most of the time," she explained, " flirting 
with the females of the parish, and I sit at home, like 
Martha, and cook. I'm on the way to becoming a piece 
of kitchen furniture, Peter me, a student of psychology 
and philosophy. My psychology is now trying to divine 
what Ralph 'd like for dinner, and my philosophy is shown 
by putting up with his rude remarks about it. You're a 
beautiful cook, aren't you, Peter ? " she rattled on as 
we were getting tea. " One, two, three, that's right. 
No, four plates ; you forget the blessed Tommy. I don't 
know what Ralph wants to have relatives for, they've 
never been any use to him so far, but when I point it 
out all he says is ' Live in hope.' Oh, what was I saying ? 
Yes, I remember, but you shan't try your omelettes and 
pies on my lord and master, or you'll be weaning his 
affection away from me. Six weeks of wedded bliss has 
taught me a man's affections follow his food. Alack ! " 



she sighed so prodigiously that a startled rose fell out of 
its bowl, " cynicism is sad in one so young." 

We went on with cheerful nonsense like this till Ralph 
came home. If Dolly's cooking is all she makes it out to 
be he must have a wonderful constitution, for I never saw 
him look better in his life. They both look splendid, 
and the disillusions Dolly mentioned don't seem to have 
exactly cast a cloud over the home. 

Ralph seemed as pleased as Dolly to see me ; he told 
me after he was afraid she was a bit lonely at times, although 
she never would admit it, for she didn't know anyone 
down there as yet, and I was a real godsend to them both. 
And I really love to be with them too, I don't feel a bit 
in the way. If I did I'd go to the hotel like a shot. 

This evening we went over to the rocks. Isn't it a 
great walk across the jetty, and round the bend, and up 
the steps, with the sea beside you all the way singing at 
your feet until you get on to the rocks themselves, boulders 
like mountains, and the full roar of the open ocean smashing 
itself against them in clouds of spray ! 

I had a telegram from Rex this afternoon; he gets 
down by to-morrow's train. 



CHAPTER XIX 
Memories 

I LIKE Port Victor more and more. And really it is nicer 
since Rex came. He's such a perfect sort of person to 
go out with ; we seem to understand each other's thoughts, 
and we never say the wrong thing. Dolly always does. 
When we are standing on a rock jutting right out over 
the growling waves, and the sun is making the sea in the 
distance like a big Japanese gown with white birds flying 
across it, and the breeze in your nostrils is like a razor, 
and the tingling of clean joy trembles all over your skin, 
Dolly will say absently, " Lovely, isn't it ? Peter, that 
reminds me I've forgotten to do the beans ; we'll have 
to go home early." 

It's simply amazing what six weeks' marriage has done 
for Dolly, she's turning into a mere cooking machine. 
Rex says Ralph must have proposed to her something 
like this : 

" Oh, Dolly, make home sweet home for me 
With carrots and cod and the lively pea, 
Mix parsnips and puddings in every course, 
And serve up our love with tomato sauce." 

Dolly threw a saucepan at his head when he declaimed 
it to her, and Ralph roared. But the change is surprising. 
She, who wouldn't soil her hands at home, takes a perfect 
joy in sweeping floors, and making beds, and washing 
dishes ; and when I ask her what on earth has come over 
her, all she does is laugh and say, " Wait till you find the 
right man, Peter." 

Truly, love seems to work miracles. A big passion 
322 



MEMORIES 323 

that is capable of a big sacrifice I can understand, yes ; 
but an everyday wearing love that can transfigure the 
monotonous round of household duties, no. 

Dolly is a puzzle. And yet I don't know, the night 
I was making those scones, and Rex sat watching me, with 
the damp still shining on his clothes, it did seem different 
from I don't know why in the name of fortune 
you will keep remembering like that, Peter. Do you 
want to spoil things again ? But that was the night he 
asked to be pals, and Fran told us about Brazil and the 
mermaids. I wonder if he remembers Di, I can see 
it now, the red glow of the flames on Fran's shirt, looking 
now and again as if he were catching alight. Rex told 
me my ear was like a rose-leaf ; how pleased I was. But 
then I was so young. I wonder if he thinks me pretty 
still ? He never says things like that now. 

For goodness' sake, Peter, pull yourself together and 
stop thinking silly nonsense. I'll have to take more 
exercise ; I suppose one could hire horses down here. 
You know, Di, it's the air of this place ; lying on the rocks 
hour after hour, with the sun seeming to melt in honey over 
your limbs, sends you into dreamy, drowsy reflections ; 
it seems to relax your mind as well as your body ; all 
sorts of vague hopes and half-shadowed remembrances 
flit through it, and you feel shivery, and happy, and appre- 
hensive, and full of a pleasant melancholy all at once. 

We spend a lot of time on the rocks. Rex calls for me 
fairly early in the morning, and Dolly hastens our departure ; 
she'll scarcely let me do a thing in the house, she's so 
proud of her privilege of making herself a maid-of-all-work 
for the beloved Ralph that she is positively jealous of giving 
anyone else a share in it. She sometimes comes out with 
us after lunch, but never in the mornings. However, 
Tommy, like the poor, is always with us. 

We read half the time, or listen to the song of the 
surf and make up fairy tales. We play them for Tommy 
on occasions. We started with Cinderella, and Tommy 
chose the characters. He dallied for a long while with 



324 PETER PIPER 

the desire to be the Prince, but finally he said to Rex 
with an air of great magnanimity (of course I just had 
to be heroine, there being no other lady present), " You 
can be the Prince and I'll be all the other people." 

The play was a huge success according to Tommy, 
but when it came to the Sleeping Beauty, Rex said he 
wanted to be the wicked fairy, and anyway it was Tommy's 
turn to be Prince. There didn't seem to be any people 
about, and I hope there weren't, or they would have 
thought us escaped lunatics. Rex said they wouldn't, 
they'd have put us down as honeymooners quarrelling. 
Lots of them come down here; you stumble on them in 
all the nicest corners, and the new-comers look furious 
at having come too late, and the occupants furious at them 
for having come at all. 

We finished up with Red Riding-Hood, and Tommy 
howled with joy at Rex's deep wolfy growl, and killed him 
with an energy that reduced them both to breathlessness : 
so we sat and fanned ourselves, laughing like three children. 

When Tommy wandered off to invent a new way of 
risking his life, Rex turned his brown merry face to me 
and said, " My word, I shall have to look up these tales 
again, or Tommy will be down on me like a ton of bricks. 
How they insist on the details, these little imps. Have 
you still got the Blue Fairy Book, Peter ? Bring it out 
to-morrow, and we'll go over them again." 

I nodded, looking at the sea. 

So next day I took it out battered and beloved old 
thing! and we read the tales together: the beautiful girl 
who dropped pearls and diamonds out of her mouth, and 
the brave little tailor, and Snow White and Rose Red, 
and the goose-girl who cried : 

" Wind, wind, gently sway, 
Blow Curdken's hat away ; 
Let him chase o'er field and wold 
Till my locks of ruddy gold, 
Now astray and hanging down, 
Be combed and plaited in a crown." 



MEMORIES 325 

It was so exciting and queer to read them all over again 
together. When it came to the one about the maiden who 
turned into a water-lily, Rex was reading : 

" The horse on which the prince and the maiden were 
riding had just reached the middle of the bridge when 
the magic ball flew by. The horse in its fright suddenly 
reared, and, before anyone could stop it, flung the maiden 
into the current below. The prince tried to jump in after 
her, but his men held him back, and in spite of his struggles 
led him home, where he shut himself up in a secret chamber 
and would neither eat nor drink, so great was his grief." 

Rex's voice died away, and he was looking at me with 
troubled eyes. I found the silence awkward too. We 
played that in Arden ; it was the day he kissed my feet. 
He got up abruptly and said he wanted to smoke. Some- 
how a cloud seemed to have come across our friendship. 
Jasmine didn't know how hard it is to forget. 

It didn't go away even by the time we got home, so 
after tea I slipped up to the church to have a think. I 
often go there when I am worried or extra happy, the quiet 
and peace of it all brings you back to calm. I like the 
dusky corners of the altar and the painted windows. There 
is one of Mary in crimson robes on the right, and facing 
her a head of the Christ a fair, pale, conventional Saxon 
Christ, with a soft beard and a sweet cynical smile round 
His mouth. He seems very far away and gently disdainful 
of the seething world about Him, but that is what comforts 
me ; He seems to say, like Fran, " Nothing matters," 
and that gives me peace. 



CHAPTER XX 
Dreaming of Arden 

WE went down the Hindmarsh River this afternoon, 
Rex and Ralph and Dolly and me and, of course, Tommy. 
That child is gracious to the eyes with his mischievous 
mouth and sunny hair, but I don't like to see him wriggling 
over Rex the way he does, he is too like him. Dolly cried 
one day, " Why, it's ridiculous ! he might be your son, 
Rex," and, somehow, since that I don't care to see them 
together. But Tommy is always on him like a limpet, 
he adores him. 

We went around to the post and collected the letters 
on our way down ; there was one for me from Dot Parks, 
and one from Trixie. Dot's was disappointing ; she 
writes like her outside manner, stiff and reserved, and, 
having got past that to the real Dot, I'm not sensible of 
it any more. Her letters are like a douche of cold water, 
although I know it will be all right as soon as I see her again. 
Some people can't reveal themselves, can they ? 

I read Trixie's letter to them while we rowed up, and 
through them paying attention to it instead of the boat 
we got stuck on a sandbank ; however, we managed, by 
a special dispensation of Providence, to push off with 
the oars without the boys having to get out and get wet. 
I love to watch the rhythmic swing of men's arms as they 
row, and the muscles rippling on their shoulders. 

Her letter was quaint as usual. Dolly must get her 
humour from Trix, for the Doctor hasn't a scrap. She 
began, as all letter-writers do, by saying there was no 
news everybody was well ; the cayenne pill had revived 
Maria's fighting spirit ; and she hoped I'd soon get tired 

326 



DREAMING OF ARDEN 327 

of Victor harbour, for without us both she felt like an 
orphan. Also, to distract her thoughts from us she had 
started to read a handbook on somebody's liver pills left 
on the doorstep by an agent (the book, of course, not the 
pills), and in it was a small advice to husbands which might 
be useful to Dolly and Ralph, so she enclosed it in case the 
agent had taken no thought for their livers. Whether 
it was to be useful as a guide or a warning, as Dolly com- 
plained, she did not state. We read it out in the boat 
with appropriate gravity. 

' Don't quarrel with your wife,' " Dolly exclaimed, 
" ' even when she annoys you.' Hear that, Ralph ? " 

' Women hate newspapers and serious books. Don't 
let your wife rob you of your literary pabulum.' Well, 
I'm the conceited little animal." Dolly's wrath was 
almost speechless. " My word, if I could meet him I'd 
talk I'd talk Egyptology to him till he crawled under 
the table. What's next ? 

' Treat your wife affectionately, and conceal nothing 
of your life from her.' First approach to sense he's made," 
she commented, and the two men shouted with laughter. 

" ' Endure the frivolity of your wife, but don't let it 
go too far.' ' Dolly's sniff, which seems to have declined 
in volume since her marriage, surpassed previous records. 
" Throw the silly thing in the water, Ralph," she ordered. 
"It's an insult to the eyesight." 

" They're certainly crude," Ralph admitted sorrowfully. 
" I, even with my short experience, could amend these. 
How's this for a try, Dolly ? 

" ' Don't quarrel with your wife, and don't let her annoy 
you.' Means of preventing her not stated. 

" ' Treat your wife affectionately, and conceal every- 
thing in your life likely to distress her.' ' 

" Well " Dolly began indignantly. 

" Hush, I haven't finished. Now the next let's see, 
I have it. ' Endure the frivolity of your wife ; remember 
she can't help it.' ' 

But here I joined forces with Dolly and he had to 



328 PETER PIPER 

stop. Isn't it a joyous feeling when just nothing at all 
makes you laugh, when you feel over-bubbling with spirits 
that have to make an outlet somewhere ? 

Tommy hung over the edge of the boat dabbling his 
hands in the water. The law of association works in queer 
ways ; all of a sudden I saw that night on the Torrens again, 
but it left me cold. How is it emotion can never be resur- 
rected ? " Poor Glen ! " Dot said in her letter, "he is 
back again." The Hindmarsh is a prettier river, though, 
it is full of turns and twists and shallow side pools, followed 
by a bendy narrow way between thickly-bushed banks, 
then the open country on either side again, then once 
more you will be shut in by the gums. It's mysterious 
and unexpected. 

We got out at the tea-house and had strawberries and 
cream, leaving the boat tied to a log below. Do you 
know, Di, I believe I shall have to run away from Ralph 
and Dolly or I'll suffer from chronic melancholy ; sometimes 
I almost can't bear to sit and see them smiling into each 
other's eyes with that confident expression. It keeps 
stirring up what I've missed in life, and I must be 
contented. 

I believe they upset Rex too. Once up in the tea- 
house he looked from them to me, and at the back of his 
eyes was that funny pain I had not seen lately. I wish he 
didn't feel bad too, one of us is enough. I wore an oyster- 
coloured kind of dress, and a hat with emerald underneath 
and a blue-and-green shot gossamer ; he said I looked like 
a shell as we sat on a little patch of sand. 

Dolly says I grow lovelier every day I wonder if I 
do ? Perhaps the very nicest part was when Tommy got 
tired of looking for the fish and insisted on cuddling up 
in my arm. I watched his little cheek against my shoulder 
and started dreaming things. I would have kissed him, 
but Tommy thinks he is too big for kisses ; and while the 
sun crawled down the west we let the boat drift with the 
current awhile, and Rex sang to us and the darkening woods. 
We didn't thank him, words are too poor for a gift like 



DREAMING OF ARDEN 329 

that. A tiny silence followed, and just as Ralph made a 
gesture to take the oars he began again very softly. 

Dolly clutched my arm and whispered, " It's the gipsy- 
one he'll never sing." Then she hushed. We all sat there 
like part of the shadows ; it sounded as if the river had 
found voice at last. 

M You are my darling, 
You are my soul, 
Light of my life, 
My sun, my goal. 
You are my being, 
My delight, 
Star of my darkest night." 

He sang it to me once again ; I do wish he hadn't. 
It made me feel so anyhow. I had to do something or 
cry, so I kissed Tommy. He was too sleepy to protest. 

The sun was setting when we were still a mile away 
from the boat-shed a fat, apoplectic, gasping sun who 
blew deep crimson breaths all over the landscape in his 
efforts to wriggle into bed, which seemed too tight for 
him. We rowed along on a river of raspberry vinegar. 

Bit by bit he squeezed himself in, and the sky began 
softly to drop her coverings upon him ; first a sheet of 
blue, then sea-green, a primrose quilt came next, and a 
heavy eiderdown of amethyst, and then she hung a canopy 
of old-gold above his head and lit a crescent moon to 
light him to sleep. Once we went past a huge bush of 
wild rose, climbing carelessly and gigantic in its overgrowth, 
its leaves spread out in delicate tracery across the splendour 
of the west. Dolly whispered that it looked like black lace 
over yellow satin. 

The men rowed steadily, she and I watched the glimpse 
of the sun's domestic arrangements, and Tommy went to 
sleep. 

It was almost dark when we stepped out of the boat 
that clear summer evening dark, that has a thread of 
light spun through it. Dolly and Ralph went on ahead 
carrying Tommy, still in the Land of Nod. Rex and I 



330 PETER PIPER 

followed. The night seemed alive, and the long white 
road an endless promise before us. It didn't seem as if 
we had to go anywhere, we were just walking, walking, 
walking on in a dream to fairyland just the stars, and 
the dark shapes of the bushes, and the long white road. 
I think the way was bewitched, my feet seemed to dance 
along on air. And I was happy, one of those moments 
of pure unreasoning happiness life flings us now and again, 
like a petulant mother making amends with an orange. 

We never spoke all the way home. Once Rex opened 
his lips, but I said quickly, " Don't spoil it," and he gave 
me one of his wonderful smiles. 

" Are you pretending too ? " he asked. 

I was, Di. It wasn't wrong of me, was it ? But I've 
only dreams left now, never the real again, and I did 
just say to myself we were back in Arden. But it was 
only for a little while, and I know it could never be true. 

I wonder why dreams make you grumpy next day ? 



CHAPTER XXI 
Only One Thing Matters 

WE'VE been having the hugest fun for a couple of days. 
Tommy is to go home in a week, and we wanted to make 
the last of his stay as pleasant as could be, so we've spent 
the time being hilarious for his benefit, though I really 
believe we enjoy being silly as much as Tommy does. \\ > 
go on the beach, and make castles and gardens to play the 
tales in ; and, if you try, the sand is nearly as good as the 
bush for make-believe. 

Tommy went wild with joy this morning. We had 
gone for a long walk along the beach towards the Bluff ; 
it was a dull-looking day, so we put on weather-despising 
clothes, and of course ran into all the church people one 
always does, I notice, when not dressed for what Dolly 
calls the soul-and-pocket enlightenment. But we were 
glad farther on, for it began to powder rain, so we tipped 
an old boat on its side and sat in it. 

Rex against orders leant back, so Tommy looked at 
me and I at Tommy, and suddenly and both together we 
got up. Tommy shrieked with glee as Rex disappeared 
backwards with the boat ; I enjoyed it nearly as much 
myself. I suppose I am a baby, as he says ; and as he 
chased us down the beach, and we threw sand at each 
other, it was no wonder Dolly remarked on our tidy appear- 
ance when we returned. 

I felt too tired to go out this afternoon as I had promised, 
so I took Balzac's " Droll Stories " out of Ralph's book- 
case, and retired with an umbrella and Tommy to the 
microscopic section of lawn sheltered by a plane-tree, at 

33' 



332 PETER PIPER 

the side of the house. Dolly affects to despise this oasis 
in the backyard desert ; she says it must give passers-by 
the impression that the dining-room tablecloth is out 
airing. 

Foxy Bill invited himself to the gathering, and later 
so did Rex. He sat down and fanned himself. 

" What are you reading ? " he inquired. " ' Droll 
Stories ! ' " He frowned at it. " You oughtn't to read 
this sort of stuff, Peter." 

" Why not ? " 

He frowned again. " They're for men, not for women." 

" There's plenty of women in them." 

" Not your sort." 

I smiled queerly. " I thought they were." 

" Peter," he said in a hurt voice ; then he turned 
abruptly. " Look here, Peter," he said, " I can't stand 
it any longer. I've tried to be patient and wait, but we 
can't go on like this. All this rot about being friends " 
I started " you know it's rot," he said savagely. " You're 
everything to me, more than the breath in my nostrils, 
Peter, hear me out for once. If only I could make you 
see. You know in spite of what what you said at the 
hospital, you've never really forgiven me." 

" Oh ! " I said blankly. 

His jaw squared in that determined manner I knew 
so well. " I've just got to make you see it from my 
aspect. I'm going to speak straight to you for once, even 
if I shock j'ou to death. Peter, you will listen ? " A 
little note of pleading crept into his voice. 

I nodded, and played with the pages of the book. 

" Women don't understand a man's point of view, 
they can't, not your sort of woman, anyway. They 
are brought up in dreams, not realities ; they live 
with their minds, not their bodies. That won't do for a 
man. His is the searching instinct, the imperative need to 
love ; at least, for most of us. I may go on, Peter ? " 
I said nothing, so he went on. 
" You don't understand why you cannot forgive, but I 



ONLY ONE THING MATTERS 333 

will tell you. The social and the physical aspect of it are 
confused in your eyes ; I doubt if you even realise love 
has this twofold aspect. You think it was almost a crime, 
don't you, but to my mind we are no worse than Dolly 
and Ralph. I loved you, and you me, and we are human. 
Peter," he hesitated, " I may go on ? " 

I still said nothing. 

" I am not ashamed of that," he said defiantly. " 1 
loved you then, I love you still. What does shame me " 
(his voice quivered a little) " is that I deserted you. I 
think that will sear my memory in heaven. That is my 
crime ; in that I sinned against love and society alike, 
for both command that when you take a woman you keep 
her. That is what you have to forgive, if you ever do 
forgive me, Peter. It is not love I have to implant in 
you again, for love such as we had for each other cannot 
die ; you love me still, but the weeds of distrust and bitter- 
ness choke it down ; it is those I have been struggling to 
remove. It is hard, for faith once destroyed is a plant of 
slow growth. But, Peter, try to understand I am a man, 
not a hero or a saint. Even the hero may have been a 
coward once ; I have learnt my lesson, and I would not 
fail you twice." 

Bill turned in his sleep and yapped uneasily, but 
everything else was listening ; half-involuntarily I rose, 
and he did too. 

" I am a man, not a Galahad or a romantic boy." His 
eyes flashed, and he flung back his yellow head impatiently ; 
he was the Viking once more. " I want you you are my 
mate I want you." His voice was like little knives cutting 
at the cold wrappings round my heart, their straining made 
me dizzy. " I didn't know it then, I thought ambition 
counted most, but I know now, I've known for a long time 
there's only one thing that matters in this whole wide 
world, and that is love. Peter," he stretched out his 
hands to me, " you love me be my wife." 

And then the hot tears that were choking me welled 
up to my eyes. " I do not love you," I cried passionately, 



334 PETER PIPER 

" I will not, I will not ! " And I turned and ran away 
from him. 

I have been crying on my bed for an nour, and my 
eyes were so red I could not go down to dinner. What is 
the matter with me ? I thought I was so peaceful now, 
and settled. I have not cried since I left the hospital. 
Oh, I do wish Jasmine were here. But I know what she'd 
say, and I won't. 

He is right. I haven't forgiven him. Fran told me 
I was vindictive, I remember. I suppose I am. 



CHAPTER XXn 
Proverbs 

TOMMY and I and Foxy Bill went out on the rocks early 
this morning, I felt as if I must get away from the house, 
everything there seemed to choke me. I wanted the cold 
sea-wet air, and the slap and crashing of the waves against 
the granite boulders. How sweet is the tang of the spray 
that brushes your lips and the impatient heave of the great 
sea ! I wonder how many centuries they have looked 
down upon it, secure in their granite coldness ? 

Rex told me, one day, I was like one of these boulders, 
and he was the sea falling back from me baffled and fuming. 
He said the waves never gave up the struggle nor would 
he ; but he has he has gone to town again, he went 
this morning. I did not see him, but Dolly told me. 
She said, "He is going to make arrangements to leave 
the State, he is going right away ; and of course it will 
ruin his career," and her eyes simply stormed reproach at 
me, but she is growing too wise to say anything. 

Well, I can't help it if he is, and I do think it selfish 
of him. We have grown such friends ; I didn't realise till 
this minute that I shall miss him. Why, I shall, horribly. 
It seems dull out here this morning without him, even 
Tommy's chatter doesn't interest me. But no, no, I 
can't marry him, I just can't. Oh, he might be satisfied 
to be friends. Men are selfish. 

I can't help it if I can't love anyone else again. But 
I do like him ever so, he is so strong and gentle ; and 
Tommy worships him, and What on earth is the 
matter with me ? I couldn't feel worse if I had indigestion. 
Well, I don't care, there is a spell about him, and he is 

335 



336 PETER PIPER 

always at my bidding, and I never have to ask him twice 
for a thing ; and so patient too, for I give him nothing. 
There are not many men would treat me as he does. I 

shall miss him. I almost wish 

I think I'll play hide-and-seek with Tommy. No, I 
won't, I'll read Proverbs. I like the sonorous ring of the 
sentences. I read them aloud to the restless grumbling 
of the swell, and it makes them more impressive and 
convincing. 

" Hatred stirreth up strife, but love covereth all sins." 

" A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born 
for adversity." 

" As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, 
so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear." 

" The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a 
wounded spirit who can bear ? " 

Perhaps that is what is wrong with Rex. Perhaps I 
hurt him yesterday. I did not mean to, but he disturbed 
me. He always can disturb me, can I never live down 
his power ? But I am sorry if I was cruel again. Dolly 
told me he is coming down to bid us good-bye, I will say 
I am sorry perhaps he will stay then. 

Peter, attend to what you are reading. 

" As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of 
man to man." 

Oh, Proverb-preacher, how true that was how many 
years ago ? I remember I thought he was a god, and his 
eyes were the flame at which my soul lit itself. But my 
soul is dead. How soft his yellow hair was in the moon- 
light. And that night we rode home from Dick's. Can 
a girl ever forget her first kiss ? Oh, why is he so big and 
splendid and loving, or why can't we wipe out the years 
and start all over again ? 

" Who can find a virtuous woman ? for her price is 
far above rabies. 

" The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, 
so that he shall have no need of spoil. 



PROVERBS 337 

" She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of 
her life. 

" Her children arise up, and call her blessed ; her hus- 
band also, and he praiseth her. 

" Favour is deceitful, and beauty vain ; but a woman 
that feareth the Lord she shall be praised." 

Could Rex ever feel that about me ? Oh ! he could 
not, and I should die if he ever thought of me lightly. 
If my children knew, how could they rise up and call 
me blessed ? No, I can never marry him, I could not 
bear it. 

Peter, you are getting a perfect cry-baby; if you 
don't stop you'll frighten Tommy. Here the wee imp 
comes scrambling down the rocks, Bill after him. What 
a patching is in store for me, from the looks of things ! 
Well, I don't care as long as he gets here with a whole 
neck. His method, when a rock is too high to jump from, 
consists in sliding down it. Still, that only damages his 
clothes. 

What a bonnie boy he is ! I'll take him and Proverbs 
and Bill home to lunch. They've all done me good. 

Let's call out good-bye to the sea, Tommyi 



CHAPTER XXIII 
Alone and Afraid 

ONLY two days since he left us ; it seems like two years. 
And every minute I grow more frightened and puzzled. 
What do I want ? I have been thinking and thinking 
until my brain reels round, and I cannot see my way 
clear. I'm groping in a mist. Does Rex mean so much to 
me still ? Is it because of him that I am out of sorts ? 
Tommy says it's Rex. At breakfast this morning his woes 
broke out. 

" Rex needn't go away," he wailed, "it makes Peter 
humpy ; and she can't play Three Little Bears properly, she 
can't growl, and I want Rex." Tommy thinks he is too 
big to cry, but it was a hard fight then. 

Dolly and Ralph never even smiled, though I felt 
myself colour under Tommy's reproachful eye. But as 
he rose Ralph said casually, " I suppose Dolly told you 
he's coming down to-day to say good-bye to us ? " 

He gave a tiny shrug. " I am sorry ; he is a splendid 
fellow." 

Of course they cannot understand. * 

I have no one to turn to. I think I will go and sit 
in the church ; no, I won't, I'll go on the rocks again. 
It is stormy and grey, and it fits my mood ; perhaps 
I will find my answer there. 

Oh ! storm clouds and wind and lashing spray, soak 
through me, cool this fever in my brain, give me a sign. 

It is all grey, and I am alone and afraid. 



CHAPTER XXIV 
By Love Justified 

I CAME home long after lunch, wet and tired and 
depressed. There was no answer for me in the storm. 
But I could not rest at home, and at last I thought again 
of the silent little church. I would go and sit there, 
and perhaps, as so often before, calm would come to my 
spirit. 

The church was very dark, for it was a gloomy day ; 
the wind still shrieked outside, like an angry spirit hurling 
defiance at the house of God. The shadows seemed to 
move as if they were alive. At another time I would 
have been frightened, but to-day the presence of some- 
thing else besides myself comforted me. 

I felt so much alone. I flung myself down on the altar 
steps and stretched out my arms to Him, if He was there. 
I do not know how long I lay there like that, fighting with 
myself. 

" God," I wnispered at last, " God of all peoples and 
all creeds, show me what to do give me a sign." And 
then I rose slowly to my feet, for Rex was beside me. 
We looked at each other in silence for a moment ; 
the last rays of the setting sun fought a sulphurous 
way through the clouds and lit up his face and the brass 
crucifix. 

" They told me I would find you here," he said. " I 
have come to say good-bye." 

I did not answer, I was thinking ; at least, I didn't 
think exactly, but things seemed to flash across my brain 
like sheet-lightning, I didn't understand quite what they 
meant. 

JJ9 



340 PETER PIPER 

And Rex was speaking again. " I've given it up, Peter, 
I see it's no use. I'm beaten. And so I'm going away." 
The words came jerkily. " I can't stay near you. I'm 
going far enough away to never see or hear of you again, 
and by and by perhaps I'll forget you. If I only could ! 
Yes, I know I'm not thinking of you, I'm selfish, selfish 
to the core ; but, Peter, there are limits to a man's endur- 
ance, and I love you." 

He paused a minute, but I would not meet his eyes. 

" And so I've come to say good-bye." 

" If you loved me," I said, " you would stay and be 
my friend." 

" Friend ! " He laughed harshly. " Good Heavens ! 
you're talking to a man, not a china image, a man with 
red blood in his veins. Friend ! Why, I love you don't 
you know what that means ? love you as a man loves 
only one woman love you with the blood of my soul and 
the heart of my being." 

We neither of us raised our voices, it didn't seem 
possible in that silent calm, but somehow the harsh, tense 
whisper was more dreadful. 

" Though I have raised a barrier between us that you 
will never let me cross, I love you ; though I can ask 
for nothing, hope nothing. Peter ! " he cried in sudden 
anguish of realisation, " you are mine, I will not give 
you up." 

The last spasms of the dying day flowed in like blood 
over the shadowy benches and trickled down the crucifix. 
Rex drew my gaze to it. 

" Peter, in front of that may I speak of the past again ? 
For the last time ? " 

I caught my breath sharply and nodded. 

" I loved you then, although I left you, and you know 
it. I never meant to marry you," he said, and his voice 
was hard, " I only wanted a diversion, and you were 
something outside my experience of women, which was 
not inconsiderable. I am frank, but I can't damage 
myself further with you now. But the play turned to 



BY LOVE JUSTIFIED 341 

earnest. I began to care, and I stole your heart. That, 
in my eyes, is my crime ; but, before that sign of agony 
there, I never meant you the further harm you most condemn 
me for, and, Peter, as God is my witness, I believe when 
I came to my senses I would have gone back to you. 
Oh, Peter ! " his voice vibrated like the low strings of a 
harp, " can't you trust me again ? " 

I felt hot lead running through my veins, and I clutched 
the altar rail to keep myself upright. Coming to life was 
a painful affair. The last streaks of day came through 
the stained robes of Mary and lit up the lines of pain 
round his mouth ; the shadows about seemed blacker by 
contrast. I felt as if we were only two souls floating in 
the dim, mysterious light. 

" Of course you couldn't," he said hopelessly, " I 
shook your faith too rudely ; but, Peter, God knows, if 
you could forget the past, how I would strive to be the 
man you could help me to be. Peter, I love you so." 
He laughed sadly. " I've ruined your life, but, if it com- 
forts you any, be sure I have ruined my own too, for the 
only life that means anything to me now would be linked 
with yours. God knows I must have made you suffer, 
but He knows too I'm paying for it now, for my hell is, 
and always will be, that my own cursed hands have crushed 
the only flower in the world for me. There's no torture 
like a man knowing that he himself has slammed the gates 
of heaven in his own face, and that it is his own fault 
that the woman he loves must hate him, in life, and death, 
and after." 

The shadows invaded the painted windows now, turning 
their blues and reds to tender grey ; the rain outside 
sounded like sobs. And as I looked at the fading head 
with its sad, yet smiling mouth I found my answer, 
and once again, as so long ago, the springtime blossomed 
in my heart. I knew that Rex was right ; for good or 
evil, right or wrong, I was his woman his, unquestion- 
ingly, irrevocably, from the beginning of time throughout 
eternity : that father was right too ; hatred and bitterness 



342 PETER PIPER 

are only smarting pride, and love true love covereth all 
sins. 

Father and Fran and the Pro verb- writer, a queer 
medley, but they all knew the one big thing I didn't. 

" God forgive me, Peter," he said with a break in his 
voice. " Good-bye." 

I went to him with my hands outstretched, glad and 
unashamed, for by the love I bore him was I justified. 




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